(earlier that day after Iljae) 

"I am sorry yongguk. But i don't think it's gonna work out" i said and i could see the life leaving yongguk's body and i felt miserable. I hated that it wasn't in my nature to be mean or say 'no' for once. "Okay if that's your choice." yongguk said his eyes not meeting mine, he had his head bowed as he was crawling off my bed and then walking away from me. It took is sagging shoulders to trigger a deep guilty feeling inside me. "Yongguk wait." i said and he stopped walking. His head turned around to face me and i sat there debating to myself, arguing with myself, fighting myself, begging me not to even say it. "I-i really do think it's not gonna work out. I-i mean i've never done any of this with a guy. and the way you're doing this it's too much, you're going to fast and you frighten me!" I say.

Yongguk's gaze turned to pity as he looked at me and somehow i can tell he was sorry. "If we had met in different conditions, where you don't ualy attack me and just confess to me instead, would i have fallen for you? i don't know.but i don't think i would. (sigh) ugh i'm going crazy....i guess what i'm trying to say is it doesn't hurt to give it a try...." i quickly look down at my lap not wanting our gaze to meet, not wanting him see my nervous and embarrassed face, not wanting to see his reaction at all. Scared and afraid that he would laugh and mock me claiming that he wasn't serious about me i the first place. 

i am too confused with myself, I tell myself that i like women and that yongguk is just playing with me. But i give him a chance anyway. I fear when he touches me ualy, but i blush and get excited when he looks at me, I'm just a mess. i don't know what i want. Sometimes i feel that it's wrong to have ual activities when you don't know whether you like that person or not. or even when there's no love at all. 

I finally look up from my lap and i see yongguk in front of me smiling sweetly. Like if the wildness he had inside him left and he became a peaceful man. Like if he understands what i feel and he's gonna make me feel better and decide what i really want. He gives me a gentle hug and i don't know if i should accept it. Is it giving a signal that we are official? Does it mean that i need him? will he misunderstand? Well either way  signal or not i accept his hug and let his warmth embrace me. I hear a soft "Thank you." On my ear as i feel his head on corner of neck, and his warm breathing on my shoulder. then i start to relax the fears slowly leaving. for some reason i feel like he has a big smile. His snuggly hug felt so comfortable i didn't even notice that i was drifting off to sleep on his shoulder until i felt a soft and tickly nibble on my neck causing me to  lightly moan and push yongguk so hard he landed on the floor, breaking the hug between us.

"hehehe sorry couldn't help it, you're just too adorable." he said as his excuse. I pointed my index finger right at him. "Not so fast wild lion, we start as friends only."

"Wah? why?"

"You're too fast damn it! Take it or leave it ."

"I'll take it." He says quickly." But i'll be hard to resist you~." He said and i felt my cheeks heat once again. "Oh must for you~" I mimic a child's voice. Then i turn to face him and go merong~ and turn back. 

Yongguk being an impatient person i suspect  he'll get irritated that we start as friends but when i turn to look back him he was smiling like a hyena. He was so excited by himself it really surprised me to see this side of Yongguk. Bang yongguk the most strongest and fearless guys of our school. His gummy hyena smile was so funny it actually made me chuckle a little. Yongguk was so happy he jumped me, Pushing me even more on the bed, and laying on top of me. And almost immediately one of my fears rises and i was worried yongguk might want to force me to have with him again. Panic was spreading and i wanted to free myself but then yongguk laid besides me. "Don't worry i ain't gonna do anything. Didn't you just say  we we're starting as friends? why are you thinking those y thoughts my y honey~"  He winked at me and i calmed down, The panic decreasing. "I want to lay next to you forever." He suddenly said his voice lower and calmer and i started to silently blush my curious eyes trying to meet his as i turn back nervously but when i faced him the only thing i met was his peaceful, sound asleep looking form. I got envious. How can he sleep like that when my heart is beating because of him! doesn't his heart hurt too? isn't he nervous? to just sleep? 

His breathing was like an air conditioner on my head and the silentness of my room was also tiring me, So before i knew it i fell asleep with yongguk hugging me. 

~*~*~*~*~***~*~*~ (Setting at school early in the morning) 

Walking in the school's hallway and seeing couples kissing and acting lovey dovey towards each other is very annoying. Especially when someone such as myself can't seem to confess to the one i love  or i might even give up on love completely. Don't they know there are some lonely people who become more miserable thanks to them?

There was this one girl who is kissing her boyfriend hard and passionately. She sees me pass by and she stops like she was caught cheating. "pretty dangerous~" I heard her whisper and she smiled at me seductively waiting to see my reaction while her boyfriend looked mad and confused. If i wanted i could tell her right now that i want to date her, and maybe i won't be so lonely. I can get any girl i want by the snap of my fingers but she is not the one i want. The one i want is nice and adorable, he is not a she, but he only thinks of me as a friend that comforts him. Sometimes it's hard to resist or pretend not to love him so i usually stare at something, mostly at the window and i start to think about other things and try to get myself distracted. And because of that my friends thinks that i like to be a the cool lone wolf. maybe i do. Sometimes i stop to think what he thinks about me, but i will never know unless i ask. 

I ignored the girl's attempt to seduce me and continued walking around aimlessly. It was really early so class hasn't started yet, I like to come early to school because i like to travel in the hallways thinking about things or even thinking about nothing. In the back of the school where students are not allowed there is a balcony i go to so that i could grab some fresh air. I don't like to be near the one i love, He always reminds me how much i love him but how weak i am to build something that is more than friends. 

I stay on the balcony when i hear a familiar voice say "Soohyun?". i hum not wanting to face him. I want to forget about him, i want to feel nothing but friendship between us and for that i need some time, It's very useless to stay in love when you know very well that he won't feel the same way for you. I felt his touch on my shoulder and i felt a vibrating chill commencing  on my back, this time causing me to turn around.

"Are you mad at me for hardly hanging with you guys?" his soft voice said. 

"No." I responded. I never talk a lot with him and i have my reasons. I don't want to spill out anything by accident.

"(chuckles) Aren't you curious though?"

"I imagine it has something to do with your conflict with Ilhoon." 

"HA! you catch on fast. Didn't know you are the type that knows about everything"

"well there's a lot you don't know about me." i say sounding quite cold without meaning to.

".............."

"............." 

"(sigh) yeah well...."

"Mir i like you" i find myself say suddenly my heart pulse rising. 

~**~*~*~~~*~*~*( Same time in the morning) 

I start to shuffle in the bed  as i realize that i have just awaken from my deep slumber. Without knowing at first i felt like something  was replaced or missing from my bed. Like when a kid sleeps with a teddy bear and then the next morning the bear is gone and the kid feels empty without it. Immediately i open my eyes and saw that yongguk was gone. Maybe he needed to go to where he lives. I stared at my clock in a daze too busy thinking about yongguk to notice that it was 10:54am and when i did notice i threw myself on the floor. ! i thought. There is no way yongguk got ready for school and didn't wake me up. Good thing i showered last night before trying to copy sungjae's homework. I grabbed new under clothes and my school uniform. Without remembering that this wasn't my house i opened the door to my room, stumbling on the hallway half putting my pants on. Then my white plain shirt and last my sweater. I reached the last floor and i was running towards the front door when i heard a familiar voice. 

"Honey~"

I turned to my left and saw yongguk with a frying pan on his right hand and a spatula on his left, then i paced walked towards him. "Yongguk hyung!" I shouted sounding relieved to see my lost teddy bear. "Honey~" He replied. 

Once i was close enough, When he least expected it i hit him hard on he head. "Don't call me honey! and do you know what time it is! why didn't you wake me up? What are you doing at this time making pancakes!" i Whispered -shouted while he pouted making me feel slightly guilty for yelling and hitting him but when the nice aroma of pancakes with syrup  struck my nose i just had to eat. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~~

'Will you stop staring at me?!" I finally said after swallowing a piece of hot pancake.

"Sorry, i can't help it you are just so adorable! It's amazing what i missed because i haven't met you before. "

"Will you stop it with your pick up lines?" I said my heart pounding and my cheeks burning my flesh. So annoying.

"Pick-up lines are not in my dictionary, i like to call it sweet romancing." Yongguk said with a grin. "Why don't you stop" He said pointing at me

"Stop what?" 

"Stop sweet romancing"

"How the hell am i hitting on you?" 

'With them cherries you call lips." He responded winking at me. surprised but not surprised by the response he gave me i stood froze.

"Excuse me for a second." I said getting up walking out and away from the kitchen while yongguk stared at me with his eyebrows furrowed. From then on i walked straight forward to the bathroom and probably maybe if i didn't do it too loud my guess is that neither yongguk or Mr.Jung heard me screaming  my veins off in frustration as i ran my fingers through my hair.  I looked to the mirror to see my bright red face. I hate when i blush! especially when people make me blush!. It wasn't only my cheeks that are red, it was my whole face possibly even on the bottom of my chin. I sat there on the toilet, waiting. Just waiting to calm down. And while on the trip to  thinking i remembered how late it was and i came barging out of the bathroom to find myself face to face with yongguk hyung. 

I froze just for a few seconds before i can speak and move again. "Y-yongguk we are going to be late." I manage to say and i start to walk off ahead but suddenly i felt yongguk grab a hold of my wrist and spin me around to face him. When he got my attention  he placed both of his hands gently on my cheeks, cupping it. And just in a matter of seconds my heart was thumping like a horse's hoofs hitting the road. It was so loud in my head i was afraid yongguk might hear it. And it gets much worse when i start to hear bells chiming.  He brought my face closer to his as a smile came to view and i gulped, I was almost about to slowly close my eyes again but then i remembered the first time i did that. He left me on a cliff end making myself look like a fool. So instead i looked at anything else but him and waited to see what he was going to do next. After he pretty much examined my face he told me to look at him and i obeyed. A big smile spread across his face. "Hehehe look at you~ getting bright red~" He cooed. His gentle touch turning hard and painful while he pulled my cheek repeatedly, like if i were a chubby baby. 

"I refuse!" i squeal as i push the cheek monster back. his laughter filled my ears as i once again felt my cheek blush. "aish! whatever! we're gonna be late." I say once again heading for the stairs but as i was about to run i was once again prevented from going anywhere because yongguk wrapped his arms around my waist, placing his head on the corner of my neck. "Ah! yongguk-" i moaned too surprised to finish my sentence. He spins me around to face him again, untying his arms off my waist. "today we're not going to school, I think we should have an 'us' day." Yongguk hyung smiles awkwardly like if he were pleading for my approval. 

"Hyung you're going to prevent me from having an education?" I say. If sungjae were here he would laugh his off because of what i just said. Because he knows well that i don't pay attention at all. Considering as well that i slack off. When i'm in class, whether i am  reading a mystery manhwa or i'm snoozing. If they assign me to a homework, i copy off of somebody else's homework, not really learning anything, i think i fail the tests. the teachers never tell me whether i passed or failed, i don't participate in projects unless i'm partnered with sungjae, i'm just a mess when it comes to school. so i started to think about hyung's question again and i changed my answer. " Maybe i can skip school today." I say yongguk's gummy smile appearing. His hands we're on my shoulder and he slid them down slowly on my arm, his touch easing on my skin and making me feel good, setting an undying spark on my body. His hands finally reached mine and he embraced them tightly leaving the rest of my arm to miss his touch. 'You won't regret it." He finally said after  the long minute of silence and him playing with my fingers. Then we make our way down the stairs to what i assume is a date. 

~*~*~*xX Author-nim Xx~*~*~*~  

Geez ya'll must hate me! an author-nim who doesn't update.! I'm sorry! *Bows* and i'm sorry if you didn't understand most that was here am have a very bad writing so~ basically yongguk and minhyuk kinda make up and are going on a date and soohyun doesn't know how else to behave in front of mir cause he really doesn't want to stay friends no longer so~ 

Thanks for reading~ Hopefully i'll be back soon~