I’m walking up to Yoochun with the plastic bags, cleaning rags, brooms, and buckets. I’m putting them all to the ground and taking away Jaejoong’s shirt from Yoochun. I’m inhaling the smell of it. Yes, it’s definitely Jaejoong’s.

“Is… is Jaejoong having fun with his roommates in here?”, I’m whispering and looking sadly, hurt and jealously at Yoochun, “Did he ever tell you something about all of this? I’ve seen pretty disgusting things in here.”

Yoochun’s looking away and lowering his left corner of his mouth again. He’s scratching his head and sighing. He definitely knows something.

“Tell me!”, I’m shouting at him angrily and nervous.

“Listen… it’s…”, he’s taking in a deep breath before telling me the truth, “This is Jaejoong’s room for sure and yeah… the soldiers in here do bizarre things.”

He’s taking a break and starting to clean up the room. I need to know more! I’m kicking the water-filled bucket and making it turn upside down. Water’s splashing everywhere and Yoochun’s making that “Aish!” noise.

“What’s your problem, dude?”, he’s scolding me, “We need to clean up! You’re making a bigger mess, damn it!”

I’m kicking Jaejoong’s bed too. Unstoppably. Yoochun’s clutching my arms and trying to drag me back.

“Stop it, pabo! What are you doing?”, he’s saying and suddenly pulling me with all his strength away from Jaejoong’s bed.

“He cheated on me?!”, I’m shouting uncontrollable, “He cheated?!”

Yoochun’s expression is pretty confused. He’s instantly slapping me and ordering me to come to my senses.

“Shut up! You have no idea what he’s been through, while you were away all those years!”, he’s shouting at me and slapping me again, “Talk to him first before you draw some conclusions!”

I can’t help. Imagining MY Jaejoongie with others… it’s killing me! I can’t! This is driving me nuts. My jealousy is too big. It’s taking over my feelings and turning me mad. I feel disappointed. I can’t believe this! I don’t want to stay in here for any longer!

“Dude, you were separated for so many years and you never ever tried to keep contact to him!”, Yoochun’s noting and continuing to clean, “You can’t judge him for his past. If you can’t trust him, now that you’re together again, than it’s not worth going through all the struggles. You decide.”

Decide?!

I can’t handle this.

“Tell me, what… what do you know?”, I’m asking my fellow and starting to clean up too.

Yoochun’s sighing annoyed and putting his fist on his waist and holding up the broom towards me.

“Listen… that’s nothing I can tell you. You need to ask Jaejoong about this.”, he’s telling me and continuing his duty.

I’m not satisfied with his answer at all. How am I supposed to ask Jaejoong, when it’s so ing difficult to meet him? I need Yoochun’s help. I need to know what’s going on in here.

“Help me… please.”, I’m telling him, “I need to talk to Jaejoongie… right now. I need to know!”

Yoochun’s shaking his head and pointing at the window.

“Jaejoong’s in the ordnance depot right now. He’s preparing the weapons for the evening training of the second department.”, he’s telling me and picking up some trash, “You’ll not be able to meet him now… as the night watchman is outside and the commander’s making his rounds.”

Ugh, he’s right. I can’t meet him for now. How am I supposed to concentrate with this mess up? My brain won’t let me work in peace… it’s showing me all those pictures of Jaejoong in my mind. Ugh! I need something to distract myself!

“Yoochun… I’ll go clean another room, if that’s ok with you…”, I’m saying.

My voice sounds jealous, mad, sad and confused at the same time. I believe Yoochun knows why.

“Dude… calm down. Believe me, there’s no need to worry now. Jaejoong’s eyes are on you, only on you.”, he’s telling me and trying to calm me down, “You guys kissed and told each other about your feelings, so calm your man.”

He’s laughing, patting my shoulder, and looking into my eyes. He’s right, but still… I don’t feel ok staying in this room. Before I enlisted… who was it that Jaejoong shared his… his… his… love with? Damn it! This is making me upset! To be honest… I don’t want to know, but damn it I need to know! Is he good-looking? Is he tall? Is his body shaped greatly? Ugh… I’m nuts!

“Yah! What’s wrong with you? Stop it already and focus on duty!”, Yoochun’s shouting at me and taking me out of my thoughts.

I can’t calm down in here. And I don’t know, how many times I’ll think this. The only thing I can do, is to leave now. Instantly!

I’m picking up my bucket, broom and other utilities and leaving Jaejoong’s room without looking back.

“Hey?! Where… where are you going?”, Yoochun’s asking me confused, but that’s all he’s doing.

He isn’t following me. I’m pretty sure that he’s aware of me wanting to be lonely for now. So I’m thankful to him for not going after me.

I’m walking down the great hallway. I want to start with the room that is far away from Jaejoong’s. I don’t want to think about anything consisting of Jaejoong. Then suddenly my fellow, whose name I still don’t know, is standing in front of me and looking at me with a big grin on his face.

“Jung, are you done cleaning already?”, he’s asking me and smiling happier.

“Uhm.. no… not yet. We’ve recently started.”, I’m telling him and continuing walking as he’s following me.

“So… you’ve seen his sleeping room I guess.”, he’s noting and glancing at me from the corners of his eyes.

Does this mean he knows som