It's been several weeks now since Yunho joined the military. We haven't spoken yet. The situation is kinda weird and I believe that he feels uncomfortable with me around. I want to ask him so many questions. I want to know how he’s been doing. I want to talk to him, but I’m pretty sure he won’t. Damn! My feelings… they are becoming stronger. Through all the years we’ve been separated I tried to forget him, but I know I couldn’t once.

I’m lying without a shirt on in my bed and staring at the gray wall, while phoning with Junsu. Yeah, we are allowed to phone once in a while and today I wanted to talk to him. My room is small and filled up with bunk beds. Of course, I’m sleeping on top. I can’t handle lying down there! Every room has space for six soldiers. Everyone has his own locker, sheet, thin blanket and pillow. I wished I could share my room with him, instead I’m sharing it with other fellows. I like my roommates… but Yunho is special to me. Damn!

Luckily every room has a restroom, but to shower we need to gather in the shower halls. We’re allowed to shower six times a week and we must take turns with the other department of the military base. Unluckily I couldn’t meet up with Yunho at the showers. Neither while we did our workout. I’m continuously thinking of him. He still is my... Uh, no! I shouldn’t think this way!

“Uekyang kyang!”, Junsu's laughing at the other end of the phone.

I haven’t told him about Yunho yet. I can’t. We’re talking about Junsu’s appearance on EBS Space. He really is happy about broadcasting. I’m so happy. We’re progressing. It feels good to hear my friend’s laugher, like I could years ago when we were still members of Dong Bang Shin Ki. I've the feeling that the JYJ-bill's going to pass soon. I know it'll happen. It has to!

Suddenly the door of my room's opening with a loud bang. I'm reflexively hanging up on Junsu.

“Get up! Kim Jaejoong! It’s your duty to cook today’s meal!”, the commander's shouting with his high-pitched voice as soon as he enters my room.

I’m getting up like a flash, staying straight, putting my feet together and holding my flat hand onto my head. It’s the usual military salute.

“Your comrade is waiting for you. Now move!”, the commander's ordering with an aggressive expression.

I’m nodding, quickly putting on my shirt and rushing out of my room.

As I'm entering the kitchen, someone's bumping into me. I can hear a tray falling to the ground and plates breaking. As I bend down to help gathering the shards my eyes meet with Yunho’s. He’s looking up and suddenly he stops his movements. We’re both surprised. Or shocked? I can’t really tell. What should I say?

Yunho's quickly putting the shards onto the tray and leaving without a word. What on earth? He ignored me once again! Much more importantly is that we are both in charge with today’s cooking and this means that we’re going to spend a whole day together in the kitchen. This is the opportunity to talk to him. There’s no one to interfere. It’s only the two of us!

Ok, but first I need to calm down. I’m taking in a deep breath and plucking up courage.

Alright, I’ve to make the first move. I’m slowly getting up and walking towards my ex-fellow. Yunho’s back is turned at me. He really is trying hard to avoid me. Avoid my eyes, my face, my body…

As I'm walking up to him, I stand still next to him and prepare the potatoes. We need to peel them and bake them in the oven. There are plenty of them. It’s a big pile of potatoes. We’ll be peeling them for two hours, I guess. Unluckily the potatoes are so dirty, that we must wash them first. I’m picking up three of them at once and cleaning them up accurately.

I catch myself watching Yunho from the corner of my eyes. Damn, he is so handsome. I love his short hair. Ah… I think that I’m blushing now. Promptly I'm looking away. I can hear him sighing. Yunho's turning to me and looking at me for a while. Is he willing to talk to me? I can’t look at him now. I’m too nervous and my face is red like chili!

“You haven’t changed at all…”, he's whispering.

As I've heard his unique voice, I can’t hold back and am turning slowly towards him. His eyes are still on me. I believe I’m staring at him. How long has it been since we’ve talked to each other? When was it that we stood across each other like this? I have a lump in my throat. I’m losing my concentration.

“How come that you’re still shy around me?”, Yunho's asking me with a soft look.

Why is he talking to me? He tried so hard to avoid me until now. He ran off every time I came close to him. I shake my head and put up a potato.

“We need to… peel them… now.”, I'm stuttering.

Damn it! What’s wrong with me?! Obviously, Yunho is trying to build up a conversation with me, and all I can say is that we need to peel the potatoes?! Blast it!

Yunho starts laughing silently and he's walking off to get a basket. He's filling it up with the potatoes and walking off to the table to start peeling them. I can’t let him do it alone. I’m filling up two baskets and bringing them to him. I'm taking place in front of him. I’m clearing my throat and looking at him.

“How are you doing?”, I'm asking him still nervously.

It’s my first attempt starting a proper conversation.

Yunho's ignoring my question for a moment, and then he's suddenly standing up and walking towards me. I can’t believe what he’s doing next. He's hugging me tightly. Too tight. I’m gasping for air. Still, I can’t help but put my arms around him. The next thing I hear is him crying. It breaks my heart.

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