I was walking with Jay around the backyard garden hand in hand. The garden itself was probably much more expensive than everything Jay and I owned combined. The flower bushes and hedges made a miniature elegant maze and in the center of the maze was an Ancient Greek style pool. Part of the swimming pool also had a manmade cave for shade. Jay and I exchanged smiles and soon jumped into the pool with all our clothes on.

            The cold gush of water immediately was absorbed into my clothes but my clothes then felt as if it was flowing and I soon was flying around in the pool with cool warmth. As the temperature confusing water wrapped around me, Jay wrapped himself around me as well. I then wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

            It was weird after that. Jay gazed into my eyes and soon enough, our lips pressed softly together. What was this feeling? I didn’t know that I would be doing this with him, nor did I ever plan to. The feeling of being truly loved made my heart melt and I wanted to cling onto him. But I wonder… are these emotions really here? Do I really love Jay? He’s like an older brother who only takes care of me. I would be lying if I say that I never had thought of him of anything more. But I know that I still think about Bobby… am I just taking advantage of Jay?

            I slowly broke my kiss, though not moving my face far from his. Our faces were still just centimeters apart and I could still feel his warm breath brushing against my lips. Jay looked at my lips slightly confused but I could feel his face change with bittersweet emotions.

            With hesitation, Jay whispered, “Sorry…”

            “No… I am,” I whispered back into his lips.

“Do…,” Jay closed his eyes. “Do you still love him?”

With a huge lump on my throat, I tried to answer after hesitation, “I… think so.”

“You either do or you don’t,” Jay’s brows scrunched together.

“I did,” I snapped slightly. “But is it so wrong to be confused about an ex?”

“Fine,” Jay composed him