My hand is trembling but I gather all my courage to do this. This is the only way I can revenge him, my ultimate revenge. It have been a long time I plan to do this, I don't want to mess it. My perfect plan will be accomplish, I grinned as I can see the result.

 

'Hahahaha...you will regret for picking fight with me, Heechul' I laughed by myself before realize how creepy I am that time.

 

But the sudden turn light make me startled. My hands are shaken as I saw a people looking at me who is currently trying to destroy a mini project.

 

“Stop it, Jessica!” Yonghwa shouted make me stunned. I don't even realize that there is already many people were crowded in this room. The air seem thin as the atmosphere make me drown int his dilemma. There is the project member were glaring at me, All of them were looking at me and give me that look disbelief with me .

 

I was so shocked that I don't even know what should I do, I was frozen in this state, my mind can't thinking as always. My heart keep beating so fast and sweats keep falling down.

 

'Am I busted?' I try my best to look calm even only God know how much I scared that time.

 

“Hey, Jessica. I don't know you can be this cruel. How come you want to destroy our final project for God sake! It's our final project!” Hankyung was yelling to me as I keep my poker face. Others were whispers among themselves make me so tiny in this world.

 

I was shaken and sweat keep falling, I grip my fist as I hide that card. I'm searching for my friends, my back up where is them? I need you right now, really need...

 

'What's with my back up, Seohyun. She should cover for me,' It just then, she pooped out beside Yonghwa, look a bit pale and guilty.

 

'Aish this girl, I know I can let her do this,'

 

“Unnie, I'm sorry...I can't let you do it, I'm sorry,” She said, apologizing with her b tears.

 

'Damn Seohyun, how come you betray me. You're the one that I trusted so much. How could you,'

 

Right now people look at me with hatred face. This is so hateful, their look make me shiver...I can't even say anything.

 

“Hey say something, apologize to us,” They keep chattering and make a noise. What should I do?

 

It's only a little if compare to what he did to me, that brat Heechul..where he is...why I can't see him here. Then I caught a glimpse of him who is just looking at me with that indescribable face. He just standing there, watching me here. It's so annoying. Then I see Sooyoung was also there, my life savers!.

 

“Jessica..how could you..” Sooyoung said as she also look at me with that hateful disbelief. I really hate it.

 

'Why my friends also turn their back to me, how come their turn me down in this crap situation, No I need to defend myself. But this back stabbing is really hurt me, and how come that annoying boy just only standing there, not saying anything. It's not it his chance to make me ashamed. It his advantage thought.'

 

I was so annoy , this is all because of him..

 

“This is all you fault, you jerk!” I yelled as I'm pointing him. He just gasped as looking at me, I was burn in anger so much that time.

 

“Hey, what's wrong with you. You're the one that make mistake yet still blame another people. You're so evil,” A girl who I don't shouted at me. I was gasped.

 

'This is...,' all of them were saying bad about me. I was stutter with all the mean and hate word from all of them. This hatred is killing me...I can see how Sooyoung shaken her head, disappoint with me. I can see how tremble Seohyun is.

 

'Why you,' I'm all alone...I can see people bad mouthed me, demand me to apologize...

 

I'm sad...I'm scared...How I felt so lonely that time...this mix feeling I can't describe it, but there's no one there for me...I am all alone...this hateful feeling...I clenching my teeth, I need to calm myself first.

 

“So what? Nothing is happen, right?” I said annoyed with all this people. Then I just walk away like nothing happen, passing all of them and passing him, we were stare at each other a moment then I just purposely bump him.

 

I still can hear their dissatisfied argument with my attitude. But I don't care...really don't care. My step were heavy and it become weaken as I keep walk away, my chest is like to burst out with all the burden and accusation, my legs were shaken and badly tremble, I don't even realize tears was keep falling down.

 

'Please...I don't want to look weak,'

 

I just fall down as there were far away from all of them, my body were terribly shaken, I'm scared with what happen, tears keep overflowing that I can't even can control my tears even how much I wipe the tears, It's so scaring...being hated by people, now they hate me, people hate me...I'm scared....

 

----------------------x----------------------------------x-----------------------------x--------------------

 

This morning, I decide to look normal and calm even my eyes are a bit swollen. I walk to the class like nothing happen yesterday. I reassure myself and hypnotize myself. My step were stop as I'm looking at Sooyoung was standing there.

 

I feel happy but the way she look at me is killing me inside, I need to stay calm. I just walk towards her.

 

“Jessica, I'm sorry. I can't be your friend anymore, I'm so disappointed with you,”

 

My world seem crushing when she said that. 'Soo..you're my friend, I only have you here. Don't leave me' I want to say it, but the word won't come out.

 

“By the way, I don't need a friend like you,” I said and glare at her. I'm hurt actually but I don't know that I can say that cruel word to my dearest friend. She look so disappointed and just walk away, left me behind. I just can see her back.

 

“Then I wish you luck,” She said before leave.

 

'Luck?' My eyes were b with tears but I hold it. I need to be strong. Seohyun was also there, feeling guilty. She want to approach me but Sooyoung stop her, she drags her away.

 

Then the walk away, walk away from my life...it hurt.

 

'I don't need you, I don't care, I can living by myself, I hate you...I hate you two..I hate you...I really hate...rrreeeaallly hate yoouu,' My body were trembling as I try my hard to hold back my tears and this sadness.

 

“Eh, it's not the girl that want to destroy Heechul's final project,”

 

“Yeah she is,”

 

“Hey, she is so cruel. Its ts for final project, how come she want to destroy it, They try their best to finish it,”

 

“Meanie!”

 

I can heard all that mean word towards, wherever I 'm walking there's a lot people bad mouthed me. News sure spread fast, its expected as Heechul is a popular guy in this collage, I really want to shout and yelled to the to stop but I couldn't. They don't know why I'm doing this...they don't know why I do this...this is all because of that damn Heechul. He always make miserable.

 

Even from the first time we met. I accidentally wet his shoes. It's not like I purposely do it, the caramel coffee just slip from my hands, since then we were fighting since forever. He always make me embarrassed by doing various thing such as changing my assignment, hide my bag, purposely make me embarrass in front of people, make my clothes dirty, accused me that I got a penalty. I don't even know how much I cry because of him. I can't stand it anymore that I decide to take revenge.

 

But why people blame only me when I just want to defend myself. I just want to make him feel miserable as I do. I...I...really hate him.

 

“Jeesica,” that's annoying voice, I hate it, I just ignore him but he quickly hold my wrist.

 

“Hey,” I yelled, trying to free from him.

 

“Jessica, I'm sorry.”

 

“What? What with this sudden?”

 

“I'm sorry, I don't know that all the prank I do before make you push yourself become like this. I don't know I was too mean to you that you hated me so much. I never expect you to become like this...” he said it sincerely but why would I believe this man, No way. I just push him away.

 

“Do you think I will forgive you, you jerk. There is the reason why Hell exist, you must be happy that I was so miserable that everyone hate, even my friend hate me! You are satisfied, right?” I screaming towards him. He look apologetic. He want to say something but I quickly cut it.

 

“Don't ever appear in front of me anymore,” I just walk away. I hate him so much that I think I will kill him if I stay longer. If I can take a revenge on him, if I can make him miserable like me, if I can...then that's the only way I can live.

 

----------------------x----------------------------------x-----------------------------x--------------------

 

“You need to partner in group, 3 person in a group for this assignment. Understand?” All the students were replied. I just nodded as I keep thinking who should I be grouped. I always with Sooyoung and Seohyun, but I know they won't want with me as this day they were not seated with me anymore. I was sitting alone in the back.

 

Still I need to be positive, I need to find my group but yet everyone were avoiding me, it's like I was not there, it's like I'm vanish . No one see me, I grip my fist.

 

'I can do this, I can do this.'

 

But yet when I want to say something, they just ignore me. I try my best and I just disappointed at the end. It hurt, people were ignoring me, treat me like lifeless, its hurt, it's frightening...I am so sad.

 

I don't know how lonely I was, eating alone, studying alone, walking alone, talking to myself, there's no one beside me...I feel so terrible..it hurt...it's really hurt...my life is empty.

 

As I'm here eating alone after being scold by the lecturer because don't have a group, I just try to explain but he don't want to listen. It's really hard. I'm eating lifeless, I don't know if this ever consider to be called eating. I'm all alone and its suffocating.

 

'If I can make him miserable as me, If I could...then I won't be ungrateful anymore..if I could, how I wish this semester will end soon...Omma..Appa...I miss you so much,' I hold my tears.

 

“Why you here alone?” the sudden greet make me shock. Almost chocked, It's Heechul. How annoying. He try being nice to me since that day, he must be feel guilty. I just ignore him.

 

“Hey, It's look delicious,”

 

“It just a sandwich,” I said coldly. He smiled.

 

“You talk to me!” He grinned. I just ignore him.

 

“Hey Sica, I'll always be there for you, so don't be sad.”

 

“What's with you, I never sad and if I sad that's all because of you,”

 

“Then, let me be the one that make you happy,” I was stunned with his word. Maybe because all the loneliness I have been through I feel a bit hope to being cared by people. I was speechless.

 

I don't know how many time he keep clinging to me, apologize to me, always accompany me, always be there for me that I was so comfortable with him. I feel safe as someone care about me. I don't know since when I feel like this. I feel happy with him even I don't show it, just keeping my poker face. Maybe because I don't want to look weak, after all I hate him even I doubt with my feeling. But I can't, all that happen it because of him.

 

I won't let myself waver, maybe it's a chance, a chance to make him miserable. I have this thought that I would take his kindness to take a revenge on him but why I couldn't do that?

 

----------------------x----------------------------------x-----------------------------x--------------------

 

“Hey, this perfume smell nice,” He said to me.

 

“It worst,” I replied coldly. He pouted.

 

“Then how about this...It's my favorite!” He said cheerfully. I try to smell it, I make a face.

 

“I hate it,” Then I try another perfume and it smell great, it smells nice, I have a safe feeling on it.'What?”

 

“Try this...” I show it at him.

 

“It's not my favorite” he make dissatisfying face.

 

“Then, Ignore it,” I pouted and walk away.

 

“Okay, I'll take it because I like you,” He said and paying the perfume. I was stunned there, 'Like?” I look at him and then walk away.

 

“Hey, don't leave me,” He quickly follow me, We spending time together, I don't ever remember why I just agree following him but yet this moment I feel happiness. The longing feeling I was hoping, this feeling I had. What is it? And what with his like? Why my heart beating so fast when I was with him. What's wrong with me?

 

----------------------x----------------------------------x-----------------------------x--------------------

 

I was waiting for Heechul to eat together with me. I don't know since when we were always eat together, it;s like a duty to me to wait for him everyday. Even with that, it totally make my day. I have this feeling that he maybe he like me? Maybe but why would he like me? Maybe he is just sympathy with me? There's lot in my mind but I just still want to cherish this moment.

 

'Should I still take a revenge at him?”

 

“Hey !” There's stood two girl facing me with hatred. I just ignore them but yet they coming towards me picking a fight.

 

“Hey, what's with you?” I said coldly.

 

“What's with me? It was what's with you?” She said as looking at me hateful. This is annoying. I don't ever know this girl.

 

“Don't be misunderstand because Heechul is care about you, he is just pitying with you. He will never like a mean girl like you.” the another girl shouted to me.

 

'Even know I realize that but it still painful know the truth'

 

“What? Are you jealous?” I said mocking them.

 

“Why would we jealous, we just don't want you too carried away with Heechul attention towards you, You ” This girl really annoying me.

 

“For you information, I don't waver with all the attention he gives. Furthermore, he is the one that like me. Oh no...It's actually love. He love me,” I don' why I was so courageous too say it out loud.

 

“What? No way he like you,” they yelled. I laughed.

 

“Pity you...being stupid all this time. But the more pity is Heechul, he loves me so much that he don't realize, I just toy with him. You're all stupid. This is just my little revenge to him.” I smirked.

 

“You, how dare you....,” They look so annoyed.

 

“I will crush his love that he will miserable forever,” I said it loudly.

 

“Ah Heechul,,,did you heard it?” The girl sudden said,

 

'Wait, when he was here?' I quickly turn my back. He was standing there with a painful look. I was speechless.

 

'Oh God, I never expect this. I..What should I do?' I just keep my calm.

 

“Glad you heard it, so no more time to waste anymore,” It hurt as I say it. I think I will cry anytime. I quickly want to go away. I grip my fist and clenching my teeth as my heart is hurt. I just pass him but he quickly grip my hands.

 

He is still looking down and keep tighten his hold, I was shaken with his action.

 

“It's true? You just toy with me?” he asked with a weak voice. It's so painful to look. No..I'll waver...no...I just hurt him,,,what should I do?

 

“Yes,” I said firmly after gather all my courage. Why I'm being like this? I don't know, it's hurt me much more.

 

“But I Love you,” he said with his shaky voice. My heart will burst if I stay any longer, I just push his hands away and leaving him alone.

 

The tears fall down as much step I walk away from him...I love him too but why would it end like this. Why it should be like this. What's wrong with me?

 

“You're evil...mean...demonic...devilish....black-hearted”