Haesica III : Blooming feeling :)
Our love moments : One-shot collection : Jessica's story
Last Chapter : At the end of rainbow, you'll see a happiness.
'What is this feeling?' Jessica keep thinking since last night, Kris words keep repeating in his mind. She really lost since she heard that words from Kris.
'I don't know why I'm being confused like this,' She just frown.
"Hi, Jessica," Kris greet her happily. He just suddenly popped out of nowhere and grind at her. She just stunned there, lost all her words.
"Hi,..." She stuttered and feeling a bit shy. Jessica quickly looking away from him. Kris just realized some thing wrong with her just by looking at her action. Always being worried about Jessica is just like an usual habit for him.
"Are you sick?" He asked as his right hands is on her forehead, she suddenly blush, aware that how close they are right now.
"I'm okay," she stuttered again and quickly brush his hand away.
"Good," He just smile brightly and her heart is in miserable.
Not far away from them, the one who keep cleanching his fists is Donghae. He feel uneasiness, he felt helpless and its bother him so much that his all day is gloomy. It's like he will burst mad anytime at that moment. His heart hurting just by looking at them. His eyes just keep looking at them and his face is bitter.
'It's hurting, my heart is hurting,' It keeps repeating in his mind.
Yoona who was awared with changes of her boyfriend all day, feel scared. She is anxious and unsecured with all that had happening. His heart is hurt and her eyes a bit teary when thinking all bad possiblities but what can she do? She can't fool herself anymore. She gather all her courages to say something and for stopping Donghae being this sad all away. He is not himself anymore, and she is death worried.
"Donghae, why are being like this?" She hold his hands tightly. Donghae look at her, he almost forget about Yoona. He gasped, realize how unfair he is, ignoring his girl all this time.
"Huh, what. Nothing," he just replied shortly and giving her, his assuring smile but of course she is not buying it. She frustrated. She can't hold it anymore or any longer.
"Do you love her?" Finally she said it even it is hurting. She can't look at him as she bites her lips. Donghae was stared blankly at her, he keeps blinking his eyes and take a time to answer it.
"What are you saying, she is my best friend," Even himself is not sure either.
"The way you act towards her is not just a friend, it's more than that. Your action, all of that...what is the meaning behind of it?" He can see how sad she was and he feel bad.
"I just worried she is being trick by that stranger, we barely known him. We can't trust him yet," he said earnestly.
"It's not, it's different. It's not just worried, it's more and it is really weird. You fool, that's not a feeling you should have if she just a mere friend, Are you stupid?" Yoona yelled frustrated.
"Is it. Yoona, it's really not like you think,..." He try to coax her as he saw her eyes starts b with tears.
"Really?" The tears slowly said down to her lips as she was facing Donghae who is speechless that time. She just let her tears fall as it just make her cry out more. Yoona just walk away and leaving Donghae alone.
'I love you more than anyone in this world but I don't know what to do, my selfish heart can't let you go but no matter what I say, I can't hold you tightly anymore. I'm really frustrated now...what should I do? I'm dying alone here, in this tangled feeling. I want you to become mine, my selfish heart want to hold you more but what can I do? It just keep hurting me in the end. My hurtful feeling, could it be gone if I let you go?'
"Kris, I'm sorry. I can't do this. The only one I love is Donghae, and he will always be the only one for me. Even if heaven divide us, he will always be the one for me. My love has choosen him and I never regretted. So..." Jessica said confidently. Even she feel a bit confused now, she know his heart won't change. It's only belong to Donghae.
"I know," Kris just cut her, its hurt more when hearing she said that. Jessica was stunned. He just smiled and hold her shoulders with a bright smile.
"That's why I'll help you," she just stared at him.
"Why?" She asked naively, clueless with Kris real feelings.
"Because I'm you're cupid," he grinned.
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"What's wrong with me?" He shout again at that beach for a few times, he want to let it go all his frustrated feeling since yesterday. The soft sea breeze and peaceful sound of waves just the only one who accompany him and at the same time entertain him. He just doesn't know what to think anymore, he just keep sighing. He just don't care anymore, he just want to think his feeling right now. Being bottle up like this, is really not him at all. What is Yoona saying really hit him this time.
'I love Jessica?' He keep questioning himself.
'Why do I just realize it just now? It is really true? I never thought her like that, she is my best friend; the one that I always cherished. She always be with me no matter what happen... She is really special for me...the important person in my life. I really like her so much that I want her always be with me. I can't live without her. So it is not just a friend anymore? But why I am the only feel like this. How about Jessica?'
'You, my heart. Why you are being like this? Why are you being crazy like this?'
'What if she turned me down? I really can't lose her' Donghae sighed again, he don't have any confidence after all has happen. His eyes captured something and it was Jessica. She was smiling happily and holding tightly to Kris. His heart ache, his mind is spinning and his eyes twitch just by looking at them.
'Why you being so happy while I'm hurt this badly?'
"It's Donghae, we should greet him," Kris appointed at him. Jessica's smile died, she worried about what would Donghae react seeing them like this, she restless as looking at him.
Donghae just stare at them with no expression face. Kris urged Jessica to walk together with him towards Donghae. She just following him and Kris quickly hold her hands tightly and gives her assuring smile. She nodded and walked confidently.
"Morning, Donghae!" Kris greet cheerfully. Donghae just ignore him and stare at Jessica.
"What are you doing here...alone? Where is Yoona?" He asked.
"It's not your bussiness!" Donghae replied coldly and glare at Kris. He really hate this boy, everything about him irritating him so much. He was looking at their holding hands and he was envious. He break away their hand spontaneously, feeling hurt just seeing it really make him miserable. Both of them was shocked with Donghae sudden action.
"Don't do this, Jessica!" His voice keep raising and he stare at her. Jessica was startled and frozen. Kris who is watching it feeling bad.
"Why?" He asked Donghae directly.
"Because I don't like it," Donghae yelled.
"Just because you don't like it, why would she should listen to you?" Kris asked back.
Its look like will be a fight soon as both of the boy glare at each other fiercely. Jessica was awared with all this, quickly pulled Kris away. Donghae wast furious but before she leaves, she turn her back and facing him.
"Donghae, what is wrong with you? You are just my friend. You don't have any right to control me. Who are you?" She bite her lips and quickly go away and left heart broken Donghae.
"Jessica, are you fine?" Kris asked while he can see how worried she is right now.
"What should I do? Its hurt seeing him like that, but at the same time why I feel happy when he was jealous? It make my hope grow bigger, it's okay to feel like this?" She asked curiously. She was already tired with all waiting and longing and with this tiny of hope make her happiness shines so radiant.
"It's okay, it just showing his real feeling. He will realize soon, the one that he love is you." Kris just give a faint smile while Jessica just smile brightly.
'Forget that person, I'm here...don't you see me?' He just staring at her while his own heart keep hurting.
'This selfish feeling, please go away. I just want to see her happiness because I can't bear watching her painful love and it was a mutual feelings, both of them..'
"Because I love him so much, I want to stay forever with him, I just can't give up this love" she smiled happily.
'It's hurt when I look at you, I fall short of breath just because of you,'
Donghae who just wandering alone since last met with Jessica is really hopeless, he lost with his own feeling, feeling hurt with what Jessica said. Being trouble since then, he just lost everything, no one in his side and it make him break.
'Am I just friend for you?'
The summer vacation that all his friends join is doesn't have any effect to heart broken Donghae. It feel meaningless, he is in his own world.
' I lost my mind, I'm going crazy, I can't even say anything about my feeling,'
"Why are you being hesitating? You fool, you're killing me." Yoona said firmly as she know what is exactly happen. Donghae just stare blank at her.
"Yoona," he called her name and with this sad feeling. He felt a guilty lingering towards her.
"Are you a fool? Do I need to tell you again even its hurting me?"
"Huh?"
"Stupid! Why you being waver like this when you already realize your feeling? Do I need to remind you again? Are you a coward? Why are just give up like this. Just tell her"
"Yoona, I'm sorry...I...I...,"
"I know. Just go or else you will regret. If not I won't let you go," she tried her best to encourage him even it really hurt.
"Thanks, my feeling towards you is really sincere. I really like you...," he feel grateful towards her.
"Just go,"
He smile and quickly ran away. She was really holding her tears right now, being stupid like this just for to end this crazy love and tangled feelings.
'My b tears, my hurtful feeling still keep longing for him but I would end it like this. I would let you go because it is the best for all of us and I'm really tired being feeling ensecure with our love. Its not I'm easily give up, it just I know...at the end it will be like this and I won't get anything, only more pain If I only keep holding you any longer. Even I really want to hold you more, I just can't' She quickly wipe her tears.
'Im Yoona, you need to be strong. Love is beautiful even If some times it make you really happy, and either it will hurt you this deep,'
Donghae was keep running and searching for her, the one that he always loved which he just realize finally now.
'I'm a real fool, I'm a blind because I don't see you before, I hope it still not to late because I just realize my real feeling, I don't realize my thumping heart when I with you, what happen to me, you and me...its more than just a friendship! I'm sure with my feeling even If I'm the only one feel this. It's okay because I love you and I won't regret'
His eyes just can see one person and it was Jessica. He feel trembling as he closer to her who is just stroll alone at the beach.
"Jessica," he called her. She was just looking at him, who still paint, gasped for more air. She was clueless.
"Donghae, why?"
"Just listen to me," he was facing with her face to face and holding her shoulder.
"I hope it still not to late, I love you Jessica, I really love you...I know I just realize it but I know this will be the only love for me because I can't live without you," she gasped hearing this and her eyes starts to wet.
"I don't know why I become crazy like this but I'm sure because I know you're always in that place, my only heart is beating for you. My heart won't change, I just need you next to me, I love you even If you're not looking at me, I only love you. I will give you all my love, you're someone that really special to me. You're my only love, I will cherished you forever. I guess I really loved you a lot. Even If I'm the only one feel like this, its okay because I will always be there for you. I just want you to know my feeling," he said firmly while looking at her lovingly.
"You," Jessica said as she look down and only God know her feeling this time. Her tears slowly fall. Donghae was panicked when he saw it.
"I'm sorry If it bother you, just igno..."
"Listen to me first!,"She wiped her tears and looking back at him. He just hold his breath waiting for her answer.
"Stupid! Do you know how long i wait for this?"
"Huh?"
"I love you too, idiot! For a long time, just you don't realize it," She smiled brightly and hug him.
"Really?" He still can't believe it, they have a same feeling. Both of them feel really happy, it feel like they own the world. Keep smiling towards each other and embracing tightly.
'Finally, you see me...'
"But how about Yoona,?" She asked worriedly.
"She's the one who encourage me to confess, I guess she give us her blessing,"
"She is really kind, we need to treat her better,"
"How about Kris?"he asked with a still feel jealous. She chuckled.
"Ah, he is here. I need to thank him."
"Hurm...what?why?" He was uncomfortable.
"Just wait here,"
"Don't go," Donghae said pleading and don't let her hand go, just holding it tightly. Jessica was chuckled.
"My heart is always yours, don't worry. Okay?" He just smile hearing it.
"Fine, just 5 minutes okay? I can't hold myself more than that,"
"Okay," she smile sweetly and quickly running towards Kris who is not far from them. She can see he is smiling at her, she waves at Kris.
"Kris, thanks very much. You're really my cupid,"
"Don't thanks me, it was because My own selfishness. I just want the one I love is happy,".
"Ah, I ..."
"Its okay because I already know your heart. I'm happy because I loved you, don't be burden just because Of me. I just want you to know, Donghae is not the only one who love you, me also."
"Kris, I'm sorry. I can't do anything for you, all your kindness , I can't repay it"
"I just wish for your happiness, i believed that if your happy, that was enough for me" he said sincerely. Jessica can't hold her tears anymore. A fade, clear crystal slowly falling from her eyes. He quickly wipe the tears, and cupped her face.
"Just smile, please. Your smile is the beautiful thing ever I had seen." She nodded.
'Thanks Kris, for everything you did. I also like you so much even it just as a friend'
"Go, he is waiting for you." His heart don't want to let her go but what can he do, he need to let go her hands.
'Even If just for moment, I really want to hold you tightly.' He gives her blessing smile to assuring her. She smile back at him. Her back is slowly fading away.
'I wish I can see you more..this greedy feeling..how could I end it? Even my heart hurt so much, it doesn't matter If I can hold you any longer. I've been sincerely desiring and longing for you. I just can wish for your happiness , but why when turned your head and smile back at me, my hesitate heart is killing me,'
'You're my one and only the one that I love, I'm happy atleast I had loved you,'
"Kris,".
"Yoona, thanks for helping me,"
"It's not I do anything big,"
"but still you help them,"
"I'm not, I just want to help myself."
"It is?"
"How about you?Kris.. You must hurt so much,"
"It is but its okay as long Jessica was happy,"
"You're sure nice. Now, time to move on. Need to finding a true love,"
"I would just turn down for that,"
"Huh? Why?"
"Because Jessica is the only one I love, she is my true love. I don't think I can love another person," Kris just smiled.
'I can see you smiling but I know you heart is crying. I can feel it, it must be hard to pretend fine, right?' Yoona just sighed as she look at Kris who is slowly move on.
'I'm not the only one who is hurt, there's a person who hurt the most,'
'I promise I'll be the happiest so you won't be regret hurt because of me, thanks Kris,' Jessica just smile as she approaching Donghae who waited patiently.
"Are you crying, is he make you cry? I will punished him," Donghae said eagerly. Jessica just stop him.
"It's you who make me cry,"
"Huh, me? I'm sorry. I promise I won't make you cry anymore, as long I still breath, you will always be happy," he said with a puppy eyes. Jessica smile brigthly.
"You better do it,"
"I will, I will forever stay by your side, spending my whole life with you," Smiling happily together, they were blissful.
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Finally, I finished Haesica story, it is took me a long time to update. Sorry, it feel different to write again after this time but I'm glad I'm finishing it. Thanks to all my readers and all the encouragement. It mean a lot to me. :). . . .
Okay, time to move on to another story...
hwaiting!!!!
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