On the first day of the year, Jongin woke up not remembering a thing, as usual. In fact, he wasn't aware of the date until he awoke his phone. “Oh. It’s New Years Day,” he said to himself. Kyungsoo was still asleep beside him.

He flipped open his journal, curious as to what they’d done last night.

We went to Kris’ party. It was pretty fun. We all drank a lot. Taemin came too. It was really crowded. Sehun was there too. I still can’t remember why we broke up. He was so sick from all of the drinking, so Kyungsoo and I brought him to our room so he could throw up in peace. Then he wanted to go back to the party so we sat with him on the balcony. His roommate came. They fought. It’s kind of funny, when I look back on it, the things they said to each other were reminiscent of Kyungsoo and I before Kyungsoo found out about my amnesia. We were really mean to each other but it was all borne of misunderstanding. We truly loved each other. Sehun told his roommate, Luhan, that he used to love him. I wonder what's going on between them.

Kris and Zitao got in a fight with someone. No one knows who it was. Then ing Zhang Yixing came and ended the fight. Kris and Zitao left to heal their wounds with Baekhyun and Chanyeol.

I suppressed an episode! The way I did it was that I was afraid of the fight that was happening, but then I heard the horrible things the other guy was telling my friends and I was angry instead. So that’s it! My trigger! It must be fear! I should tell Dr. Kim.

The fireworks were gorgeous. They illuminated Kyungsoo’s face, even from so far away. I love him. He spilled his drink, he was pretty drunk. Then he went to go get more, but when he came back he said he was feeling really sick and that we needed to go. Baekhyun and Chanyeol’s room was the closest, so he said we should go there. Kris and Zitao were there and so was Chanyeol, but not Baekhyun. Chanyeol said he was probably back at the party. I wonder why we didn't see him. Then again, it was very crowded.

Zitao said that he was happy he had entered the New Year surrounded by great people. He said he was excited to be with all of us all year long.

He’s a good kid. I like him. I wonder how he knows Kris. I know they come from the same town and are childhood friends, but something tells me they're just a little closer than that. I can't place my finger on it. Oh well, I’ll find out when the time is right.

Kyungsoo is feeling a little better after throwing up and says he wants to go home. So we go home and go straight to bed.

Now that he was all caught up, he looked to his side. Kyungsoo did look terrible. He looked like he would still be sick once he woke up, so he got up and poured him a glass of water, and placed a bottle of painkillers on his bedside table. He also brought out a bucket in case he needed to throw up again.

All of the above ended up being useful.

The first words out of Kyungsoo’s mouth after vomiting and taking the medicine were “I’m never drinking again.”

Of course it was a lie, but one he truly wanted to make true.

“Good morning, sleepyhead,” Jongin said. “How bad do you feel? Do you want me to bring your breakfast here, to you? Or can you go down to the cafeteria with me?”

“I can probably make it down,” Kyungsoo moaned.

“Okay. Take your time.”

In the meantime, Jongin busied himself with cleaning up after his boyfriend. He didn't mind it at all, it gave him something to do while he considered the information written in the notebook. He had suppressed an episode. His trigger may be fear. He was multiple steps closer to a hope of a normal life. He should talk to his aunt about that.

So he did. He called his aunt. He told her about everything.

“Jongin!” she scolded. “Don’t drink so much! It’s terrible for your health!”

“I know, I know, but isn't it exciting? I know more about myself now! Imagine if I hadn't been at that party. I may never have found out!”

“You’re crazy,” Taeyeon said with a laugh. “Is Kyungsoo okay? Let me talk to him.”

“He’s still not really up yet. Why? You want me to tell him something?”

“No, just wanted to know he’s alive. Tell him to call me when he’s good again.”

“Sure,” Jongin said.

He left the bathroom with the clean bucket and found that Kyungsoo had already gotten up and left. There was a note on his pillow that read “Didn't want to interrupt your phone call. Had to talk to Baekhyun. I’ll meet you at the cafeteria. Love you.”

So Jongin went down to the cafeteria with his notebook tucked under his arm and grabbed himself a tray. He found Chanyeol sitting alone. He decided to sit with him. “So, our boyfriends left us for each other, huh?”

Chanyeol smirked. “Baekhyun’s with Kyungsoo?”

“Yeah. Kyungsoo left me a note this morning while I was on the phone saying he had to talk to Baekhyun. I wonder what was so important. Did Baekhyun tell you anything?”

“Baekhyun slept in his old room last night,” Chanyeol said with a chuckle. “Joonmyun texted me saying Baekhyun passed out cold in his old bed. Said he must've gotten so drunk he had to rely on muscle memory to get him home, and his muscles remembered his old dorm instead.”

Jongin laughed. “Maybe that’s why he needs Kyungsoo’s help.”

“Most likely.”

***

“Hey,” Baekhyun groaned when he noticed Kyungsoo sitting next to his bed, watching him with a fierce look on his face. “What’s going on?”

“You tell me,” Kyungsoo said, expression not letting up. “You want to explain to me why I saw you making out with Lee Taemin last night?”

Baekhyun sat up straight. “I- what?”

“I’ve been friends with you for four goddamn years, Byun Baekhyun, I know you don't blackout when you drink.”

Baekhyun was quiet and he studied Kyungsoo’s immovable face.

Finally he gave in. “I don't know what I was doing, okay? I was just trying to watch the fireworks, and then he leaned over and kissed me first.”

Kyungsoo’s face softened just the tiniest bit. “So it was all him, not reciprocated?”

“Kyungsoo, I’m too beat for this right now,” Baekhyun argued meagerly.

The owl-eyed man stared at his friend in horror. “It was mutual. It was reciprocated, wasn't it, Baekhyun?”

“Okay, fine!” the other yelled. Lowering his voice he continued, “Yeah, so it was. I was drunk. I wasn't in control of myself!”

“Do you know how angry I am at you right now? I had to face Chanyeol last night and pretend everything was okay, when I couldn't even look him in the eyes.”

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo.”

“No, it’s not me you should be sorry to.”

Baekhyun bit his lip. “I can’t tell Chanyeol. He’ll freak.”

“Oh, I don’t care. You’re telling him, or I am, either way, he finds out.”

“Kyungsoo please! It’s not like you’re some saint who has never kept secrets from Jongin before!”

“I never cheated on Jongin.”

“Does it matter? Besides, a kiss isn't cheating. It’s just a kiss!”

“Really? So if I kissed Chanyeol right now, you wouldn't be hurt?”

A stray tear slid down Baekhyun’s left cheek. “I…”

“Yeah. That’s right. You would. Is it still not cheating?”

“Please, Kyungsoo,” Baekhyun begged, fully crying now. “Please. I made a mistake. One slip up. I made a grave error, yes, but it’s my first and only offence. I don't want my whole relationship to crumble from one slip up. Please don't tell Chanyeol. Please!”

Kyungsoo stared up at the ceiling in utter disappointment. How could his friend have screwed himself over so royally? “If you slip up one more time, and I swear to God Baekhyun, if I sense that you’re straying even by a millimeter, I will tell Chanyeol. It’s not fair to him.”

Baekhyun threw his arms around Kyungsoo and sobbed into his torso. “Thank you. I swear on my parents’ graves I will never do anything like that again.”

“Get up and get ready. We have to go down and get breakfast before anyone suspects anything. And if anyone asks, I came here to talk to you because I was worried about Joonmyun.”

***

Joonmyun was already downstairs in the cafeteria. He’d spent all night awake, talking to Yixing over Facebook. He hated to admit it but he had sold out Kyungsoo way too fast in becoming friends with his ex. Suddenly there wasn't anyone else he wanted to talk to about his secrets.

And now, already, they were together again, sitting at the same table and having breakfast. Yixing was just so interesting, he captivated all of Joonmyun’s attention. It had never happened before, and frankly, it was kind of exciting.

“No one had the time to get his freaking medicine for him, so I literally just looked it up, and next thing you know I had concocted a cocktail of different drugs that ended up saving his life. Also probably gave him the high of his life, too, but that was just my bonus.”

“No way.” Joonmyun had finished all his food in the span of that lengthy story about the time he happened to have the right stuff on him to save his friend. “Is he okay now?”

“Yeah, he is. Never forgot his meds at home ever again.”

“That’s so cool!” Joonmyun stared in awe at the man in front of him until he realized he probably looked way too creepy. He looked around the room, and found Jongin glaring at Yixing. He turned back to the Chinese man and asked, “Is it true that you cheated on Kyungsoo?”

Yixing looked down and bit the inside of his cheek. “Yeah. It was a terrible thing to