"Yes.” Taemin replied, eyes hurting with unshed tears. “Yes, I am in love with you," he finally admitted to her. The words hurt more than it’s supposed to. Tears were pouring down her cheeks as she stares at the man who caused her so much pain. If it was due to happiness from hearing his confession or frustrations because she didn’t realize it sooner or regrets for wasting a whole ing year trying to mend her heart, or maybe all, Jiyeon didn't exactly know.

"Then why?" she asked softly, frustration apparent in her voice.

"I don't deserve you," Taemin replied pouring his heart into every word. Jiyeon deserves someone better, someone who would stick with her forever, someone who wouldn’t take her for granted, someone who isn’t going to die in six months time.

"That's lame. Try some other excuse."

Taemin grabbed her shoulders trying to put some sense into her head. It frustrates him so much that he couldn’t make her understand. "Look… Sometimes…” Taemin paused trying to search for the right words to make her understand… to make her see that having a relationship with him is a really bad idea. “…sometimes love isn't enough..."

"Try again..."

"I'm serious. Darn it!"

"So am I."

"Please… try to understand..."

“I’m trying, Taemin. God, you have no idea how messed up I am right now trying to understand you. But it’s hard when you don’t give me a good enough reason why I was forced to live a miserable heartbroken life without you. Unless you tell me your reason right now, I will never ing understand anything.”

Eyes shining with anger and cheeks tinted with red hue, she looked so beautiful- a raging beauty with fiery eyes. Taemin couldn’t help but be mesmerized by the sweet girl in front of him. He should have knows it wouldn’t be that easy.

And so he stopped. He stopped trying to reason with her, gave up trying to make reason rule his heart. everything. Maybe it would make more sense if he messed up something which was already messed up from the start.

He pulled her close and claimed her lips for a kiss, demanding, insistent and forceful. Her eyes were wide from the unexpected action but surrendered herself nonetheless. She kissed him back with the same intensity and burning heart.

“You should have stayed in New York,” Taemin said when they both stopped and gasped for air.

“And live my life in misery?”

“Your dad was with you.”

“But you weren't.”

Taemin caressed her cheeks, trying to memorize every detail, every curve and lines of her pretty face. “I don’t want you to get hurt." Jiyeon tilted her head loving the feel of Taemin’s touch on her skin.

“You were right, Jiyeon. I have always loved you. But I didn't want you to feel the same. If there is any chance… any chance at all for you to fall out of love for me, please… try..."

And then the tears went pouring down again. Why does he keep on insisting it? What is so wrong about her falling in love with him?

“I don’t know, Taemin… I really don’t know…”

She knew running away was something cowards do but at that moment she didn’t care. Taemin was being unreasonable. He was asking something impossible without giving her any explanation at all. Hearing those words suddenly made her want to run away. And so she did.

~-*-~

Taemin learned that maybe there really is such thing as fate, things inevitable, and feelings like true love that even through different lifetimes, and even across time, they still remain, that there are things which no matter how hard you try to stop from happening will happen eventually because they are meant to be.

When Jiyeon decided to leave, he remained on the spot, standing in the dark trying to sort out the thoughts in his head.

A minute passed and Taemin still didn't know what to do.

Five minutes passed and he wanted to disappear.

Ten minutes passed and he cursed himself for being a jerk and more.

. That stupid girl walked home alone again. That's when Taemin decided to run after her. His stupid head was coming up with ideas too scary for him to consider.

What if something bad happens~ He shook his head trying to get rid of those thoughts in his head.

Why did he even let Jiyeon ran away at that time of the night? Even if he was a freaking mess he shouldn’t have let her go home alone. He really is a jerk. Stupid too.

~-*-~

He first tried to learn Jiyeon’s whereabouts from Key but the guy was being ridiculous that Taemin knew he would have punched his hyung straight at the face if they weren’t talking on the phone.

"I know where she is but I won't tell you because you're a jerk and you don't deserve to know." Key said before hanging up. Taemin wanted to smash his phone and stepped on it multiple times just to give himself the satisfaction but he realized it would be a really bad idea and not to mention a waste of time.

And so he decided to search for her on his own.

He first went to Yuri’s apartment trying to find his luck of finding Jiyeon there. The place was dark and there is no sign of anyone being home. Still he knocked and when he didn’t get a response, he sat on the porch and waited. Maybe Jiyeon decided to drop by somewhere before coming home.

Taemin waited for hours but Jiyeon didn’t show up. He was getting worried with each passing second.

He searched for her at the park where they used to spend time together but she wasn’t there either. He was already running out of ideas and he was worried as hell. Maybe Jiyeon decided to stay at a hotel. He desperately hoped he was right.

After hours of fruitless search, he called Key once more. The guy sounded sleepy but Taemin didn’t seem to care.  “Hyung! Please… I need to know where she is.”

“Why?” Key replied in between yawns.

“Because I'm going crazy, damn it.”

"Go home…"

"I can't. I need to fi- “ There was a beep and Taemin figured the guy was no longer on the line. He cursed between his teeth before resuming his search.

With each passing minute that he couldn’t find her, Taemin begins to realize just how much Jiyeon means to him and how much he means to her.

Her feelings for him should have faded with time. That was supposed to be the plan. But for some sheer luck (like the-universe-conspiring-against-his-plans kind of luck) that didn't happen. In fact her feeling seemed to have grown even more. So now he needs to fix everything. Jiyeon deserves at least that. But before that he needs to find her first.

It was almost dawn when he returned home exhausted. He decided to ask Key again in the morning about Jiyeon’s whereabouts. If he needed to threaten the guy (Taemin knew some of Key’s secrets), he would. That’s how desperate he is to find Jiyeon.

The lights were out when he arrived home. Everyone seemed to be in bed. He went straight to his room to grab some sleep before he starts his day only to find a figure sleeping on his bed. His heart skipped a beat for some reason. He came closer and realized it was Jiyeon.

Taemin let out a deep sigh of relief after realizing she's safe. The corners of his mouth curving slightly until it become a full blown smile. He sat on the bed, slowly so as not to wake her up. He watched her sleep, letting himself drown at the beautiful sight before him.

He frowned when he noticed the tears stains on the pillow indicating she had been crying. Knowing that he was the cause of it, Taemin mentally cursed himself before standing up and leaving. With difficulty, he tore his gaze away from the sleeping girl and went to the bathroom to take a quick shower.

After taking a shower, he lay on his bed and slipped beneath the covers right next to Jiyeon. He lifted her head and let it rest on his shoulder. She stirred but didn't wake up. Taemin didn't sleep for the rest of the night. Watching Jiyeon sleep is a wonderful sight he didn't wanna miss.

~-*-~

Earlier that night, Jiyeon ran away without any idea where she was heading. Her phone had been ringing for awhile and she had been compelled to answer on the fifth call. She figured Key will never stop calling her until she picks up.

“Jiyeon-ah, where are you? Are you ok?”

God, why do people have the tendency to ask that question when they are not even expecting a positive response? She wiped her tears with the back of her hand before saying, “No. I’m not.”

“Tell me how I can help.”

“Kick Taemin’s for me, will you?”

“You don’t have to ask. I will kick his once he gets here. That jerk has been getting in my nerves for quite some time.”

She managed a weak laugh. Her mind was a mess, making up reasons for Taemin's lie but none of them makes sense. She walked home with a little bit of hope that Taemin would find it in his heart to follow her and explain. She was already too tired to ask and besides she figures he wouldn’t get an answer even if she did ask. So she decided to turn around and walk away. She let the tears fall because she didn't have a choice when they choose to fall on their own.

Taemin loved her- still loves her. That she was sure of. She could see it in his eyes.

She was happy and yet disheartened, elated and yet miserable. Because she knew she wasted more than a year when they could have done so many things together; when she could have been happy- really happy instead of pretending everything were ok when they were not.

“Key oppa… Do you have an extra room?” She realized she didn’t want to spend the night at Yuri’s place crying her heart out. She wanted to vent it out with someone else and Key seemed to be more than willing to help.

“Sure. Can you find your way here or do you want me to pick you up?”

“I’m not drunk. I can find my way.”

And that’s how Jiyeon found herself standing outside the SHINee’s dorm. Before she could raise her hand and knock, her phone rang and she picked it up. “What’s taking you so long, Jiyeon-ah? Where are you?” If 15 minutes was too long for Key, she wondered what an hour would be.

“I’m at your front door.”

She only managed to wipe the last traces of tears away when the door opened revealing a worried Key. She was engulfed in a tight hug and the tears suddenly went pouring down again like waterfalls. She really hates being comforted. It makes her cry harder and she didn’t want to cry. She had enough of it to last her a lifetime. But sadly her tears seemed to have a mind of their own because they never stop falling until she fell asleep exhausted.

~-*-~

Jiyeon found herself in Taemin's arms when she woke up. It was still dark outside so she figured it’s still early. She was on a bed, a bed she couldn't remember being Taemin's (Key made her believe it was reserved for guests but seeing Taemin beside her she figures she had been lied to. Again.)

She blinked once, thinking she was just having a dream. She blinked twice more and Taemin remained where he is, looking handsome as ever (how he could look so freaking hot in the morning, Jiyeon had no idea)

She closed her eyes again wanting for the dream to remain. Surely Taemin lying beside her was just a dream. However, a pair of lips softly brushes against hers and Jiyeon realized this is no dream. The feeling is delightfully too wonderful to be a dream.

“Forgive me?” She heard him speak, his voice deep and sultry.

She opened her eyes and they were met with two pools of brown eyes waiting for her to say something. He leaned down and kissed her some more, this time deeper.

But of course Jiyeon cannot forgive something so painful so easily. She had been through so many heartaches and a simple 'forgive me' can never brush it aside. But then why is she kissing him back and why does her body responds to each and every touch he was making? She can't help feeling betrayed by her own body.

“I hate you," she told him.

"I love you too," Taemin replied while he continues to ravish .

“Taemin...”

“Hmmm?” he hummed in response but didn't stop kissing her.

“Why?” Taemin understood what she was asking and he wished she wouldn't bring that up. But he also knew he needed to give her an answer- no matter how vague, as long as it’s the truth, it will do.

Taemin pulled away but his arms remained on her shoulders caressing and sending shivers down her spine. “In 6 months I…” Taemin paused, choosing his words carefully. “I’m going to leave… I don't want to but I have to.”

Jiyeon didn’t say anything for a whole minute before she opens and replied with, “You have no intention of telling me how or why, do you?”

“No.”

“Even if I begged you to tell me?”

“Yes, even that.”

“Even if I kiss you right now?”

Taemin smiled mischievously before saying, “Sounds like a good idea but no, I still wouldn't.” Then he leaned down and kissed her before she could even complain.

“Taemin...”

“Hmmm?” he let his annoyance for being interrupted show in his voice. He wanted nothing but to kiss her and having a conversation is not exactly what he had in mind.

But Jiyeon wanted to hear it again just to convince herself she didn’t just imagine everything so she asked, "Do you love me?"

"Yes."

Jiyeon smiled. That’s all she needed to know. She decided loving him and knowing that he loves her back is enough. He said six months- six short months for her to love him unconditionally, she didn’t want that fact to dampen her mood.

"Go to sleep," he said when he noticed her eyes drooping and a couple of yawns escaped .

“Will you stay?”

“Do you want me to?” She nodded and he smiled before kissing her forehead in an endearing way. "I'll stay with you. Now, sleep."

She snuggled closer to Taemin but before she drifts to sleep a question invaded her thoughts once more. She needed to ask one last question before she let sleep take over her consciousness. “Will you let me love you now?”

"Only if you promise me something…" She stared back at him with curious adorable pair of eyes. "Never walk on the streets alone at night."

The request puzzled her but she nodded nonetheless. "And don't cry. It's breaking my heart."

Taemin caressed her cheeks and Jiyeon loves it when his palm lingers a bit longer. “Will you still accept me even though you know I’m a big jerk?” he asked.

"Yes, because I'm a bigger jerk for falling in love with you."

-----------

A/N: You know that thing called writer's block? I hate it so much...