They spent the ride in silence except during a few times when Jiyeon had to give him instructions on when to turn left or right- not that he needed it because Taemin knows exactly where she lives and how to get there.

Taemin kept quiet because he was worried he might say something inappropriate. And Jiyeon kept quiet because she just didn't know what to say to someone who obviously doesn't want to have anything to do with her.  

"Would you like some tea?" she asked when they reached her apartment and it was time to say goodbye. She was hoping he would say yes and decide to stay a little longer.

However, Taemin already had so little restraint left in him. It’s like walking on a very thin piece of thread and waiting for it to snap. He knew he can’t stay any longer. "I'm sorry, I can't stay."

Although she expected it, she still couldn't help feeling disappointed. "I see. T-thanks for taking me home."

Damn that look. He had seen it many times before and it never fails to make him feel guilty for denying her something so simple. He’d seen it during their anniversary when he couldn’t spend the entire day with her because he had schedules. He only stayed for an hour, long enough to inform her he can’t stay long. He’d seen it during her birthday and he was late because he had to travel from Incheon to Seoul and buy her a present before meeting her. That day he realized how stupid he really was. Jiyeon never wanted a present. He could have just run to her side and gave her a kiss. That would have been enough. And Jiyeon made sure he learned his lesson by giving him that look of disappointment which he hated the most.

And Jiyeon was giving him the same look of disappointment right at that moment. "I guess I can stay for a while." He said and he noticed how her eyes brightened up. Thankfully she didn’t ask why he suddenly decided to stay.

Taemin made himself comfortable on her living room. He sat on the couch, loving the feel of the soft fabric on his back and remembering the times they would cuddle at the same place and shared kisses he could no longer count.

"Do you prefer tea or would you like coffee?" she called out from the kitchen.

"Soju would be nice," he replied knowing he needed some alcohol to calm his nerves. Jiyeon appeared moments later carrying some bottles of Soju. She gave one to Taemin before sitting opposite to him.

"I hate this day," she said trying to open a conversation.

He knew of course. It was one of the reasons why he accepted her offer to stay. She needed company and he decided to give it to her. Jiyeon seemed to be expecting the question so he asked anyway. "Why?"

"Today is my mom's death anniversary," she explained.

He didn't say anything. No words seemed to be needed and he didn't want to hurt her feelings by saying something inappropriate. Besides he could tell she only needed company and that being with her is enough.

"I was actually happy that I get to spend the day with you guys. Thanks for inviting me."

"I'll tell Key you said thanks," he said because after all it was Key who invited her over although it was only probably to piss him off. She nodded before taking another drink. An awkward silence followed with both of them running out of things to say.

It was moments later when Taemin realized making her drink is not a very good idea. He knew he would be in a really deep trouble when he accepted her offer. Being alone in the same room with Jiyeon… that he can handle. But a half-drunk Jiyeon, sitting across from him, talking nonsense and being adorable with her flushed cheeks and lazy smile… that he couldn’t handle. She was drunk after finishing 3 bottles of Soju and the fact that they were alone doesn’t help.

“It’s weird,” she said. She looked adorable with her hair down, a wave of curls spreading over her chest and back, her half lidded eyes almost drooping and staring at him with interest telling him she was tired but refusing to rest.

“What is?” he asked trying to get rid of the weird feeling tugging at his heart.

“You being nice to me right now… It’s weird.”

“You don't want me to be nice?

“No… I like it.” She was blushing a little partly from embarrassment and partly from the effects of the alcohol she consumed. “Why do you hate me?” She had always been wondering why he seemed to have an aversion towards her. Jiyeon might be dense sometimes but she wasn’t so stupid not to realize that Taemin hates her. But the question is why and that moment is the perfect time to ask.

 “I don’t hate you,” Taemin said, a matter-of-factly. How could he even hate someone he loves?

“You sure do.”

“I don’t.”

“Then why are you avoiding me?” He knew she was asking him things she wouldn’t have the courage to ask if she was sober. And her questions born out of courage very well deserve a response at least. But Taemin doesn’t have an answer to give her. It was more complicated than that.

“I'm not avoiding you.”

“If you're mad at me for crashing my bike into you, I believe I already apologized. I'm sure you're smart enough to realize it wasn't intentional and I warned you to move out of the way but you're too stupid not to even move an inch,” she said while puffing her cheeks in frustration.

It made Taemin smile. He missed having to witness those different expressions on her face and it was nice seeing them all in one night.

“You’re drunk. I think you should rest.”

“I’m not drunk. Just a little tipsy is all.”

“You know there is no drunken person who will ever admit he’s drunk.”

“If I admit I’m drunk right now will that convince you that I’m not drunk?”

Taemin chuckled. “Why don’t you go and rest?”

“I like talking to you. Can’t we talk a little bit more?” Taemin was thinking something more than just talking but of course he’s not gonna voice it out because nothing of those thoughts are decent and it’s just going to be his frustrated-self-who-misses-his-girlfriend talking.

“Alright. Let’s chat some more.” Taemin looked away for his own good. He focused his attention anywhere but her face. He shifted his gaze to his right where there was an aquarium filled with gold fishes while trying to convince himself that it was an interesting sight although he knew watching fishes swim is not a bit fascinating.

When he heard a sobbing sound he looked back at her and noticed the crystal-like tears that were falling freely from her eyes. He only seen Jiyeon cry a few times but it breaks his heart every single time.

He stood up and sat on her side before pulling her into a tight hug. She was trying not to make a sound and Taemin wouldn’t have known she was crying if not for her shaking that gave it away. She buried her face on his chest and he could feel hot tears wetting his clothes but he didn’t mind. Having tears stain on his clothes was the last of his concerns at the moment.

After crying her heart out, Jiyeon finally fell asleep. Taemin realized it the moment the whimpers stopped and the girl in his arms became still, her chest moving in a deep but slow rhythm.

He let himself drown in the ecstasy of having her in his arms. He wasn’t supposed to be doing it. He wasn’t supposed to be there. But he couldn’t help it. He needed those moments to keep him sane. He only hoped that when she wakes up in the morning she would forget it ever happened.

He stayed for another few hours until he decided it was time to leave. Slowly he lifted her up, careful not to wake her up. Then he carried her bridal style to the bedroom which he didn’t have trouble finding because he knew her apartment pretty well.

The movement woke Jiyeon up but she remained still letting those strong arms carry him up. She didn't open her eyes afraid that the wonderful feeling would suddenly disappear if she did. It felt warm and inviting and wonderful. His scent was sweet, and relaxing that she didn’t want to be anywhere else but in his arms.

He settled her on the bed and covered her with blanket. She felt a weight on the side of the bed and realized it must be Taemin sitting beside her. She could feel his gaze on her although she couldn't see him with her eyes still closed.

She felt a hand brush the hair away from her face then she heard a voice saying, "I missed you Jiyeon-ah. I missed you so much."