Tiffany wiped the tears that seem couldn’t stop. It was embarrassing and annoying to cry and smile like an idiot at the same time.

She excused herself to the toilet not far from the cafeteria. She had calmed down a bit. Tiffany heaved a breath as she checked her appearance in the mirror. Her eyes and cheeks were red. She quickly fixed her makeup.

Tiffany didn’t hear the first statement of love directly from Taeyeon. She thought Taeyeon hated her. She almost believed that they were over – done. She had considered giving up for good. It’d hurt so much, but at least they wouldn’t hang up in uncertainty anymore.

 Now all was out from the oven. “She’s in love with me.” Tiffany whispered in disbelief.   

She wondered why did it feel so good to hear that Taeyeon was actually in love with her from a group of nurses. What would she do if Taeyeon confessed to her directly?

Die.

Yeah, that probably would happen.

Suddenly, all the misery and loneliness vanished in an instant. She couldn’t take it anymore. She had suffered for days and now keeping the silence for understanding won’t do. She gathered all her stuff and made her way back to the table.

As if the universe finally gave Tiffany a favor, Taeyeon walked into the cafeteria. She didn’t go to queue line to order some food. Instead, she stood by the vending machine, purchasing a snack and a cup of coffee.

Tiffany moved from the chair and marched her way towards Taeyeon.

The short girl was going to pick up her coffee when a voice refrained her to do so. “Don’t. Too much coffee is not good for you.”

Taeyeon sighed. She ignored Tiffany and took her coffee.

The lawyer forcefully grabbed the cup and tossed it into the trashcan.

“Tiffany, what the–” Taeyeon sent her a disapproving look.

“You’re coming home with me.” Tiffany forcefully nudged Taeyeon’s arm.

“I have work to do!” Taeyeon hissed, not wanting to attract attention.

“Yeah, like you can use your hand.” The lawyer calmly replied.

“Tiffany, stop!” Taeyeon yanked her arm. “What are you doing?!”

“Either you come home with me or find us a place to talk.” She spoke with an authority tone.

“I can’t do this now,” Taeyeon looked away.

“Then when can you? I’m not going to have more sleepless night and pathetically lying on your bed, holding your pillow, aching for you, hoping that you’d come home and finding it’s just a wishful thinking the next day. I can’t have the same ice cream box longer than three days in the fridge because you’re not there to eat it. I don’t want to watch sappy cheesy soap opera and not listening your endless criticizes about it. So you will hear my explanation whether you like it or not. I don’t care about your work. I’m selfish, I know, but I won’t apologize for that this time. I can’t wait any longer. I miss you and I can’t take it anymore. I need you to understand me, I need you to not be Miss know it all when you know nothing. So what will it be? Home or somewhere private in this building?” She finished her rant with her hands on her hips.  

Taeyeon was stunned. She blinked rapidly to process what Tiffany just say.

“You’re very slow as a surgeon to decide something that simple.” Tiffany remarked. She was getting impatient by Taeyeon’s act.

The thing was, it wasn’t simple. It was complicated. Sure, her heart was longing for Tiffany, she couldn’t deny that Tiffany’s present – every time they met even though just a moment in the past five days could lift up her mood drastically. But her brain that played the main role of her logic said it was a big no to re-do the same mistake she once made at all cost. 

Taeyeon was torn.

“Taeyeon-ah.” Tiffany called out softly.

“Home.” The surgeon finally spoke. She shut down the negative voice and trusted her instinct instead. “I’ll go get change, you wait here. We’ll go home together.”

-----

“Ice cream can always make you feel better.” Tiffany offered a bowl of ice cream for Taeyeon but the latter shook her head, saying she wasn’t hungry. Tiffany felt rejected, but put her best unaffected face nevertheless.

“Can we just cut short to the main problem?” Taeyeon spoke emotionless.

Tiffany sighed inwardly. Small talk wouldn’t have any function at the moment. She had figured it out though. Taeyeon’s personality was always straight to the point rather than going around the bush to break the ice.

“What you saw the other day is not like what you think.” She started. “He’s just a friend of mine and there’s nothing going on between us.”

“A friend who apparently so excited because you finally agree to go to dinner with him.” Taeyeon snorted sarcastically.

“Taeyeon-ah, can you not do that?”

“Do what?” 

“Scoffing like that. It’s like you’ve built a wall and no matter what I say is not going to make any difference. You haven’t even heard the rest of the story.”

“Do I really need to know?!” Taeyeon threw her arms in the air desperately. She stood up from the couch feeling overwhelmed by confusion and frustration. She rubbed her face and massaged her neck slowly. “I was in love with this woman long time ago,” Taeyeon gulped. “One day, she introduced me with this friend of her. She said he was like a brother to her.” Taeyeon chuckled bitterly as she shook her head. “Who would have thought I was going to witness them having in my house on the bed that I bought with my own money from years of saving two months later on the day that I was supposed to ask her to marry me.”

Tiffany gasped at her revelation. Taeyeon gritted her teeth.

“She didn’t even aware of my presence that day. She was too busy with pleasure to notice me standing in the doorway with my shattered feeling. We never said goodbye. I asked my friends to gradually move all my stuff out from that apartment. She didn’t even look out for me, no asking around, nothing,” Taeyeon shrugged. “She was always the it girl. I was also surprised when she asked me out first to be quite honest. There were lots of competitions for me to finally be with her in peace without disturbance. I was... well, am not a perfect person. I have flaws and I make a lot of mistakes. One of them was the fact that I’m a doctor. It was really hard for me to give her my time. Well, at least she finally got what she wanted – to get rid of me. She was free and that was important to her. Hurting me was just the way she had to do to make her wish come true faster.” Taeyeon’s lips trembled. She tried so hard to hold herself together. “Sad, isn’t it?” She laughed in hurt. “Am I really not worth it?”

Their eyes met. Taeyeon saw no pity whatsoever. There was only genuine care gleaming from Tiffany’s eyes. Tiffany moved slowly, approaching Taeyeon and cupped her face. Those loving eyes melted Taeyeon’s rock heart in the end. Taeyeon didn’t bother to hide or to sweep away her tears.

“There is no competition for you to be with me.” Tiffany said gently. She brushed Taeyeon’s tears using her thumbs. “All you have to do is trust me,” She kissed her left eye. “And believe in us,” She kissed her right eye. “We’ll be okay, I promise.”

She hugged Taeyeon and let her break down. Taeyeon grasped Tiffany’s shoulders tightly as if her dear life depended on her.

It was a blue afternoon overflowing with new honesty. It didn’t matter if they had to go through the long and winding road ahead of them as long as they had each other to hold on to. 

-----

Taeyeon was tired and sleepy, in no time she peacefully surfed in slumber state. Her breath was steady and deep. There was no frown, incoherent mumbled or nightmare. She smiled in her sleep. She was finally home. Tiffany was her safe place, her sanctuary. Now that she was in Tiffany’s arms again, she wondered why did she even leave in the first place.

Her insecurity became a big bull. It evaporated in vain in Tiffany’s warm embrace. She wouldn’t mind to admit that she was stupid and thickheaded if it meant Tiffany would accept her again. 

Tiffany sang a lullaby. Taeyeon stirred a bit then snuggled closer to Tiffany. She adjusted her head under Tiffany’s chin. She could smell her intoxicating fragrant. Taeyeon opened her eyes and cutely rubbed it, earning a soft peck on top of her head.

“You awake?”

“Uh-uh.” Taeyeon hummed, too lazy to speak properly.

“Want to sleep more?”

“No,” she yawned as she shook her head. Contradicting her own word, she nestled to Tiffany till no gap separating them. She wrapped one leg around Tiffany. It was a weird position since they were on the couch but Taeyeon couldn’t careless. 

Tiffany giggled, “let’s sleep then.” Tiffany felt Taeyeon shook her head again.

“I’m hungry.”