Taeyeon pulled the handbrake and sighed. It hurt a lot more than she expected. She stared at the lake before her blankly silently using all antidotes she had left to drug the pain.

She didn’t cry. She wanted to but she was numb. Deprived of sensation was her first defense mechanism. She liked to be in charge of whatever emotion she felt, to appear tough so no one could break her. No one, including Tiffany could break her.

She stepped out from the car, locked it and walked towards the dock. She took out her phone and pressed its button. The picture of the lock screen ripped her wounded heart wider.

57 missed calls.

31 text messages.

Taeyeon turned off her phone and pocketed it again. She was lying on her back facing the twilight sky. The wind slapped her tired face harshly. Taeyeon chuckled bitterly at her fool self. Whatever happened between her and Tiffany seemed too good to be true. In short amount of time she was lulled by the beauty of a stranger to the point of losing grip on herself.

She closed her eyes pleading every cell in her body to heal faster.  Disappointed. Anger. Sadness. They were fused into one.

There was a tiny part in her that wanted to crawl back to Tiffany no matter what, to hear her explanation, to beg her to leave that guy – whoever he was for her. But what was the use? What good would it bring? She couldn’t trust Tiffany anymore.

Her pager beeped signaling someone paged her. She sighed at the emergency code. She needed time for herself but then again, people owned her. She had to serve them regardless of any situation.

Taeyeon stood up, feeling angrier than before. She was making her way to the car when she saw an old tree on her way.

Poor tree became the target of her fists.

-----

Taeyeon quickened her steps towards the emergency. She hid her hands inside the jacket. It stung more but she had no choice. She rather bore more pain than to show it and have people make a fuss about it.

“Someone page me emergency, where is it?” She asked the nurse at the nurse station.

“I am your emergency.” Yuri folded her arms on her chest. Taeyeon frowned and threw her a glare.

“I’m serious, where’s my patient?” She urged the nurse.

“I – I don’t know doctor, as far as I know we have no chest trauma tonight.” The young man answered. “There’s no consult for you, too.”

“I told you I’m your emergency.” Yuri stated easily. “Where have you been?” She rested her arm on the table.

“I don’t have time for this, Kwon Yuri!” Taeyeon was about to storm out when Yuri yanked her elbow effectively refrained her to move forward. The general surgeon dragged her to trauma room number 3 as she closed the door and window in a swift movement.

“Tiffany is worried sick!” She hissed at the short doctor. “Where have you been?!”

“I’m going to say it once and I’m not going to repeat myself. Mind your own business.” She empathized each word harshly.

“She called me, sobbing, choking on her tears asking whether I know where you are. Don’t you care about her?!” She kept her voice low but it was getting harder since Taeyeon was too stubborn.

“DOES SHE EVEN CARE ABOUT ME?!” Taeyeon yelled, Yuri smothered by reflex.

“Don’t yell.” She said lowly. “There are people outside.” Yuri reminded her. “Let’s talk properly, okay? I’m going to release you know. Don’t do anything stupid and draw attention.” She slowly freed her grip.

Yuri increased her brow when she saw Taeyeon wiped using her shoulder instead of her hand. “What happen with your hand?”

“Nothing,” Taeyeon stepped back.

“Taeng…”

“I’m tired, Yul. I really don’t want to talk about this.” She sighed as she leaned on the wall.

“What happened?” Yuri asked softly. “You know you can always talk to me.”

A knock on the door interrupted, “Dr. Kwon, multiple blunt injury is coming in three minutes.” Someone informed from outside.

“I’ll be right out,” Yuri replied right away. They could see the informant’s shadow walked away. “We’re not done talking. Wait here, don’t disappear.” Yuri ordered sternly.

When Yuri was out of the room, Taeyeon pulled her hands out of her pocket and examined it closely. Her right hand didn’t feel like it broke, but the pain was no joke. She then opened the shabby tissue paper on her left hand, holding her breath at the sight of the deep cut on her skin. She barely could move it. It surely won’t look pretty if it didn’t get a proper treatment.  She searched a bottle of normal saline to clean the wound up.

Taeyeon startled when the door opened abruptly with a bang.

“Unnie!” YoonA quickly closed the door. “I’m sorry.” She grinned at Taeyeon’s shocked face. “Why am I surprise seeing you here when Yuri unnie was the surgeon on call?”

“Why am I not surprise seeing you here, on call, every time SeoHyun is on call, too?” Taeyeon remarked sarcastically as she caressed her chest to calm her heart.

“I’m her study buddy, unnie,” she chuckled. “You taught me to do that,” YoonA tilted her head at the sight of Taeyeon’s hand. “What happened to your hand, unnie? It bruised.” 

Taeyeon hastily put her hand behind her. “Nothing.” She mumbled.

“Oh come on! I’ve already seen that. Let me take a look.” She grabbed Taeyeon’s hands and inspected the severe discoloration, dried blood and laceration on her skin.

“It’s nothing, Yoong.” Taeyeon tried to pull back but YoonA’s grip was firm.

“Did you punch something again, unnie? Are you okay?” She asked carefully. “Should we get you an X-Ray? We have to suture this one.”

“I don’t think my right hand is broken but my left hand, I don’t know.” Taeyeon answered quietly. YonnA moved the mobile x-ray and placed it near Taeyeon. She put on the apron and the machine.

It didn’t take long to produce the film. Taeyeon narrowed her eyes, examining the photo. She didn’t find any displacement or broken bone. She heaved a breath in relieved as she hopped off the bed.

“Do you mind?” Taeyeon clasped the bottle using her arm and stomach, awkwardly carrying it to YoonA.

“Sit there, unnie. I’ll prepare the stuff.” She forced Taeyeon to sit on the patient’s bed and took all the instruments she needed.

“Just do situational suture. I’ll ask Sunny to fix it tomorrow.” Taeyeon closed her eyes, trying not to think so much about the needle. YoonA gave Teayeon a heads up when she was about to start. Taeyeon winched when the needle penetrated her skin.

“What happened, unnie?” YonnA waited for the local anesthesia to work.

“Nothing.” Being the younger, YoonA often looked up to her, saying it out loud made her felt bad. She should be a role model, not a reckless person.

The door opened abruptly yet again.

“I swear I’m going to die young! Damn it, Yuri!”

“You’re here, good.” Yuri nodded, satisfied. “Hey Yoong.” She greeted her sister. “Not helping SeoHyun study?”

“She’s doing something on her patient. She’ll call me if she needs me.”

“What are you guys doing?” Yuri peeked from YoonA’s back. She gasped at the view, “Kim Taeyeon, what the hell were you doing?!”

“Not in the mood to talk about it now shut up, let YoonA do her work in peace.” Taeyeon snapped at her.

“At least tell me what in the world happened?” She asked unaffectedly.

“Don’t you have patient?”

“My resident is on it. Don’t change the subject.”

“Why don’t you ask her?”

“She said you misunderstood something. She kept calling me, asking me where you were. She was here couple hours ago looking so miserable, Taeng.”

Taeyeon didn’t say anything.

“Call her, please? She’s waiting.”

“I call it quit. We’re over.” 

“Why did you do that, unnie? I actually like Tiffany.” Yoona started suturing.

Taeyeon shrugged.

“Don’t be stupid and blind when you’re angry. You’re not an idiot, Taeyeon-ah. Explain your anger but don’t act on it. You need a solution not a war.”

“How am I suppose to explain anything when she–” Taeyeon choked, she couldn’t bring herself remembering the horrible scene.

“You misunderstood, Taeng. Let her explain.” Yuri patted Taeyeon’s leg.

“She was going to a date with that guy tonight.” Taeyeon clenched her jaw.

“He’s probably just a colleague, unnie.”

“I’m not dealing with that again.” Taeyeon shook her head wearily.

“Taeyeon-ah, it’s not fair.”

“Did you forget what happen the last time my girlfriend introduced me to her co-worker?! I got cheated on! I’m not going through that again!”

“Unnie, don’t yell,” YoonA put her index finger near her lips signaling her to tone it down.

“Tiffany is not Jihee, Taeyeon. She’s different.”

“She could be alike like her! I’ve been through hell trying to keep alive by living like a corpse! I’m not doing that again, I’m not – I can’t…” she whispered desperately.

“We’re done, unnie. Come on, you need to rest. You’ll feel better tomorrow. I’ll take NSAID to your room.” YoonA removed the gloves and threw away all the used things. She gently helped Taeyeon up. She scooted the cardio surgeon out of the room as she nodded a little towards Yuri.

Yuri exhaled a deep breath, unlocking her phone to dial Tiffany’s number. It was late but she was sure Tiffany wouldn’t be able to sleep. The lawyer had explicitly told her to call no matter what time it was. 

She picked up on the first ring. “Yuri?” Tiffany’s voice sounded tired but full of expectancy.

“She’s at the hospital, don’t worry she’s fine. She’ll be safe with us here.” Yuri intentionally didn’t mention the cut on Taeyeon’s hand. Tiffany already had too much on her plate.

“I’m coming.” Yuri heard noisy sound.

“Wait, Tiffany. Don’t.”

“Why?!”

“I’m afraid she uh–” doesn’t want to see you? No, I can’t say that. It’s too rude. “She needs to rest and you too. Go to sleep, Tiff.”

“She will rest, with me, in our home! I’m picking her up.”

“That’s not a good idea,” Yuri caressed her temple. “Please, Tiff? I’ll talk more to her tomorrow. Just don’t come here tonight.”

“Yul–” her voice cracked. “I need to see her now. I need to make sure. She needs to know the truth.”

“She’s stubborn, Tiff. Let her calm down first then you can talk to her. But not now, she’s going to say something she’ll regret. Please just stay at home. She’ll be okay, I promise you that.” Tiffany didn’t reply. “Sleep, Tiff. I’ll call you if anything.”

The line went dead.

-----

YoonA knocked the on-call room door and slipped through it slowly. She placed the drug and mineral water on the nightstand. She heard Taeyeon said thank you. YoonA nodded in the dark. She pulled the door open to make her way out.

“Taeyeon unnie?”

“Hm?”

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