I still remember. 

Ofcourse I still remember. It was the day I met him.. When it all began. 

How could I forget? 
What kind of bastard would I be if I did forget. 

I held the delicate chain in between my fingers with the locket resting on my cold palm. The smell of rain that had fallen minutes before was almost sickening, not at all adding any ounce of happiness to this dreadful day. 

It had been 10 years. 10 whole years and the amount of emotional pain I felt on that day hasnt diminished one bit. 

There hasnt been one day where he hasnt crossed my mind. 

I still remember it now. The way he would always smile. The way his eyes always had a twinkle in them. The way his hair used to tickle me when we cuddled on those dark nights. 

Goddamn do I miss him. 

I held the chain close to my heart, wiped away my tears and took a deep breath..

Goddamn. I miss him.

Just to see him. One last time. That is my only wish.

I miss him... So, so much...

I stood standing on the front balcony of the palace. A strong wind flew past me, running through my hair and rustling the trees that surrounded the building that I now owned. I had taken the throne only 4 days after his death. I went on a rampage the day he died and killed my parents out of wrath.

It's funny isn't it? 
How strong love can be?
So strong that I would even go through with brutally murdering my own parents.

But that's how much I loved Chanyeol.
I loved him so much.
And my love only grew stronger for him every single day.
Whether he was here or not.

~~~

The Day Chanyeol Died

I sat there. 
On my knees. 
My Fathers heart in my left hand, and my Mothers in my right.
Blood was smeared all over the marble flooring of our living room and my skin was stained with their fluids. I had ripped into them like a wild animal would tear open it's prey.
Nothing was gonna stop me today.

My breathing was heavy and I was sure I looked like some kind of mass murderer. Not that I cared, I had other things to think about.

I wiped my wrist over my mouth, getting rid of any excess blood. I dropped both their hearts on the floor and stood up slowly. I stared into nothingness, my mind blank and my body tense. I walked over to the doors that led into the lobby and yanked them open. I looked up and saw every single maid, butler and guard that worked for us standing there staring at me. 

I stood up straight and composed myself. I cleared my throat and wiped my hands on my shirt.

"I am your leader, from this moment on... I own this palace. I own everything here. I make the rules now..." I stated. I had started to gain my senses and calm myself down a bit. I had to take on my role. I was the King of the Vampire world now.

"... Lunch is in an hour... Make sure you prepare something satisfactory, Chaelin..." I sighed rolling down my shirt sleeves and doing up my cufflinks.

"Jimin, I expect my evening suit to be sorted out and ironed within 45 minutes." I carried on as I walked towards the stairs.

"And as for the rest of you... Clean up the mess in there..." I ordered before swiftly making my way up the stair case and to the second floor of the palace. I ran down the corridor to my left and let my emotions pour out.

I fell to my knees in the dark hallway and began crying. I had no idea how many tears I had shed in the last 48 hours, all I knew was that it was way too many.

I couldn't believe he was gone.
I thought maybe revenge on my parents would take away at least a bit of the pain.
I guess nothing could help it.

My throat was dry and I couldn't feel myself breathing. I was crying so hard that I could feel my eyelids begin to hurt from screwing up so much. I had gained a headache, and I knew that tomorrow I would be all choked up and probably have a sore throat. I didn't matter. I didn't care. I only cared about him.

It didn't add up.
I don't see why my parents took him and killed him instead of killing me. And why was Chanyeol's locket on the bedside cabinet. Either way, I was way too weak to be trying to figure this all out. I was tired of everything. I just wanted to crawl away into a pit of nothingness.

I looked up and brought my fist to my eyes trying to stop the tears. My eyes started to hurt. I was so tired, physically.

I looked forward and a small piece of paper scrunched up on the floor caught my eye. I sniffled up. Was it there on purpose? Maybe I was crazy, but I crawled forward and picked it up. 

I opened it up and it had a small arrow drawn on it. I looked in the direction it was pointing too and found another small, scrunched up piece of paper. I crawled closer and found another, then another, and another. Until finally I found where they were directing me. 

My bedroom door was slightly open and my light was shinning through, illuminating a rectangle across the dim corridor. 

I took a deep breath in. The crying had stopped. I dragged myself up. I walked towards my door.

I opened the door. There wasn't anything different with my room, so why was I directed here?

Then the memories started to hit me. The memories of me and him in here. My eyes clouded up once again. I couldn't step in there. I shut the door. I walked away.

I couldn't go in there. 
I couldn't face it all.
Not just yet.

~~~

I pulled up my tie and sighed as I looked at myself in the mirror. 

What was I now? 

I was always the troublemaker. I was always the one who broke the rules. I was a boyfriend. I was a husband. I was somebody.

What was I now?

A leader? A lonely old soul? A widower? 

I was nothing...
Without him.

I sighed once more and lifted my head trying to stop any tears from falling. I couldn't falter. I couldn't seem weak.

I walked out of the dressing room of the palace and to the staircase that lead to the lobby. I made a sharp turn and opened the door to the living room. I paused as I remembered the events from earlier on and noticed that the room was now back to normal. I shook my head and tried not to think about it. I walked through the room and got to the door that lead to the dining room. 

I opened the door and everything was set out like dinner would be on an ordinary day. Every was standing where they normally would. Everything was back to normal. Except for where my plate was placed. It was where my Father's would usually be.

I walked forward and pulled out the chair. This felt weird. This felt too soon. Maybe it just took some getting used to. I sat down in the chair and straight away one of our butlers stepped forward and pulled my chair in. I used to always do it for myself. The room was silent and our 20 feet long dining table only served one person tonight. I sighed and looked at the plate in front me. 

It was a platter of neck meat. My Father used to always eat this. He used to always talk about how tender and sweet the blood from a Humans neck tasted. I shook my head. Were they all expecting me to just turn into my dad as soon as I became King? 

I picked up one of the cutlets of skin from the plate, my fork sinking into the soft flesh. I sunk my fangs into the meat and took in the rich nectar. I made sure to intake every drop of blood from the slice. I dropped the now dry slab of flesh onto the plate and was startled when a napkin met my lips. A maid of ours was dabbing my lips clean. That was enough to make me snap.

"What is wrong with you people?!" I yelled standing up from my seat. 

"Do you think that I turned into my Father in like an hour? You all know me better than that! Especially you maids!" I shouted. They all looked down in shame.

"I'm still Byun Baekhyun!... I'm still the rebel who says the system and I'm still... In love with a Dhamphir..." 

No one said a word. Some did look guilty. And so they should have. I can't believe this was how they were treating me. Did they really think I was gonna become some kind of stuck up ? Just because I rule the kingdom now? 

I groaned, frustrated, and ran my fingers by the back of my head in agitation. I picked up the plate of food and swung it against the wall. The expensive China plate smashed into fine little pieces. 

"I wasn't hungry anyway." I scoffed and stormed off out of the dinning room, slamming the doors behind me. I know it was only something small. Maybe I shouldn't have reacted that way. But I was way to stressed to give a right now.

I made it back to the stairs and held onto the railings for support, my legs becoming shaky and my heart starting to ache. I brought my hand to my chest. It hurt so much. So damn much. Who the knew I was such an emotional wreck on the inside?

I got to the top of the stairs and crawled to where the balcony was and lean't against the black metal banisters. I bit my lip. I was tired. Too tired to even cry. My throat felt choked up. It had felt that way quite a lot today. My stomach felt like it was tied up in a knot and my lungs felt like they had barbed wire wrapped around them. 

I guess this is what it feels like.
So be so sad mentally that you actually feel hurt physically.
I had always heard about that feeling. 
And Chanyeol actually told me about it a few times.
I could never understand it.
But now,
I'm feeling it. 

How on earth did Chanyeol survive when his parent's died. 
He was so strong.
He was so ing strong. 
And I always thought I was the strong one. 

I lifted my hand and flexed out my fingers.
A light emitted from the palm of my hand and made contact with the mirror that hung in front of me. It shook, and then fell from it's place on the wall and onto the floor. The glass within it was now cracked and inline with my vision. The mirror showed me as I was. My reflection showed me how I felt on the inside. 
Broken,
And no longer having a true purpose.

My physical strength was nothing compare to Chanyeols emotional strength.

I dragged myself up and lean't against the railing of the balcony. I looked down on the lobby below. I remember when I tripped just over here and dropped my drink at the last Ball. I remember when I saw his face. Despite his being soaking wet from my drink, the sight of him made my heart race. I had waited to see him again. Every year, just hoping to find him in the corner of the room or something. I remember when I ran into that guy holding the tray of glasses. I got myself drenched in wine just so I had an excuse to follow him to the bathroom. I remember I told him some girl threw it at me. He must have thought I was an . Honestly, at that time, I was. I smiled, reminiscing back on our early days together. 

Then I remembered.

I sighed.

Was this how it was always going to be?
I'd get depressed and cry every time I thought of him?
I couldn't keep getting upset. I'd make myself ill. 
Maybe...
Maybe it would be better,
If I just forgot?

I shook my head and breathed out. 
I was going crazy. 
My mind was blank and I didn't want to think about anything. 

I aimlessly began to wonder around the palace. 
I think I spent about an hour just walking around and thinking about nothing. 
Literally nothing.
The place was mostly dark. 
It didn't bother me. 
It felt like I'd be spending quite a while in the dark,
Now that he's gone.

In my daze, I walked into a door unknowingly. It knocked me out of my blank stare and brought me back to real time. I held the door handle and opened the door, forgetting where I even was in the palace. 

I was faced with the bright light of my room and the memories from earlier. 

I still didn't know if I was ready. I didn't want to get upset again. I started closing the door again, until I started to doubt myself. Did I just see something stuck to my wall?
I couldn't figure out why I was directed to come here in the first place, so maybe that was the answer? But what if I just imagined and then I started to get hurt again. I had to check. Otherwise the curiosity would eat me alive.

I bit my lip and opened the door.
I was right.
On the wall was what looked like an enveloped. It was slotted in between the wallpaper and the wall behind it. 
I took a step in and slowly walked closer. I pulled out the envelope slowly and saw that it had my name written on it in handwriting that looked very hurried. My breathing had slowed down but my heart continued to beat faster. I knew who wrote this. 
Chanyeol wrote this for me. 
Oh my God...
I was so mad at myself!
Why hadn't I read it sooner! 
I was so stupid!

I sat down on the floor and lean't up against the post of the bed. I hurriedly opened the envelope, both happy and anxious as to what he needed to say. I pulled out the folded lined paper. There was a single sheet of paper inside and it had writing on both the front and the back. I flung the envelope aside and immediately got to reading.

Baekhyun,
My beautiful little Strigoi. 

I had only read his first few words and I had already started tearing up. A big smile was plastered on my face. I knew that he wasn't actually saying anything to me, but this felt like I was actually getting to speak to him, even if I couldn't say anything back... 
I looked up at the light hoping to push back some tears so that I could read it clearly, but it didn't seem to help too much. Still, I carried on through glassy eyes.

I know that you must be hurting right now... Well, at least I hope you are. It'd be a bit mean if you didn't mourn your own husband. But that's not the only thing you should be doing once I'm gone. That's not the reason I'm writing this letter. This letter isn't to make sure that you get upset and cry for days on end once I'm gone, but to make sure that you do the opposite of that.

I guess I better explain why I'm gone before I get into anything else. 

I planned this, for a little while to be honest with you. You won't realise it now, but I hope by the end of this letter you'll know exactly why my death has helped you. I don't wish for you to be mad at me, I want you to understand where I'm coming from. 

I asked your Father to take my heart, in exchange for taking yours. 

I found your Father while you was sleeping and convinced him to take my life to ensure your safety. I know it sounds a bit crazy to sacrifice myself, but you have to be honest with yourself, how long would it have taken him to find out where we was? We were in the same Goddamn palace as him! He would have found us, and then you would have been dead. And I know, the stubborn Strigoi that you are, you're probably thinking that you would have rather died then have to live without me. But I won't take that. Because then what would have happened to the Vampire world? Your parent's would have died and then who would have taken the throne? Another that kept up the divide between the two Vampire races? I wasn't letting that happen. I wasn't letting you die. I wasn't letting this world turn without you changing the world.

Because that's what you're here for Baek. You're here to change the world.

I know how the mourning process goes. You're probably feeling exactly how I felt when my parent's died. You probably thought that your life would never be the same again. It won't. But believe me, if you try, it could turn out to be even better than your life before my death. You probably thought that you'd never get over this. You will. And you can. It took me so long to get over it since I never had anyone to help me get over it, until you came along. Which is why I'm writing this letter, to give you a little help getting over it. You probably thought that you had no purpose in this world. 

But Baek, you're here to change the world.

I never knew what my purpose was in the world either. But then I met you, and I was certain that it was to be by your side for eternity. But then I realised, 
My purpose in life,
was to change your life.

I'm not going to praise myself, but atleast let me be truthful. You was an before you dated me. You thought that you was some reckless teenager that could somehow slip out of royalty and become some gangster on the streets.
But like I've said before,
Sometimes things don't go the way you wanted them to go.

I helped you become who you needed to be, who you was destined to be.
You was destined to rule the Vampire Kingdom. You was destined to make a change.

You are not destined to end up like me. You are not destined to lock yourself up in a house for 10 years and throw your life away like I did.

I know how hard it is Baek and I know how unexpected it was for me to die. And I hope that you know I didn't want to hurt you. That was the last thing I wanted. I wanted to allow you to grow. I wanted to help you fulfil your destiny. And you couldn't have done that with me around you and increasing your risk of having your parent's kill you.

Baekhyun,
Don't feel like this is your fault, or that my death lies on you.
Because although it may feel like I'm placing everything on you and making you the star of our forbidden love story. Because I mean c'mon, when you tell the people of our world our story I've got to get some recognition. Our love story won't go down in history without me having some fame. 

You see, when you told me the story of Kalonice and the pins, I was scared that we would end up like her parents. So I took things into my own hands. But you have to help me too. So that when people tell our story years from now, 
it won't be the story of how the Pins were created,
It will be the story of how we changed the world.

Thats all I wanted to tell you. It has taken me about four hours to write this letter, despite it only being short. I wanted to make sure that every word counted. 

I suppose these are my final words to you.
You really did change my life Baek,
My final year was one of the best years of my life. 

You know what to do Baek,
Go change the world.

I love you,
Byun Baekhyun.

I paused for a moment. 

His words moved me.

He snapped me out of it.

I was driving myself into a pit of depression and I didn't even notice.

It was like this letter had given me an epiphany or awoken me to what was really going on.

He was right.

And although I was still upset that he was gone,

I knew now,

That he had done it for the best.

I looked up from the letter and noticed where he had placed the letter.

The wallpaper had fallen a bit and made it clear why he placed the letter here.

I crawled towards the wall,
I lifted my hand,
And lightly touched the blue and green lines me and Chanyeol had left there years ago when we first met.

I smiled.

My heart warmed.

I took a deep breath in.

It felt like everything clicked back into place. 

I stood up and placed the letter back into the envelope. For some reason I slipped the letter back behind the wallpaper. I walked out of the room, a smile still plastered on my face.

My steps felt lighter and it seemed as if I had been filled with a dose of happiness. 

Maybe it was the closure I got from Chanyeol's words, or maybe it was because I knew what I had to do now. 

And believe me,

I knew exactly what to do.

~~~

Present day

I smiled as I placed the letter back in the wallpaper. I had left it there for the last ten years. I usually came in here just to read it whenever things got rough or I just wanted to clear my mind a bit.

It was Chanyeols last words to be. 
But there would never be a last time I'd read them.

I did what Chanyeol said. Not just for me or him, for our world. 

It started off with scrapping the pins. I then started to give the Dhamphirs more chances in life by making sure that every company in our world employed atleast 30 Dhamphirs. I changed a few laws, got a few Dhamphirs into our Government and other such jobs. And before I knew it, three years had passed and everything was just how I imagined it. People were equal.

I had done it.
I changed the world.

I walked out of my bedroom and smiled as I shut the door. 

"Baekhyun!" I heard a voice call my name. I turned around and saw Chaelin rushing towards me. "How are you going to be celebrating today?! Are there any special arrangements I need to organise?" She beamed.

She followed me through the hallway and down the staircase. I had made her Head of the Cleaning and Cooking facility the day I was crowned King. She has blossomed so much since then. My parents never gave her, or any of the maids for that matter, the chance to shine. And that's what I decided to give her. I trust her with my life.

Thats why I decided to make her next in line for the throne.

"Baekhyun?" She cleared once we got down to the lobby.

"Ah, sorry. I was off in a daydream. Everything is fine Chaelin, just go on with this day as if it was any other." I smiled.

"But you never do anything special!" She groaned.

"Well sometimes Chaelin, simplicity is the most beautiful thing."

"But I wanted to really celebrate... I had a few things planned..." She sighed giving me a judging look.

"Well Chae, Sometimes things don't go the way you wanted them to go... And that's something you're just gonna have to learn to live with." I said.

She sighed and walked off somewhere, most likely to the kitchen to cook up something special, no matter how many times I tell her she always finds a subtle little way to celebrate. 

I sighed in content and stood there just taking in the sounds of the palace.

Before I was King this place used to be silent. Now you can hear the soft chatter of people within the rooms. You can hear the laughter, you can hear the joy. 

You can literally hear the change.

I turned and saw the canvas on the wall that once held a portrait of my Mother and Father, yet now held a picture of myself and Chanyeol.

It was an enlarged painting I had done professionally of our polaroid we took the day I proposed, the same picture I had in my locket. 

I walked over to the wall it was hung on and rested my hands on the oak table that was underneath it.

"If only you could see me now Chan, you'd be so proud." I mumbled.

My eyes trailed down to the table that held the wooden box I was all too familiar with. The box that held his heart. That heart that I had held since the day we fell in love.

I would have been nothing without Park Chanyeol.
I would have been nothing without his love.

And I would never have known that when you fall in love,
You sacrifice everything you can to keep them safe.

And I would never have known that when people die,
You can only let go of your pain, once you let go of them.

I smiled as I stepped away from the table. I looked up at his beautiful face and smiled. My heart skipped a beat whenever I saw him. He was the most wonderful blessing in my life.

"I kept my promise Chanyeol... I really did." I said choked up. I was crying, but crying with happiness in my heart.

"I'll never stop loving you... I'll n-never stop... Missing you..." I continued. My words broke up as my sobs interrupted me.

"I love you... Park Chanyeol."