Yoongi

I didn’t sleep at all. I lay there staring at the ceiling with thousands of questions in my head. How would it continue now? How did Jimin feel about this all? I’ve never been gay, I’ve never liked guys…How could this develop between us among 3 days or something?! I took my phone and typed.

“Why did you…?”

I deleted it.

“Are you gay?”

I deleted it again. I silently cursed at my phone or myself, not sure and typed again.

“Let’s forget about what happened.” I stared at the words. Did I want to forget it? I wasn’t sure. At the same time, it had felt so wrong, but still so right. I had never been so lost in someone. Jimin had felt so close. I cursed at the upcoming memories. And then again, the image of Jimin with the blade in his hand appeared in my mind. Did he want to kill himself? Or just hurt himself? Why? Why would such a wonderful person hurt himself? Would he tell me about it, now? I didn’t think so. After all, we were still Jimin and Yoongi, the two persons that weren’t actually close. The hyung that always teased his dongsaeng, but not really cared about him and Jimin the playful and happy maknae that never cared. But I didn’t feel like that Yoongi anymore…

“Are you awake?” I finally messaged him.

 “Yes.”

“Can’t sleep?”

“Yes.”

“I think we should stop.” I wrote.

“What do you mean?”

“What happened today shouldn’t happen again. It’s just wrong.”

I was so ing nervous while waiting for his answer.

“But it felt right.” he answered. Hell, yeah, it had felt like the most right thing in this world, but…

“I’m not gay.”

“Me, neither.” he answered and I was surprised.

“Let’s just forget about what happened.” I wrote. He didn’t answer. I was awake for the rest of the night staring at my phone.

Jimin

During the next week Yoongi was back to normal. He teased me, but didn’t care about me apart from that. He rarely even looked at me and it didn’t seem to be hard to him at all. It was like those 3 days had never happened. I couldn’t understand it. He was back to normal, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t get the memories out of my head. I couldn’t help thinking about him and I couldn’t help missing him. I wasn’t a person that could easily block out his emotions and feelings. I couldn’t deny how my heart reacted when I looked at him. But I was starting to get angry. How could he expect me to forget about him and what had happened? I hadn’t let anyone get this close to me before, neither physically nor emotionally. And then I suddenly started thinking that maybe he had only been that nice to me, because he pitied me after he had caught me with the blade…Pity…just pity…that thought made my heart cramp and ache.

Yoongi

The week hadn’t been easy. I always saw him playing around with the others, laughing so adorable and I almost forgot to breathe when my eyes wandered to his beautiful lips. He was driving me crazy, but I managed to keep up my act. But there were moments when he did skinship with Jungkook when I just wanted to push him away and shout: “Jimin’s mine!”

That’s so ing ridiculous. I didn’t want to feel this way. One morning, we were all eating breakfast and Jungkook started laughing and said:

“We should make Jimin to Maknae no.1! Last night he said he’d had a nightmare and crawled into my bed with one of his plush toys, because he was afraid. Really, he’s such a child! He clung to me the whole night.”

I was boiling inside…

Jimin

I helped Jin wash the dishes. The others were already on their way to the beauty salon, because it was only a few blocks away.

“You should leave. I’ll do the rest.” Jin said and I thanked him and went to my room to get my phone. As soon as I entered the room, I was pulled inside by Yoongi. He closed the door and pushed me against the wall. I almost got a heart-attack, but I was also getting nervous at the closeness I didn’t have for one week.

“Don’t ever do that again.” he said.

“Do what?”

“Crawling into Jungkook’s bed!” he said with a fierce gaze.

“Do you want me to crawl into YOUR bed?” I asked and looked right into his eyes.

“No…I just don’t want you to crawl into HIS bed.”

“You’re talking nonsense!” I said and wanted to escape his blockade, but he held me back.

“I’m not!”

“Why do you want me to NOT crawl into his bed?” I asked. He moved closer and his hand touched my cheek and then slightly touched my lips. A shiver ran down my spine.

“Because you’re…” he whispered, but stopped in the middle of the sentence.

“I’m what?”

“Mine.” he said and his gaze sent a lightning through my body, but I put myself together.

“I’m not. You wanted me to forget, so it’s ing none of your business into whose bed I crawl!” I said, took my phone and left.