Jimin

'I’ve fallen for you, Jimin…badly!'

I couldn’t get Yoongi’s words out of my mind and everytime I thought of it I felt my heart beat faster and I felt flustered. I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. How would I be able to sleep like that.

VRROOOMM

I heard my cellphone vibrate again. My heart almost jumped out of my ribcage when I saw that it was another message from Yoongi. I took a deep breath to calm down and opened it, but when I read the content calmness was over.

“I won’t give up on you.”

A few days later we decided to watch some movies together in the evening. We brought huge blankets and sat down next to each other. I was surprised when Yoongi sat down next to me and slid under the blanket. He didn’t look at me while I sent him a short confused gaze, but then focused on the TV.

Suddenly I felt Yoongi’s hand take mine underneath the blanket. I was shocked for a moment. When he interlaced our fingers I tried to pull my hand away, but he held onto it tight. I didn’t want the others to notice something, so I stayed still, but I couldn’t concentrate on TV anymore. Yoongi started to caress and my hand and I was confused and flustered like hell. It felt so lovely, but I didn’t want to feel that way. I didn’t want my heart to react that way. On one hand it was a torture, driving me crazy, but on the other hand I didn’t want that moment to end. I had never felt that…loved…before. My longing for him started to grow to a barely endurable amount.

Yoongi

Since I hadn’t had any closeness with him for days it felt like heaven to just be able to touch his hand. My thumb drew slow circles on his skin and I wanted to never let go of him again. I looked at the screen, but my thoughts were filled with Jimin. When my thoughts drifted away I didn’t pay attention and Jimin escaped my hands and pulled away. I felt empty. I looked at him disappointed, but his eyes were fixed on the screen. Like nothing had happened.

A few days later a few of us overslept so we were all kind of stressed, because some of us still had to shower and our manager would come and pick us up soom.

“Okay who’s left to shower?” Namjoon called. I raised my hand and saw Jimin doing it, too. We were the only ones left.

“Okay you two go shower together, there’s no time for two showers!” he said and before we could voice any protest he was gone. I sighed and looked at Jimin who looked shocked.

“Let’s go.” I said and we went into the bathroom. We turned away and took off our clothes. I was nervous. I heard Jimin enter the shower cabinet and I followed him. I couldn’t help eyeballing his perfect and beautiful body. I saw him blush.

“Turn around.” he said. I hesitated. He then turned around instead. I reached out my hand to put on the water and ‘accidentally’ touched his arm. I felt him tense. I turned him around to face me and pulled him underneath the water jet. He looked down embarrassed. His hair started to get soaking wet and I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I took the shower gel and put it on my body and then handed it Jimin. When I saw him trying to reach his back I told him to turn around and put it on for him.

Jimin

He spread the shower gel on my back with soft touches. I caught myself closing my eyes. But when I felt his lips on my neck placing soft kisses I snapped out of it. I turned around and sent him warning gaze. He looked disappointed and it made my heart ache. I swallowed. He reached out a hand and touched my cheek, but I pushed it away. I could already feel my heartbeat rise. I didn’t want to be caught.

“Jimin…I miss you….how can you just leave behind what we had?!” his voice sounded broken. But I kept up the façade.

“What was it? What did we have? A lousy affair? No it wasn’t even an affair. It was just a chain of mistakes, of accidents that had no meaning. You said yourself that you’re not gay.”

He got angry.

“Mistakes and accidents? You hell know how right it felt, how right it WAS! And who cares about what I said.”

He pulled me close until our bodies were touching and looked deep into my eyes.

“I know quite well what I feel and that’s all that matters.” he mumbled. I could feel his hot breath against my lips. My lips started to tremble. If I couldn’t stop I’d be caught.

“Stop it. I don’t wanna.” I said, but it sounded quite weak and I hated my voice for it.

“I don’t believe you.” he said and then his lips found mine.