Jimin

I don’t know how long I had just sat there with the blade in my hand, not doing anything, just staring at my arms. One part of me kept telling me that I’m crazy and that my career and my dream would be ruined if anyone found out. But then there was that other familiar voice that’s telling me to do it again and again. Every day I hear that voice that curses me, lets me down and pushes me into a sea of sadness that I don’t seem to be able to escape from. And during the moment I decided to do it and was about to release my anger about myself, the bathroom door suddenly flew open. I was so shocked I just stopped moving and breathing for an instant, I had forgotten to lock the door.

“Yah, Jimin! What takes you so long? I –“ Yoongi started, but then stopped in the middle of talking. Why did Yoongi have to be the one to find me? Now, he would have one more reason to tease me. The blade slid out of my hand and fell to the ground. I stared at it, only to not have to stare at Yoongi. I heard the door being shut and locked and then I could see Yoongi’s legs in front of me. I looked up. I couldn’t identify the emotions in his eyes maybe I was just imagining them. Maybe there hadn’t been any. Why would there be any? I was pulled out of my thoughts when Yoongi took the blade and threw it out the window.

“Where did you get this from?” he asked. He sounded tensed.

“I just bought them.” I answered.

“Where’s the rest?” he asked, but I hushed. He sat down in front of me again.

“Jimin…” he started. Then I could feel his hands softly taking my face to lift it up, so that I would look into his eyes.

“Don’t you ever try that again! Don’t even think about it!” he said with a fierce gaze which was a contrast to the soft touch of his hands.

“I’m…I’m sorry. I know this was careless towards BTS.” I said, but it was drenched in sobs.

“The hell, Jimin! BTS is not what’s important right now! This is about YOU, your life! I didn’t stop you, because of BTS!” he said and sounded quite upset. I hushed and heard him sigh.

“Now, tell me where the rest is.” he said and his voice was more calm now.

Yoongi

“Stay here, I’ll be right back.” I said and left his room to get rid of the blades. It was already dark outside and I hurried, because there was a part of me that was afraid that Jimin would immediately find another weapon. When I entered his room, the light was still on, but Jimin was lying in his bed. I didn’t want to leave him now, but I hadn’t been that close to him before. Everyone in BTS liked skinship, but Jimin and I rarely did it with each other. I turned off the lights and carefully slid under the blanket to lie down next to him. When Jimin didn’t react, I turned myself side wards to have more space. Our backs were touching. I closed my eyes, but all I could think of was what would’ve happened if I hadn’t interrupted him. My thoughts were suddenly distracted when I felt Jimin turn around and wrap his arms around my torso, giving me a back hug. I felt him nuzzle his face into my back.

“Sorry, but I need something to hold onto.” He whispered. I thought about the meaning of these words until I finally fell asleep.

Jimin

When I woke up I felt something missing. I felt cold. When I opened my eyes, I realized that Yoongi wasn’t there anymore. For a moment, I thought that it had only been a dream, but it had felt too real. When I looked around, I saw Jungkook lying in his bed being sound asleep. I carefully left my bed and left the room. I could already hear the others’ laughter in the kitchen. When I entered the kitchen Jin had already prepared a huge breakfast. Hoseok and Namjoon were laughing their asses off and V was just leaning on Hoseok’s shoulder being still half-asleep. When I was about to greet everyone, Yoongi passed me and entered the kitchen.

“What’s up guys?” he said and smiled, but he looked quite tired and still sleepy. He sat down at the table and I finally sat down too. Yoongi started to eat and I just watched him to get any reaction to know whether it had really only been a dream, but Yoongi didn’t look at me once, he just acted as ever. He didn’t care about me as ever. My appetite was completely gone. I just watched the others play around.

“Yah, Maknae no.2! If you don’t eat, you’re going to stay this short forever.” I heard Yoongi say in a husky and sleepy tone. He put some food on my plate and I looked up. Our eyes met for a moment, and I thought I saw some worry in his eyes, but he then just continued eating and started to talk to Namjoon, but in the end I did eat a little bit.