TOMORROW. [M]

by InfinityRhapsodyl

angst, apocalypse

The world is devastated after a long war againts Magnum, a alien race that came and destroyed us. And Sena is a survivor, been through a lot since she was a little girl, she learned to be a tough girl, well, at least looks like one.
She's now living a good life and was about to get married with her perfect fiancee when suddenly people from her past appeared and turned her life upside down.
Her secrets slowly revealed, every single stories that started with TOMORROW.

Title: 6/10

This title seems very unappealing for a reader’s first impression. I usually prefer titles with two or more words because it gives the reader more of an idea about the story. You can use a one worded title but it has to be unique then. Your story title gave me nothing to think about so it was very boring. 

Story Description: 7/10

The description was good. It definitely pulls you in. The only complaints that I have are a few of the sentences, the dialogue, and the character description for Sena. 

I got what you were trying to show in the description, but some of the sentences were not worded correctly. Some suggestions I have is to read the whole entire thing out loud because it helps to catch those mistakes. For example, "...she decided to not losing anyone again after the tragic death of her older brother " should be changed to ".... she decided that she wasn't going to lose anyone again after the tragic death of her older brother." 

The dialogue to me was not needed. Usually authors to put sections from the fanfic to make the reader want more, but the section you've posted did not do the job.

If you are going to do a character description, do the main characters or most of the characters too. It just seemed random to see Sena's character description and not anyone else’s. You should have introduced her in the fanfic just like everyone else. 

Graphics: 5/5

Grammar / Vocabulary: 15/20

The vocabulary was fine. It was the grammar that really hit you hard here. You switched back and forth between tenses a lot. Similarly to the description, some of the wording was just arranged weirdly. 

Story plot: 24/25

I have to say, this story actually captured my attention. I thought everything was well organized and thought out. Each chapter had a clear topic. However some events just seemed to be added roughly without any smooth transition.

Characterization: 9/10

Each and every character had a personality. However some of the character's background were not explained thoroughly. I know that you posted more information about them on the bottom of the chapter, but you should really put that information in the story itself.

Creativity: 10/10

It was nice to read a fanfic that differs from other fanfics. As far as I've read, there were no clichés and little scenes that I could predict. 

Overall Enjoyment: 9/10

Not put in any grade or anything, but the physical formatting of the fanfic made it hard to read. It felt like everything was clumped together. Overall, I thought it was a really interesting fanfic to read. 

Overall Grade: B