Hamartia

by marvelark

mystery, romance, supernatural

It's about a girl who has a supernatural gift where she can heal herself, but also cause destruction and harm to other people if she wanted to. She never felt pain in her whole life, that was until she touched a boy who she had risked her life saving.

Title: 8/10

I usually like the stories that I've read to have at least two words in the title. That way it gives the reader more of an idea of the story that they are reading. Hamartia means a fatal mistake that the main character is going to make right? So I'm assuming that the m.c. would make a decision that would lead to his or her downfall. So in a way your one-worded title was short, but it had some great meaning to it too.

Story Description: 7/10

I thought that the quote and the description was really great. However the formatting of the description really annoyed me. Could you put the quote and the description of Joeun one the same side? One sentence was also a smaller size then the others. You also used different tenses for it too. 

Graphics: 5/5

Grammar / Vocabulary: 18/20

Not a lot of mistakes but a few that could be easily fixed. I noticed that some words were misspelled, some sentences had different tenses then others, and some sentences were run-on. 

Story plot: 21/25

I really liked the Before and After scenes because they really connected together and brought the story into this nice flow.  It was a great way to make the before scenes seem like a mystery to make the reader anticipate every update of the story. 

Characterization: 7/10

The character's personalities were nice but also predictable. I predicted that Jongin would be the bad boy while Kyungsoo would the nice bff to depend on. The only thing that I liked was how Joeun was the little hero of the fanfic but still had her time to be the victim. 

Creativity: 6/10

The story was very cliché because it held a lot of predictable events. Even though Joeun's power was a bit original, the character of Jongin being the bad boy and how he bullies her but still feels bad for her was already so many in other fanfics. 

Overall Enjoyment: 5/10

Overall Grade: C