As I looked at the guy lying beside me I couldn’t help but smile. It wasn’t because he fell asleep with his hand on my tummy or even because of how cute Taeyeon was when he slept in general. No, my mind was still going crazy from everything that happened earlier, but I was sure of one thing.

I’m pregnant with Taeyeon’s child and I couldn’t be more excited about it.

Like, we made an actual baby… a person!

Ugh, it was incredible to even think about what came out of our love and this baby would only be evidence.

I honestly can’t wait to see the little gem that Taeyeon and I created together.

What I could wait for however is the whole telling our boss thing… We didn’t have to do it right away did we?

Ugh I really didn’t want to…

Okay, so I guess I probably could be a little more excited about everything, but I was scared… terrified actually.

Not of the baby or anything like that… I mean, I’m obviously a little scared of the baby too. This will be the first time I’m ever totally responsible for someone else’s life beside my own and-

Oh my god, that’s a totally scary thought…

I haven’t even taken care of a goldfish before! How the hell am I supposed to care for an actual human being? A tiny baby at that!

Like, what am I supposed to do with it all day when it can’t even crawl around? Just watch it? Hold it?

Omo…

This is a major problem. Am I even capable of taking care of a baby? I mean sure I can watch one for a few hours or so, but to take care of one all day everyday... I wasn’t so sure. I wouldn’t even know where to begin!

My mind started to race as I came up with question after question only furthering my worries.

What are we going to do if we both have to work? We’re almost never home at the same time, hell were almost never home to begin with! Will we have to get a babysitter or would we just take it around with us all day?

Oh my gosh, what if we go overseas? Will it come with us too? We couldn’t just leave it here… right?

I started to worry about all the other situations that were bound to happen and all the happy feelings that were once flowing within me quickly turned to worry… or quickly added to the worry that was already within me I should say.

Would we honestly be able to take proper care of a baby while we both worked?

No, it doesn’t matter if we could or couldn’t.

We had to.

We had to make this work.

I wanted this baby and I know Taeyeon did too.

We created this little guy inside of me together and I couldn’t wait to meet him.

I also couldn’t wait to see just how cute he was, I mean I’ve seen Taeyeon’s baby pictures and if he looks anything like his daddy I might not be able to ever put him down.

I sighed as the next thought filled my head.

I would have to put him down though, and often. While my love was growing for this speck inside of me, my love for my career and performing wasn’t going anywhere.  Baby or not, I don’t want this to be the end of my career. I have so much more to show, so much more I want to do… I couldn’t let this be the end of Tiffany Hwang and especially not the end of SNSD.

So what if I have a baby? Beyoncé is pregnant too and if people think she’s leaving the business because of it they were seriously misled. She might take a break, but there was no way she was done.

She is a powerful force to be reckoned with and I needed to be the same way.

I can come back and perform twice as hard as I did before. Actually now that I think about it I’ll probably be a lot stronger by then anyway, I mean carrying a baby around for nine months has got to make my stamina a little higher or something, right?

Right. I wouldn’t let this be the end. They can’t take out the Nation’s Girl Group that easily.

I can totally be an idol and a mom.

No.

I have to be an idol and a mom, what was I even thinking before?

With Taeyeon helping me every step of the way it’ll be a million times easier too. Tae treats random babies like mini-gods, I can’t even imagine how he’ll treat his own…

Wah~, it’ll be amazing to see. Amazing was the perfect word too.

Taeyeon was an amazing person, but he was going to make an even more amazing dad. I was beginning to worry about myself though…

Would I be a good enough mom?

I had to be.

When my mom was here she was the best in the world and I can’t let her down. I had to make her proud no matter what.

I wouldn’t let her down… Right?

“Tae,” I called in hopes he would wake up. There was no response though. “Taetae~,” I held out longer while shaking his shoulder a little. “Taeye-“

“Hmm,” he groaned. Bingo~!

“Are you awake?” I watched him smirk.

“I am now,” he said with a chuckle. “How long was I asleep for,” he asked before moving his lips to mine.  I didn’t pay any attention to his question though, I had a question of my own that I needed to ask.

“Do you think I’ll be a good mom?”

“Huh?!” His face contorted into the most puzzled expression and again, I don’t know how much clearer I could’ve made it.

“To ou-our baby,” I clarified, as if it wasn’t obvious. “Do you think I’ll be a good mom?” He chuckled.

“I heard you the first time babe,” he responded with a grin. “I just don’t know why you would ask that kind of a question. You’re going to be a great mom to our little Dukong.” I nodded.

I had to be a great mom to our little Dukong. I-

Damnit, I really need to stop calling it that too. While I agreed that we needed a nickname to call it for the time being, Dukong was just ridiculous…

Ugh, the way Taeyeon said it was so endearing though. It gave me all the butterflies.

“What makes you think you won’t be?” I shrugged. I really had no clue.

While I didn’t necessarily think I’d be a bad mom, I just didn’t think I would be as good as I wanted to be either. I sighed.

“I don’t know Tae, I’m just worried.”

“Aigo~,” he held out while sitting up in bed. “Come here.”

I didn’t hesitate for a second to be back in his arms.

“Don’t be silly Fany-ah, you’re going to be the best mom.” While it definitely felt good to hear that come out of his mouth, I couldn’t help to be a little curious…

“How do you know?” His hold on me tightened.

“I just know,” he laughed.

Laughed? Laughed?!

“How do you just know Kim Taeyeon,” I asked angrily. Why would he laugh at that? “I’m being serious here and you-“

“Shhh~,” he said after putting his finger over my lips. “This is exactly why I know you’ll be a good mommy Fany-ah~.”

Huh?

He’s lost me now and he must’ve seen it on my face for he answered my question next.

“You’re very, very protective babe,” he grinned. “Even on that ‘Hello Baby’ show you always tried to protect him, just imagine how much you’ll want to protect our baby Tiffany.”

That was true… I remember very clearly one time when Kyungsan tried to put a dirty toy in his mouth and I stopped him. He started crying as loud as he could almost instantly, which is why I remember it. I think that scarred me or something, I don’t know. I was just trying to help him though…

Ugh, it made me so frustrated.

I probably saved his life from germs and that little jerk hated me for it!

“You won’t let one bad thing happen to our little Dukong Fany-ah and that’s why I think you’ll be the best mom in the world.” I could hear the smile in his voice and it definitely helped calm my nerves a little.

I mean Taeyeon is a pro and if he believes in me I should be alright, right?

“And everything you need to know can be taught babe, so don’t worry so much. It’s bad for the baby.”

Oh my god.

“Is it!?”

Was I hurting the baby by-

“Isn’t it?”

Wait, what?

“Huh,” I sounded aloud.

“I think it is at least,” he replied, obviously unsure.  “I think I saw it in a movie or a drama once.”

One day I swear…

“Yah,” I groaned with a lazy hit to his chest. “Don’t say things like that unless you’re sure jerk, you almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Aye~, see that’s what I mean,” he laughed. “Loosen up. You need to stop worrying babe, no matter what happens we’ll be fine. I promise.” I knew he was right, but it was hard not to worry.

We haven’t told anyone and I can’t even imagine their reactions…

“Omo, do you want a massage? It’ll help you relax~,” he sang before kissing my ear. I sighed.

“Sure.”

“Jinjja?” I hummed.

“If you say it’ll relax me,” I replied. “Why not?”

I honestly didn’t know how much this would actually help to relax me, but Taeyeon was trying so hard to make me feel better I couldn’t refuse… and his massages were pretty good… although I don’t think we’ve ever even finished one before.

Whoops!

I had lain down on my stomach and it wasn’t long until the massage actually began. As soon as he straddled my back though, I kinda wish it hadn’t.

It was like a switch flipped in my brain. The feeling of him on top of me set something off for sure.

I don’t know why and really I don’t know how, but the only thought in my head now was ‘How can I get to be the one on top of him?’

Oh my god, get ahold of yourself Tiffany. He isn’t even doing anything ual. Ugh, that didn’t stop my body from liking it way too much though.

Omo, wait… was this the hormones the doctor was talking about?

He said they would be acting up, but the last thing I would have imagined was getting completely by just a single touch.

He was literally just massaging my back, nothing more and nothing less and here I was thinking about getting him undressed.

His hands were on my clothed shoulders kneading and rubbing and-

“Oh my god,” I accidently let slip out in English.

His hands slid down my back from my shoulders all the way to my hips in one go and a warm sensation began throbbing off the charts in my lower region.

____________________________________________

 

“HUH?!”

She did not just say that… did she?

“Taeyeon I need you... Now,” I could hear the yearning in her voice and didn’t believe this.

Where was this coming from? I wasn’t even trying to get this kind of a response out of her… yet.

I barely even started the massage!

Oh my gosh, I didn’t even get to massage her !

I didn’t have much more time to think about anything though for Tiffany was already pulling me down against her.

She literally had me by the neck of my shirt as she pulled me closer and closer, meshing our lips together. Our mouths were parting and our tongues were exploring and I didn’t care where this was coming from anymore. I’ve wanted to do this all day.

My love for her has grown like no other today and I wanted to show her just how much. She was giving me the best gift a guy could ever ask for so the least I could do was everything my princess wanted.

Tiffany deserved the world.

I moved over top of her and she relocated her arms over my shoulders. Her fingers combed through my hair and I could feel her stomach moving up and down against-

Oh my god.

Her stomach…

Our baby!

I can’t believe I almost forgot!

We can’t go all the way while she’s pregnant! Is that even safe?

It can’t be… right?

Don’t they both go in the same place?

Oh god, what if I-I poke it or something?!?!

A horrible image popped in my head and my heart stopped.

No.

No, no, no, no~!

This couldn’t happen. I can’t hurt my baby.

I quickly sat up, but Tiffany tried to pull me right back down again.

“Fany-ah… we can’t,” I said between breaths. I interlocked our fingers in her roaming hands just to be safe.

Whew~, good idea Taengo. I don’t know how much longer I could’ve resisted her hands all over me anyway.

“Ungh Tae~,” she groaned. “Why~!?”

I looked at her lying vulnerably below me and didn’t really know why myself… She looked so-

No.

You know why you idiot!

Right, right… What am I thinking?

“The baby, Fany-ah,” I responded. “I don’t wanna hurt her.” She breathed out heavily, obviously frustrated.

“That’s not even possible Tae just-“

“How do you know that,” I interrupted. She couldn’t possibly know that, right?

Omo, is it one of those things you know when you’re pregnant? Would she-

“I don’t,” she responded, taking my tiny sense of relief straight away. “But what about all the other times we’ve done it the past month Tae? Please, I’m fine baby.”

Oh my… She did have a good point, but now that I’m aware that she has our little Dukong inside her I can’t help it.

 I felt her squirm underneath me and I wanted so much to give in, but I couldn’t. I had to find out the truth before I went any farther.

“I-I can’t Tiffany. I’m worried now…,” I trailed off. I heard her breath hitch mid-sigh and I felt terrible.

“Really,” she asked. I bit my lip and nodded. I don’t think I could have continued if I wanted to. Now that the thought, and unfortunately the image, was filling my head, I didn’t even want to try.

I couldn’t risk it. 

Ugh, she sounded so disappointed though...

“Fine,” she said flatly. My stomach dropped.

I’m a horrible husband.

I got from over top of her and quickly lied down beside her in silence. I didn’t know what to say or what to do, I just-

“What are you doing?” I froze.

“Huh? Wh-what do you mean?”

Heol… was she mad at me for lying beside her now?

Omo, did she want me to go to the sofa or something?

Oh god Kim Taeyeon… You’ve really done it now. She-

“Are you going to Google it or not?”

“Huh,” I repeated even louder.

Now I was really lost.

“Whether it’s safe for the baby or not you pabo. You got me worried now,” she said angrily. “Ugh, if we can’t have for the next eight months I’m going to be really pissed off Kim Taeyeon.”

Holy… jinjja? 

She wasn’t mad, but worried now too? She seemed so sure a second ago and now-

“This baby will seriously be grounded until its 18 if it stops me from having you for that long Taetae.” I grinned.

Okay, so maybe she was still a little mad, but I could totally deal with that. I was just happy she wasn’t mad at me!

The whole grounding thing however… well, I might not argue that either. Eight months is a long time without my precious Fany-ah. I mean how am I supposed to keep my hands off of her for-

“Well~,” Tiffany asked loudly.

Right! The laptop!

I reached over to the bed side table and pulled it from one of the shelves. I opened it right up and waited for the stupid loading screen to hurry.

C’mon computer jeesh… I can’t keep Tiffany waiting any longer than I already was.

The loading screen eventually faded to the desktop and I mentally cheered. I opened the browser, typed in the question that we were dying to figure out and hit enter. The results popped up instantly.

God bless fast internet.

I chose the first result page and quickly started reading.

The first paragraph was complete nonsense about congratulating us on our pregnancy or something, I don’t know. I don’t care.

I just needed to know if we could.

Thankfully the second and third paragraph actually had a real answer, the exact answer we were looking for in fact. I took a deep breath.

“It says we can Fany-ah.”

“Jinjja,” she asked, all hints of her ‘anger’ gone. She sounded more concerned than anything. I hummed.

“It says we should talk to our doctor first to make sure, but once they say it’s okay it says here that we can do it every day until you have our little Dukong if we want.”

“Seriously? It says that?” I hummed again. “Look right here and-“

BUZZ

What the… Oh!

“Is it mine or yours,” I asked in reference to the now vibrating phone. They were both on the side table, but I couldn’t see because Fany was right in my view. I figured it was mine though. Hyung said he would call me later with an exact time that we had to be at the schedule tomorrow. I knew it was going to be early, but I was a little afraid of how early though…

At least I’ll have something good to think about all day.

“It’s yours,” she said while reaching for it. I sighed.

Here we go~!

“Is it hyung?”

Gah, I really don’t want to have to leave at like three in the morning again. I’ll fall asleep mid-

“N-no,” she stuttered.

Huh? No? Who else would be calling me… and why in the hell did she stutter?

Oh god it wasn’t the company was it? Did they somehow find out about our appointment this morning?

Crap, I didn’t want to tell LSM yet. I-

“It’s your mom.”

Omo. I was speechless.

My… my mom?! Why was she calling me?!

Oh god, this was even worse than LSM calling I think.

I wanted to tell my mom about the baby so badly ever since we found out, but I couldn’t. We haven’t talked about telling anyone yet and I wasn’t sure if Fany was ready or not….

Ugh, I had to tell her though, right?

She’s my mom! Our little Dukong’s grandma!

Oh gosh what was I even supposed to tell her though? How the hell were you supposed to drop that kind of news on someone over the phone?

“Tae,” Tiffany urged while handing me the phone.

Right… I took another deep breath and made my decision.

I looked at Fany and nodded.

____________________________________________

 

“What,” I yelled. Telling her?  “Tae I-,” I tried to interrupt… but it was too late. He had already hit the green button.

“Umma~,” he said happily before switching it to speakerphone.

I couldn’t possibly tell him not to tell her aloud now…

“Taeyeon-ah,” she said back warmly. “You’re not busy are you?”

“Aniyo umma, not at all. Fany-ah and I both have the day off.”

“Is that so?” He hummed. “I hope you two are getting some rest then, Miyoung-ah looked so tired at that award show yesterday,” she said worriedly. “Is she sick?” I felt warm with her concern.

It felt so fantastic to know that Taeyeon’s mom cared about me so much. Even though I was her daughter in law, she treated me like one of her children and I seriously couldn’t have asked for a better mother in law… So why was I so hesitant to tell her about everything?

Ugh! I don’t know, I don’t know at all anymore.

“Yeah, she was really tired mom. She still is,” he replied.

“Well then quit bothering her and let the girl sleep Kim Taeyeon!” I laughed.

Out of all the people we had to tell though, his mom would be the easiest. I mean she already said she was excited about grandchildren so it wouldn’t be too bad I hoped.

“I am not bothering her mom~, jeesh,” he said with a small smile. I grabbed his hand and he wrapped his tightly around mine. “We found out big news today and she keeps worrying about it.”

I wish I could stop worrying about it Tae, I do… but I can’t, I thought as I looked into his gentle eyes.

“Omo, what kind of news Taeyeon? Should I be worried too? Do I need to come to Seoul to-”

“No, no umma, you don’t need to worry about anything,” Taeyeon said, cutting her off.

Gah, Taeyeon definitely takes after his mom.

Heol… I wonder who our little Dukong would take after?

Wow, it was so weird to even think about!

“And you definitely do not need come here. I’m gonna take care of everything.”

I let out a quick breath at his touching words.

I really hoped our baby took after him…

“You better,” she said almost accusingly. I grinned. I knew he would. “Now tell me what’s wrong with our daughter in law before I drive up there and find out myself Kim Taeyeon!”

“Okay, okay,” Taeyeon replied with a grin. “And nothing is wrong with her mom, it’s just… Ugh,” he sighed. “Are you sitting down?”

“Ne, ne, just tell me for goodness sake!” I took another deep breath and for some reason closed my eyes.

I didn’t really know why, I mean it’s not like I can see her or anything… Ugh!

I don’t know, I-

“Tiffany’s pregnant.”

Oh god.

He did it…

My whole body froze.

Why did he do that? Ugh, I should’ve stopped him. We should have-

“A-are you serious?” I looked right at Taeyeon to see if his reaction was good or bad… but it wasn’t anything.

Aish!

“Taeyeon this isn’t a very funny thing to be-”

“I’m not joking mom,” Tae interrupted with a grin. “We went to the doctor this morning and he said she was about a month pregnant.”

No response.

Oh god…

I looked worriedly at Taeyeon, but that jerk just smiled. He brought my hand to his lips and pressed firmly.  While his kiss helped calm me a little, the next sound I heard over the phone didn’t… at all.

It took a few seconds to be able to hear it but once I did, I couldn’t un-hear it.

Taeyeon’s mom was not only upset, she was… she was-

“Umma?! Are you crying,” Taeyeon asked as soon as we figured out what the sound was. I could tell he didn’t expect that from her at all either.

She hummed.

Oh no.

“Wa-wae,” Taeyeon stuttered. His grip tightened and I wanted to disappear.

This was the worst, no. This was worse than the worst.

“I’m just… I’m just so happy,” she said? “My baby boy is all grown up~. You’re going to be a dad~!”

Wait what?!

“Ji-jinjja,” Taeyeon asked quickly.

“Of course Taeyeon-ah, why wouldn’t I be? I’m going to have a grandchild,” she said followed by many, many undecipherable murmurs. “I can’t wait to tell your father.”

While Taeyeon quickly informed her that his father was the only other person she could tell, I couldn’t get over her reaction.

She was happy! Taeyeon’s mom was so happy that she cried… cried!

It felt like a tiny weight had been lifted from my shoulders and it was already feeling better.

Was I really overthinking everything like Taeyeon had said?

I mean she was in tears with her happiness over there and here I was worrying about what everyone would think…

Would everyone accept it as easily as her?

I knew the answer to that before I even asked myself…

“Umma, I’m serious,” Taeyeon said firmly, pulling me from my thoughts. “You can only tell dad, not even Hayeon yet, okay?”

“Ne, ne of course son. I won’t tell anyone… Oh my goodness, I’m so excited~!”

“Me too umma,” he said warmly. “But what did you really call about?”

“Why did I call,” she asked. Taeyeon hummed. “Ah well that is… because…,” she trailed off. “Aish, I don’t know any more Taeyeon-ah, my mind is all jumbled now with your great news. I’ll call you back when I remember okay?” I smiled.

I really hoped everyone would accept it this easily…

“Ne umma~, I’ll be expecting it.” His mom hummed.

“Tell Miyoung-ah that I’m so happy for her and if she has any questions to call me right away, okay?” Tae hummed. “She’ll be needing a mother figure more than anything right now Taeyeon so tell her I’m here.”

My heart overflowed with love and I could feel my eyes watering by the second.

“Of course mom. I’ll tell her… I’ve got to go though, Fany-ah just called for me,” he lied, looking into my eyes.

“Yes, go to her and make sure to tell her okay?” Taeyeon hummed and they quickly said their goodbyes.

The second the call ended though Taeyeon dropped the phone and pulled me into his arms.

“Hey, no crying babe. When you get sad our baby gets sad,” he obviously made up on the spot.

“Shut up,” I mumbled against his chest. I felt him laugh.

“I’m serious though Fany-ah, no crying. It hurts me too much… and there’s no reason for it anyway babe. My mom is gonna watch over you down here and then your mom is gonna watch over you from up there,” he said while holding me tighter. “And with me by your side we won’t let anything happen to you. You’ll have the best protection team in the country,” he said excitedly.

Ugh, only he could make such a sweet statement sound so dorky…

____________________________________________

“Hey Taeng, we’re here,” my manager said from the front of my car. We were on the way to the salon to get ready for our music video shoot today and I might have been taking a little nap.

Okay, so I was.

With all the excitement that happened yesterday and the fact that it was five in the morning, I was still extremely tired.

With a sip of the iced coffee hyung picked up for me and a few fantastic thoughts floating around in my head though, I was able to wake up in no time.

One thought in particular... Wah, I would probably replay that in my head a million more times this week alone.

Yesterday after we had gotten off the phone with my mom and Tiffany stopped crying, I suggested that we hurry and call Tiffany’s father while we were at it. It wouldn’t be fair if we only told my parents.

She was hesitant at first and since it was midnight over there when we called I was even a little weary, but we needed to. I was over the moon that my mom had just taken it so well, so what was a better time than the present I thought! I also figured that if Tiffany’s dad took it well like my mom did, she would be even more relieved. I could tell she lightened up a little at my mom’s support but it wasn’t enough.

She really needed quit overthinking. We had only known she was pregnant for a day and her mind was already going crazy. I was afraid it was going to explode by the end of these next eight months and I couldn’t have that!

Either way, she eventually agreed to call him.

Her father wasn’t overly excited or happy about the news, but he definitely didn’t hate it either. Like any father, he sounded more concerned than anything. I couldn’t blame him either. It was his youngest daughter that lived thousands of miles away telling him that she had life growing inside her. Heck, I’d be worried if that happened to Hayeon and I’m not even her dad!

I imagined that if we had talked to my dad instead of my mom though, the conversation would have been almost identical and that made me feel even better… until he started talking about her work that is.

He asked if we had told the company yet and I watched her face darken. He then asked a few other things along the same subject before asking the question I wanted to ask her for hours.

‘Are you sure this is what you really want Stephanie?’

My heart probably stopped when he asked that for almost everything revolved around her answer.

I remember her looking around at the ground for a while before taking a deep breath. My heart was pounding so hard at that moment I seriously thought that it could pop out of my chest at any time.

Her answer though is something I will never forget.

‘Yes daddy, I want this with all my heart.’

Gah~! I really wanted to shout it from the balcony then. I-

“Why do you look so happy Taeng,” Soo asked shortly.

“How is more like it,” Yul added. “It’s too early.”

Huh? Soo? Yul!?

What the- Wait… I was already inside?

Gah, I know I used to sleep walk here and there, but day-dreaming walk was totally new to me.

Oh well~!

“No reason,” I responded just as short. I figured the subject needed a quick change or I was bound to get more questions. “Why are we here so early though,” I asked.

“You’re going blonde,” hyung said with a smirk. I knew it. I nodded my head to show that I understood, but he didn’t say anything else… Omo.

“That’s it? How long does it take?”

“That’s it,” he repeated exaggeratingly. “Last time you threw a fit when you almost went blonde.”

“Yeah Taeng, you got so feisty,” Soo teased.

“Yah~! I did not get feisty,” I corrected. “I was just a little concerned.”

“PFFFT,” Yul scoffed. “Okay. If that’s what you wanna call it…”

“Hey now, you guys didn’t have wedding pictures to take a few weeks later. You try dealing with an angry Tiffany!” Yuri nodded with wide eyes.

“You know what, concerned is the perfect word for it Tae.” I laughed.

I’m sure Yuri had it just as bad as I did. From what I’ve heard, when Jessica gets angry it’s just as scary as when my Tiffany gets angry… maybe even scarier.

I really did feel for him.

“Exactly,” I agreed.

“Are we getting anything done hyung?” Hanyoung nodded and then explained that they were just going back to their original dark brown and black colors.

“Finally,” Soo chimed in. “I’m not going to have a weird color for once.”

“You didn’t have one last time either,” one of our managers said. That was true. For ‘Growl’ he had a lighter brown color which wasn’t too weird. I mean it wasn’t his normal color but it also wasn’t white or purple or anything crazy…

“Yeah, but it wasn’t like my original color hyung. I’ve missed it,” he cooed dramatically.

Aigo~, he was ridiculous.

The stylist started t in no time and then began the real fun.

“I’m going to start applying this to your hair now, okay,” the hair stylist asked. I nodded and looked at the container she was-

“Omo?! Why is it purple?” The lady laughed.

“I have no idea Kim Taeyeon-ssi, that’s just the way it is. Your hair will only be blonde though, not purple.” I nodded again and tried to imagine Tiffany’s response to this when I see her again.

I didn’t know for sure what she would say, but I also don’t even know what I’m going to say… We’ll just have to see how it turns out I guess…

It won’t look too bad, right? I mean Sooyoung pulled it off… but that also doesn’t mean anything to me.

Oh boy~!

Talk about stressful.

After a while though, all the sitting and all the silence started driving me crazy. I think Sooyoung must have fallen asleep and Yuri was beside me reading a script.

I however, was thinking about how I should tell my members the great news Tiffany and I found out yesterday… but I didn’t know exactly how to do it. Tiffany and I agreed last night to tell each of our groups today, but we never talked about how we should do so.

Aish~! Maybe I should text her?

Nah, I’m sure I can figure it out. I mean I knew I definitely did not want to tell any of our managers yet for sure. They would go and tell LSM immediately I can almost guarantee.

While I knew we had to tell the LSM and the company in general, I wanted to do it when Tiffany was ready. I wanted to do it as soon as possible, but I understood why Tiffany didn’t want to yet.

I mean they might get a little mad and I think that’s what she was most worried about, but what can they do about it?

Nothing!

Actually I figured if anything they might be able to help us out with everything and that’s what made me want to tell them now. Well obviously not everything but they could definitely help. They could add more security to protect her, make more flexible schedules for her, and most importantly get the reporters off our backs.

There were pregnancy rumors from day one of people finding out about us being a couple, what’s going to happen when people figure out she actually is pregnant?

Nothing good I assumed…

I thought though if we tell our members today they might have even better ideas on how to tell the company. I was really hoping that Tiffany’s members comforted her a bit or something too, jeesh.

____________________________________________

“Wah Taeng you really don’t look bad blonde at all,” Sooyoung marveled.

“Jinjja?” He hummed.

“You look ier,” he grinned. “Fany noona will love it.”

“Yeah, you actually look your age now,” Yul teased.

While that actually made me feel a little better, I still wasn’t sold on it.

It was just so weird and new and-

“Okay,” hyung said loudly, pulling my attention away from my hair. “We’re gonna start rehearsing and running through the whole choreography soon so let’s get ready. It’s going to be a long day.”

He wasn’t lying either.

For this music video we didn’t know the dance or choreography at all.

We rehearsed some parts of it like the main points and the gestures we were supposed to use during specific parts but other than that we had no idea. We were learning everything here today.

Due to the set for the MV being so different and SM wanting us to yet again do a music video in one go like we did with ‘Growl,’ I was really afraid that it might take all day.

Once we got started our minds would be all crazy too so I quickly and firmly made up my mind.

I would tell them.

Now.

Whew~, here we go.

“Hey Yul, Soo, when you two get a second I need to talk to you,” I informed.

“Ah ne,” Soo said quickly, carrying over the snack he was munching on. “What’s up Taeng?”

“Let’s wait on Yul you shikshin. Aish,” I grinned. He laughed.

“Arasso~, you want some?” I happily hummed. “Yah, see. You love when I have snacks jerk.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said while casually eating some of the fruit he had.

We snacked and waited for another minute or so for our manager to finally let Yuri go and-

“Okay, now what’s so important Taeng? Why’d we have to come all the way over here?” Soo hummed.

“He wouldn’t tell me until you came over here Yuri. It must be big.” I nodded and-

“Yah, you didn’t forget the choreography already did you?”

What?

“No, I-“

“Yah~,” Soo whined, interrupting me. “I want to be able to sleep tonight before our schedule tomorrow Taeyeon-ah~. How could you-”

“I didn’t,” I exclaimed, opening the eyes of the two in front of me for sure. “I didn’t forget the steps,” I repeated more calmly.

“Oh,” Sooyoung said equally as calm. “Why didn’t you say so?”

I took a deep breath.

No Taeyeon. This is no time to get stressed out.

You have to tell them

“Yeah Taeng, if it’s not that what is it?”

“Yah,” I said firmly. “I’m trying to tell you but you keep interrupting me!”

“Okay, okay. Mian,” Soo said. He must have finally picked up on the tone in my voice. “Just calm down and tell us Taeng.” I nodded.

“I want you to promise me you won’t tell anyone what I’m about to say though, okay?”

“What about-“

“Not even SNSD. Not our managers, not anyone… got it?” I saw them both nod, but their expressions had changed completely.

They looked more worried now and I’m not sure if that was a good thing or not…

“Okay,” I sighed. I took a deep breath and started. “Yesterday Fany and I went to the hospital and-“

“Omo, are you guys okay,” Sooyoung asked worriedly. I nodded.

“Ne, just hear me out, alright?” They nodded again. “Good. Okay, yesterday we went to the hospital and found out huge news…”

I saw them look at each other for a second and briefly thought about how I probably shouldn’t have made this sound as serious as I did… it’s not like we were dying or anything. Actually we were kind of doing the opposite by bringing new life in to-

Ugh! Whatever. Just get on with it Taeng.

Right.

“Tiffany is,” I paused. Gah, it felt weird to say it aloud, but I needed to.

I had to.

“Tiffany’s… pregnant.”

I took another deep breath but neither of them even flinched.

What the… No reaction? From those two?

Hold up, did I actually even say it out loud or was that all in my head?

Aigo Kim Taeyeon, you’re really losing it.

“I said Tiffany is-”

“We heard you Tae,” Yuri said.

If they heard me though, why was there no reaction? I mean I thought it was pretty exciting ne-

“Just- ugh… Already?!”

Wait, what?

“Assa~,” I heard coming from my other member, confusing me even more. “I told you! Pay up Kwon Yuri.”

Pay up?

What the hell was he talking about?

“Are you like really sure Taengo? Like one hundred percent?” I looked at Yuri’s distraught expression and nodded.

“The doctor said she was…”

“Bahaha~,” Sooyoung laughed again. “Wow Yul, you weren’t even close.”

Huh? Close? Close to-

Oh my god.

No freaking way…

“Shut up Sooyoung. How was I supposed to know,” Yul groaned.

“Yul, the only people that go at it more than you and Sica are those two… Why wouldn’t you-”

“Yah! You two bet money on that?” They froze and Sooyoung’s grin was wiped clean off.

“Oh, uh ne… hyung,” Soo said sheepishly. I couldn’t believe it.

“What was the bet? Exactly Choi Sooyoung,” I added firmly.

“Ah, well we just bet whether we thought you would… well… knock her up within the first year of your marriage or not,” Soo said, lowering his voice a little at the sensitive parts.

Aigo…

“And?”

“I thought you would and Yuri thought you wouldn’t.”

Gah, thanks for believing in me like that Soo…

“A month Taeyeon,” Yuri asked in disbelief. “Jinjja…”

“Shut it Yul, it’s not like I planned for it to happen… it just did.”

But wait, a bigger realization just popped in my head.

“You guys… you guys aren’t mad though?”

“Ani, why would we be,” Soo questioned nonchalantly.

“Yeah Taeng,” Yul chuckled. “What right do we have to be mad?”

“You two are married, it’s not like we can be mad at you for sneaking around this whole time without us knowing,” Soo laughed.

Omo. I don’t think I expected them to be angry or anything, but I definitely didn’t expect this either.

“What about our jobs,” I asked curiously.

“What more damage is a baby going to do to your image than your marriage didn’t already Tae?”

He had a point there. I couldn’t get much more off the market than I am. I mean what fan was ever going to ‘win my heart’ when I had a smoking hot wife by my side that I love so much?

Exactly.

No one.

“Yeah and if it takes after noona the fans might like you even more for having such a pretty baby,” he laughed. I grinned.

That’s precisely what I was thinking! Who could hate a cute baby?

Ugh, I don’t know if all the crazy talk from Tiffany had got to me or if I was genuinely worried that my members might be disappointed, but all the negative feelings were now gone.

Their responses to this took a weight off my shoulders and I really felt like I could strill into LSM’s office and-

“I am a little worried about noona though.”

Just kidding, the worry was back.

“Yeah, I was just thinking that,” Yuri said. “It’s not like she can perform in that state.” Soo hummed.

“What is she gonna do?” I shrugged.

That was the question we also did not know the answer to.

“We don’t know yet. We haven’t told the company so I don’t know what they want us to do or what we can even do in the first place, ya know?” I watched them both nod.

“Well we’ll both be here for you Taeng,” Yul said with a pat on my back.

“Yeah, we’re team TaeNy all the way~!”

Oh gosh, what would I do without these two?

I just hoped Fany’s members were taking the news just as well. I mean SNSD did have way more to lose than TYS did so I was a little more worried about them

____________________________________________

I thought I had felt something moving a second ago, but as soon as I felt a dip in the bed and something wrap around my stomach, I knew exactly what it was.

“You’re home?” I heard Taeyeon hum.

“I just got here Fany-ah.”

Taking a quick peek at the clock I became immediately annoyed with how long he had been working today.

“Tae it’s four in the morning…”

“I know babe, I’m sorry for waking you,” he said softly as he pulled me closer against his body.

This pabo… That’s not even what I was worried about!

“Mmm,” I sounded, he was so warm though. “Don’t be. I’m glad you did Taetae. Always wake me up when you get home late, okay?” He hummed. “How was your filming?”

“It was okay I guess,” he chuckled. “If they have us make another one take music video I might die though.” I grinned.

“Is that why it took so long?” He hummed. “Did you keep messing up?”

“Ani~ that’s not it,” he adorably groaned. “We had to learn the whole choreography today. They had the set and everything ready, but we had to go through and learn what moves to do and when.”

What?! That sounded ridiculous!

“Jinjja?” He hummed again.

“It was so annoying Fany-ah... I’m just glad the choreography for live performances is way different than the nonsense we did for the video.”

He started talking about all the other annoying things that happened today and just the video shooting in general, but I don’t think I heard most of it.

I really tried to stay awake so I could at least hear his warm voice, but I couldn’t. I was exhausted from my own schedules today on top of being just tired in general due to this person growing inside of me…

“I did get to take a nap for an hour or so why Yuri and Sooyoung filmed a dance scene,” I heard him say loudly.

“Oh, well that’s good Tae,” I replied. He hummed.

“Yeah I- Yah~,” he groaned. “How can you ask me about my day and then fall asleep when I start telling you?!” I grinned. “You’re the one that wants me to tell you these boring things. I-”

“I wanted to hear these boring things so I could hear your voice Taetae,” I said as I started to turn around. I’m sure his adorable pout was out in full force. “I waited all day to hear that warm and- Oh my god.”

I froze and his eyes widened.

“Wae? What’s wrong? Are you-” I shook my head and he stopped mid-sentence.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Your hair Tae,” I said as I ran my fingers through his now blonde locks. “Oh my god.” He laughed.

“Is that a good ‘oh my god’ or a bad one Fany-ah?”

I ran my hand through his hair a few more times trying to figure out the answer myself.

“Both? Neither,” I laughed. “It’s just so different Taetae.” He grinned again.

“Well, do you like it?”

Did I like it?

I liked how it made his face look even brighter than before and it definitely made him look older…

“Mm,” I hummed. “I really like it Taetae. Do you?”

“I do now,” he smirked, putting an even bigger grin on my face.

He was such a dork.

I ran my fingers through it a few more times before his words stopped me in my tracks again.

“I told Yuri and Sooyoung about us.” I brought my hand back down to my side, but Tae caught it in his. “They’re happy for us,” Taeyeon grinned. “Soo hopes it looks like you.”

Omo, seriously?

“They… they took it well?” He nodded.

“Really well babe. Those idiots even made a bet on when they thought it would happen,” he laughed.

I didn’t believe it.

If they made a bet that means they were almost expecting it to happen… a-and they weren’t mad at all? We could seriously ruin-

“Why? What did your members say?” I looked at his face again and could tell he was anything but laughing now. His eyes were focused, his brows were slightly furrowed, and his lips were pursed.

He was worried, but he really didn’t have anything to worry about. Neither of us did… yet.

“I didn’t tell them.” His eyes doubled in size.

“What? But you said-”

“I know what I said Taetae, but I couldn’t. I was too scared.” I watched him sigh and I felt terrible.

I knew I should have told them and I really wanted to all day anyway,  I mean they’re my best friends and this is huge news… it’s just there was this huge fear of ‘what if they get mad’ lingering in my head and I really couldn’t stop thinking about it.

I didn’t want them to be mad at me.

“It’s okay babe. Come here,” he urged. “I was a little worried to tell them too but look at the response I got.” His warm smile was amazing. “Don’t be scared Fany-ah. They’ll support you, I know it.”

“What if they don’t?” He kissed my forehead.

“Then I’ll have to go beat them up wont I,” Taeyeon laughed. I grinned. “Just kidding~. I honestly don’t think you’ll have anything to worry about though Fany. Those girls love you; they’ll have your back.”

I nodded, but I still wasn’t so sure.

As a friend, I knew they would be happy for me. As a co-worker and fellow group member however…

I was worried.

This could seriously damage our group and career in general and that was the last thing that I wanted to do. I cared too much about them and it that I had no idea what to do. I-

“You should tell them tomorrow Tiffany.” I nodded.

“I should…” He hummed.

“I just hope they don’t find out before you get around to telling them babe. I told Yul and Soo not to tell anyone but we both know how that goes…”

Oh my god.

“They wouldn’t.”

“They might… I never know what those two are thinking.”

Heol… He was right too.

While having someone else tell them our announcement didn’t sound like too bad of an idea, I knew that this was the kind of news that would sound best coming from the source…

Damnit.

“I’ll tell them… tomorrow.”

“You mean later?”

Oh right. I forgot it was so early… I hummed.

“Later.”

 

____________________________________________

 

Oh my gosh! I know it’s been forever and I don’t think I could apologize enough even if I tried, but~

SORRY!

 

I had major writers block on top of not knowing where I wanted to take this chapter to begin with and it seriously screwed with my mind.

I’m really sorry that it took so long and I’ll try my hardest not to let it happen again! <3

Anyway, I hope you guys aren’t too mad or disappointed with this chapter!

If you are, or have any suggestions to make it better please do not be afraid to tell me!
Whether you hate it or love it I really love to hear all of your thoughts!
It gives me things to keep in mind while I write the next chapter so don’t ever think your comments go unheard<3

 

Thanks for reading!!!
(and not hating me too much because it took so long!)