It was eleven in the morning and I was so excited. Taeyeon’s plane landed like an hour ago and he’d be here any minute!

The past two nights have been fun without him thanks to Bora from SISTAR and Nicole from KARA, but I really missed my Taetae. Gah it was still funny to think about his reaction to Bora. He wasn’t surprised when I told him about Nicole coming over the next day since we’ve been friends for a long time, but Bora was kind of new.

Bora and I have been kind of friends since we did that idol special episode of Running Man. We as SNSD have always liked SISTAR and we talk to them when our promotions overlap but what really got us close was when she texted me a month or so ago congratulating me on my little Dukong! I can’t remember exactly the conversation but we just started texting and almost haven't stopped since. I was actually kind of surprised about how we got along so well since we’re so different, but I loved it!

Bora was so funny and energetic the whole time she was here, it seriously almost made me forget Taeyeon was thousands of miles away… almost.

I only had to wait another ten minutes or so before I heard the familiar sound of our front door opening.

“Omo,” I said aloud. I stood up to welcome my handsome husband home and as soon as he came in the room he wrapped around me in a big bear hug!

“MMM~,” he sounded as he finally set me back on the ground. I laughed. “I missed you Fany-ah.”

“I missed you too boo. Want a cookie?” He looked confused but when he saw the plate I was pointing too on the coffee table he happily nodded. “How was the show,” I asked after feeding him a bright pink cookie.

“It was nuts,” he replied. I smoothly caught the piece of cookie that fell out of his mouth and laughed again. Due to the look on his face I could only imagine how crazy it actually was. “It was so loud and there were so many people there. Gah~… these cookies are so good Fany, did you make them?” I hummed.

“Nicole and I made them last night,” I explained. “But I don't wanna talk about me, tell me about your show Tae.” Since he was so busy after the show and then had to get on a plane not too long after that I really didn’t get to hear much about his job as an MC.

“There’s really not much to say Fany-ah. We just kinda did it and hosted the show like any other episode… just in front of a ton more people,” he laughed.

Oh right… Thank makes sense. I don’t know why I was expecting more to happen or even what I was expecting to happen, but I just think that I wanted Taeyeon to have a great time doing i-

“I still don’t know how you dated Nichkhun though,” he said out of nowhere. I think I almost choked. What the hell was he talking about? Did that hat say someth- “He’s SOOO~ annoying,” Taeyeon held out dramatically. “When Krystal and Nichkhun and I all had to be out there together I seriously wanted to punch him in the throat… and not even because he dated you Fany-ah,” he laughed. “He wouldn’t shut up… I am an upgrade aren’t I?”

Oh my gosh!

“Of course you are Taetae,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck. “By like a zillion… Did you even have to ask?” He shrugged. Oh my- “I was young and dumb… and I only saw him like once a month Tae, I couldn't see just how annoying he was,” I laughed. “Why didn’t you come along earlier and save me the trouble huh,” I asked playfully.

I think this might be the first time Taeyeon has ever brought Nichkhun up in conversation like… ever. It’s always been kind of a taboo subject so this was very surprising. I mean Taeyeon wasn’t jealous or like worried I still had feelings for him or anything, but he just always kinda hated Nichkhun for doing what he did to me and I really don’t blame him. Cheating is one of the worst things you could do to someone you're in a ‘relationship’ with and that’s just why I love Taeyeon so much… Obviously that’s not the only reason, duh, but I just know he’s not that kind of guy and it makes it so much easier to give my heart to him. I- ugh…

I’m beginning to get just as cheesy as he is too...

Who am I?

“Yah, blame SM for not debuting us earlier,” he laughed. “How was I supposed to greet the amazing SNSD as a measly trainee? You would've given me your autograph and told me to get lost.” His old lady like laugh was music to my ears, but I had to argue.

“Nuh-uh~,” I protested. “I don’t just give out my autograph to random trainees.” I grinned and he just shook his head.

“Wow~, you really are something else Kim Miyoung… Oh! That reminds me.” I laughed.

He was getting as forgetful as I was.

“Did my mom call you too?” Oh, wait… what? I shook my head.

“No why? Did something happen?” He shook his head this time.

“No, it was nothing like that,” he replied thankfully. Whew~! I was momentarily worried. “But my parents got that book from my grandparents, you know with the names?”

What the hell? Book with the names? I- Omo!

“And,” I asked excitedly.

I forgot what it was actually called, but apparently there’s an old family book that literally tells the members in this family what to name their kids… well it’s not their whole name, but only one syllable. Like Taeyeon and his sister share ‘Yeon’ with their cousin Hyoyeon and his brother Seungyeon and so on. Taeyeon said that technically Hayeon didn’t have to have ‘Yeon’ since she’s a girl, but his parents named her that way anyway.

My parents didn't use any sort of book, but my dad said they gave me and my sister a common syllable to match with our mom’s Korean name. He said they also liked the meaning and thought it was cute that they all kind of went together but never used any kind of book. Leo’s Korean name didn’t match ours and I don’t know if my half cousins even have Korean names since they were born and still live in America… I've always called them by their English name regardless.

Sorry guys~!

“We don’t have to use it,” Taeyeon reiterated. “She just called to tell me what it is if we wanted to.” I nodded.

I knew that and he knew that I did… was the syllable that bad?

When Taeyeon first told me about the book he said that we don’t have to follow what it says if we didn’t want to. He told me that his parents understand that the times were changing and that since I’m American I might want to have a bit more freedom in naming him, but honestly I didn't mind… depending on the syllable that is.

I thought it was actually really cool to continue with tradition and keep going with something that has been going on for hundreds of years… but if the syllable that we were supposed to use wasn’t cute I would probably have to pass it up.

I’m sorry but my child will never be named ‘Bum’ or ‘Dong’ anything… They were cute in Korean don’t get me wrong, but when we go to America our sweet little boy would definitely get made fun of and I will not let that happen.

“Okay but what is it Taeyeon,” I asked again. He sighed.

Oh no. I held my breath, waiting for the worst and-

“It’s… it’s Young.”

Oh my- wait… did he just say Young?

I looked at him waiting for him to continue or maybe correct himself, but he just looked back at me with eager eyes… Seriously?

“Like as in Soo-Young, Young,”I asked to make sure. He nodded. Oh my-

“The same exact character. She said it meant like hero or heroic or something like that I-”

“Yah,” I interrupted with a soft punch to his chest. “You seriously scared me Kim Taeyeon! You made it sound like it was going to be one of the worst syllables possible… Gah~,” I sounded. He laughed.

“So you like it?” I shrugged.

I didn’t hate it; I mean it was a cute name, but I also didn’t know if I wanted to name our son that either.

Ugh, I was so picky.

We’ve had months to come up with something and we didn't even have one possibility…

Going through the pros and cons list though it did translate easy to English so that was a big plus. Young is a common English word so if they screwed up the pronunciation of that over there they must just be idiots.

The look on Tae’s face now and his amount of hesitation when telling me in the first place really showed just how much it meant to him to keep his family tradition going too… I couldn’t really think of any bad things about the name other than that it is a part of one of Taeyeon’s best friend’s names.

We were trying to stay away from our close family and friends names just so it wouldn't seem like we were picking favorites… and it’d be a little weird to have two Leo’s or two Yuri’s so close but Young was only half of Sooyoung’s name after all. With another syllable in front it would sound like a totally different name.

“Young isn’t bad at all babe,” I said truthfully. “If you want to name him that I don’t mind.” His eyes grew.

“Jinjja?” I hummed.

“It’s cute and it’ll make your parents happy Tae we should-”

“Aye~,” he groaned. “I don’t care about them.”

Well then okay; how nice of him? Thank god they weren't here...

“I only care about what you want. If you don’t like Young we can find something else Fany-ah, it doesn't bother me at all.” Aigo~!

He was amazing, but the more I thought about it the more I kinda liked it. The meaning was cute too so I really didn't see a problem with it.

“I like it Tae. We haven't come up with any ideas for his name at all so maybe having one of the syllables already set in stone will help.”

Which was something I totally wasn't thinking about until right now holy crap. Coming up with two that had a great meaning, sounded well together, and were also easily pronounced by English speakers was hard work. Now instead of having to come up with a whole name we only had to find one that fit well with Young… this might actually make it easier.

He was looking at me wearily, so I quickly thought of another thing to say.

“Plus look at how cute everyone we know with the name ‘Young’ is... Sooyoung, 2PM’s Wooyoung, KARA’s Jiyoung, and your favorite one of them all; me, Miyoung~,” I said with a cute expression. His grin doubled in size.

“So you really like it?” I nodded. “Because if I tell umma that we’ll use it and we decide to change it she might actually kill us and take Dukong for herself.” I laughed.

“I like it Tae. I really do… unless you don’t think he should have part of my name.” I just thought about that actually.

If we name him ‘something- Young’ or ‘Young-something’ he’ll have a part of my name and- oh my GOD!

I just had a genius idea.

“Taeyeon!” He looked at me with wide eyes. I guess I did just yell his name though… Whatever! “What if we took a part of your name too?”

He didn’t even have to say ‘huh’ because it was written right across his face.

“What if we take ‘Tae’ from your name and then use ‘Young’ from my name?!”

“Tae-Young,” Taeyeon questioned. I hummed. How cute would that be?

“I could have my big Taetae and my little Taetae,” I said as I rubbed my belly a little. “How-”

“No,” Taeyeon said firmly. What the?

“Why not? That name is seriously so cute Taeyeon,” I argued. I’m actually surprised I haven't thought of it before… our couple name is TaeNy, how did I miss this combination?

“Nope,” Taeyeon said as he shook his head. “I can’t let you name him that.” Uhm…

“Why not,” I asked... again. Did it really sound that bad? Was my brain trying to trick me or something? I mean I thought the concept was so cute; a part of each of our names put together and-

“I’m your only Taetae,” Taeyeon said with a pout. I-

Oh.

My.

Gosh.

Did he really just...

“Kim Taeyeon,” I scolded. I honestly didn’t believe him right now. “Are you being serious?” He nodded. “You don’t want to share your name with your son?”

“It’s not only that Fany-ah I just don’t think we should.” UHM.

“And why not? Don’t you like it?” He shook his head.

“It’s not that Fany-ah, I do like it and I like the fact that it’s a part of both of our names put together but I just couldn't name him that,” Taeyeon said sort of apologetically. What the- “You call me Taetae all the time babe…” He didn't say anything else but I felt like he wanted to.

“So?”

I can see how it would get confusing at some point when I call ‘Taetae’ and both of them come to me… but that would also be so freaking cute. I-

“Like even when we were you know... making him…?”

Huh? Why was he saying it like that? Heck what did he even mean by that? When we were- oh… OH. It finally hit me.

“That would just be too weird to call him that too Fany-ah I’m sorry.” I shook my head. I definitely understood now.

“Don't be Tae, I did not even think about that... Oh my gosh,” I said aloud after thinking about it again. “We really can’t call him that.” Taeyeon laughed.

“Hmm mm,” he sounded as he shook his head. “Don’t worry though babe, we’ll think of something soon enough.” I nodded.

That’s true. We still had months to come up with the other syllable for his name… and based on how long it took us to decide on the first syllable we’ll need all the time we can get.

Gah, what goes well with ‘Young’ thou-

“Do you wanna watch our new music video?”

“Huh,” I said accidentally. “I mean what? Wait, your music video?” He hummed. “It’s already out?”

I could've sworn it didn’t come out until like next week.. I mean wasn't the teaser JUST released… or did I totally forget about my husband’s music video coming out… oh my gosh, I-

“Ani, but they just finished editing it and Hyung had a copy of it on a flash drive so I asked if I could borrow it and wahlah~,” he sounded. “Let’s watch it.”

Oh thank goodness. I was momentarily worried I actually forgot Taeyeon’s comeback date or something. This pregnancy brain was getting out of control… but wait...

“Have you already seen it then?” He hummed.

“Err, well I saw one version before they added the effects and different parts from the other recordings.” I laughed.

“So you haven't seen it yet.” He shook his head.

“No not really.” I had to laugh again. His expression was so cute.

Ohh~ Taeyeon.

He quickly opened the laptop on the coffee table and plugged in his USB drive. I scooted a little closer to him and prepared myself for what I’m sure was going to be amazing. Omo, wait a second!

“Is this the first time we’re both watching one of our music videos for the first time together?” He paused to think.

“Hmm, yeah I think so Fany-ah. I made you wait until all the other ones were actually out to watch them,” he laughed. I nudged him in the side.

“Yeah and I much prefer this way Taetae. I want to see them first.” He grinned. “And I really hated when other people told me your comeback was great before I even got to hear the song babe,” I said with a pout.

I might be overreacting a little bit, but I really did hate that. Should I be the first one to see it? Okay well obviously not first, but one of the first? Taeyeon is my husband and thousands of people get to see the outcome of all the work he puts into everything before me!

It just wasn't fair.

“Really?” I hummed and he sighed. “Well I’m sorry Fany, I had no idea it made you feel like that.” His arm wrapped around my back and he squeezed me just a little. “From here on out I promise I’ll show you everything I do before it gets released, okay?” My stomach fluttered.

The tone of his voice alone right now made me weak.

“Okay,” I nodded. “I promise I’ll show you too.” He grinned.

“Good… are you ready?” Huh- OH. Right!

I hummed.

“Okay~… go!” He tapped on the space bar and the video began.

I was so excited!

The music was weird as it opened up with TYS’s logo. It sounded like the moment in a scary movie when you know someone or something is about to pop out, but you don’t know when and it-

“WAH~,” I accidentally screamed as Taeyeon’s face zoomed way in popped up on the screen with a very loud start to the actual music. He just laughed at me.

It started to zoom out now and-what the hell? Taeyeon was literally being held up by two of the background dancers in like a pyramid formation. I could see someone dancing behind them as it zoomed out more and I already knew I was in for a ride.

 

For everyone who doesn't know what "Overdose' sounds like or just wants to listen/watch and read along! CLICK HERE

 

(Come in)

 

 

The camera moved right under Taeyeon and through the pyramid they were making to finally showcase Sooyoung and his amazing dancing. He went through the motion of acting like he was throwing to his left and- heol~!

The camera moved like he had ‘thrown’ it and was now focused on Yuri! Right after his first line the hip s began and I honestly don’t think I was ready.

 

[Yuri] I drew you in closer with all I had
Now I can’t turn it back

 

 

Taeyeon literally slid in behind him on his knee and I was seriously going to have to ask him how he did that later. That was awesome!

 

[Taeyeon] This is clearly a dangerous addiction
So bad no one to stop her~

 

 

“Ooh~,” I accidentally said aloud. His y English on top of his already amazing voice killed me. I’m not even going to bring up how good he looked either.

 

[All] Her love her love

[Sooyoung] The only thing I want is her love
[Taeyeon] Her fatal fantasy
I’m drunk with ecstasy~

[Yuri] Oh she wants me~ oh she’s got me,
[Taeyeon] oh she hurts me~
What else can be better than this?

 

Their song was great so far and their dancing was even better. I really loved the camera work and how they just kept popping out from behind each other and sneakily came from the sides, but when it cut to the chorus and the first real outfit change, I was shook.

I said I wasn't going to bring up how good they looked, but that was a huge lie.

They looked y! Taeyeon especially, but that’s probably my personal bias talking. Gah~ how did suits just make men look so much more handsome? I truly didn't understand.

 

[All] Someone call the doctor hold me and tell me
Love is a sickness, an addiction, overdose
It’s harder to control as time goes by
I’m falling deeper into her

 

“Wah~,” I had to comment. “You guys look so good Tae.”

Sooyoung and Yuri were being their extra selves in the choreography with their little flourishes here and there, but I couldn't take my eyes of my Taetae.

Damn he looked good.  

 

[All/Taeyeon] Oh too much, it’s you, your love, [ALL] This is overdose
[All/Sooyoung] Too much, it’s you, your love, [ALL] This is overdose
 

[Yuri] The teasing way you came; my instinct desires you more
[Sooyoung] After my breath quickens and chokes, I feel a shiver and then sigh

[All] Her love her love [Yuri] is like strong medicine to me; destiny I can’t escape
[Taeyeon] My blood gets hotter and eventually controls all of me~

[Sooyoung] Oh she wants me~ oh she’s got me,
[Taeyeon] Oh she hurts me~ I keep thinking and thinking about you

[All] Someone call the doctor hold me and tell me
Love is a sickness, an addiction, overdose
It’s harder to control as time goes by
I’m falling deeper into her
[All/Taeyeon] Oh too much, it’s you, your love, [ALL] This is overdose
[All/ Yuri] Too much, it’s you, your love, [ALL] This is overdose

[Sooyoung] Everyone asks me [Taeyeon] If I’ve changed~
[Sooyoung] It’s like you’re nailed into my heart
[Taeyeon] My world is filled with you

[Taeyeon] I can’t stop, I’m already filled with you
Right now, this moment, you’re in my heart~

 

 

“Wah~,” I said aloud again. It was the only thing I could say though. They all did such an amazing job. Taeyeon was killing every line he had and I was so proud of him.

I couldn't fan-girl out just yet though.

Sooyoung became the focus and he said the all too famous line, ‘T-Y-S’ as he motioned to each of the corresponding members, ending on himself. It was actually really fun! The camera moved along with his motioning and I think who ever directed this definitely needed an award.

 

[Sooyoung] T Y S

[Yuri] I taste and drink you
My heart trembles, I keep drinking you but it’s not enough yet
This thirst sends shivers even to my finger tip, hold on to that moment
Don’t stop going it’s so good, I can’t stop
[Sooyoung] Hey Doctor~ Am I okay like this?
It is uncontrollable, melting in this attraction
[Yuri] Without this feeling, it’s like I’m dead
[Sooyoung ] The reason I live is because of my addiction to the sweetness that is you

 

I literally clapped.

That was so good oh my gosh! I’m really glad they’re letting Yuri rap more too because his voice is like perfect for it. I’ll have to tell Jess about this for sure.

 

(Someone call the doctor)

[All] Someone call the doctor, I need her ([Taeyeon] Hey~)
I can’t stand it for a single day ([Taeyeon] Can’t last )
You’re like heaven that I don’t want to leave ([Taeyeon] Hey~)
This long trap is wonderful eh-oh ([Taeyeon] long, long oh yeah~~)
Oh too much, it’s you, your love, this is overdose ([Taeyeon] too much, your love~)
Oh too much, it’s you, your love

[All] This is overdose!

 

Yuri physically flipped between Taeyeon and Sooyoung just before they all three motioned like they were pushing the camera up. It really looked like they had pushed the camera upward too because the camera panned upward and then cut straight to black.

“Ta-da~,” Taeyeon sang. “The end.” I grinned. His english was cute, but cute was definitely not the right word to describe his performance in his MV. “Did you like it?” I hummed.

“I really liked it Tae, it was amazing. You guys are gonna all-kill for sure,” I praised. He grinned.

“You think so?” I nodded again.

“Of course Taetae. You sang so well and your dancing was on point and… and you were just so y,” I laughed. He slyly grinned.

“Oh yeah?” I hummed again.

“Mhmm, super y Taetae.” I laughed. The thought of me wanting to call our baby ‘Taetae’ popped in my head again and I could really see just how dumb of an idea that was now.

Wow that would have been SO ba- huh?

I felt Taeyeon scooting closer to me and his hand trying to sneak up my shirt and- hold up... did I somehow just unleash ByunTae? What the-

I looked over at Tae who was in turn looking at me like he wanted to pounce and knew the answer to that immediately... not that I minded in any way, shape, or form.

Ahh~ it was definitely great to have my Taeyeon back home.

 

 

________________________________________________________

 

 

 

“Ready?” Yuri and I hummed in unison. “Okay,” Sooyoung said as he knocked on the door in front of us. I heard a faint ‘ne’ from the other side followed by a ‘come in’ and we did just that.

We greeted the managers and stylists quickly before turning to our actual targets.

“Yah, what are you guys doing here?”

“Well it’s nice to see you too Sunny,” I laughed. She grinned.

“That’s not what I mean pabo. I thought you guys would be at another schedule?” Ahh~ that made sense but-

“Nope,” Sooyoung answered for me. “This is our only scedule today so we just have to wait for the show to be over.”

“For the ending?” Soo hummed.

“We just got done pre-recording when Yuri said that you all were here so we stopped to take off our mics and stuff and came to visit.”

“Ahh,” Sunny said. “Is th-”

“Oh?!” I quickly turned around to where the surprised tone came from to see their maknae walking through the door behind us. “Oppa I didn’t think you guys would be here,” Seohyun laughed. “Where’s Tiffany unnie?”

Huh? Tiffany?

“Uhm at home probably still sleeping,” I questioned. “Why?” She shook her head.

“No reason. I just thought she’d come with you, you know? Since it’s your comeback,” she explained further. I nodded.

Oh right~ okay, I mentally commented. That makes sense… but she definitely didn't come with me.

“She said she was going to come with me last night but when I woke her up this morning she said she was too tired and I didn’t want to push her... I think Dukong kept waking her up,” I said sadly.

I really did feel bad about him kicking her like crazy all the time… but on the other hand I really loved to feel him kick!

Oh my, I know that sounds bad of me but it was just so amazing to think about our little baby inside her kicking around like a madman! I seriously couldn't wait for him to get here.

Sorry Fany-ah.

How many weeks are left again? I tried to count quickly but I couldn't focus for long. All I know is that we’re more than halfway there and our comeback was freaking today!!!

TODAY!

I was so excited!

Actually I’d probably be a little more excited if we were doing it live, but since SM wanted to up the production value of our first week performing on music shows we had to pre-record so we could use all the fancy lights and props we wanted… and there were surprisingly a lot.

I hate to say this with my own mouth, but when we watched it back on the monitor I really thought we looked pretty cool. I couldn’t wait for our fans to hear it either! It’s way more exciting than our last song and I-

“Wa~, I can't wait to listen to it oppa,” I heard Seohyun say as Yuri handed her our- aish~!

“Yah, Yuri-yah,” I scolded. “I thought you said we were going to give it to them at the same time?” He grinned.

That was the whole reason we came over here actually… and of course to see our friends, but we would definitely use the first reason as our excuse if anyone asked.

“Whoops,” he said with his all too charming smile. “She asked what it was so I just gave it to her.” I shook my head.

Aigooo~. He was too weak.

“Yah,” Jessica protested. “I want mine too then.” She held out her hand in front of Yuri and her copy of our signed album was placed on top in two seconds flat.

“Oh I heard it’s doing really well too, isn't it,” Sunny asked as Yuri handed her copy of our album over. I had to nod.

I really hated to brag… but~ our mini album was now the most pre-ordered mini-album in history so I’d say that was doing fairly well. That feat alone was amazing but our album also debuted at number 129 on the Billboard 200 list in America too. I know that doesn't seem like really anything because I mean 129th isn’t really anything to brag about, but since it’s the highest position any other Korean male group has ever reached I was pretty proud… and being number two on the Billboard World album chart definitely didn’t hurt.

Gah~! I was seriously just so proud of us right now, especially after reading on multiple sites that people thought we had already hit our peak with ‘Growl’. This was just like a big ‘HA’ to all our anti-fans and I truly hoped we could rub it in even more…

Okay that sounds really rude of me but if they can say bad things about me and my friends on the internet then I can hope they feel worse about us doing better than ever!

Punks!

We talked to Jessica, Sunny, and Seohyun for a few more minutes before they had to go do a rehearsal run and then we went back to our waiting room. A few random rookie groups came to give us their album before the show started and it felt weird to even think about.It made me feel just that much more proud but also humble somehow... I’m not sure. I think it was still weird for me to think we were a group people actually looked up to and aspired to be rather than just rookies like before.

What made me even more proud though was being in the top three at the end of the show. This was our first performance back and we were already getting this many votes?

Heol… our fans are amazing.

It was us up against SISTAR, who just came back a few days ago, and of course SNSD. It was no surprise that SNSD won, but it did make me feel a little worried about SISTAR.

If they were in the top three with us they would definitely be the group to watch out for during the upcoming promotions and they were definitely no one to take lightly. They were a huge group with a pretty big fanbase so I just really hope our fans pull through again next week and we can take the first place trophy… Tiffany did say we would all-kill after all.

Sooyoung and I quickly congratulated them as the encore of ‘Twinkle’ started to play like always, but then I tried to get off stage as fast as I could. I know our managers said that we could stay up there if SNSD won since we’re both from SM and it would be good publicity to see two groups getting along so well like we do, but I just felt weird doing it.

Normally I think I probably would've stayed up there, but with Tiffany not there and me being the sole reason she wasn’t up there I’m not sure how the fans would've reacted. Some of them still might not be too happy with me and I totally understood. I think most of their fans have gotten over- er well obviously not gotten over the fact that she’s having a baby but I like to believe that they’re more disappointed she isn't performing with her group rather than with the whole having a baby thing. I’m kinda mad at myself about it too actually.

Why didn’t I accidentally get her pregnant during a break in their schedule? That would have made everything just so much easier…

Ugh~!

I watched from the side as Sooyoung and Yuri started dancing with SNSD and it was pretty funny how Sooyoung almost knew the entire dance… Gah is this what he does when he’s alone in the dorm? Learn and practice girl group dances?

I was honestly a little concerned.

Yuri only knew the dance to the chorus like I did but what drew my attention to him was how happy he seemed to be on stage dancing with Jessica. She even held the mic up for him to sing at one of her parts... which was actually pretty hilarious hearing Yuri sing about twinkling.

They were smiling and laughing at each other and if the fans didn’t notice earlier when Yul put his hand on the small of Jessica’s back to get her attention as the confetti rained down after they won, they almost had to notice this. I wasn’t even keeping an eye out for this stuff and both were really obvious to me.

Who am I kidding though, his super fans probably noticed it happened even before it actually did…

They’re that good.

I actually can't wait to see all the little videos and gifs of it happening later… it will be nice not to be the most searched TYS member for a change after all.

Thanks Yul!

 

 

__________________________________________

 

 

 

I took a deep breath and- uh what in the- Oh! I unlocked my phone to open the message and-

 

Text Message
From: Hubby<3

You can do it! Fany-ah fighting~!
<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

 

Ahh, I sighed. As lame as it might sound, that really did make me feel a little better… the little row of hearts definitely didn’t hurt either. I laughed to myself.

Taeyeon was seriously the best. I really wish he could have been here with me for this but since he was performing on SBS’s K-pop Star with one of the contestants later as a favor to BoA, I guess I would have to let it slide.

In just a few minutes I’ll be doing a phone interview for Shinyoung unnie’s radio show and I was so freaking nervous. It will be the first interview I’ve ever done since my pregnancy news came out and I honestly don’t know what to expect. I mean I know there's a script and everything but it’s Shinyoung… who knows what she’ll say!

Thankfully it was going to be a short interview and I was even more thankful that Jess, Sunny and our precious maknae will actually be in the studio the whole time while I’m on the phone to help me out. They were the real guests and I was just kind of featuring. According to my manager I’ll be calling in, talking for ten or fifteen minutes, and then hanging up like it was no big deal! The interview would continue for my girls but I would get to finally relax… and immediately go read what everyone had to say about me online.

Oh goodness.

SM thought it’d be a good idea if I did this though and I totally agree. It will be the first time I’ve actually spoken about well, everything and I’m kinda excited… yet completely terrified.

This could go so badly!

Ugh…

“It’s about to start Tiffany-ssi,” my manager unnie said. I nodded.

Great.

Since it was a broadcasted radio show we were going to be able to actually watch the whole interview up until the part where I get connected in… of course I’ll still be able to watch it while I’m on the phone but- UGH… whatever!

AH! I’m just too nervous! My hands were already shaking.

Thankfully the first portion of the broadcast was just mostly the girls talking about the musicals that Sunny and Jessica are about to start in here soon and the new co-hosting job Seohyun will start after their promotions are over at Show! Music Core. They then started the usual conversation about the new song and how it was weird to perform with three instead of our usual four and I could feel my stomach turning.

I knew what was coming but I wasn't ready for it at all.

It was one thing to just listen to my members talk about me and the situation I put us in, but this time I had to actually say things too oh my gosh… and it was the first time my fans would hear me talk about it too!

Why did I wait so long to do this? It would've probably been better to do this like right after the news came out but of course SM wouldn't let me do tha-

“Tiffany,” my manager said for what seemed like the tenth time in a whisper like yell… wait.

“What?” Her eyes were bulging and I feel like I totally missed something…

“You’re on,” she said in that yell-y whisper tone again. I-

Omo!

“Annyeonghaseyo, Tiffany-ssi,” I heard Shinyoung unnie say on the screen in front of me. “Oh? Is our connection bad?” I saw her looking around at what were probably the PDs and-

Crap!

“Ah annyeonghaseyo unnie,” I greeted as cheerfully as I could. “Can you hear me now?”

“Oh ne Tiffany-ssi we can hear you now, what happened?”

I’m an idiot, is what I should have said, but instead I blamed it on having to turn off the volume from my computer so it wouldn’t interfere weirdly… which is actually a good idea. I hit the mute button just before greeting the listeners in the idol way we were taught years ago.

“Ne Tiffany-ssi, it’s nice to talk to you too… Have you been watching the broadcast so far?” I nodded… even though they couldn't see me at all.

Aigo~!

“Of course I have,” I replied cheerily. “I’m actually still watching it with the sound off.” Shinyoung unnie looked surprised on screen. I grinned.

“Is that so?” I hummed. “Ah well then everyone let’s wave to Tiffany-ssi watching us from home.”

“Wah~,” I cheered as I watched my girls and Shinyoung unnie wave on screen. “It’s nice to see you guys; I’ve missed you so much!”

I really have too. Since they’re still promoting and Taeyeon just started, I’ve been feeling more and more lonely at home. They were always just so busy! It was great for them no doubt and I was super proud SNSD and TYS were both doing so well... but a tiny part of me wished they would just stay home with me all day!

“We miss you too unnie,” Seohyun said toward the camera fixed on her. Jessica and Sunny agreed.

“It’s been really quiet during these promotions,” Sunny teased.

“Hey~,” I kind of protested. I was completely ignored though...

“Because Miyoungie hasn’t been there,” Shinyoung asked… using my Korean name too. Ugh maybe this radio show was the wrong choice to make my comeback on...

Sunny hummed. “Yeah and it was nice at first,” she laughed.

Rude…

“But after the first few music shows it just seemed empty without her.” Jessica agreed.

“We’ve really missed her and we’re all really excited for when we can promote together again,” she said; kind of making up for her previous comments.

“Oh? Does that mean there’s something in the works? Or do you just mean in general,” Shinyoung unnie asked.

Uh-oh!

“Overall,” Sunny replied quickly… thankfully not spilling any of the beans about the album we had literally just started working on. We haven't even recorded anything yet so it would have been really bad to even kind of drop hints at this point.

“Yeah, not just with the promotions for ‘Twinkle’ but we have an SMTown concert in a couple weeks too where the stages are huge in comparison to regular music shows,” Jessica stopped to sigh. “So yeah, it will feel really empty.”

“We know unnie will be watching though so it does make it a little better,” Seohyun added.

“Oh is that true Tiffany-ssi?” I hummed. “Have you been keeping up with their promotions too?”

“Of course~,” I cheered again. Actually I kinda chuckled about what I was going to say next…

Aigo~ here it goes.

“I've had a lot of free time recently so I've been able to keep up with all their promotions.” Shinyoung seemed surprised. “Yes really,” I replied. “I've watched all their performances on TV and I’ve even had our managers send me videos of the performances that aren't aired.”

“Wow,” she marveled. “Did you guys know she went to that extent?” Sunny shook her head.

“Aniyo, unnie she takes it even farther than that,” Sunny laughed. “She watches and listens to all our interviews too.”

“And variety appearances,” I added.

“Heol… Tiffany-ssi I don’t know if I should praise you for being a dutiful member or report you to the police for being a sasaeng fan,” Shinyoung laughed. We all laughed with her too. I mean if it were anyone else it would have really sounded like an obsessed fan.

“It’s even worse with her though because after every performance or interview instead of posting about it online like normal fan she’ll text us directly and give us feedback,” Sunny teased. I laughed. I never thought about it like that...

“Yeah or tell us what to do different next time,” Jess added.

“Wow, daebak,” Shinyoung replied. “Tiffany-ssi what do the messages usually say? Like ‘oh Jessica you need to rehearse that note a little more’, or like ‘as expected, no one can cover my part as well as me~’.”

“Yah,” I protested immediately. It was funny for sure and they all laughed, but I really couldn't have people thinking I did that! “I never say things like that, gosh… Unnie quit trying to make me look bad.”

“Aye~, you know I’m kidding Tiffany-ssi… what kinds of things do you say though? Seohyun-ssi what does she say to you?” Seohyun looked surprised at the random call out, but I knew our precious maknae wouldn't let me down.

“Hmm I can’t remember the most recent one,” she said. Momentarily making my heart stop.

Come on Seohyun! As if fans needed another reason to be mad at me right now!

“But I think the one I remember the most was right after our first broadcast… you know without her?” Shinyoung nodded. “And she just texted me and said I needed to relax and stop being nervous.”

“Oh because it was the first performance without her?” Seohyun nodded.

“Ne. We were all nervous about how it would look and how our fans would react and everything and Tiffany unnie texted me that and then said something like ‘You're SNSD with or without me! You can do this!’” She laughed. “It wasn’t anything too profound, but it just made me feel better knowing that unnie was rooting us on no matter what.” I smiled.

Our maknae was amazing. My love for those girls was out of this world.

“Wow~ Tiffany-ssi how cool of you to say it like that,” Shinyoung praised? I think…?

“Ne,” Jessica agreed this time though. “She usually just texts us about how proud she is and about how well she thinks we did or sometimes she’ll say for instance ‘instead of doing it the way you did, maybe you should try to do this instead’. To help us out of course...”

“Ah, so everything she says is pretty good?” The girls all agreed. “Why do you do it though Tiffany-ssi? Aren't you busy doing other things too?” I nodded.

“That’s true and I do sometimes miss different radio broadcasts or TV appearances, but I always make sure to go back and watch them,” I laughed. “Since I can't be there to physically help or take part in promotions myself I feel like this is the best way I can help my group. They’re all covering me and my parts and helping me out every way they can so I think this is the least I could do.”

“That’s a really good way to think about it Tiffany-ssi,” Shinyoung praised. “Maybe I won't need to report you to the police after all… For those listeners that have been living under a rock and don’t know why SNSD’s Tiffany has been sitting out of promotions, I’m about to tell you…”

Oh my gosh. I knew she was eventually going to say it but I had no idea it’d be so sudden like this.

My throat all of a sudden went dry… heol.

“Our Tiffany is expecting a baby!” Everyone cheered and the lump in my throat passed. “Isn't that right?”

“Ne,” I replied again. “Taeyeon and I were blessed with a honeymoon baby.”

I let out a deep breath after the weight that was pressing on my chest magically lifted.

I was so nervous before, but now I just kind of wanted to talk. I felt like it had been building up inside of me for so long and I just wanted to get it out! It was so refreshing to be able to talk so freely on the radio like this… refreshing yet incredibly scary.

I was just glad Shinyoung unnie warmed me up first before going right into the baby questions. She was awesome!

“Wow, that’s so exciting…and yes everyone she’s talking about world famous TYS member Kim Taeyeon too. Our Tiffany isn't married to just anyone,” she teased and I could seriously feel my face turning pink. “Are you both excited?”

“Very much so,” I replied with a huge smile… even though they couldn't tell. “We’re so excited.”

“Wah, this listener just sent a message saying that your baby will be visually blessed and how they’re jealous,” she laughed. “Yes she is very lucky; I’m kinda jealous too.” Her reaction was funny, but I had to agree.

I really was one lucky girl.

“I have been kind of curious though,” she started. Uh oh… That’s never a good set up. “How did your members react to the news? They did know before the news of it came out right?”

Whew~! Easy.

“Oh of course,” I replied quickly. “It would have been impossible to hide something like that from them for so long and I really didn’t want to hide it from them anyway so I told them a day or two after we found out.”

“Oh wow, so they were one of the first to know?” I hummed. “Even before you told your company?”

“Yeah, besides our family members they were the first to-”

“Don’t lie Tiffany,” Jessica said sternly… cutting me off.

Lie? What? What was I even lying abo-

“The TYS members knew before us and we’re still pretty hurt about it,” she grinned.

Ugh that girl, I wish I could just wha-

“What?! Is that true Tiffany-ssi?” I hated to admit this but-

“Yes, unfortunately it is.” Shinyoung overreacted a little, obviously for show but eventually let me explain myself. “Taeyeon and I planned on telling our members on the same day… but I chickened out and told them a day later.”

“Why did you chicken out? Were you afraid of their responses or-”

“Yeah,” I said cutting her off. “I was really nervous about how they would react. I had all these crazy ideas in my head about how I thought it would happen and I just talked myself right out of it.”

“What kind of ideas,” Shinyoung asked… of course. I laughed.

“Some of them seem really silly now, but I was really nervous about like everything... I thought about like what if they get really mad and hate me for this- or what I was really scared about was ruining our group,” I admitted. “I’m still scared of hurting SNSD actually. I thought after I told them they would immediately kick me out of the group an-”

“Aye no way~,” Shinyoung commented. I could see Jessica shaking her head too.

“No I know it sounds ridiculous now, and I knew deep down that they wouldn't ever do that but I had just found out this huge life changing news that literally flipped my life upside down and I was seriously freaking out about everything. I jumped to all kinds of crazy conclusions in my head too so I was just really happy they accepted me with open arms,” I said truthfully. “I actually cried.”

“Heol… daebak. Did you all really accept her with open arms like she said? Or do you guys still secretly hate her,” Shinyoung laughed. “I can put her on mute if you really want me-”

“Unnie~,” Seohyun scolded.

Omo, leave it to Shinyoung to turn such a serious situation into a joke.

“Of course we didn't hate her and we still don’t.”

“Mmm,” Sunny hummed. “And we did accept her with open arms… but we also had a private talk without her later that night.”

“Oh jinjja? Did you know about this Tiffany-ssi??” I hummed.

“Not until a few weeks ago though.” She looked surprised.

“Wow, what did you three talk about then? How to kick her out smoothly?”

“Aye~ no,” Sunny said quickly. “We just didn't want to talk about this kind of stuff in front of Tiffany because we could see she already was dealing with enough, but we were worried for our future as SNSD too.”

“We were really really happy for her from a best friend standpoint,” Jessica explained. “But from a business and work view it was definitely something we had to think about.”

They started explaining their thoughts and worries about me becoming pregnant, but thankfully ended the conversation on a high point. They told her just as they told me a few weeks ago that it was bound to happen sooner or later with one of us or even a different idol group, but it just so happened that I was first.

It felt refreshing for all of this to come out finally and even more so for my team to back me up completely. I think this is the most content I’ve felt the whole time I’ve been pregnant.

“We can’t be more excited for her though,” Jessica said warmly. Sunny agreed.

“We’ve been thinking of ways we can make it our mascot,” she hopefully joked… Shinyoung laughed.

“Mascot?! What are you going to do? Teach it to dance before it can walk?”

“Ani ani, nothing like that, but we could probably find baby sized versions of our outfits for it to wear around with us.”

“Wow Tiffany are you hearing this,” Shinyoung asked. I laughed. While it was pretty cute to imagine our little Dukong in a tiny military uniform, the cheerleading outfit for ‘Oh’ was just too much.

“Yes yes and now I know Sunny will definitely be babysitting it last.” They all laughed at my semi-serious joke and Shinyoung was quickly on the next question.

“So besides monitoring your members activities, what else have you been up to? You said yourself you have a lot of free time.”

“Ah ne. That’s true and I've been doing lots of different things,” I replied honestly.

Since I obviously couldn't tell them I had been working a little more behind the scenes on our upcoming album or about a totally separate special project, I would have to tell them about my more boring activities.

“I’ve caught up on some dramas, I've been practicing my Korean more, and just recently I finished decorating the nursery.”

“Oh jinjja,” she asked.  I nodded again.

“Ne, mainly I’ve just been trying to get things ready for when he gets here this summer. I think I-”

I froze. Wait a second…

Did I just say what I think I did?

I looked at the screen to see my members looking back and forth to see if anyone noticed, which they almost had to and-

“So that cat is out of the bag,” Sunny said sarcastically. My face fell into my hands and I could only imagine what Taeyeon would say about this…

“Omo, Tiffany just so all our listeners make sure they heard you right, did you just refer to your baby as ‘he’,” Shinyoung asked.

There was no way I could back out of this one now…

“I-uh… well yeah. Yes I did,” I said, fully accepting what I just let slip. “We didn’t mean for it to come out like this but yes; Taeyeon and I are having a boy.”

“Wow~! You all heard it first right here on Kim Shinyoung’s radio,” unnie boasted. “I think this is the first time we've revealed such big news here on my show,” she laughed.

“Ah, well you’re welcome I guess,” I laughed again. “When they say pregnant people get forgetful they really mean it…”

“They must! A boy though,” she brought up again. “Taeyeon must be even more excited now.” I laughed.

“Actually he really wanted it to be a girl. He’s just as happy with a boy but he called him a ‘her’ until the day we found out it was actually a boy.”

Aigo~ he was so cute.

“That’s so cute,” Shinyoung said, clearly agreeing with me. I- “Does he help out a lot? I feel like he’s the kind to want to help.”

Wait… what? Who?

“Taeyeon?” I watched Shinyoung nod on-screen and heard her hum just seconds later. “Oh of course. He helps whenever he can. He’s promoting right now but-”

“Oh right! ‘Overdose’ is doing so well too so I’m sure he’s busy... that must be really hard,” she said, cutting me off. I agreed though.

“Yeah I honestly see him more on TV than I do at home, but whenever he gets a break between schedules he always calls me to check in and see how I’m doing and sometimes he’ll bring me delicious foods that I’ve been craving if the break is long enough… he’s been amazing.”

I almost mentioned the nightly back and feet rubs he gives me but I felt like that was a bit over sharing...

“Aww wow, it sounds like he’s taking good care of you.” I couldn't agree more. “To make all the viewers even more jealous than they were before, what’s the nicest thing he’s done for you in the past week?”

Oh my gosh… When she put it that way it almost made me want to just say a typical idol answer and move past it, but~ how could I possibly pass up the chance to brag about my perfect husband?

Trick question; I can’t.

“In the past week?” She confirmed. I grinned.

That was easy.

“Uhm a few days ago I woke up in the middle of the night and I just had the most sudden urge to eat mint chocolate chip ice cream. I don’t know why but I just needed to eat that kind too, my mind wouldn't settle for anything other... It’s not even my favorite flavor.” Shinyoung and the girls laughed. It was probably their first time hearing this too… unless I just forgot that I told them I guess.

Whatever!

“It wasn't your favorite flavor, but you needed to eat it?” I hummed.

“Yeah it was so strange… but I went to our freezer to check if we had any and of course we didn't.”

“Of course,” she commented.

“Exactly, so I kept trying to just go back to sleep and I told myself to forget it and I’ll just buy some tomorrow, but I couldn't. I like needed to eat it then and there.” They laughed.

“So it’s like when people can't sleep because they’re up all night thinking about life’s problem, but for Tiffany it was only about ice cream,” Sunny teased.

That brat!

“It’s so interesting though! Wow, so was that one of those infamous pregnancy cravings?”

“I guess so,” I laughed. “I don't know.” I've had other cravings before but this was definitely the only one I’ve lost sleep over...

“What did you do then? Did you get the ice cream?”

Oh right!

“Yes, I did... eventually. I felt really bad about doing this since Taeyeon had only been asleep a couple hours after having been awake for around twenty one hours, but I didn't want to go alone…”

“Wow~ a twenty one hour day? He sure is busy,” Shinyoung commented. I agreed.

“Ne he is, but I woke him up and asked him if he’d go with me to the convenience store that’s near our house to look for this ice cream anyway… I felt so bad.” She laughed.

“It does seem silly… Did he go with you?”

“I would've just told her to go back to sleep,” Jessica teased.

“You wouldn't have even woken up unnie,” Seohyun added, making it even funnier! We all laughed, but eventually Shinyoung asked me again to finish my story.

Right.

“When I woke him up and asked he just let a deep breath out and cooly told me to rest and that he would go get it for me.”

“Wow~,” Shinyoung said aloud. “Taeyeon is really charming isn't he?” I hummed. Thinking about all the amazing things he’s done for me over these past few months just put the biggest smile on my face as I gave really the only answer I truthfully could.

“Yeah… he’s very charming.”

I’m sure my face was red and I could feel my stomach flipping like it did during one of the very first interviews I did about Taeyeon but it was so nice. It made me realize just how in love I was with that dork right now and I seriously didn’t want it to be any other way.

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

 

 

I’m really sorry it took so long to update, please feel free to yell at me.
I totally deserve it!
This is a pretty long chapter though so don't hate me too much :(

 

I’m so thankful you all have stuck with me and haven’t forgot about me though.It means the world to me!<33333
If you have any suggestions or concerns please let me know! I love hearing the reader’s thoughts; good or bad!
They really help me stay motivated to write so thank you to everyone that has commented before and who will in the future.
<3

BUUUUT. I’m not 100% familiar with how the whole naming process is in Korea obviously but I read about the family book and thought it would be a fun idea. I clearly don’t know what syllable is supposed to be next but since ‘Yeon’ was a recurring syllable in the Kim family I just decided to go in alphabetical order based on the roman letters. Since ‘Young’ is technically spelled ‘Yeong’ it totally comes after ‘Yeon’ and ta da~! That’s how the name came about… now I just need the second syllable. SOS