Tigers
Into the New World: Together
The few days after Christmas were so busy, I don’t think I could’ve thanked my sister enough for staying until the new year.
On the 27th Taeyeon had concert in Japan with TYS and he didn’t even invite me to come watch it!
I knew it was because of my sister and I didn’t need any more added stress for the baby, but still! It was the thought that counts, right?
Whatever!
I was however finally able to test out one of the Christmas presents from my hubby while he was gone. Taeyeon somehow figured out a way to put the way he smells into a candle. It was crazy because it really did smell like him too! Not just kind of either, I’m talking exactly.
Apparently there’s a shop in Gangnam that lets you go in and create your own scented candles. I think he said that there were the regular scented candles that customers could just go in and buy like vanilla or apple or whatever but he wanted to create one that smelled like him so when he goes on trips I can still ‘have him around’.
It was definitely cheesy, but at the same time I couldn’t stop smiling when he explained it to me… until he brought up the fact that he had the employee at the shop actually sniff him to help him put it together that is. I couldn’t believe it. Actually I didn’t know how there wasn’t an article out about that…
Ugh he was such a weirdo… a very, very cute weirdo though.
He told me that he brought Sooyoung along to help too, but in the end he needed the help of a professional… whatever. I’ll just continue to picture her as a cute old lady instead of the attractive young lady she probably was.
On the 29th was Taeyeon’s next event, but this time I was supposed to be there too. Actually we all, and by all I mean almost everyone from SM, had a big performance at the SBS Musical Festival that day. My group along with Super Junior opened the whole show together and then there were a bunch of joint performances after that! Taeyeon and I even got the chance to sing ‘A Whole New World’ together. It was so much fun!
The big performance however came later when almost every artist at SM came together in one giant mini concert pretty much. It was intense and really cool to watch back on my computer at home. Seohyun played the piano during the opening along with some of the other artists that can play instruments and she looked so elegant doing it too. After the music-y part, there was a dance solo with just Victoria and Yuri. They killed it as expected and so did the group that came after them containing Eunhyuk, Sooyoung, and Taemin.
Our SM dancers were amazing!
The next part of the video was so hard to watch I almost couldn’t. It was so embarrassing.
It was only me on the screen playing the flute and I looked so lame!
Yep, I’m gonna skip right over that and on to the next part where Jess and Sunny performed ‘T.O.P’ with the new girl group that’s getting ready to debut here soon. They were great and all, but the next portion of the performance was what I was really waiting for.
Taeyeon singing ‘Devil’s Cry’.
Oh. My. Gosh. It was seriously so y too.
Gah, even his short strut out to the front of the stage had me grinning. He had that look in his eyes like he wanted to devour the entire audience and I was so thankful I wasn’t closer to him when he came off stage that night. We might not have made it back in time for the finale.
Ugh, just watching it again on my lap top makes me-
“You’re watching that again?” I looked up from the screen to see Taeyeon’s eyes on mine and my face immediately flushed, I could feel it.
Damn these pregnancy hormones! They always made everything feel ten times more intense than it really was!
“I thought you didn’t want to watch yourself anymore,” Taeyeon grinned.
“I didn’t. I skipped my part,” I replied. He chuckled. “I just wanted to see yours again.”
“Aye~,” he held out playfully, while getting even closer. “Want me to reenact it?” I shook my head… but he ignored me and did it anyway.
Ugh.
“RUN~,” Taeyeon sang loudly. I jumped a little because I thought he would start from the beginning, or not be so loud, but once I got over it I couldn’t stop grinning.
How could he be so cute and annoying at the same time? It was seriously an art.
“Yah! I told you not to Kim Taeyeon.”
“RUUN~,” he sang again even louder and longer than the last time. I threatened him with my eyes, but it was no use. Taeyeon stood almost right in front of me and took a deep breath. I knew he was about to belt it out, but before he could sing another lyric I pulled on his shirt and made him fall right in my direction. He caught himself before he actually landed on me, but now his face was only inches away from mine.
Damnit.
My hand found its way to his collar in a flash and I pulled him lower until our lips met.
Once.
Twice.
Three-
“Hmmgh,” Taeyeon kind of cleared his throat as I went in for the next kiss, stopping me slightly. I pecked the corner of his mouth before he leaned back just a tad. “We should finish packing this stuff up Fany-ah.” I sighed.
I knew he was right, but I just wanted to keep kissing him over and over again! Ugh, I could probably kiss him all night… but I also knew that doing so would just torture my poor Taetae even more since we couldn’t finish what I was trying to start.
“Alright~,” I said sadly… even though it was partly my fault.
Kissing was okay for me, but anything that required more effort usually made me nauseous… even dancing! The other day at the SBS Music Festival I almost threw up after we performed ‘The Boys’! The opening number we did was pretty rough too now that I think about it, but the other two times I went on stage were fine thankfully.
“I know. Only a few more weeks and then you can have me whenever you want,” he grinned.
There was also his little three month rule that he had to abide to too… I thought it was adorable.
“And I will,” I assured. A devilish grin wiped over his face before he kissed me again.
“Last time I promise.”
And it really was, for a while that is.
Since it was a couple days after the New Year we decided that it was finally time to take the Christmas tree down. It was surprisingly easy too since the tree was not even taller than I am… and the fact that Taeyeon wouldn’t let me lift like anything…
“Should we put this in the box too?” I looked at what he was referring too and-
“Yah,” I instinctively shouted. “We aren’t putting that away at all.” He looked confused.
“But you told me to put the other thing away?” I sighed.
“Because that one is actually Christmas-y Taeyeon,” I explained.
He was talking about two presents he got me for Christmas, but they were definitely two completely different things.
The first one that I let him put up was an ornament… for a tree. Of course he would put that one away… even if it was really cute.
I don’t know where he got the idea to do this, but I’m assuming it was my sister. Whatever, either way I loved it.
Taeyeon took a few of the flowers from my wedding bouquet that we saved and dried out and put them in a clear glass ornament. It was about three quarters of the way full of pink petals of different shades with our wedding date in tiny silver numbers written toward the bottom and probably one of the cutest things I’ve ever received. It was really simple and one of only three ornaments on our tree this year…
Heol… that reminds me! We really needed to step up our Christmas tree game next year. Growing up I remember our tree being so full of ornaments that you could barely see the green in between!
The thing that I wouldn’t let him put away now was definitely on the cute list as well. Again, I’m sure he got the idea from Michelle but it was so adorable that I didn’t care where he got it from.
It was a picture frame with one of my favorite wedding photos of us in it, but it also had a tiny gap in between the glass and the picture. Not a lot of space of course, but just enough to be able to fill it with these tiny little plastic stars that came with it. The stars were then supposed to have some sort of significance behind them too.
Like ours for example has two pink stars in it to signify the two years we dated and one white star to represent our marriage. On our one year anniversary we’ll put in a red one and again every anniversary after that. It was really precious and Taeyeon got even more adorable when he said he had a few pink and blue stars too to represent all the kids we’re going to have in the future too.
What really sent me over the edge though was when he told me that he almost used jingle bells instead of stars for Christmas, but changed his mind in the end because, and I quote, ‘I was his star.’
AHH~!
I know it sounds mega cheesy and super cliché, but it was SO cute. Seriously, I teared up… that also could’ve been from all the hormones in my body right now too but whatever!
It was adorable and I loved it.
I loved him!
“Let’s keep the picture out all year,” I suggested. “That way we can add to it when Dukong is born.” His eyes lit up.
“Ah, that’s right! We wouldn’t be able to add another on our anniversary either!” I hummed.
“We wouldn’t.”
“Gah, Fany-ah, you’re a genius sometimes,” he said before planting a chaste kiss on my cheek. “Here, set it somewhere everyone can see it.” He laughed. “The more I get to show you off the better.”
Aigo~!
He was such a dork.
________________________________________
“What are you doing today,” the PD asked.
“Ah today,” I asked no one in particular. “Today I’m going on a date… a date with the person who knows me and my personality best,” I paused. “You’re curious aren’t you?” I laughed.
That was the whole prompt behind our ‘date’ episode of Showtime anyway. From the questions we had previously received from fans, one of them was about what we were like outside idol activities and who we were closest to besides our members. I was actually really excited for this one because Tiffany would finally get to be a guest!
“Right now my date is inside ordering drinks,” I said as I pointed to the cafe behind me. “I didn’t tell her what I wanted but since she knows me so well I think she’ll do perfect.”
“What if she doesn’t,” the PD asked.
Oh crap, I didn’t even think about that. What if her pregnancy hormones cause her to pick something weird for me?
“Uhm…well that could happen but I’ll believe in her,” I said as I held up a quick ‘fighting’ fist. “We’ve been friends for a couple years now so she knows pretty much everything about me,” I explained. The PD wanted me to make all my answers kind of vague so they could make it seem like it wasn’t Tiffany at first or something. I don’t know. I thought that it’d still be pretty obvious but I went with it anyway.
Hyung asked me to talk about random things to kill time while Fany got our drinks, but when I saw her walking this way through the glass door I had to stop mid-sentence.
“Ah everyone,” I sort of announced. “It’s finally time to meet my date who knows everything about me,” I said quickly right as Tiffany opened the door. “My wife SNSD’s Tiffany~! Yay~!” I cheered and clapped for her as she stepped down the few stairs but she just looked at me like I was crazy.
“Wait… are we already filming?” I hummed. Her eyes doubled in size. “Jinjja?” I hummed again, but this time she looked at the staff, like I was lying to her or something. I had to laugh.
“Yah~, do you not believe me?”
“Ani,” she said before quickly bowing toward the cameras. “Hello, I’m SNSD’s Tiffany and Taeyeon’s wife. It’s nice to finally be able to be on his show.” She bowed a few more times and I think my mouth already hurt from smiling… This was going to be an amazing day.
The PD was rushing us a little so I helped Tiffany get into our car, which was newly decked out with three small cameras. One focused on Tiffany’s side, one on mine and the third one was in the middle so it could see us both.
Hyung went over a few quick directions about what was going to happen and then another PD handed Tiffany a few of the cue cards. I assumed they probably had some questions on them that I had to answer while I drove or something along those lines.
Actually I was kind of bummed I didn’t get to talk to Fany alone again once we started shooting, but I guess since we were being recorded almost always and had mics on the whole time I really couldn’t talk to her about what I wanted too anyway.
I almost thought about asking the generic ‘are you feeling okay’, but I still figured that might be a little weird since it was obvious that she wasn’t like sick, sick…
Ugh, I’ll just have to figure something out later.
After a quick mic check and the ‘ok’ signal from the PD we were finally able to take off!
“Wah~,” Tiffany cheered. “Let’s go,” she said in English. I smiled and then put the car in drive.
We had only been driving for less than a minute but it already felt so weird.
“Driving this with all the cameras inside is really strange,” I told Fany. It really was too. Since this was supposed to let us get closer to fans and be more personal, the PD wanted me to drive my own car today. My manager didn’t like the idea of it at first, but once he looked online and saw that my fans have already figured out my license plate number, he didn’t see why not. I mean what else could they do? Put a tracker on it or somet- oh my gosh… what if they-
“I know,” Fany laughed, taking my mind off of other thoughts. “It doesn’t even feel like your car anymore.” I hummed.
“I like it though,” I lied. “It seems brand new now.”
I couldn’t wait for the cameras to be taken out.
“I like your car~,” she said cutely in English. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell she had an equally adorable smile too. We were both quiet for a few minutes after that since I really had to pay attention to the directions, but once I got to the highway it was smooth sailing.
“Oh I almost forgot,” Tiffany said out of nowhere. “Your drink is right here Tae.”
Heol… I actually did forget about it.
“Thank you,” I said as I picked it up out of the cup holder. “What is it?”
“One pump Americano and three pumps of the syrup… like always,” she replied. I grinned. I knew sh- “Why? Did you want something else?” I quickly shook my head and explained that that wasn’t it at all. I told her about how I told the camera before that I trusted her in picking my drink and I was just happy she got something I liked.
“Ahh, of course I know,” she said playfully. “I’m his best friend. It’s my job to know.” I laughed, but when I saw her take a drink of what seemed like an iced coffee my expression dropped.
She wasn’t supposed to have coffee! Caffeine was bad for the baby or something! I don’t remember how or why but I do remember that it is!
“What is that,” I asked immediately. I almost said something else but then remembered that we were being recorded by three cameras and that our fans are like the FBI... honestly.
“It’s a Mango Black Tea Lemonade,” she said in her perfect English. I let out a deep breath of relief. “I almost got the Strawberry Acai Refresher but I changed my mind last minute.” She said the second name in English too and felt the sudden urge to .
She knows this is a Korean show, right?
“Er-sha-sher-ta-ber-washasha~,” I mimicked before bursting into laughter. She laughed too but I could definitely see her little pouty smile out of the corner of my eye.
Aigo~, my sensitive little Fany-ah… What am I gonna do with her?
“I’m just teasing Fany-ah~,” I clarified.
“I know,” she said cutely.
Ugh… that smile is deadly.
“Do you want to try mine?” I hummed. Why not?
“Sure.” I took a sip of the drink she held out to me… and then instantly regretted it. Oh my god. “Yahh-ahh~,” I sounded in disgust. “That’s so bad.”
Like seriously bad. How could she even drink that crap? It was way too bitter!
“Nuh-uh~,” she replied. “I like it.” I shook my head and thankfully Tiffany changed the subject. “Where are we going anyway?”
Actually she might’ve just read from the cue cards, but either way it got us off the subject of that gross tea.
“Somewhere we’ve been before,” I replied coolly.
I couldn’t just straight up tell her now could I? This was a variety show after all…
“Yah, that could be a ton of places,” she whined. “Give me a hint.” I hummed.
“Okay… it’s somewhere where we’ve been before, but we weren’t alone.”
“Huh?” I took a quick glance at her cutely confused face and just laughed.
“And it has animals.”
“Animals? Where did we go that had- Omo,” she paused. “Are we going to Everland?” I nodded. “Seriously?!”
“Yep,” I confirmed with another nod. “But only for the zoo part. I want to look at the animals.”
Annd she wouldn’t be allowed to ride any of the rides anyway so that was the perfect excuse.
“Wah Tae~,” she cheered as she shook my non driving arm. “This is amazing! I’ve wanted to go back there for so long,” she announced. I nodded.
“I know, and so did I. We didn’t get to look at almost any of the other animals last time because Hayeon wanted to ride everything.”
I quickly gave the camera a quick summary of the backstory and how Hayeon wanted to ride all the rides, just so they knew what we were even talking about.
“Oh my gosh, can we buy the animal hats and wear them around too?” I grinned.
“Of course~, whatever you want to do babe.” I heard her cheer again and I really couldn’t take it.
I couldn’t wait to for everyone to see just how cute my Fany is.
“Are Sooyoung and Yuri going to be there too?”
“Nope,” I said with a quick shake of my head. “Just us!” She playfully ‘ooh’d’.
“Are they going on dates for the show too though?”
“Kinda,” I replied. I told her about how Sooyoung is going on a musical ‘date’ with his older sister who actually does musicals and she thought it was cute, but when I told her that Yuri is going on a friend ‘date’ with Im Yoona, her expression was a little too readable.
C’mon now Fany, I groaned in my head. We both knew there were already rumors of Yuri and Yoona having a ‘thing’ behind Jessica’s back and with that kind of a reaction it would just feed the fire behind it…
Ugh. Quick Taeyeon think!
“I know,” I agreed. “I don’t know why Yuri and Jessica have to be so secretive… it’s not like they’re spies,” I laughed. “Why are we the only couple going on dates like this?”
“You’re right,” Tiffany adorably agreed, thankfully catching on to my quick fix. “Maybe we should be more secretive too…” She had a cute inquisitive look on her face while she tapped her chin playfully, but hearing her say that aloud didn’t sound too bad…like at all.
I don’t know why but ever since I married Tiffany and especially since I found out that she’s pregnant I’ve been seriously thinking that we should be less exposed as a couple. Maybe Yuri and Jessica were doing it right. I mean the less that people know about us the less they have to hate about us, right?
That and the simple fact that I just don’t want every single thing in my life exposed right now! It’s even scary to think about!
Oh well. All I know is that when that baby is born, she or he will not be on TV for years, if ever.
________________________________________
“I still don’t see why we can’t get a pet tiger,” I told Taeyeon in the car.
We were talking about last night’s episode of Showtime which was finally the one where we went to the zoo! Taeyeon’s manager told him this morning that it had tons of positive comments about TYS and Taeyeon and I specifically.
I was so glad to hear that too. I was a little worried at first honestly. No one pointed out that I looked a little bigger either, but we were wearing winter coats most of the time so they probably didn’t notice. I also heard that there were a lot of comments talking about how cute we were as a couple and I wanted to just comment back on every single one with a huge ‘DUH’.
How didn’t they see that before?
The comments made me feel really good about going on the show and I was just sincerely hoping my fans felt the same way… or at least my fans that still hated Taeyeon that is.
Maybe it would help show the ‘fans’ that still think Taeyeon is using me to get more famous just how wrong they were... I thought it was pretty clear by now… unless he actually is doing that and just one hell of an actor.
Kidding!
Taeyeon can’t even lie to me about something small, let alone orchestrate a huge intricate plan to seduce me and vie for my fame… even though he totally didn’t need it. TYS was plenty famous on their own these days. I always see them being put on the same level as SHINee and Big Bang are so they have to be doing something right.
Some of my ‘fans’ were seriously nuts!
The fans that liked watching us though, I couldn’t blame.
We were pretty cute.
I watched the episode last night with Sunny since Taeyeon and Sooyoung were busy recording and I was really happy with how it turned out. It showed Taeyeon and I buying our cute white tiger eared hats and feeding the polar bears little gross fish treats, and it even showed when we got to play with the baby animals too! It was probably the highlight of the entire episode to be honest.
All the animals were adorable, but there was one that stole my heart.
I got to feed and hold the cutest baby tiger in the world and I really think if my purse would have been any bigger I might’ve tried to take him with me. He was SO cute!!
“Because it’s a tiger babe,” Taeyeon laughed. “If they stayed small like that I’d be right there with you, but those things get huge. Like hundreds of pounds Fany-ah… It’d take up our whole bed.”
Oh my gosh. Just imagining that little guy running around our house with his dumb little paws killed me!
“So~,” I countered. “Paris Hilton had a pet tiger.” Taeyeon sighed.
“We’re not getting a pet tiger babe. It would eat Dukong whole and then have us for dinner.”
Aish… he just has to take the fun out of everything doesn’t he?
I was just trying to keep my mind off of where we were going right now so I didn’t start to freak out, but I don’t think it was working very well anyway. I couldn’t stop thinking about seeing o-
“And plus you’d probably scare him away with your weird hair color,” Taeyeon teased.
“Yah,” I playfully snapped. I almost opened my mouth to tell him that he was wrong, but unfortunately I don’t think he was.
Last week SM had me dye my hair so we could record a few new music videos and to put it nicely; the hairstylist definitely needed fired.
They were going for a light brown almost blonde, but what I got stuck with was this not cute orangeish-brown color that I seriously hated. It was way better than the weird blonde of the ‘Hoot’ era, but it was still pretty bad.
What was even worse was that I had to be in two different music videos with this hair color because I couldn’t dye it again for a few weeks!
In the next few months we were going to be releasing a couple songs that we recorded in Japan a while ago, but we wouldn’t be able to film the MVs later with me looking like I’ve swallowed a pumpkin. Instead SM decided to film all of them as soon as we possibly could.
Actually we almost recorded a third MV while we were there but the set for it wasn’t built completely yet so that recording got pushed back a couple weeks… and now that we’re pushing it back, the costume lady is definitely going to have to sew some ruffles on the front of my outfit so I don’t look bigger than I already do.
We spent three days in Japan filming and then the next day in Hong Kong for our tour! It was all really fun and exciting, but also so, so exhausting... and I really missed my Taeyeon too! It’s seriously strange how addicting a person can be. Like I even missed the sound of his breathing when I went to sleep by myself…
Love is weird.
I think I’ll stay pretty busy for the next few weeks too unfortunately, but my last schedule is on February 5th and I was literally counting down the days.
Actually I couldn’t believe SM was going along with everything so well. Taeyeon and I met with Lee Sooman after I got back from Hong Kong and he was being surprisingly helpful… even though two of his artists are having a baby and potentially putting two of his more popular groups in a huge situation…
Ugh, I didn’t even want to think about that right now.
Anyway, LSM told us how he, and whoever else was involved, moved all my schedules up and even canceled a few of them for me too. If I remember right he said that everything that hasn’t been planned for months has already been canceled.
I got out of an upcoming photoshoot because Seohyun took my spot, but the last recording for ‘SNSD and the Dangerous Boys’ was coming up along with a few award shows and a quick trip to the states to promote our English version of ‘The Boys’ and I couldn’t get out of any of those… not that I wanted to anyway.
I couldn’t wait to go to America to perform! Honestly I really wanted to go longer in general and maybe even do one more concert before I had to stop but I was just getting tired so much easier these days. I seriously don’t think I’d be able to handle another concert like the one in Hong Kong.
I didn’t feel dizzy or like I was going to pass out or anything which made me feel mentally better about everything but I definitely felt like I needed a twenty minute nap in between each song.
Ugh, why couldn’t I just hibernate these next six months? I think it would make everything so much-
“We’re here,” Taeyeon said softly, completely bringing me out of my thoughts.
Oh my god.
Were we? I looked around the dimly lit parking garage and then back to Taeyeon.
Uhm…
“Are you… sure?”
Not to be one way or the other, but this place looked pretty sketchy. Could we really trust them with something like this? Taeyeon hummed.
“We go right up that red elevator to the second floor and we’ll be there.” My stomach flipped.
It was that close?! Holy moly… How was Taeyeon so calm right now? I was about to explode!
Today is the day that we’re going to see our baby for the first time and I think I might throw up… from the excitement. Not because I’m seeing the baby or anything… Oh my gosh, I’m already losing it.
I felt his hand on mine and then heard his soft voice once more.
“Are you ready?” I hummed even though I don’t think I was.
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I replied truthfully. He kissed my hand.
“It’s gonna be fine,” he smiled. “Let’s go!” I nodded again and then waited like I was told so he could open the door for me. It was a cute gesture, but nothing was going to shake my nerves now.
I was so scared!
Well, maybe not scared but definitely anxious… nervous… excited… gah! I just don’t know the right word for this.
We were about to see our baby! Our actual baby! Er well, through the ultrasound I mean, but still!
Taeyeon held my hand the whole ride up the elevator and even into the reception area of the clinic.
We decided a few weeks ago to find doctor that’s still good, but doesn’t work in a hospital. Dr. Kang was awesome and everything but we couldn’t just be popping in to a hospital every month for the next six months… That would be super suspicious.
He understood and even helped us find another doctor that would be more suitable for us, which I thought was super nice of him to do!
Taeyeon let go of my hand to sign us in on the waiting sheet, but the nurse working the counter stopped him before he even started.
“You don’t have to do that Mr. Kim,” she smiled. “Dr. Kang and Dr. Ha have both informed us that privacy is of the utmost importance with you two. Don’t worry about signing in, I’ll tell the doctor that you’re here.”
“Ah, n-ne,” Taeyeon stuttered.
Thankfully the waiting room was empty too. It kind of felt like it was on purpose, and I kind of felt bad about everyone having to go through so much trouble for us… but also I did not need the world knowing I’m pregnant yet; that would not be fun.
I wanted to say something to Taeyeon, anything just to break out of this painful silence really, but I couldn’t. I was just so nervous for some reason… It’s not like I haven’t known about the baby being there for a while or anything. I just… I don’t know!
Something about actually seeing it made me-
“Oh my god,” Taeyeon whisper yelled, pulling me from my thoughts. “Our baby has little fingers already Fany-ah.” I looked over to see him reading a booklet he must’ve found somewhere and just grinned.
Words couldn’t explain how happy I was that he was here. With that dose of cuteness alone I already felt a little calmer.
I think if I would’ve had to come to this by myself I would probably cry… and not even in the happy way. I put my head on his shoulder so I could see the page too.
“Really,” I asked softly. He hummed.
“It says that they were webbed until now though,” he chuckled. “Like a little duck.”
It was so crazy to even think about. I mean I was creating a person inside of me… INSIDE of me. How weird was that? Gah, It was even weirder to think about how this adorable man beside me whom I loved so much, helped put it there…
This was truly a miracle.
“What else does it say,” I asked curiously. I would’ve read ahead myself since the page was wide open, but I had no idea what some of the more technical terms meant. If there was an English version here somewhere I bet I could have crushed it, but some of the fancy Korean words were just too much for me… and it was pretty cute to hear Taeyeon so happy about this. It made me feel so much better.
“Hmm, it says by the end of next week its ears should be in the right place and- oh my god,” he said preciously. “Its little finger nails will start to grow too~!” He had the cutest look on his face, but that last one honestly kind of freaked me out.
I mean yeah little fingernails are probably adorable, but what if it like… scratched me? Is that even possible? Oh my god, my stomach felt weird just imagining it.
Being scratched from the inside? Holy- That’s some scary movie kind of stuff right there… I had to ask.
“Do you-“
“Mr. and Mrs. Kim,” the nurse interrupted. I looked straight at her.
Oh god.
“We’re ready for you now. You two can follow me back and we’ll get started right away.” I nodded.
Oh no, it was happening.
Taeyeon hopped up within a second and before I knew it, we were already in the room.
Oh my gosh. Did I black out on the way in here or something? Why was everything happening so fast? It all felt like a blur!
“Hello,” greeted the lady waiting in the room. “I’m Ha Minkyung and I’ll be your doctor from here on out.” She smiled and quickly explained that our old doctor, who turned out to be our new doctor’s husband, had already sent over all our files and results so far. No wonder Dr. Kang referred us to her… it’s his wife!
Whatever, as long as she’s good!
“And~ I’ll be doing your ultrasound today,” Dr. Ha said cheerfully. “Are you guys excited? My husband said that it’s your first time!” I nodded while I heard Taeyeon say ‘yes’ faintly.
He introduced us to the woman and she did not waste any time.
“Great, now if you could just set your things down over on that counter and have a seat over here, we can go ahead and get started. I’m sure you two are excited.”
I felt nervous and almost bubbly… like my stomach was upset or something. Don’t get me wrong, I was really excited to finally see our little Dukong, but seeing it would just make everything seem so much more… more… real? Nerve-racking? Scary? Crazy?
All of them worked for this situation and I was just so glad when Taeyeon got back to my side after setting my purse on the counter like she instructed.
His hand fit in mine like a glove and gave me all the strength I needed.
I could do this!
“Okay now if you could scoot a little closer to me,” the doctor instructed. I didn’t hesitate. “And then bring your jeans down to about here,” she said as she touched my lower abdomen. “We need to get a good look at your tummy there.”
I know she was being super nice and what not but everything was such a blur in my mind right now I probably couldn’t even tell you what her name was.
I just wanted to see my baby.
As soon as I pulled my jeans down a little, thank god they were already low rise; the doctor got out this gel kind of stuff and put it on my stomach.
I was a little let down it wasn’t freezing cold like it was in like every movie I’ve ever seen an ultrasound being performed in. Seriously I couldn’t tell you one time where the woman didn’t jump or react to the ‘cold’ gel. The doctors even usually warned the women too!
Wow, Hollywood. Thanks for that ruined expectation…
My disappointment was however very short lived.
The woman got the hand held wand looking kind of thing and moved it to my stomach. There was one screen on the wall in front of me so I didn’t have to strain my neck and another one near my head that Taeyeon was focused on like a hawk.
I watched the one in front of me as weird shapes started appearing, but when she moved the wand just an inch to the left I-
“Oh my god,” Taeyeon said immediately in awe.
He took the words right out of my mouth.
Before all I saw were weird shaped blobs and they were literally just nonsensical shapes, but now… now I could totally tell it was a tiny little baby!
Our baby!
Oh my god… Taeyeon and I made that little thing! It was inside of me!
It was really there.
I could make out the head and its body, which were surprisingly almost the same size, and then I saw little things stemming from that which had to be its cute little arms and legs and oh my gosh! I felt all this love within me I didn’t even know I had!
My heart was beating so fast right now I know Dukong had to feel it.
I looked at Taeyeon, who was still looking at the screen, and I could see his eyes already watering up. Oh my, right then and there I knew it was a lost cause. I was going to try to hold my tears back, but seeing him this emotional just added to my emotional-ness… if that even made sense.
I watched him wipe away a stray tear but when he saw that I caught him his smile got so big I had to grin with him.
“What do you think Fany-ah,” he asked with a crackly voice… which killed me even more.
“Its amazing babe,” I managed to say before the waterworks finally came.
Ugh… Damnit Taeyeon!
“Yah~,” I groaned while squeezing his hand. “Seeing you cry is making me cry more!” He chuckled and I think I even heard the nurse laugh too, but I didn’t care. I looked back to our baby and tried to take it all in.
It’s little head, its little feet… even its little heartbeat that the technician zoomed in on to let us hear. That one made us tear up again, but we couldn’t help it! Or at least I couldn’t.
These stupid hormones on top of all this newfound love for my little Dukong… ugh. This was seriously incredible.
I knew I loved it before, I mean how could I not? It’s a tiny creation that Taeyeon and I made together, but nothing compared to my feelings for it now. Maybe it was because I’m finally seeing it with my own two eyes or something but now it actually felt real! Like now I had an actual person to love rather than just the idea of having a baby inside of me?
I don’t know how to explain it but whatever it was though, was incredible. It pulled me right out of my nervousness and now I was more curious than ever… Taeyeon too.
He asked so many questions that the lady probably thought we were clueless! He asked this and that and how big it was and if they could tell if it was a girl or boy yet, which they couldn’t unfortunately. Well she actually said that she could’ve tried and sometimes she could tell this early, but it wasn’t going to be 100%... and then little Dukong was kind of hiding in the first place so she couldn’t even see enough to make a good guess.
Next time Dukong, next time.
What really got our attention though was when it started moving!
I couldn’t believe it was so active. I didn’t even know they were that active. I thought they just kinda hung out until they were born. I even asked the lady because I was kind of worried.
She said that it was fine though and that babies usually move a lot! Hearing that I figured that it must have been asleep at first or something because now it wouldn’t stop moving!
“Can you feel that,” Taeyeon asked me as the baby’s legs started moving. I shook my head. I couldn’t feel a thing!
“No, she probably won’t start feeling it move for another two to three weeks,” the doctor explained. “It’s still pretty tiny so it has all that extra room to move in right now. When it starts to get bigger and its room gets more confined, then she’ll start to feel it dancing.” I laughed.
Dancing?
It really did seem like Dukong was dancing too. Omo, maybe it was putting on a show for us since it knew we were watching… its parents were both performers after all!
________________________________________
I waited for Tiffany in the waiting room, but I couldn’t take my eyes off the picture of our baby!
The technician gave us about five or six different printouts of Dukong along with a recording of the whole ultrasound on a DVD... which I probably needed to watch about twenty times when I got home. They even put a recording of Dukong’s precious heartbeat on a CD for us and I was seriously considering making it my ringtone... but then I might not ever answer a call if I’m busy listening to my-
“Ahem,” a husky voice pulled me from my head and I saw my lovely wife looking right back at me.
Omo!
“Are you already done?” She nodded.
“Yep. We can leave now.” I jumped up and took her hand in mine.
“Good! Let’s go get something to eat.” I was starving and I knew she had to be too! We were both way too nervous to eat this morning!
We thanked the staff at the front desk again walked right into the elevator.
“How did everything go?” For some reason Tiffany had to get her blood drawn so they could do more testing and stuff. She said I could go sit in the waiting room if I wanted to though so I did. Blood really isn’t my thing and I really had to use the bathroom anyway so…
Sorry babe, I still love you!
“It actually hurt this time! It like stung,” she complained.
“Aww babe,” I said instinctively. “I’m sorry. I should have stayed with you.”
Damn, now I felt bad…
“Ani, it’s okay, the tube just went in this way,” she said while making a few hand movements. “And came out this way instead of this way.”
It might sound confusing, but I totally understood what she was talking about.
It must be the marriage bond.
What it sounded like to me though was that the person literally just did everything upside down…. What the-
“I think they were new,” she said sassily yet secretively, like the nurses could still hear us somehow. I cracked up!
Oh my gosh, that one got me good. She was so funny sometimes and I don’t even think she realized it.
“Aww baby,” I laughed again. “The things you do for our Dukong.” She grinned.
“I know~, this thing better seriously love me when it comes out.”
Aigo~! I let her in the car, making sure she didn’t hit her head and quickly went over to my side.
“You know it will baby,” I continued. “And I will too~.”
“Good,” she said adorably. “Wah~! Taeyeon~, we have a baby!” I hummed and threw the car into reverse. I was on cloud nine… but also starving.
“We sure do… and we’ll get to meet it a week sooner apparently,” I commented after remembering what the doctor said.
Going in we thought Tiffany was about ten weeks along maybe ten and a half, but to our surprise she was eleven weeks… almost twelve actually. I think she said like eleven weeks and five days or something?
I don’t know, all that meant to me was that we definitely didn’t conceive Dukong on our wedding night like we originally thought.
“Omo, do you think we made it in NYC? When you were sick?”
Heol…
“Maybe… That would definitely make me feel a lot better about that whole NYC trip,” I laughed. Tiffany immediately grabbed my thigh.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry Tae. I totally wasn’t-“
“It’s okay babe,” I said truthfully.
Yeah those few days weren’t the best, but it’s not like I could go back and change them… and if we got Dukong out of it how could I be mad?
“Ugh, no its not. I’m totally gonna kill that girl if we see her in NYC again. You have to tell me which one she is if she shows up, okay?”
Was she crazy?
“No way babe. Not now especially,” I laughed.
“What? Why not?!”
Oh my god… seriously? My Tiffany was definitely not dumb, but her common sense was a little lacking…
“You just said you were gonna fight her if you saw her! I can’t let your pregnant self get hurt!”
“Ugh,” she groaned again. “I’m not gonna fight her, I’m going to kill her. Kill Taeyeon! She hurt my favorite person in the world. I can’t let her get away with that.”
While her comment made my heart swell, I couldn’t let her win.
“Well you’re gonna have too.”
“Hmmph,” she sounded with a pout. “Turn here. I want to eat at that café in Hongdae with the big door.”
It took a lot of effort for me not to laugh, but I couldn’t help it. She was so cute. Angrily telling me which way to go because she was hungry? Gah, she was seriously something else.
________________________________________
I'm a horrible person, I know!
I keep telling you all I'll be quicker and never am.
SO this time I won't promise, but I will really try my hardest.
I've been having to work like all the time so I will blame it partially on that, but it's mainly my own fault and I'm sorry!
<3
Please don't hate me too much!
Also, if you have any suggestions or wants/hopes for the story please don't be shy!
I love hearing all your thoughts!
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