~ Kim Myungsoo ~

I was distracted by the weather but when I glanced down I immediately recognized him. The lonely figure sitting on a bench in the park. He was barely visible from my point of view, there were trees shielding him and it was already dark outside but somehow I knew. I was sure it was him. My first instinct was to dash after him but I stopped myself. What is he doing there? He didn't have an umbrella so he must be soaked. Isn't he cold?

Oh... He must be worried. I am having so much trouble trying to keep myself in check I haven't been paying much attention to him. What would I do if the was the one kidnapped? My knees go weak and I sit down on my bed. I would go crazy. Certainly. I can clearly remember him in the hospital. How much that accident affected me. Him being kidnapped and tortured in the way I was... I wouldn't withstand it. For the first time I am happy it was me. Thank God he captured me. I would rather go through it all again than see Sungyeol hurt.

So I wait and watch him sitting there. What must be going through his head? If he is not coming back it means he is keeping a distance between the two us. Does it mean he is scared to be with me? But why? Ever since I was rescued, he stayed glued to my side so why the sudden change? The time is passing and I decide to go out. Who knows how long has he been sitting there before I noticed him. He could catch a cold. 

He is startled when I approach him but I am not surprised. He was really lost in thought. We exchange a few words and he follows me back in. As soon as we get in, I rush him into the shower. He is freezing, that idiot. While he is showering, I make him a cup of hot milk. My mom used to say it helps you calm down. He comes in a bathrobe but he is still shivering. I guide him to our room, into his bed and give him the cup. I sit next to him. Our shoulders brushing and we silently sip the milk.

"I'm sorry." I say and he freezes.

"What for?"

"For worrying you. I... I'm trying, you know. I'm really trying not to be shaken by this but it's not something you can just walk away from. So I am kinda preoccupied dealing with myself and I haven't realized everyone else must be having a hard time too. Especially you. I should have noticed. So I'm sorry."

"Don't say that. It's not like that."

"Really? Then why are you sitting outside, getting all wet? Why don't you talk to me?"

"Myungsoo... I... You said it yourself. You have enough to deal with as it is why would I stress you even more with my petite troubles?"

"They are not small and you know it. There is something bothering you and I understand. Believe me. So stay with me okay? We are going crazy together but we will find a way."

He smiles at me and I pray for my words to become true because I don't believe them any more than him. We are not okay and I am starting to fear, we will never be again.

~ to be continued ~
 

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