***

Myungsoo POV

I couldn't believe it. How...? I start shaking. Should I scream? Is he here? Am I alone? I... My eyes go cold. I am burned-out. Before I would freak, panic but not anymore. My heart is too dead for that now. I am still scared but I can no longer manifest that fear. It's something burried deep down in me. I look around but there is no one here. I exit the room and ask:

"Is someone here?"

I receive no answer. I go from room to room but everyone's out. It's quiet. And dark. I have the lights on but still... I take a breath and try to think about this.

Who...? Could he...?

I shake my head. They've got him. He was waiting for his trial in jail. He was deemed too dangerous to let be freely. Could someone got him out? Could he escape? If so... wouldn't they warn us?

I dial the police.

"Hello. This is Kim Myungsoo speaking. I am sorry for calling so late but I was just wondering if there are any news regarding my kidnapping accident."

"Ah, Myungsoo-nah. How are you? Don't worry, we will let you know if you need to testify again. For now, we have enough evidence and your statements from before are sufficient. He is still locked up and the trial should be in two weeks. Why? Is something the matter?"

"No. Everything's fine. Thank you, officer."

I hang up. It's not him. I feel relieved and at the same time not. Because now the question is... if it's not him then WHO? 

It's better to face the enemy you know or the one you don't? 

Through this all, I remain quite calm. No hysterics, no paralysis. But then I look at my hands and they are shaking. What am I going to do? I couldn't handle the pressure when I was still okay how am I supposed to face this when I am so broken?

I sit down on the couch in our living room, feeling defeated. There is no point. No hope. Nothing. All I can do is accept and ignore. I continue to sit there and stare at nothing until the members return. The first one to approach me is our leader.

"Yah, Myungsoo. What are you doing here? Why are you not sleeping?"

I look at him and blink. Did he just asked me something?

"Ah, Myungsoo." He hugs me. Sunggyu doesn't always express himself much but he is a good leader. He cares about us a lot and I should feel uncomfortable, scared even but his strong arms around me feel like the one of a father or an older brother and I feel warm. Not like with Sungyeol when I melt in his embrace every time but like a child lost in the hug of a parent. I smile and burrow my head into his chest, inhaling the strong smell. My eyes feel heavy and in a matter of seconds I fall asleep in his embrace. 

***

Sungyeol POV

I return with the rest of the members. We had a quick unscheduled dance practice tonight just to be sure our performance is awesome. And it hurts but we actually needed to practice without Myungsoo in case he is not able to attend some of our activities due to the conflicting schedule. I am scared to see him and when I notice him, not sleeping but sitting on that couch with such a lost expression... Ah. What am I gonna do?

Sunggyu takes the lead as a leader should and go comfort him. I know, I shouldn't but I actually hoped Myungsoo would push him away. I am the only one he feels comfortable with. But he doesn't. He relaxes and fall asleep in Sunggyu's arms. I tell myself I am an idiot but my heart hurts.

Ah. What am I doing? What do I hope to achieve? 

You see...

I should have gone to him the moment I laid eyes on him. But I couldn't... I froze.

Because...

I felt guilty.

***

to be continued