***

written in ? POV

(guess who?)

I am a fool. I don't want to repeat what was already done. I am no copycat. I want to end him once and for all. No more meaningless torture. My game has simple rules. Fear? What's that? Can he even still feel it? I doubt it. No. Fear will come later. It will be a natural part of the process. However, I need to accomplish something different. I need him to fall for me. To trust me. To gain hope that not all stalkers are bad. Maybe some are there to help him. To protect him. To restore his faith in his fans. I want him to feel loved. Even if the love is sick and twisted and manifested through his deepest scar. 

I want to erase that wound. To clean his memories, his psyche and then I will strike and leave my own mark. Unique and beautiful. My personal handprint on his mind. He will forever belong to me. Never free, never himself anymore. It's a dangerous plan but it excites me like nothing else ever could. 

However... something feels off. My plan was set into motion without any problems. I was working slowly, carefully and then... what happened? He is pulling away. Loosing himself in a way I have not predicted. How? Why? This is not it. It's too fast. Too uncoordinated. And... is it a presence I feel? Is someone else after him? Who would dare...?

What will I do now?

***

written in Myungsoo POV

I am in the bathroom observing myself in the mirror. Is this me? I touch the glass. It feels cold. The last few days I was... keeping track of everything. The time, the people I've met, the things I've done... There were no loopholes, no empty spaces. According to my research on the net, that means I am not crazy. I am still not convinced though. Am I hallucinating then? Or is this some weird form of post traumatic stress disorder? Or... maybe someone stole the note. Maybe someone hacked my phone. Is that possible? Could it be the stalker himself? Or...? I leave the question hanging. 

I exit the bathroom, feeling exhausted. Should I go to sleep? I check the time. It's only 9PM. Too early. It's very unusual for me to be home at this time but there was no group schedule and we had to stop shooting because there was some kind of cameras malfunction. The members were out. I believe for the dinner. I am sure some will go shopping later and some will go drinking. This is their first night off in forever. I could have phone them and inform them about the change in my schedule and join the fun but... I am not in the mood. 

I go to the living room and turn on the TV. I am not really watching it, I just want the background noise. It feels weird to sit alone in quiet like that. It makes you look as if you were crazy. And if the members found me like that they would worry. I will go to bed soon. Probably before they return but for a while I continue to sit there. Just killing time. 

Will I be ever okay? If I keep on doing these normal things like eating, sleeping, working, watching the TV... will I eventually become like the old me? Is there any hope left for me? At times, I was sure I am gone. There is no salvation. I hit the bottom and I can't get back up. I can pretend, I can lie but it will never feel right anymore. I will be never right anymore because I was broken into such a tiny pieces I can't put them all back together. They will never form the perfect picture. There will be always some of them missing, some will not fit together and some will cut me or they will cut those around me. But then I talk to Sungyeol and I want it all back. He is lost too. Struggling. Fighting. I want us to stop being so damn wrong. For him, I wish to restore my faith and believe that in time everything will be fine. Can't I hope at least?

I place a hand on my chest over my heart. It's still beating. I am still alive. After everything... I am still here. Maybe I am going crazy, maybe I am forever lost but I haven't died yet. Sungyeol still loves me and I can't let him down. I can't disappoint him. I have hurt him too much already. I can't... I ball my hands into fists. The fight is not over yet. Come at me, you stalker son of a . We will see who will win this time. 

If you experience true pain it will influence you. And sometimes it can make you stronger. I am not afraid anymore. He wanted me to fear him? Hah. Fear... Ah, yes, I remember. I know that feeling but... I will never fear him. Maybe he should start to fear me. 

I get a notebook and write a note, placing it carefully at the same spot I hid the note from the stalker. Whoever took that note, will see this too. 

If you are looking at me, haven't you noticed? The darkness lurking in me. My demons are out. There is nowhere you can hide now. 

***

to be continued