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written in Myungsoo POV

I stare blankly at my phone. This is it? I want to laugh but my lips don't even turn into a smile. After all that happened, the ending seems lacking. If my life was a drama, the fans would say it was rushed and not thought through. But this is not a drama and I may not even be the main character. I sigh. Life can be so cruel. It gives you hope, makes you happy only to take everything back the next day, leaving you desperate. 

I've been saved once. My nightmare ended but I struggled to wake up from it. And then before I could completely awaken, I was thrown into another one. But now it was over. All of it. 

I've read somewhere, that stalking represents an obsessive behaviour of an individual. The victim is usually someone he knows or is for some reason famous. It became a criminal offence since unwanted attention, usually including following the victim, is considered to be a breach of privacy. Moreover, there is a thin line between stalking and harassment or even violence. 

It takes only a moment from love to turn into hate. Once the stalker snaps, the victim is done for. There are many records of murders and associated with the stalking. I am also in the statistics. My first stalker breached the line and even though he still claimed to love me, his love was manifested in the sickest way possible. I will never be completely free from him but maybe I don't need to be. 

I wanted to get my life back so much. I feared how will the others see me, how will the fans react. I struggled to appear normal, to hide the pain away but for what reason? What's done, cannot be undone. The time will never go back, my memories will never fade. I can't be the same person as before but maybe I can still be loved, still be accepted. I have never seen that possibility but looking at the papers in my hands and the message left on my phone, I feel incredibly stupid.

Sungyeol. The one person, I completely trust and love. I believed I knew him. I was sure, he was like an open book to me. I was so wrong. My hands tremble and the papers filled with his handwriting fall to the floor. Oh God. The purest soul was spoiled because of me. I would hate and blame myself if I didn't realize, that's exactly what made Sungyeol break. His confessions are painful to read. I know he never expected anyone to read them but when I accidently discovered the stash hidden under his bed, I couldn't help myself. Since he broke into my desk and read my confession too, even though much shorter, I can at least say we are now even. 

The tears start to fall again. Ah, my poor baby. He suffered so much. He was trying to pretend, fighting with himself. He is exactly the same as me. The darkness is swallowing us, bringing up our worst. I kneel down and gather the papers back up. Then I carefully place them on the desk. I am not hiding them. There is no point. It's time to face each other with the masks down.

I glance at my phone again. The SMS is still shown.

If you know yourself, then you will not be harmed by what is said about you. I hated you and pitied you. I've hurt you. I've made excuses for my behaviour but deep down I just never knew myself. Maybe there is nothing for me to know, maybe I am empty but this is not about me. My brother left you a scar, I couldn't heal. Perhaps, I have left you with yet another scar. I know my words mean nothing but I am sorry. As you receive this message, I am turning myself in. The game lost its appeal. Hah. It was never a game, was it? But you know... Where can you run to hide from yourself? In the last days, I've seen you like never before. I am not sure what was the cause of your change, maybe I played an important role too but please stop it. Don't hide. I am saying this from my personal experience, hoping I will mitigate the damage done by my brother and me. Live. Don't forgive. Don't forget. Don't fake yourself. Accept. Move on. Continue living. Goodbey, Myungsoo. May only good things happen to you from now on.

He is right. The world didn't end, the people didn't stop. The sun still rises in the morning, the shops open, the people wake up and the day is the same as before. It was only us who were trying to break the flow. I am lost in my thoughts when the door opens and Sungyeol walks in. He is a little pale, his eyes are sunken but he doesn't seem too tired or exhausted. As soon as he sees me and the papers on the table, he freezes and I can tell, he is seized with panic. I fear he will turn around and run away so I reach out to him. I put my hands on his shoulders and smile, even though my eyes are glassy again.

"Welcome home, Yeol."

~ to be continued ~