When one horror ends, another one begins.

written in ? POV

(guess who?)

***

I was lost. Everything I tried to accomplish vanished. My life was ruined. My goals, my dreams... all shattered to the pieces with no chance of sticking together ever again. What was I supposed to do? I wasn't even sad or disappointed. I just ... lost direction. I wandered around mindlessly. No thoughts, no feels, no needs. I watched people on the streets, I watched the abandoded cats and dogs look for food, I watched kids bully others and I watched the sun go down and the stars appear. 

Should I just die? Nobody cares about me. My existence is of no special purpose. I don't feel like dying though. I may not feel anything in particular but I still kinda like me. At least enough not to purposly harm myself. Revenge. Do I still want it? Would anything change? I lost my will to do anything. However, I can't continue to just exist. I need to focus on something.

So shall I...?

I chuckle. Maybe it will be fun. Maybe I will actually start to feel. I ponder about my plan and as my thoughts get concrete form I indeed start to feel something. The more realistic my plan is, the more excited I am. Who would have thought? Me, excited. I chuckle. Indeed. People can change. They do change. And sometimes they don't even know they are changing, sometimes the change just happens to them and sometimes it fixs them and other times it breaks them. Am I being fixed or broken now? Who knows... Who cares... I certainly don't. 

Let's do this!

***

written in Myunsoo POV

When I get to the dorm, I am drained. The shooting took a lot out of me and I am still slightly shaken. I've never thought myself to be exceptionally strong but I also never knew I was this weak. I decide to take a shower first. I hope it will wake me up a little and calm me down at the same time. I really feel better after coming out of the bathroom and I even feel like eating something. I am not sure if the others have schedules or are already sleeping but I haven't seen anyone since I've got back. It's pretty late so I don't really think much about it. 

I enter our small kitchen and open up the fridge. I immediately wrinkle my nose. There is a reason why we don't really eat inside much. Or when we do, we order something. Our fridge is a mess. I try to look for something to eat but fail. Most of the products are post their expiration date and I don't have energy to look through it. I close the fridge door with a sigh and go the snack cabinet. If I ate ramen, my face may swell in the morning so I settle for a few crackers and a chocolate bar. Ah, chocolate can make everything so much better. 

After I finish my impromptu dinner (or well brunch in the middle of the night), I yawn and head to my room. I wonder whether Sungyeol is inside or not. If he is, should I ask him to sleep with me again? Wouldn't it be weird? Once I enter the room, my dilemma is solved since he is nowhere to be seen. I sigh and feel disappointed. I didn't know he had a schedule so late today. Suddenly I worry he may be sitting somewhere outside alone again. Aish. He wouldn't be so stupid, would he? We promised to talk to each other so he wouldn't be moping by himself, right? 

I am torn between going to bed and calling him. I pace around the room, feeling suddenly nervous. I get my phone and type a quick message.

"Hey ^^ I am already back but you are not here. I am about to go to sleep so I just wanted to say Good night. Take care, Yeollie <3"

I press send and stare at the heart at the end. Huh. When did I put the heart in there? I facepalm. Jesus, Myungsoo, you are such an idiot sometimes. I shake my head and decide to go to sleep. I may be feeling slightly nervous right now but my body is tired. I need to rest. I get my blankets and stop. There is something on my pillow. It looks like a note. I smile. Oh, how sweet Yeollie. You left me a message. However, I feel a little unsettled. As if something was wrong. I get the note and the moment I read it, my heart stops beating. No... It can't be... Not again... I pale and stand frozen. 

"If I cannot inspire love, I will cause fear."

***

to be continued