~  2 weeks since Kim Myungsoo rescue  ~

written in Myungsoo POV (point of view)

My life is back to normal. I didn't expect them to give me time to recover. I've never got any before. No matter how sick or hurt you are, you can't rest for long. However this time... I... Why didn't he torture me physically more? I could have stayed in the hospital if I was injured more seriously. Ah. They gave me two days. Two days to rest at home after the release. How can they expect me to be fine after such a short time? Don't they think this is a trauma? 

Sure, I kept certain things to myself. No need to stress everyone. No need for them to know. It's my problem and I will deal with it but still. Even without my ... I don't know how to call them. Fears? I was stalked. I was kidnapped. I was tortured. And they want me to go practice and continue shooting? To act as a character that has too many inner scars... Wait. Is this their motive? Do they think that now when I know... I will act better? Can I finally channel my character? But won't that hurt me even more in the end? I sigh. 

Maybe I shouldn't have started this. I could be a farmer or a regular worker in some company. Would that make me happier? I don't know. I like Infinite. I like the members. I like the fans. I need to stop complaining. The psychiatrist told me to be positive. To always look at the bright side. So I should follow that advice. Let's just focus on work. I can ignore everything else. I CAN.

~  Lee Sungyeol  ~

I am so angry. I feel like killing someone. Preferably our CEO. How could he allow this? How is it even possible for him to start working?  I kick the bed and immediately regret it as my foot starts to hurt. Damn it. My hands tremble. We almost lost him. I almost... Everyone can see he is not alright. He is nowhere near alright.

He can't bear the darkness. We always need to turn on the lights. He refuses to eat but then he stuffs himself so much, he has trouble keeping the food down. He jumps if we move a little too fast. We can't stand behind him. And those are all just things we managed to see. How many of them are still hidden? 

Do you know what the scariest part is? Those are all just excuses. I try to make it sound as I am worried about Myungsoo and I want him to stay at the dorm for his own benefit... but that's not the main reason. It's me. I can't be apart from him. I thought I would go crazy when he was kept in the hospital and we were not allowed to see him. Ever since we got the approval, I didn't leave him. I even stayed with him in his family house. I simply need to see him. To know where he is and what is he doing. 

So even now, I am following him. I got a special permission to be with him on the set. But I can't always do that, can I? I have my own schedule, my own obligations... I am not his manager. I can't wander around the set. What will I do the next time he needs to go shooting? I pull my hair. What has happened to me?

~  to be continued ~

a/n: Hi :) So this is a short first chapter. I want to keep my promise so I am starting this fic. However, my schedule is kinda full till the end of the year so I assume the updates will be short and irregular. I hope, you will all understand. I assure you, I will try to update as much as I can. Since it was pointed out to me, I shouldn't always apologize, I am posting this apology and warning about the updates in the first chapter so I won't touch this subject later on only if absolutely necessary. I am really sorry but writing is "just a hobby" therefore I need to fulfill my other obligations before writing anything. My muse doesn't work if I am tired and I don't want to write something just for the sake of writing something. I want the story to be interesting, too. So please be patient. :) Thank you.