Don't Leave Me

Love For The Twinflower
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“You have no right to make a decision for me. You are not even my husband yet. Nobody can touch me if I don’t sign the damn consent form!”

Everyone in the room was shocked with Park Shin Hye’s sudden outburst. No one in the room dare to make a move or make a sound.

Min Ho looked at her in disbelief and his chest was now panting heavily, trying to get some hair through his lungs. This is going to be a tough battle for him because he understands this woman very well. When she choose to be stubborn and decided on something, it won’t be easy to change her mind. He then turned to Song Seung Heon, Jo In Sung and Jin Se Yeon.

“Can you guys leave us alone for a while? I need to talk to her.” Min Ho said, breaking the awkward tension.

Se Yeon who was still holding Shin Hye’s hand glanced at Min Ho before looking back at Shin Hye. She stood up but before she goes, she squeezed her best friend’s hand softly. “I know you are suffering but he is very worried about you. Don’t fight with him. Don’t do anything that you will regret, arasso?”

Shin Hye bit her lip, holding her tears as she nodded her head.

When three of them were out of the room, there was a long silence before Min Ho slowly walked towards the bed and sit down beside her.

Shin Hye turned to him and when their eyes met, she couldn’t hold it anymore. Her tears rolled down uncontrollably.

Min Ho didn’t do anything to soothe her but just sit there and looked at her. Although he tried to stay expressionless but the pain in his eyes were evident.

“I-I’m sorry…” Shin Hye broke the silence first. “I didn’t mean to…”

“Do you know how much you hurt me by saying those words just now?” Min Ho cut her off.

“I’m sorry…” This was the only words that Shin Hye could say now.

Min Ho chuckled sadly. “I don’t have the right to make a decision for you because I’m not your husband yet? Then what makes you think that you have the right to break my heart like this?”

Shin Hye shook her head. “No, that’s not what I mean. I was just…”

“When you passed out in my arms…” Min Ho cut her off again. “… do you know how scared I was at that time? I thought I will lose you forever.” He said bitterly.

Shin Hye straightened herself up and try to hold his hand but he pulled away, avoided her touch.

“Why must I always be the last person to know when something happened to you? Was it because you think that I’m not reliable enough for you to trust me and you rather keep it away from me?” Min Ho asked with a painful tone.

“No, it’s not like that. I just know about it three days ago and I swear I was going to tell you today but…” Shin Hye bit her lip and looked down. She doesn’t know what to say anymore. Anything that comes out from now sounds like an excuse to him.

Min Ho looked at her with his eyes slightly reddened. “But what? Do you really need three days to tell me that you are having a pain in your abdomen? Do you really need three days to tell me that Seung Heon found the tumour grew bigger and you need a surgery? It doesn’t make sense at all.”

Shin Hye sobbed and looked back at him. “I just don’t want you to worry about me.”

Min Ho chuckled again. “Do you think I’ll be less worry now with you fainted in my arms like that? Have you ever thought about So Won?”

Shin Hye’s heart hurts even more when he said So Won’s name.

“Do you know how scared she was when she saw you lying down lifelessly in front of her?” He paused as he stood up of the chair and sat on the bed. He took Shin Hye’s hand and looked deep into her eyes. “She already lost her biological mother. Do you want her to lose you as well?”

Shin Hye shook her head vigorously as more tears rolled down her cheeks, wet their hands. “I’m sorry… I’m very sorry…”

Min Ho enveloped her hands tightly in his and pressed it against his chest. “If you really feel sorry for us, then please do the surgery. Let Seung Heon save you, get better and we can all stay together forever.”

Shin Hye sniffed and held her head down. “Our wedding is in another three weeks.” She said softly.

“I know but you can’t wait for that long. And with your condition now, the wedding ceremony will be too heavy for you.” Min Ho moved closer and squeezed her hands. “We can postpone it. After the surgery, after you get better, we can still have the wedding ceremony after the therapy.”

Shin Hye slowly looked up at him. “Do you think it’s still possible? Do you think I will still be the same after the surgery and the therapy? I don’t even sure I could come out from the surgery room alive.”

Min Ho released her hands and cupped her cheeks. “Of course you will still be the same. You will still be the beautiful Shin Hye we all know and be healthier. I know you are scared but Seung Heon said the surgery will be safe. There won’t be much complication and it won’t…”

“Do you love me?” Shin Hye cut him off, holding his gaze with her teary and pleading eyes.

Min Ho took a sharp intake of breath, looking at her helplessly. “Please don’t do this to me. Stop trying to convince me. You know I love you, so much that I could give up anything just to take your place in this damn bed and take all the pain for you. But I can’t and it kills me for being so helpless beside you.”

Shin Hye bit her lip again, more tears running down her face. “If you really love me that much, then please let me decide this for myself. I don’t want to waste any time in the hospital, suffering from all the pains. I want to spend my remaining time with you, with So Won when my body still can function properly. I want us to get married and even if it’s only for one day, I want to be your wife.”

Min Ho clenched his jaw as he pulled his hands away from her. He stared at her with an unbelievable gaze as tears started to well in his eyes. “No. I’m not going to allow you to do that.”

“This is my own body. Why can’t I have a say in this?” Shin Hye asked sadly.

Min Ho made a lunge for her arms and shook her tiny body as if trying to shake some sense into her. “Can you stop being so stubborn? You need to listen and follow what Seung Heon wants you to do. Kidney surgery is the only solution that can save you now.”

“What is the point of removing the whole kidney when I will still die at the end?” She asked again, looking at him pitifully.

He tightened his grip on both her arms. His breathing was ragged and the vein in his forehead, pulsing fast and irregular. He needed a lot of self-control not to break her arms with his powerful strength. His could feel that his patience was running out.

“Nobody say you will die. Nobody will let you die. Seung Heon won’t let you die. I won’t let you die. If removing the kidney could save your life, then why you choose to give up? There is a chance now that you could live longer.” He said through gritted teeth.    

Shin Hye hardened her gaze and she finally reached her limit too. It took all of her strength to break free from his grip and pushed him away from her. She let all the sadness, anger and pain fill her.

“It’s very easy for you to say it. But the one who need to go through all the pains is me, not you!” She shouted as she cried hardly. “Do you know how they are going to remove the kidney from me? They are going to make at least an eight inches long cut below my ribs and remove everything inside that link to my kidney. After the surgery I will need to go through a very aggressive therapy. The side effects will be ten times worse than the one I’m having now. Vomit, fever, sore throat, cough, wheezing, skin rash, fatigue, depression. Do you know how long all these are going to last? At least one year. One year!!”

She laughed sadly as her whole body was trembling with the heavy emotions rushed through her system. “I’m going stuck in this room, this bed living in agony for the next 12 months. Do you think I will still be the same? Do you think I really could survive all that?”

Min Ho held her back in his arms and forced her to look at him. “You just need to fight for another 12 months and we will get our happy ending. You just need to stay a little bit stronger and you will get more 12 months in your life. I will stay by your side and fight this battle with you. You are not alone.”

Shin Hye cried out painfully, trying to twist out of his grip. “All of you told me the same thing too 6 months ago but the damn cancer just wouldn’t go away.” She swallowed hard and held his arms back. “Is there any guarantee that I’m going to be okay after 12 months? Can you be sure that after the surgery and the therapy I’m going to have my happily ever after?” She shook her head. “No. No one can be sure about that. I don’t want to waste my time here, fighting for a meaningless battle. I don’t want to spend my remaining time being weak and lifeless in this cold bed.”

Looking at how the love of his life breaking down in front of him, thinking of how helpless he was at this pathetic moment, his limbs went numbed and his mind turned into static. His hands that were holding onto her arms were now slowly loosened as he stood up of the bed and took two steps backward. Tears were blurring his vision but he doesn’t have the strength to wipe them off. His gaze was unfocused and he felt like he was physically and emotionally falling apart.

“You told me you will stay strong, you will fight hard for me, for us. You made a promise.” He said very softly, very painfully.

Shin Hye bit her quivering lips as she closed her eyes, letting her unstoppable tears flowed down freely. “I regret now. I’m exhausted. I don’t want to fight anymore.” Her next words broke both of their hearts completely. “Just let me die.”

Min Ho inhaled sharply as he tried to gasp for breath. He slowly turned away, looking defeated, walking towards the door. But before he opened it, he spoke again. “So Won was so scared and hasn’t stopped crying since you were sent here. Ahjuhma is bringing her over now.” He stopped and took another deep breath. “I don’t know how to explain to her that her mother is giving up and choose to die. Maybe you can do a better job. I’ll leave her to you to do the explanation.”

Without waiting for Shin Hye to reply, he opened the door and walked out.

 

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“Eomma!” So Won called out loudly as she ran towards Shin Hye and climbed up the bed, hugging her tightly.

“Eomma… are you okay?” So Won asked as she started to cry.

Shin Hye patted her back softly and smiled slightly. “Eomma is fine. Don’t cry, okay?”

So Won pulled back and looked at her. “Eomma, what happened to you? Are you sick? Why are you staying in the hospital? You fainted just now.” She asked worriedly.

Before answering her questions, she looked up at ahjuhma who was standing at the side, both eyes reddened. She smiled slightly at the older woman.

“Don’t worry. I’m okay.” Shin Hye said.

Ahjuhma sniffed softly as she took a step forward. “So Won agasshi is very worried about you. And… doryeonnim too.”

Shin Hye let out a sigh. “Where is he?”

Ahjuhma looked at her hesitantly before she spoke. “When we arrived just now, doryeonnim asked the driver to fetch him back to the office.”

Shin Hye nodded. “I see.”

“Did you fight with him? He doesn’t look good just now. He didn’t even talk to So Won agasshi.” Ahjuhma said.

Shin Hye looked down at So Won when she felt her tiny hand holding onto hers.

“Eomma, you fight with appa? You never fight with him before. Did appa do something to make you angry? Eomma don’t be angry with appa. Appa love eomma a lot.” So Won said worriedly.

Tears begin to pool in her eyes again. She quickly inhaled a deep breath, holding her tears from falling down. She brought her hand up and caressed So Won’s cheek. “Have you eaten yet?”

So Won shook her head. “So Won is not hungry.”

Shin Hye sighed softly before looking back at the maid. “Ahjuhma, can you help me to buy some food for So Won in the cafeteria? It’s late now and she shouldn’t skip her lunch.”

Ahjuhma nodded. “Okay, I’ll go now.”

Shin Hye turned back to So Won after ahjuhma left and smiled at her. She wiped the traces of the tear stains on her face and gently her hair.

So Won gazed at her intently. “Is eomma really okay?” She asked again as she touched Shin Hye’s hand, then her face and her forehead. “You don’t have a fever. But you are very cold. Your face is very white and you looked tired.”

Shin Hye breathed softly, looking at So Won with a heavy heart. “So Won-ah, eomma is going to tell you something but you have to promise eomma that you won’t cry, okay?”

So Won looked scared but nodded her head after a while. “So Won promise eomma.”

Shin Hye smiled sadly at her. “Do you remember that you asked eomma before what is cancer?”

So Won’s face slowly turned pale before she nodded very slowly. “Yes. My friend told me that her father have cancer. Her father passed away two months ago.”

Shin Hye pursed her lips and felt a pang in her chest looking at So Won’s worried chubby face. She is a smart girl. She is very sensitive and even if she doesn’t understand very well what was happening, she could still sense something wasn’t right now.

“Cancer is a disease that grows inside human body when someone is not healthy. It will keep growing and attack some parts in human body and it will make us weak, pain and ill.” She paused and inhaled deeply when she saw So Won’s eyes started to flood with tears. She held her tiny hand and squeezed it softly. It took almost all her energy to croak out her next words. “That was why eomma is in the hospital now. Eomma is not healthy. Eomma have cancer.”

It broke her heart into million pieces when she saw the tears rolled down So Won’s face uncontrollably. “I saw Seung Heon ahjuhsi outside just now. He is a doctor, right? When So Won is sick, appa will give me some medicine and I will recover then. Seung Heon ahjuhsi can give you medicine and eomma will recover too, right?” So Won asked expectantly.

Shin Hye bit her lip and swallowed hard. “The medicine Seung Heon ahjuhsi give eomma will be very very bitter and it will make eomma very very sick.” She took her hand and put her small palm against her cheek. She needs to feel her warmth and get some strength from her before she could continue. “Eomma want to spend time with So Won when eomma still can talk, can walk around. So eomma couldn’t take the medicine. Eomma don’t want to be very very sick.”

“If you don’t take the medicine, will you be like my friend’s father? She told me that her father is dead and have gone far far away from her. Eomma don’t worry. If you scared that the medicine is bitter, So Won will asked appa to buy some candy for you. I will ask appa to buy now.” So Won said as she looked around to find a phone.  

Shin Hye couldn’t control herself anymore. She pulled So Won into her arms and hugged her tightly. She buried her face into So Won’s hair, inhaled into her sweet baby scent. “Appa is angry with eomma. He is angry because eomma don’t want to take the medicine.”

After a long while, So Won pulled away from Shin Hye and looked at her sadly. “Eomma, you have to listen to appa and Seung Heon ahjuhsi. If you don’t take the medicine, your sick will not recover. So Won and appa will take care of eomma when you are very very sick.”

Shin Hye sobbed painfully as she took her hand in hers. “So Won-ah, you have to help eomma to take care of your appa when eomma is not around. You have to make him continue to live, make his heart continue to beat, arasso?”

So Won cried sadly looking at her. “Eomma is leaving again? You promised So Won you will stay with So Won. You said you will take care of me and never leave me.”

Shin Hye pressed her forehead against hers as she closed her eyes. Tears were fiercely running down their cheeks.

“I tried. I really tried but eomma is very tired. I promised you that I will stay with you until my last breath. I will keep my words but it seems that my last breath is coming soon. I’m sorry… I’m very sorry…”      

 

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Shin Hye glanced at the window and the sky was already dark. She slowly turned back to Se Yeon who was sitting beside her bed. “What is the time now?” She asked.

Se Yeon took a look at her watch. “It’s 10.30pm. Are you hungry? Are you tired? You should sleep now. Don’t worry. I’ll stay here with you tonight.”

Shin Hye smiled at her softly. She was very tired but her mind just wouldn’t let her rest. Since Min Ho left this afternoon, he has not come back and didn’t even give her a call. She still remembered his sad and heartbroken expression. He was even crying and his tears pained her heart. “Did he call?”

Se Yeon let out a deep sigh before she shook her head. “I called your house just now and So Won said he isn’t home yet. Do you want me to call him?”

Shin Hye shook her head. “He needs some time to be alone and cool down.”

Se Yeon stood up of the chair and sat on the bed beside her best friend. “He is very worried about you. You didn’t see how he reacts when he found out about your condition. Everything you said this morning hurt him very deeply.” She held her hand and caressed it softly. “Why did you refuse to do the surgery? You will die if you give up.” Se Yeon asked sadly.

Shin Hye sobbed softly as she looked at her. “I’m very scared. Even though I told everybody that I was okay when the side effects started to kick in but I was actually not okay. My stomach hurt so much whenever I vomit and I will just throw up everything I try to eat. I can’t even walk more than ten steps before my head started to spin, my legs and arms started to get numb. My whole body was covered with bruises, my nose and gums bleed on and off.” She paused and inhaled deeply, trying to catch her breath while she tried very hard not to cry out loud.

“And those were only minor side effects. Seung Heon oppa said the biotherapy will be at least ten times worse than those I was having.” She stopped again and used her index finger to point at the side of her abdomen. “They are going to make an eight inches long cut over here to remove my kidney. Just by thinking about all that already scare the hell out of me.” She tightened her grip on Se Yeon’s hand and continued to cry. “I’m not as strong as all of you thought about me. I know all of you will stay by my side and support me but those pains are unbearable. I witnessed how my mother suffered last time and now I finally understand why she chose to end her life.”

Se Yeon sobbed too before pulling Shin Hye into her arms and embraced her tightly. “Park Shin Hye, don’t you dare to do something stupid. If you dare to follow what your mother did, I swear to god that I will kill you again and again even if I have to find you in the hell.”

Shin Hye cried on her shoulder, her tears soaking her shirt.

Se Yeon her back soothingly.

“Why must HE give me a hope that wouldn’t last long? I will become his wife in just another three weeks. I’m not greedy. I didn’t ask for a long lifetime. I just want to have 5 years, 3 years or maybe 1 year. But why? Why must it have to be so short? Why must it have to be me? If we are not fated to be together, then why must HE bring him back to me?” She took a deep breath and tried to keep the tears in. “Se Yeon-ah, my heart is in so much pain. I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t want to see him cry because of me but I was the reason he shed his tears each and every time.”

Se Yeon sniffed and nodded her head. “I know. I know. He will slowly understand. Give him some time and he will understand.” She tightened her arms around Shin Hye and both of them just stay there

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jasey_park
Hey guys...I just finished my class n I hv a dinner appointment later.I only wrote half way of the next chap so I'll be updating slightly late today.

Comments

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tonnettie
#1
Chapter 28: You are making me cry again.
etiket #2
Chapter 28: reading it again n still make me cry??
ShinHye24 1340 streak #3
Here again reading this amazing story
painless
#4
Chapter 28: ALTERNATE ENDING IS SO GOOD... I PREFER HAPPY ENDING
koster
#5
Chapter 4: why are you so good author-nim! You're doing it again. Its 2 in the morning and I'm still up reading your story rather than studying for my midterm
anejae #6
Chapter 28: Re reading this
Story again
crazyforkdrama #7
Chapter 28: Read again. No matter how many times I have read your stories they still give me the feeling I had when I was reading them for the first time. Really amazed with your talent. God bless you.
mspandora #8
Chapter 28: I just finished reading this for the 2nd time and I cried a bucket. Daebak Jasey!
tonnettie
#9
Chapter 28: I don't know which ending really works, though the 1st one seems more realistic, even though it's really the definition of heartbreak and pain. (The Journey is also painful, though it's just a montage of things) 2nd Epilogue is to appease the broken hearts.

A WOW story!