Looking at the sky always makes me wonder when I will die. But even though I always have depressing thought about the sky I always look up to it. The way the clouds freely move in vast blue sky. It makes me want to live up there, up there where my parents are probably staying.

I bet it’s more fun there, more happiness and more love.

I’ve had my fun here, I’m happy…at times and I was loved though it’s not the same love I felt when my family, my only family, my mom and dad, were alive. Tiffany and her mother love me, but I don’t even know if I love them back. I was grateful that Tiffany’s mother adopted me when I lost my parents. But that’s it, I’m grateful, my feelings beyond that was a little blurred for me. And I don’t know where they stand in my life.

I want to be with my parents. I’m only 15. They didn’t have to leave me here all alone so soon. I can feel a sting in the corner of my eyes, so I sat upright to prevent the tears from falling. I want to cry, I really do. But I want to do it under the embrace of my parents. The place where I can never be.

“Damn it Taeyeon! Are you here?” The loud voice of Tiffany was all it took to finally snap me out of my depression. Though in an instant it was replace with irritation. I wanted to be alone. That’s the only reason I came up here at the school rooftop, to be alone and now she is disturbing me.

“Tae… There you are.” She stomped her way towards me with her hands braced on her hips.

“What do you want?” I asked after I took my eyes off her.

“The teachers are looking for you.”

“It’s the first day of school, we’re both first year. How the hell can a teacher, much more teachers be looking for me? Stop joking around and get out. I want to be alone.”

I heard her sigh from behind but didn’t dare to look. “Well, you, unexpected genius, topped the entrance exam. So they wanted you to say something in the entrance ceremony which is currently happening right now.”

I can’t help but groan. Who came up with that stupid idea? I didn’t ace the exam so I can stand in front of everyone and boast about it. All I wanted was the scholarship which I can’t get unless I’m number one.There’s no way I would go there now.

“What are you doing here anyway? All students are supposed to be at the gymnasium.” Tiffany asked when she noticed that I have no intention of going back.

“I don’t want to be in a crowded place like that. I feel more alone.”

“You won’t idiot. I’ll be there with you.”

“I’m good here.”

Tiffany heaved a sigh for the last time before I heard the door closed. I unconsciously let out a depressing sigh. I pushed her again. Tiffany did nothing but approach me since my parents died. She was always there, holding my hand and staying by my side. She doesn’t talk, because the moment she did only foul words come out of . But I’m sure she never meant any curses she throws at me and I can tell that she cares. She and her mother, they care for me a lot.

I stood up and walked near the fence to see the school ground and for nth time my head is filled with the memories of my parents. I was so drowned by the memories that my body jolted from shock the moment the door slammed open for the second time. I automatically turn my head to the culprit and expecting to see Tiffany, but I was wrong. It was some guy who scratched his head furiously, not even noticing my presence.

“Damn it. I lost to someone who doesn’t even give a ?” He punched the door shut and groan in pain after. I would laugh at the stupidity if only I’m not as irritated as he is. Instead, I remain staring or maybe glaring at him. He was still wincing when he finally felt that he’s not the only one in the rooftop.

He steps back a little obviously surprised of my presence. I almost rolled my eyes. Almost.

“Yah! You scared me, at least talk if… Hey are you crying?”

I instantly wiped my face and unexpectedly it’s wet. I’m crying? I didn’t even realize. I turned back and wiped my tears off properly. This is embarrassing. A stranger saw me crying.

“Are you going to kill yourself here?” The question was out of nowhere and got me off guard. I do want to see my parents but never in my life tried to take my own life to do so. I whipped my head towards him. He now had his hands inside his pocket, looking indifferent after he just asked a disturbing question. It irritated me.

“Can you with your stupid question leave me alone? I was here first.”

“So…”

“So, get out!”

“Who are your parents?” His question, for the second time, got me off guard.

“Are you the president’s daughter?” I knitted my brow. Where the hell is this question going?

“Are you the school chairman’s daughter? Or the principal’s?”

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“If you’re not then you can stop ordering me. This place doesn’t even belong to you and you have the nerve to kick me out. Are you trying to make me laugh?” I was lost for words in a minute. I only watched as he scoffed at me while rolling his eyes. I glared at him. It’s the only thing I can to keep me from crying out of frustration. I wanted to be alone.

The glared doesn’t seem to work on him as he strode closer to where I was. His eyes are only looking at mine but unlike me who’s only thought was for him to get the hell out, his eyes don’t give away of what he’s thinking. The moment he was standing besides, without warning, he shoved a handkerchief to my face.

“Wha…”

“You look like an idiot