{Jihae}

“What happens when I go back?” I ask Baekhyun that night before I leave for home. I don’t even know whether I’m referring to going back to living at my own house, back to school or back to my normal life as the almost non-existent Jihae.

“Nothing changes. I’ll still love you all the same.” Baekhyun smiles sweetly at me and holds my hand, making me slightly uncomfortable but I don’t show. We’re seating on the sofa, with my clothes stuffed in my bag at a corner beside me.

“You know I’m not referring to that.” I say, annoyed.

“I know.” He doesn’t look at me.

We sit there for a long moment, with his arms around me and my head leaned on his shoulders. If I can pause time, this will be the perfect moment to. I didn’t tell him but I don’t actually want to leave his house. But since school starts tomorrow, I have to get ready. Both physically and mentally. Besides, Luhan will never allow.

“I’m scared Baekhyun,” I finally tell him how I have been feeling for the past day ever since he broke the news about me having a new power and all the ‘peaking’ matter. “Are you sure they won’t come back for me? Didn’t the Head say that if he can’t have me no one else can?”

“He won’t lay a finger on you Jihae.” Baekhyun whispers into my ears, his voice soft and kind. “I’ll protect you, I promise.”

I laugh because all this ‘protect you’ thing has been said so often by him it’s as if it’s his catchphrase. “The last time I checked I was the one who protected you guys,” I say with intended sarcasm.

“Yea and look how well that turned out,” he jokes. But when he sees that I’m not laughing, he stops.

“Everything is never going to be the same,” I say.

“No it isn’t,” he agrees and then he holds me tight. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“Why do you want to know?” I laugh.

“I don’t know, curiosity?” he admits.

“But if you have the ability to read my mind then you probably would never have noticed me would you?” I ask him and a sad tone unknowing takes over my voice.

“I suppose so.” He replies.

“How does it feel like? To know everything and anything in the world? To know everyone’s secrets?” I ask him.

“It ,” he laughs. “I’d rather never have this ability.”

“But isn’t it great to be the knowing one? To have the upper hand?”

“Sometimes ignorance is bliss,” he says to me. “Sometimes the one who knows the most, hurts the most.” A silence engulfs over us after he finishes. Is he referring to himself? He has to be. So he is hurting a lot. How can he not?

“Baekhyun?”

“Yea?”

“Promise you won’t leave me, promise you won’t leave me behind.” I say to him, suddenly recalling how it had felt like when he treated me coldly last time or even when today morning when I found out he left me behind for the fight.

“I promise.” He says after a moment of pause. Or hesitation. “Jihae?”

“Yea?”

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

“Like what?”

“Like look for me.”

“I don’t regret running to 50 Dongjae street Baekhyun. Never have and never will.” I answer firmly.

“I knew you’d be this stubborn.” He chuckles, earning an elbow from me.

“Where would you be if I wasn’t?”

“Dead. Just like the rest of my family.” He says monotonously.

“Oh Baekhyun you know I didn’t mean it that way!” I apologise immediately, hugging him tighter, hoping to mend his heartbreaks.

“I know you don’t. I’m sorry I just—”

“I’m sorry too.” I cut him off.

“Hey you two lovebirds, let’s get going already,” Kai says from behind. Has he been here all this while?! I don’t ask him, but his expression highly suggests so.

“So I guess this is goodbye?” Baekhyun asks when I sling my bag over my shoulder.

“For today. But definitely not forever.” I tell him and kiss him on his cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow!” I wave him goodbye before Kai takes my hand and in a flash we’re out of Baekhyun’s house.

•••••

 “Had fun?” Luhan asks me when he opens the door.

“The best days ever.” I reply. What I say cannot be less of a lie.

“Glad you did sis.” He snickers and closes the door behind me.

The house is quiet because my parents aren’t at home. I bathe then change into a fresh set of clothes. This day feels as though it would never end. I plummet on my bed the moment I enter my room, happy to hug my soft toys again.

Exhaustion overtakes me as I lay face first on my pillow but I switch to my sides once I realised it is impossible to breathe in that position.

My mind wonders off to Baekhyun. It is funny but why is it that whenever he says he will protect me, all my insecurities melts away. Why is it that I feel safe with him?

Thinking about earlier on, when I was traumatised by the knowledge of having another power, one sentence from Baekhyun’s mouth soothed my nerves, a hug from Baekhyun washed away my fears.

I never let myself get too attached to any particular person, even Luhan still feels distant to me at times. But Baekhyun just unknowingly broke all my walls. I don’t know if it’s a good thing or bad. But I am happy he did, I am happy I got to meet him, I am happy that he entered my life.

I smile to the celling. “I love you Baekhyun,” I whisper, somehow wishing that he can hear my words. I have finally admitted it. So that’s the sensation you feel when you truly love someone. The feeling that you want to protect them, you want them safe, you want them to be by your side.

I love him, he loves me back. And before I fall asleep that night, I think, I don’t see how we can ever get separated.