{Jihae}

“I’m going to bed now.” I announce to the table of three as I stand up from my seat in the dining table. Half of my dinner still lies on my plate and I have no intention of finishing them. What happened earlier today has made me lose all appetite.

 My parents don’t bother stopping me because they know I’ve had a rough day. Luhan shoots me a look but remains silent. Even he knows there’s no point in talking to me now.

I drag myself up the stairs and into my room. The four baby blue walls radiate a kind of soothing sensation, but even that is barely able to compensate for the trauma that I’ve been through today. I ransack my first aid kit for a plaster and roughly paste it on my cut. Thank goodness my parents believed me when I said I scratched myself.

I turn off the lights and lay quietly on my bed. Pulling the sheets over, I stare out of the window, questions pouring through my mind. Who were those men? Why were they after me? Why did they say it was a warning for Baekhyun?

No matter how I think of it, it seems almost impossible for things to add up. It couldn’t be that Baekhyun has financial problems. He lives in a freaking mansion! He could easily make a ton of money by selling some of those antique items. They look as though they cost a fortune. And to think he was willing to give one of them to me.

Recalling the details from earlier on, I begin to suspect that Baekhyun has bipolar. He saves me from those men, hugs me but turns to leave without me. He then tells me to stay away but yet he still lends me his jacket when he sees me shivering.

His jacket! I had forgotten to return it to him just now. Where did I place it? I stumble out of my bed and turn on the lights. A quick glance around the room tells me that the jacket isn’t here. I open the door, wanting to do a quick search through around the house but am instead greeted by Luhan’s stern face.

“Have you seen a—”

“You mean this?” Luhan cuts me off as he pulls out his hand from behind, revealing the blue piece of clothing.

“Yes. Thank you!” I snatch the jacket from him, hoping to quickly hide back in my room as fast as I could but I guess most of the times I just don’t get what I want.

“Not so fast.” Luhan holds the door. “That jacket isn’t yours right?”

I don’t give a reply, fully aware that he probably knows the answer already.

“Baekhyun’s?” I nod.

“Sorry Luhan I’m really tired now and there’s school—”

“School starts late tomorrow.” Luhan looks at me suspiciously.

“I meant that I’ve got a lot of school stuff to complete tomorrow and I could really use an early night.” I fake an excuse to get away from him.

“Whatever it is Jihae, I suggest you keep a look out for Baekhyun.” He musters a serious tone.

“Why?”

“I don’t want you getting hurt alright.” I know Luhan is referring to my cut when I see his gaze shifting to the left side of my face. “Good night.” He finally says before he lets go off the door and walks off.

His words left me dumbstruck as I slowly get back to my bed. Why is everybody telling me to stay away from Baekhyun? Is he really a danger? Should I be afraid?

•••••

“Hi.” I greet Baekhyun when I bump into him in the cafeteria the next day. His facial expression is nonchalant as he slowly turns his head over at me. He doesn’t greet back but acknowledges my presence with a slight nod.

“Erm when can I return your jacket?” I ask him, careful to speak in a whisper to avoid all the gossip that would be rampant should anyone know what happened between us last night.

“Just take it as a gift.” He says in an equally soft voice. I would expect him to smile or show hints of a laugh but his cold demeanour tells me it’s nothing close to that.

“Oh look who we have here?” A shrieking ear piercing voice rings from behind me and I turn around to face Sooyeon’s smug face.

“What do you want?” I shoot back at her. Now that I have Baekhyun by my side, I don’t feel half as scared compared to previously. Surely he will protect me right? Hasn’t he promised that before?

“Woah getting a little gusty here aren’t ya?” She closes in on me to the extent that I smell her minty breath and I back away immediately. “Don’t push it Jidae.”

“My name is Jihae.” I reply firmly, having no intention of backing off on her. I make full eye contact with her, wanting her to know that I’m no longer the same weakling like before.

“The cheek of you to rebut me!” Sooyeon’s eyes widen as they focus right on me. Normally that would have been enough to send shots of terror down my spine. But for some reason, I feel bubbling confidence rising in me and so I decide to push it.

“I’ll do whatever I like.” I snap back at Sooyeon, leaving her both speechless and insulted. I bet no one has stood up to her for a long time.

“Y-you…” I can sense the ire boiling within her as she stares at me. She contemplates what to do before I see her hand rising slowly. She is about to slap me but I’m faster than her. I grab her wrist, suspending it in mid-air.

By now we’re the centre of attention and I feel dozen pairs of eyes pinning on me. They’re probably watching closely on me. Observing what this girl is going to do next. Thinking about how she will stand up to the school’s most influential girl.

They’re not disappointed when I fling off her hand. Instead my own shoots up with the intention to slap her face. To imprint a red mark on her cheek just like she had done to mine previously. But this time round, someone stops me.

Baekhyun’s fingers are firmly wrapped around my forearm as he prevents me from making my move. His face depicts nonchalance as he says, “Leave Sooyeon alone.” A sense of ambiguity overwhelms me when I hear him say that. Did Baekhyun just say that? Did he just side with her?

“Oppa! Thank goodness you stopped her in time or else she would have disfigured my face!” Sooyeon pouts as her head leans on Baekhyun’s shoulder. I don’t know whether I should be more surprised by the fact that Baekhyun doesn’t push her away like he normally does or by his next sentence.

“Just back off Jihae.” Baekhyun’s voice is stern and I feel as though I don’t recognise him at all. And while he tries to avoid direct eye contact with me, I desperately want to look deep into his eyes. I want to know if he really means all that he is saying. If he really wants me gone.

“You just back off of oppa already! He only protects me!” Sooyeon slurs as she link arms with Baekhyun and walks to collect her food. I watch them arm in arm as they bend over the counter, smiles dangling on their faces.

This feeling that is accumulating in me. A mixture of jealousy, hatred, sadness but the biggest part of it, disappointment.

Don’t worry. I’ll protect you. Suddenly Baekhyun’s message floats into my mind. I guess promises are as delicate as a flower’s petal. They tear apart easily. And so is trust. Because as I turn to walk away from the cafeteria, holding back tears that are threatening to spill as I do, all trust I have for him is lost.

The same feeling erupts in me. The same one that did the day I found out I was abandoned by my biological parents. They left me alone in this cruel world to fend for myself. He left me alone in the cafeteria and sided her.

The disturbing reality hits me all at once. I’m always being abandoned.