{Jihae}

We are seating at the edge of his rooftop garden. Our legs dangling as we hold hands. I peer down towards the edge of the platform. It’s a two storey drop if I were to fall. The thought of that scares me and I hold on tighter to Baekhyun’s hand.

“Are you sure it’s safe to sit like that?” I ask him.

“Yea.”

“What if I fall?” I look at him. He turns back to me with a smile on his face.

“Then I’ll catch you.” He says and kisses my forehead. I would have squealed inside me when his warm lips touched my skin but all the fear of tomorrow accumulates in me and I’m too scared to be happy.

Baekhyun senses that and wraps his hands around me. Ever since the incident yesterday, we’ve seemed to grow closer. It’s funny how people only realise how important someone is to their life when they lose them. Thankfully I didn’t have to lose Baekhyun to figure that out. I almost lost him though.

“I love you,” He speaks into my ears. It’s barely a whisper and with all this night wind you might have thought his words would come out inaudible. But I heard them, every single syllable bounces within the walls of my head.

“I-I…” I don’t know what I should say. I feel like I’m in one of those romantic movies where someone proclaims his love for you. I am supposed to return those words. But do I love him?

“It’s okay you don’t have to say those words to me now. Or anytime in the future for that matter,” he laughs and I feel a pang of guilt stinging me. “I just want you to know that I do. That’s enough for me.”

“Do you want to know?” He asks after a momentary period of silence engulfs us. “About my past, about how I got into this mutant world?” He doesn’t look at me when he speaks.

“You’d tell me?” I ask in a surprised tone, trying to hide the eagerness behind it.

“Yea.”

“Tell me.” I say.

“Okay.” He pauses, then continues. “Don’t ask any questions until the end okay?”

“Okay.”

“Good,” he smiles. “Where should I begin?” He grabs my hand tighter and I lean my head on his shoulder. I feel like I’ve become a little kid once again. As though I’m listening to stories told by my mom like she used to when I was younger. I make myself comfortable as he begins.

“So I was twelve when it all happened. A man approached me on my way home from the last day of school. He had told me he knew I had an ability. And I was dumb enough to follow him back to the headquarters where I met the Head for the first time. He told me that he wanted to recruit me into the pack. His pack—”

“Does his pack have a name?” I cut Baekhyun off.

“What did I tell you about not interrupting me?” Baekhyun face palms himself and shakes his heads.

“Okay fine sorry,” I say. “Please continue Mr Byun.”

“So he explained to me the theory about mutants and how I had the mark like the rest. I considered for a while you know, just like you had. He didn’t threaten me or anything but I was twelve so I thought it’ll be cool to join a cult of some sort.” Baekhyun stops talking when he hears me laughing.

“I’m sorry, I just didn’t know you were as naïve as me last time.” I giggle.

“As I was saying, I did think over it. But after I read his mind, I rejected him immediately. I saw his dark thoughts of manipulating me, using my powers, and I knew that his power was mind control. Immediately when I refused, he started controlling me and then he imprisoned me inside one of the rooms in that place.

“That was when I met them, Chanyeol, Suho, D.O, Kai and Sehun. The five were held captive in the same place as I was. I read through their minds and I knew we were all in the same boat. Everyone except for Suho was really scared to the point that they even cried. I still remember ten year old Sehun sobbing like a baby!” Baekhyun laughs and I laugh along.

“We were trapped in there for a couple of days. They gave us food and water but they wouldn’t tell us what they were doing to us. I didn’t dare read their mind after seeing all the nasty thoughts from the Head so I didn’t know what they were planning. I didn’t understand why no one had rescued us. No police or anything. I had thought surely my parents would have filed a report. Later on I realised how they had carefully called each of our parents and told them we were all staying over at a friend’s house.” Baekhyun said.

“Your parents fell for it?”

He shoots me a look and I mouth a ‘sorry’. “Well yea because one of those guys has the ability to change his voice to sound like anyone else’s. I’m guessing that’s how they lured you in the first place. So anyway I figured I should just push myself to read the Head’s mind to know what in the world he was doing.

“I found out that they were waiting for the right day to carry out the ritual. It was done every time someone new joins a pack. And they were planning to count us in because our powers were seen as valuable to them. But the thing was that this ritual could only be done during a full moon. That’s the only reason they have been biting their time.

“I learned that this ritual isto spread blood of another onto one’s mark. That willsignify two being tied together in a pack. The procedure will have to be repeated with every one of the pack mates. And the thing isthat once one is in a pack, there willbe this loyalty thing kicking in. That means that a pack mate isn’t able to attack another. Friendly fire willonly result in a searing pain on their mark.” He says.

That’s why Chanyeol was in pain when he hurt Baekhyun. I recall.

“So I know that if that ritual were to happen, it meant that we would be bounded by this bond forever. So I told them everything I knew and we devised a plan to escape before that could happen. The day before the full moon, we waited until the Head left headquarters to launch the escape plan.

“With no one controlling our mind to hold us back, we fought three of his pack mates before making it to the exit. When the six of us had escaped, we knew we could not stay in Seoul, or we would be tracked down immediately. So I told my parents to buy six tickets to fly to Busan. I lied to them and told them that it was for a school trip. And they believed me. So the six of us flew to Busan and Suho helped us make the necessary arrangements for our lodging.” Baekhyun said.

My eyes widened at that. Suho was only like what thirteen or fourteen at that time. And yet he was able to be so independent and take care of the others? Wow.

“That week was probably one of the happiest moments of my life. I had met five wonderful boys that was able to understand the same predicament I was in.” He smiles as he speaks. “I had always thought I was alone. I had always seen myself as a monster. I was different from everyone else. The five of them told me that I wasn’t. I became a part of them and we had something in common, we had powers. We decided that we wanted to form our own pack.

“So on the day of the full moon, we did the ritual and boy was it bloody but it was worth it. It had felt as though a new bond with the six of them was formed. I felt relived and fresher than I ever had been. We stayed for an entire week. But—” Baekhyun stops all of a sudden.  

He bites his bottom lip and his eyes dodges around. He seems to be caught in a fit of something. “Its ok Baekhyun, you don’t have to continue.” I tell him.

“No, I’ll continue. The Head had sent me a letter. Those three simple words were the reason why I rushed back to Seoul.” Baekhyun continues.

“What words?”

“Read my mind.” Baekhyun says uneasily. “And so I read his mind. Visions of my parents and brother being tortured. I heard their cries, I saw their blood.” Baekhyun’s voice trembles so badly that I’m afraid he might break apart mentally.

“Your family died?” I ask, regretting almost immediately.

Baekhyun’s eyes shot wide open, bloodshot as they stared at the starry night sky. “Not then. But they were about to.” And all of a sudden it all made sense why there was no one at home at Baekhyun’s house and why he never talked about his family much. Because they had suffered a tragic death.

“When I rushed back, I saw my family lying lifelessly in the cells. They weren’t dead yet but they were on the verge of death. The Head demanded that I waited till the next full moon to join their pack. But then I told him that I had already joined EXO-K. I still remember the infuriated look he gave me when I broke the news to him.

“And it was that fast, The Head controlled my Father and he took the gun lying beside him. He shot my brother, my mother, and then himself.” Baekhyun’s voice is almost inaudible as he squeezes his words out. I try to imagine myself in his shoes. The feeling of seeing your family die right in front of your eyes must be awful. So awful that it must have torn him apart mentally.  

It then occurred to me how much suffering the Head inflicted on him, and how Baekhyun is not a strong person like I had thought. In fact, he is weak, he has many weaknesses, like the people he loves. He just manages to conceal them really really well. He conceals his pain really well.

“I’m sorry Baekhyun.” I say and hug him. He hugs back and says, “Now you know Jihae, why I can’t afford to lose anyone again, especially you.” A chill runs down my spine. A rush of dejavu swarms through me as I recall Chanyeol’s words. He was right afterall.

“And here is where I end my story,” he says.

 I want to know what happens next since I am about hundred percent sure the Head would not have let them off that easily. An ugly battle was sure to have taken place. But I see the pain in Baekhyun’s eyes and I know its not wise to continue bringing up the bad memories for him. He has already suffered enough.

But there is one question that keeps bugging me and I feel that if I don’t get it off my chest, I won’t be able to sleep tonight.

 “Baekhyun, do you regret it?” I ask.

“Regret what?”

“Regret everything. Regret about your parent’s death.” I know I shouldn’t be doing this. I shouldn’t be inflicting more hurt on his old wounds but I just had to ask. I have to know.

He doesn’t even hesitate before replying, “No.”