{Baekhyun}

Words can never fully express the feeling I had when I saw Jihae walked out of the cafeteria with that sunken look painted on her face few days ago.

I so badly want all of this to end. All the secrecy and lies and the jerk façade that I’ve been trying so hard to put up. I wish I can just easily reveal everything to her. But I can’t. The cost to pay for that is too much. And I know neither of us can afford it.

Just as I’m stuck in my own line up of thoughts, someone taps me on my shoulder. At first I think it’s Sooyeon. I’m just about to think of a pretext to get her off my back. But when I turn around, I’m met by Luhan’s sombre expression.

“Hi Luhan—”

“Look Baekhyun I’ve had enough of your games already. What in the world are you doing?” Luhan barks at me, his glowering with annoyance.

I return a look of confusion because honestly I have not the slightest clue what he was yapping about. My eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement as I ask, “What?”

“Don’t act all innocent! Jihae has been crying every night and by the looks of it, Byun Baekhyun, everything has got to do with you.” He accuses.

“She’s been crying?” I try my best to hide the immense guilt I’m experiencing but fail miserably when the worry in my voice comes out so noticeable.

“Hell yea she has. That stupid girl thinks the walls are sound proof.” Luhan shakes his head and sighs.

“Well… how does any of that got to do with me?” I murmur, twisting my lips as I speak.

“Don’t tell me it’s a coincidence she whispers your name every night in her sleep,” he sniggers. “And don’t think I don’t know you’ve got a crush on her.”

My eyes widen. “I-I don’t.”

“Lying to me is futile Baekhyun.” He gives me a ‘I know everything’ glance as he pats on my head sarcastically. I roll my eyes at him, reading his mind as I do. I’ve refused to read his mind this past days, telling myself to keep as much distance between the two of them as possible.

But now that Luhan has finally made his move, its time I update myself on the whole Jihae situation. I catch glimpses of Jihae’s pained expression here and there as I search through Luhan’s mind. But it’s only when I see what he’s been seeing about me, then I realise how desperate I had been trying to get closer to Jihae.

“So will you give up on your act and tell me the truth already?” He looks over at me.

“I’m not hiding anything!”

“Then why are you being so mean to Jihae these few days? You’re a complete you know that? Siding with Sooyeon like that after what she did to my sister.” Luhan says.

“You saw everything?” I don’t have to wait for his reply. Reading his mind already gave me an answer but I ask anyway.

“Everything.” He sighs. “Are you really not going to tell me?”

I remain silent.

“Baekhyun?” He looks over, hope dangling on his word as he asks for the final time. “Okay then.” Luhan throws me a saddened expression as he turns away, his draggy footsteps reflecting his disappointment as he slouches.

I’m sorry. I want to say, but my mouth doesn’t allow me to. Looks like apologising is my newest forte.

•••••

“Okay class, the next step would be to pour the sulphur solution into the test tube.” Mr Kim says to the class. It’s been a week since the incident.

I watch as Jihae manoeuvres the lab equipment uneasily. “Do you need any help?” I offer.

She seems surprised at my words. No wonder too, since I’ve been awfully cold to her recently, this sudden shot of kindness must be shocking.

“No thank you.” She smiles at me. Her smile is sweet and pure. But I can’t help but think of Luhan’s words and also of what I’ve seen through his thoughts. I can’t help but suspect how real her smile is.

“Are you sure?” I ask again. Her shivering hand movements makes it hard for me not to ask.

“Positive.” She replies. Just as those words come out of , her finger tips accidentally comes into contact with the hot test tube and she winces in pain. My natural instincts makes me get up from my seat and rush over by her side.

“Let me do it,” I tell her and my hand grabs on to the metal elevator that she’s holding on to. But she budges and refuses to let me.

“I said I can handle it!” She raises her voice and attempts to wrench the contraption out of my reach but as she does, she accidentally spills the solution onto my left wrist.

“Argh!” I groan in pain as the solutions stings on my skin. I quickly rush over to the basin and the burnt area over running water.

“Omigod sorry! Sorry sorry! I’m so sorry!” Jihae begins apologising profusely as she sprints over to look at my wound.

“It’s okay.” I tell her, even though in actuality the aftermath of it really hurts, but I wasn’t going to let my pain show no matter what.

“No no its not okay. The injury looks so bad what if you get an infection?” She seems really worried. “I’ll go inform Mr Kim.”

“No don’t!” I hold her back. “Don’t trouble that old guy. Besides that’ll probably result in us getting marked a grade lower.” I gesture at our assignment paper.

“I don’t give a about our results. Your hand is more important!” Her words make me feel a wave of warmth at first. But when I think back on how I’ve been treating her, this only adds to my guilt.

Jihae turns off the tap and slowly pulls my hand over for a closer look. She’s analysing closely when all of a sudden, her eyes flash a hint of shock and she steps back with a shudder.

“Y-you..you…” Jihae mouths, her index reaching out in front of her face as she points at me with trembling lips.

“What?” I ask. She’s gesturing for me to look at my wound. And when I do, it makes sense why she reacted that way earlier on.

The solution has burnt through the layers of water proof concealer that I apply daily to hide the very thing that I don’t want anyone to see. And now with all that out of the way, the difference in skin colour at the allocated spots are now more visible than ever.

“Y-your birthmark…” Jihae says as she points at the underside of my wrist.

Birthmark? Oh she must have thought it is merely a birthmark. Well of course she would. Why in the world would she think that it could be something more?

“Oh right my birthmark. Yea it’s weird looking I know.” I try to play along and add a laugh for that effect.

“It’s not that.” She eyes at me. An awkward pause slices the air before she continues. “I have it too.”

The moment she pulls down her wrist band, my whole brain gets messed up. I take a closer look, looking for signs that will give away the fact that it’s not genuine. But the confirmation sets in as I compare our “birthmarks’.

I look up at her. She’s one of us.