The next days went by in a blur. Minah and the other trainees kept bugging me with questions about the MT. When I told them to wait for the broadcast, they retorted that they wanted to know everything from my perspective. They wanted to hear my experiences. But I was in no mood to go into detail, so I just gave them a short summary. After that they stopped bugging me. Fortunately. Yeah, well except for Minah. After hearing that both Yoseob, Wooyoung and Seungho were there, she was beyond curious.

“So, the two rivals finally met again. Tell me exactly what happened, Ha Ni. Don't you dare leave out any information!”, she said.

“I'm really not in the mood to talk about this, Minah.”

She pouted. “You're so mean. Come on, tell me. What did Wooyoung Sunbae say? Did he go all beserk? Or was he rather calm? And Yoseob Sunbae? Did he protect you from Wooyoung Sunbae's wrath? Or did he hide behind you? Was Seungho Sunbae the shining knight who tried to settle the dispute in a peaceful manner or did he take sides? Ha Ni, the curiousity's killing me!”

“Shush, turn down the volume! Do you want everyone in this room to know about this?”, I whispered.

“Oops, sorry.”

I sighed. “I'll give you a summary, okay?” When she was about to protest, I added: “Take it or leave it, Minah. I won't tell you more.”

“Okay, okay. Now shoot!”

“I was talking to Yoseob Sunbae on the terrace when suddenly Wooyoung Oppa appeared. He was looking for me but then he spotted Yoseob Sunbae and kinda lost it. He slammed Yoseob Sunbae against the wall and asked him, how he dared to do betray him and all that stuff. I tried to intervene but Yoseob Sunbae told me to stay out of this. And that made Wooyoung Oppa even more furious. He was about to hit Yoseob Sunbae when Seungho Oppa suddenly appeared with Jihoon and Jay. Seungho Oppa told Wooyoung to not make a scene at this place. Wooyoung Oppa calmed down a bit and let go of Yoseob Sunbae. Then Seungho Oppa escorted Wooyoung Oppa to his room while I stayed with Yoseob Sunbae. So, end of the story.”

“Wait, what? Are you serious? Just when it was getting interesting! What did you and Yoseob Sunbae do when you were alone again?”

“We did nothing. I asked him if he was okay and he told me to go to sleep. Huh.”

“Seriously? And here I thought you guys were making out.”

“Yoseob Sunbae does not feel for me this way.”

“Oh, don't give me that crap again. Why would he kiss you if he didn't like you?”

“It was a mistake.”

“Yeah, sure. Just keep telling yourself this lie.”

I groaned. “Minah, really, I already told you that I'm not in the mood to -”

“- listen to the truth, yeah, I get it.”, she said and rolled her eyes. “But still, I totally envy you.”

“Huh? Why the heck would you envy me?”

“Uh, hello? You have two hotties fighting overr you and another hottie is like a big brother to you. Not to mention your friendship with MBLAQ, BEAST and 2PM! Some people would sell their souls to be in your position.”

“Selling one's soul to be in my place would be a very bad bargain, trust me.”

She rolled her eyes again. “You just want to keep your hotties to yourself.”

“Minah, seriously, sometimes you -” I was cut off by the coach who told me that the supervisor was looking for me.

Glad for the chance to escape Minah's interrogation, I quickly rushed out of the room to head to the supervisor's office. When I arrived, I saw that I wasn't the only one who was summoned. Sitting on a chair at the supervisor's desk was none other than plastic personified, Hyomin.

“Oh, Ha Ni, good, you're here. Come on, sit down.”, she said.

I quickly took the chair next to Hyomin and sat down. “What's the matter?”

“I have good news for you two.”, she said and smiled.

“Are we going to debut?”, Hyomin asked.

Yeah, as if.

“Patience, Hyomin. These good news are for another time. Now let me finish my sentence. What I wanted to tell you is that you two have been chosen to participate in a project.”

“What kind of project?”, I asked.

“As you guys already know, Cube's intending to debut another girl group. And the purpose of this project is to let the world get a taste of the skills of the upcoming group.”

“So....if you say that we have been chosen.....does this mean that we have also been chosen for the girl group?”, Hyomin asked eagerly.

I was as excited as her but I didn't dare to get my hopes up.

“For now, you two have been chosen for the girl group, yes. You, Hyomin, even though you haven't been a trainee for a long time, has surpassed those who have been with us longer than you.”

Hyomin smiled smugly.

“And you, Ha Ni. Your skills are also extra-ordinary, especially your vocals. Aside from that, you already gained experience and a little bit popularity due to your appearance on 'Idol School'. And that's why we want your voices to be featured in the soon-to-be-released song called 'Perfume'. You two will be called 'Cube Girls' for the project.”

Cube girls. How creative. Huh.

“You will continue to attend your lessons. The time for the preparation of the project will be added to your schedule. We have to re-arrange it to Yoseob-ssi's schedule.”

Wait, what?

“Did you just say 'Yoseob-ssi'??”, Hyomin asked.

“Oh, did I forget to mention it? You guys will be featuring Yoseob-ssi for this song.” Oh my gosh. “Well then, that's enough for now. I'll see you guys tomorrow.”

And with that, we were dismissed.

“Yoseob Sunbae, huh? Nice.”, Hyomin purred as soon as we left the office. “Not really my type, but he will do.”

“He will do for what exactly?”, I asked annoyed.

“None of your business, loser.”

“Instead of deluding yourself with wishful thinking, maybe you should focus on the project itself.”

“No need to be jealous of my beauty and my amazing skills, little Ha Ni.” She paused. “Well, on the other hand, maybe you should.”

“Whatever. No matter how much I despise you, let's call it a truce, at least during the time of the project. We need our strength to focus on the song.”

“I know how to act professional, loser. Don't think that you're in any position to give me advice just because you appeared on a puny show.”

“Jealousy's a , huh?”

“You should know better than me, shouldn't you?”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Whatever, do what you want. I'm gonna focus on the project instead of your pointless babble.”

“Ditto, loser.”

We didn't talk to each other during the rest of the way back to the practice room. I was distracted with the thought of being featured in a song with Yoseob.

It was like a dream come true.

The next day I just couldn't concentrate on practice. I kept thinking of today's meeting with Yoseob and the composer to discuss the distribution of the parts and the song itself. And when it was finally time, I rushed out of the practice room, leaving behind the other trainees with envy written all over their faces. Seemed like they already got the news of the project.

In the dorm, I quickly took a shower and changed clothes. After that I returned to the Cube Office, heading straight to the recording studio. When I arrived, I saw that nobody was there yet. Huh. Was I too early?

I put my bag on the floor and sat down on the couch. Minutes passed and no one came. Where the heck was Hyomin? Didn't she leave at the the same as me? Why did she take so long? I bet so was putting on loads of make-up. I wouldn't put it past her to go to the hair salon just to look pretty in front of Yoseob. Huh.

Annoyed, I pulled out my phone and scrolld through my messages.

FROM: Seungho Oppa

How are you, Ha Ni?

Jihoon told me how down you were after the show.

Don't be sad. There will always be another time.

And it's great to see that you and Jihoon are so close.

He's a good boy.

He's a good boy, huh? Yeah, sure, and pigs can fly.

TO: Seungho Oppa

I'm fine, Oppa, no need to worry :)

Yeah, I was a bit down but it's okay now.

And yes, Jihoon is really kind.

I had to cringe while writing that last part. But I had to add it, in case Jihoon somehow got to know about this conversation. I wouldn't take any risks.

I saw another text message.

FROM: Aunt

Ha Ni, she still lying in bed all day long.

And she barely eats anything.

She also doesn't talk to me.

What should I do?

My aunt was talking about Yuri. Ever since the incident with that sleazy CEO, she has been locking herself into the guest room. Because of my busy schedule, I only got to visit her during Sunday. During the week, my aunt took care of her. But I could see that my aunt was at her limits. To be honest, I didn't know what to do with Yuri either. I told her several times to go into therapy but she wouldn't listen. She also didn't talk to me. It was like it was just her shell in that room and her soul was somewhere else.

“Ha Ni.”, someone said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

Looking up, I saw Yoseob standing in front of me. Startled, I jumped up from the couch. “Oh, hey.”, I said.

“Were are the others?”

“I'm as clueless as you.”

Sighing, he sat down on the couch. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes. Must have been a busy day for him.

“You okay?”, I asked when I sat down next to him.

He leaned back and closed his eyes. “I'm just tired.”

I glanced at his throat. He didn't wear a band-aid anymore, so the cut must have healed already. I also leaned back, but I turned my head, so that I was looking at him. “Busy day?”

“Busy month. I'm preparing for my solo debut.”

“Oh? You're going solo? That's awesome, congrats, Sunbae.”

“Thanks, Ha Ni.”, he said and smiled faintly. Then he turned his head to me and opened his eyes. “Why are you staring at me?”

“I was checking if your cut's healed.”

He absentmindly placed his hand on his throat. “Yeah, it's healed. It was just a small cut after all.”

“i'm sorry.”

He sighed. “How many times do I have to tell you? It's not your fault.”

“No matter how many times you tell me, I know that I'm at fault. I'm sorry for forcing myself on you and causing you to be attacked by Wooyoung Oppa. ”

“Forcing, huh?”, he asked and smirked. “You have no idea.”

Okay, I knew this was going to be a bad idea but I was too curious. “Say, you once told me that you won't date because of your career and your loyalty to your fans, right?”

He tensed. “Yes, but mainly because I wouldn't make her happy, Ha Ni. So, why do you bring this up now? We already talked about this.”

“So, you would date if you weren't an idol?”

“Yes, but I am an idol, Ha Ni. So there's no need to consider this possibility.”

“But just because you can't fall in love, doesn't mean that you don't, right?”

He frowned. “What are you trying to say?”

Okay, Ha Ni. You can do it. This is your chance to find out the truth.

“So...why did you kiss me back? I mean, I did force myself on you and you already told me that I can't force myself on you. So...this means that you kissed me back voluntarily, right?”

He hesitated. “I don't think -”

“Please, just answer me. And don't give me poor excuses, Sunbae.”

“Ha Ni, it's not like you think.”, he sighed. “I may be an idol, but I'm not a saint. Behind my appearance in public, I'm just a man.”

“So you just kissed me back because I'm a woman? So no matter whoever had been in my place at that time, you would have kissed her nonetheless?”, I asked outrageously.

He sat up straight. “Are you calling me a player?”

“What else could I call you? You just told me that even though you don't feel anything for me, you kissed me because you're just a man.”

“Don't twist my words around. I never told you that I don't feel anything for you.”, he said and glared.

“But you just -”

Wait.....what did he just say? Did that mean that he did feel something for me?

“What does this mean?”, I asked instead.

He sighed. “I think you should know by now that I care for you, Ha Ni. I like you and I can say that you're precious to me.”

His words made my heart skip beat. Nonetheless, I did hear a 'but' coming.

“But it's just not enough, Ha Ni.”, he continued, confirming my fears. “I'm sorry if I had lead you on in any way but I never meant for it to be more than friendly feelings between us.”

Ouch. So what he was saying was that he just wanted be friends and he was sorry for making me fall for him? Great. Those were exactly the words I've been afraid to hear.

Okay, don't let him see how broken you are, Ha Ni.

I smiled faintly. “I was just curious, that's why I was asking. No need to worry.”

“I'm always worried for you.”, he said and patted my head. This gentle display of affection nearly brought me to tears. “And I want you to be happy. Never forget that.”

Before I could break down in tears, Hyomin and the composer came through the door. Yoseob quickly pulled his hand away and straightened up. I took deep breaths to calm myself. Hyomin gave me a glare, as usual, but when she turned to Yoseob, her face lit up and she gave him a dazzling smile. Huh.

“Sunbae! You're already here. Did you wait long?”, she asked and sat down on the other side of him.

“No, not that long. And Ha Ni was keeping me company.”, he said and smiled.

Her smile slipped a bit. “Ah, yes, I see. Next time I'll make sure to hurry.”

So you don't have to endure her company. These were her unsaid words.

I shot her a glare.

“Okay, let's get started.”, the composer said.

The next hours were spent with going through the lyrics and humming along the melody. And yes, it was a beautiful song. If only it could have been a duet between me and him. Sigh.

“Now about the distribution of the parts.”, the composer said after a while. “Ha Ni-ssi, I've heard much praise about your vocals, so you'll be singing the main parts with Yoseob-goon.”

“And what about me?”, Hyomin pouted.

“You'll be doing the rap parts.”

“But I want some singing parts, too! I'm as good as Ha Ni, if not better!”

The composer arched an eye brow at her. “Are you doubting my judgement of your skills?”

“No, no, I'm sorry.”, Hyomin said, a defeated look on her face.

I wasn't listening to the conversation anymore. Not ever since he said that I would be singing the main parts with Yoseob. My heart skipped a beat. Did that mean that I really got to sing a duet with Yoseob after all? Our voices together in one song...oh my gosh, this was too much for me to handle. I have always been admiring his captivating voice ever since the first moment we met, and now I got this awesome chance to sing together with him. It was really hard to hide my excitement.

“When can we start recording?”, Yoseob asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

The composer considered. “According to your schedule, you have several free hours between 10am and 2pm on the day after tomorrow, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then we'll start recording at 11am on that day.” He glanced at Hyomin and me. “You two will be excused from your lessons during that time.”

“Okay.”, we both said in unison.

“Here's also a sample of the music. Listen to it during your freetime to get a hang of the song. Try singing the lyrics to it. This will save time for the actual recording.”

We both nodded.

“Well, then you can return to your classes. Yoseob-ah, you can go, too.”

After gathering our stuff, we said goodbye to the composer and left the studio together with Yoseob.

“Sunbae, There's something I want to ask you.”, Hyomin gushed as soon as we left the room. She was walking very close to Yoseob, her arm pressed against his. “Is it true that you're going solo?”

“Yes, it's true.”, he said and smiled.

Huh. He never smiled that much around me. Quite the contrary, whenever he was with me, he always seemed so solemn and gloomy. As if it was a burden to be around me.

“I can't wait to listen to your new album! I really like BEAST Sunbaenims, but your voice has always been my favorite.”, Hyomin kept on gushing.

It was very hard to resist the urge to puke.

“Thank you, Hyomin-ssi.”, he said.

“And the MV, I've also heard that there's going to be a kiss scene?”

I froze. A kiss scene?

“Yes, that's also true.”

I glanced at them to see him looking at me. As if daring me to react in any way to this announcement.

Not gonna happen, smart-. I still had my pride after all.

I turned away and picked up my pace, so that they were now walking behind me. I just ignored them. Yeah, well, I pretended to ignore them. Because no matter what, I still wanted to know more about that so-called kiss scene.

“How exciting! And is the female role already taken or is it still up for audition?”, Hyomin asked eagerly.

He chuckled. “It's already taken.”

“Oh? By whom?”

“By an actress. You'll find out the rest as soon as the MV's released.”

“Oh come on, Sunbae. Can't you tell me a bit more, seeing how we're under the same company and stuff?”, she pouted.

“You already know more than the media and the fans. Isn't that enough?”

I didn't see their faces but I could hear the amusement in his voice.

“You're right, Sunbae. Sorry for being so nosy.”

“It's okay to be curious.”, he said softly.

“Well, then I gotta go now. I don't want to be late for classes, not like certain people here.” She paused. I knew that her weak insult was directed at me but I didn't give her the satisfaction of acknowledging it in any way. When I didn't answer, she said “Bye, Sunbae!”

“Goodbye, Hyomin-ssi.”, he answered.

She walked past me, purposely shoving me aside. Just when I was about to follow her, I felt a warm hand on my shoulder.

“Ha Ni.”, he said softly.

Jeez, whenever he said my name like that, I got goosebumps and my insides turned into goo. But then I remembered what he said earlier and tensed.

“I'm going to be late for classes, Sunbae.”

He must've noticed my reaction because he lifted his hand from my shoulder. “This won't take long. About earlier -”

“No, it's okay. I get it.” I took a deep breath. “See you later.”

And then I rushed off, not daring to look back. I didn't need him to repeat it again. I didn't need him to tell me over and over again that he didn't feel the same way I felt for him. And I definitely didn't need him to remind me of what a fool I've been for believing that the kiss meant anything.

“He said what?!”

“No need to shout, Minah. Or do you want everyone to know about this?”, I sighed.

“But....but this can't be real. I mean, we already concluded that Yoseob Sunbae has the hots for you. You must've misunderstood him, Ha Ni.”

“Nope, the message was perfectly clear. 'I'm sorry if I had lead you on in any way but I never meant for it to be more than friendly feelings between us.' How else would you interpret it?”

“Ah, . You ended your perfect relationship with a man who worships the ground you walk on to run after a guy who just wants 'friendly feelings' between you two. Yeah, this .”

“Thanks for you encouraging words. Huh.” I let out a frustrated sigh. “See? I already told you guys, ever since the beginning, that Yoseob Sunbae does not have those kinds of feelings for me. But no, you guys kept telling me otherwise until I believed it myself and now see what it brought me! Pure rejection! Utter humiliation!”

“But I was so sure! I mean, he did kiss you back after all, right?”

“Yeah, but he told me that he's no saint. Meaning that it was just a natural male reaction to being kissed by a female after such a long time.”

“Ouch.”, she cringed. “Did he really say that?”

“Let me repeat his words: 'I may be an idol, but I'm not a saint. Behind my appearance in public, I'm just a man.' Yeah, that's basically what he said.”

“Well, this statement does leave much room for interpretation.”

“No, it doesn't. Stop trying to twist his words around, Minah. I'm done with this matter. No more heartbreak, no more tears and no more pain. I'm gonna focus on my career right now.”

“Meaning no more guys?”

“Yes.”

“This is stupid, Ha Ni.”

“It's not and you know it. And I'm not going to talk about this anymore.”

“Yeah, whatever. I've already told you my opinion. It's your life, you make your own decision and you make your own mistakes. Do what you want.”

“Exactly.”

Shaking her head, she joined the other trainees who were already getting ready for practice. After mentally preparing myself, I also joined them.

When I came home on Sunday, my Aunt greeted me with a smile.

“She has finally opened up a bit, Ha Ni. She told me she wants to talk to you.”

My eyes widened. Without hesitation, I rushed towards her room and knocked.

“Come in.”, came the faint answer.

I slowly opened the door. Yuri was sitting on the bed, a book in her hands. When she saw me, she smiled faintly and laid it down on the pillow. “Hey, Ha Ni.”

“Hey.”, I said and sat down next to her. “How are you feeling?”

“Better, I guess. I was getting bored of locking myself into this room.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, I can imagine. So, what do you want to talk about?”

“Tell me everything that happened after I Ieft Cube. And don't leave out any juicy detail.”

“Of course not. I wouldn't dare.”

And then I told her everything. It felt really good to talk to her again. She was my sister in anything but blood after all. And to see her smile and laugh again after everything that she's been through.....yeah, well, it made me happy.

We talked the whole day long, even until late night, and we only stopped because she reminded me that I had classes in several hours. I told her goodnight and returned to my room to go straight into bed.

It was finally time for the recording. Once again we were accompanied by jealous stares when we left the practice room to head for the studio. While Hyomin was still lingering in the pure satisfaction of being envied by the others, my mind was solely focused on the recording. I swore to myself that I wouldn't let Yoseob distract me. No, nothing would faze me, not his captivating voice nor his appealing gentleness.

But all these resolutions disappeared as soon as I caught sight of him sitting on the couch in the studio, being completely absorbed in the sheet of paper he was holding in his hand. He looked so handsome when he was concentrating so hard on something.

Ah, crap. Why was I so weak when it came to him? Jeez.

“Sunbae! It's great to see you again!”, Hyomin gushed when she saw him.

I groaned inwardly.

He was clearly startled by us. “Oh, I didn't hear you coming in. I'm sorry for my lack of manners.”

“What are you reading, Sunbae?”, Hyomin asked, edging closer to him.

“Just going through some lyrics.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh? Are those self-written lyrics?”

“Some.”, he said and smiled.

“Awesome! May I have a look, Sunbae?”

He chuckled. “Always so curious.”

“You told me it's okay to be curious.”, she said and gave him a seductive smile.

Jeez, may I puke?

“Yes, I did.” He paused. “I would like to show you some lyrics but I can't. Not yet.”

“And when will I be able to read them?”

“Be patient, Hyomin-ssi.”

It was the same teacher-like voice he used on me when he has been my vocal coach prior to my auditions. It reminded me of a good time, long before it got so awkward between us. And tha was why I didn't like it that he used that same voice on Hyomin.

Oh my gosh, since when did I turn into such a possessive ?

Okay, Ha Ni. Calm down. Focus on the project. Don't let them distract you.

“What do you think?”, he asked.

When my mind returned to the studio, I realized that this question was directed at me. “Huh?”, I asked.

“I was asking you if it's okay with you to have dry rehearsals first before the actual recording.”, he repeated calmly.

“Jeez, Ha Ni, focus on the project. We don't have much time.”, Hyomin chastisized me.

I shot her a glare. “I'm sorry, I was lost in thoughts. Won't happen again.”

“Well, then let's start.”, he said.

The next hour was spend with singing acapella. Did I tell you how amazing his voice was? Even my goosebumps got goosebumps while listening to him.

Needless to say, I did my best, not wanting to disappoint him. It felt great to sing with him, especially when I was harmonizing to his voice during some parts.

Glancing at Hyomin, I noticed the jealous looks she gave me whenever it was my turn to sing with him.

After the high notes near the end, Yoseob gently patted my head. “You've been improving, Ha Ni.”

I couldn't hide the proud smile. “Thanks, Sunbae.”

“Did I improve, too?”, Hyomin asked.

“Of course.”, he said and lifted his hand from my head to pat her shoulder.

“Thank you.”, she said and put her hand on his. He looked at her and something hidden passed between them.

After what felt like an eternity, he lifted his hand from her shoulder. “I think we're ready for the recording. I'll go first, then Ha Ni and then Hyomin-ssi.”

“Okay.”, she exclaimed.

“Hm.”, I just said.

Yoseob went into the booth and prepared himself for the recording. The composer was sitting at the table, directing the machines.

“Jealousy is such an ugly trait, loser.”, Hyomin said when she came to stand beside when.

“Pardon?”, I asked annoyed.

“Don't be such a sore loser. We both know that I have the upper hand right know.”

“Sorry, I don't speak the language.”

She gave me an arrogant smile. “Do you think that I didn't notice the way you keep looking at him? So pathetic.”

“And you think that he has the hots for you?”

“Obviously. Soon I will have him wrapped around my little finger.”

“He is not a toy to play with, Hyomin. He is our Sunbae, a person you should treat with respect.”

“Sunbae or not, he is still a man. And I know what men want.”

I may be an idol, but I'm not a saint. Behind my appearance in public, I'm just a man.

Why did his words haunt me all of a sudden?

“So what? You wanna use seduction to get to the top? That sounds like a to me.”, I retorted.

She gripped my chin and pulled me towards her. Her fingernails dug into my skin. “Be careful who you call a '', little girl. I have been hearing interesting stories about you and some certain idols. That's like the kettle calling the pot black, loser.”

I grabbed her wrist and pulled her hand from my skin. “If you want to believe in stupid rumors, then continue to do so. But don't you dare touch me again or the next time, I'll make sure you'll lose that hand, Barbie.”

“Aww, the little cat's got claws. Cute.”

“Does your nose still hurt?”, I asked, reminding her of the satisfying punch I threw at her after she pushed me too far.

She shot me a glare. “Another strike and you can kiss your career goodbye. Make sure to remember that.”

Before I could come up with a retort, someone came to stand beside me. “It's your turn, Ha Ni.”, Yoseob said.

“Okay.”, I said and walked straight into the booth. I was trying to concentrate on the recording, but my eyes kept moving to Yoseob and Hyomin. She was trying to start a conversation with him but he was focused on me. And that was when our gazes met. Oh gosh, I had to try hard not to turn into liquid under the force of his gaze.

That's why I decided to close my eyes to focus on singing. I poured my passion into this song. And when I was finally done with recording, I felt happiness spreading through me. Because of all the problems I had to face lately, I nearly forgot how much I loved singing. It was Mom's gift to me after all: the passion and love for singing. I had to embrace this heritage. For her, wherever she may be right now, and for Dad, who was watching over me from above.

Thinking about my parent made me tear up.

When I stopped next to Yoseob, Hyomin was already in the booth. “Good job, Ha Ni.”, he said and gave me a gentle smile.

This was the last straw. Not being able to hold back the tears anymore, I quickly excused myself and left the studio. But I didn't come far. Around the next corner, my legs gave in and I had to sit down on the floor. Hugging my knees, I laid my head against them.

Don't cry, Ha Ni. You're past the tears. You can't turn back into the crying wimp you've been several months ago.

“Ha Ni, you okay?”

Without looking up, I knew who it was. “I'm okay.”, I mumbled.

“No, I can see that you're not. What's the matter?”, he asked and sat down next to me.

“Will it ever stop hurting?”

Yoseob didn't even need to ask. He knew exactly what I meant. “No, but in time, we learn how to cope with the pain.”

“Everytime I think that I'm strong enough now, a single thought about them shatters my determination. I don't want to return the state I was in several months ago.”

He put an arm around my shoulders and pulled me towards him. Without hesitation, I buried my face into his chest, feeling the need of the comfort he was giving me. “You won't. I already told you that you are far stronger than you think. And I have often reminded you to believe in yourself.”

I couldn't stop the faint smile that was apprearing on my face after hearing the slight exasperation in his voice. “Yeah, I can remember.”

“Don't give up, Ha Ni. I can see the passion in your eyes whenever you sing. You were born to be a singer.” He paused. “And you have a captivating voice.”

I chuckled. “That's exactly what I have always been thinking about your voice.”

“Well, thank you.”, he said and chuckled, causing his chest to vibrate slightly against my cheek. “You feeling better now?”

I slowly pulled out of his embrace. “Yes. Thank you, Sunbae.”

“Then we should head back to the studio.”, he said and stood up.

We returned to the studio without further talk. After this incident, I knew that Yoseob and I had a bond that Hyomin didn't have with him. Not yet. He has been my mentor, my idol and my friend. He was there for me whenever I was on the verge of breaking down. And realizing this, I knew that what I felt for him was more than mere infatuation. It was something deeper. But I also knew that I couldn't allow myself to indulge in this feeling. It would only lead to more pain and sorrow. From now on, I would just allow myself to find comfort in the friendship we both shared, enjoying the knowledge that he did care for me on a certain level. For now, it had to be enough.

When we returned, Hyomin was giving us a suspicious look. “Sunbae, did something happen?”

“Just a small matter. It has been taken care of already.”, he answered calmly.

“Yoseob, you have to return to your schedule. We'll meet tomorrow for the remaining part of the recording.”, the composer said.

“Okay, I understand.”, he said and bowed slightly. Then he turned to Hyomin and me. “We'll meet again soon. Goodbye.”

“Goodbye, Sunbae! It was great to be able to work with you.”, Hyomin exclaimed.

He smiled. “It has been a pleasure for me as well.”

“Good luck on your solo debut, Sunbae.”, I said.

“Thank you, Ha Ni.”

With another bow, he left the studio. We stayed back to finish our parts for the recording and the we returned to our classes. Later that evening, Minah accompanied me to my home to visit Yuri.

“Do you think it's okay for me to visit her now? I mean, she has only opened up a day ago. Maybe it's too fast.”, Minah said.

“It'll be okay. You're her friend after all. She'll be happy to have someone to talk to, aside from me.”, I retorted, while knocking on Yuri's door.

She answered the door on her own. “Hey, guys.”

“Oh, I see that you're making progress already.”, I .

“Like I said, it's getting boring.” She stepped aside, giving us space to enter the room. We all sat down on her bed. “Any new gossip?”

“Hyomin's a pain in the . Do you consider that new gossip?”, Minah asked and grinned.

Yuri chuckled. “I knew that already, so I guess not..”

“Okay, my turn.”, I said. “Hyomin's trying to seduce Yoseob Sunbae.”

“For real?”, Minah asked and arched an eye brow. “Don't tell me she's succeeding.”

“Ugh, no, please not. He's way too good for her.”, Yuri stated.

I sighed. “They do have some kind of connection I don't know of but I don't think she has succeeded....yet.”

“You are by far the better match for him.”, Minah said.

“I already told you that it's not possible. I'm just a friend to him.”

“Then he's a fool.”, Yuri said.

“Let's not talk about this matter anymore. There's something else I want to tell you guys.”

Minah's eyes lightened up. “Uuuh, I smell great news coming up.”

“Yeah, well, I've made a decision. I'm going to visit my Mom tomorrow after practice.”

“You sure you wanna do that?”, Minah asked.

“Yes, it's time.”

Yuri frowned. “But Misun-ssi said -”

“I know what she said but I want to see my Mom with my own eyes. The last years I've thought her dead, you can't blame me for wanting to see her.”

“You want us to come with you? As moral support?”, Minah offered.

I smiled. “Thank you, I appreciate this offer. But I have to do this on my own.”

“I bet she's meeting up with Seungho Sunbae. That's why she doesn't want us with her. “, Minah chuckled.

“Yeah, that might be true.”, Yuri added and laughed.

I pouted. “You guys are mean. I'm not meeting up with Seungho Oppa.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever you say.”, Minah said and shrugged.

Yuri just giggled.

“I didn't bring Minah, so that you two can gang up on me, you know.”

They both burst out in laughter. After a while, I joined them. It felt great to have Yuri back in our group. And I really hoped that I would be able to wipe away the shadows I could see in her eyes from time to time.

The next day, I took a cab to the address Misun Imo has been giving me. What I did not expect was to stand in front of a big mansion in the end. Did Misun Imo give me the wrong address? This couldn't be the building her Mom has been living in all these years. My Mom has always been the modest kind of person. This mansion just didn't suit her.

Nevertheless, I took a moment to gather courage and then I walked up to the door. After the second ringing, it opened and I came face to face with an old woman.

“Good afternoon. How can I help you?”, she asked.

“I...uhm...I am looking for Jung Hyori. Is she...is she here?”

She arched an eye brow. “I don't know anyone with that name.”

Ah, crap. I totally forgot that she's changed her identity. Okay, what now?

Before I could come up with another question, someone shouted: “What's with this nuisance?”

“Excuse me.”, the old woman said to me and turned around. “Here is a girl who's looking for someone with the name 'Jung Hyori', Ma'am.”

“Did you say 'Jung Hyori'?”, the other person asked. I heard quick steps coming towards the door. Then the old woman stepped aside and another person appeared in front of me.

I couldn't breathe. It was her. It was definitely her. Though her hair was a bit shorter than I remembered. And she seemed older, her face paler and more tired. But I was sure that it was my Mom who was standing in front of me.

And she must have recognized me, too, because her eyes widened for a moment before her face turned expressionless.

“Come in.”, she just said and disappeared into the house. It took me a moment to register what she said. Hesitantly, I followed her.

The inside of the house was as magnificant as the outside. A very high ceiling, expensive-looking furniture.....everything that went against the image I had of my Mom from several yars ago.

She stopped inside a room which looked like a mixture of a living room and a salon.

“Sit down, please.”, she said and motioned at the empty couch next to the fireplace. She sat down on the couch opposite of me. I noticed the way she elegantly placed her hands on her crossed legs. Minutes passed and she just looked at me. Not knowing how to handle this situation, I didn't say anything either and just looked back.

Here I was, sitting in front of the person whom I believed to be dead during the last several years. How was I supposed to react? Should I cry? Should I laugh? Should I run towards her and hug her? Ever since Dad told me in his letter that Mom was alive, I have been picturing thousands of possible ways this 're-union' could go.

“So, what can I do for you?”, she asked, no trace of emotion in her voice.

Well, this was not how I've pictured it. We didn't see each other for years and the only things she asked me was what she could do for me? What the heck?

“Uhm....you're really Jung Hyori, aren't you?”, I asked hesitantly.

“My name is Kang Soori.” She paused. “But yes, the name 'Jung Hyori' has once belonged to me. A very long time ago.”

“Do you know who I am?”

She hesitated. “Yes, I do.”

Okay, this was definitely not how I've imagined the re-union with my Mom.

“Ha Ni, what are you doing here?”, she asked when I didn't say anything else.

That was the last straw. “You're really asking me what I'm doing here? Well, I guess it's probably incomprehensible that I could want to look for you after finding out that you weren't really dead.”, I said dryly.

She frowned. “You weren't supposed to know that I'm alive.”

“Oh? So you wanted me to live in ignorance till the end of my life? Never knowing that my Mom was still alive?”

“Who told you? Your Dad?”, she asked, ignoring my questions. “Or Misun? I bet it was her. She has always been against the measures I had to take to protect my family.”

“There's no need to 'protect' us anymore. The threats gone. That guy is dead.”

She looked at me for a very long time. “I know.”

And with that, she crushed the last excuse I have come up with to explain my Mom's weird behavior.

“Then why didn't you come back?”, I asked quietly.

“I saw no reason. You and Minhyuk, you both did fine without me. There was no need for me to return, no need to re-open old wounds.”

“You saw no reason?” I clenched my fists. “How do you want to know how we did? You weren't there. You didn't see the tears I cried at your funeral. You didn't see the grief in Dad's eyes.”

“I'm sorry for causing you trouble with my absence. But there's nothing I can change now. I don't know what you expect from me.”

“You really don't, do you?” I let out a frustrated sigh. “ I want to know what happened to the person I once called my Mom.”

“She died in an accident several years ago. The person you call your Mom, Jung Hyori, doesn't exist anymore. You have to understand this.”

“Is it because of me? Was I too noisy as a kid? Or did you argue with Dad? Is this what it is? Is the witness protection program just an excuse to get away from us?”

“Don't be ridiculous, Ha Ni.”

I slammed my fist on the table and stood up. “Then why the didn't you come back to us? Stop beating around the bush and tell me already.”

“Watch your language, young Lady.”, she said and frowned.

“No! You don't get to chastise me!”, I shouted. Then, in a softer voice, I added “Not anymore. You lost that right when you turned your back on us several years ago.”

At first, it didn't seem as if my harsh words had any effect on her. But then I noticed that, even though she still wore that unreadable face, her fists were clenched.

“I think it's time for you to go, Ha Ni. It's late, your Dad must be worried.”

I took a deep breath. “I don't think that you deserve to know this but.....Dad would've wanted me to tell you.” I paused. “He passed away several months ago. From the family you once had, I'm the only one left.”

Without looking back, I walked straight out of the house and took a cab back to the dorm.

****************************************************************************************************

A/N:

Please comment to let me know what you think about this chapter!

I really enjoy reading your comments :)

[Chapter will be re-editted later on.]