“Woah, there's not a single part of my body that doesn't hurt.”, Jay whined.

Trish chuckled. “Oh my, it must have been a wild night yesterday.”

“Huh. I wish. The only thing that has been wild yesterday was the wildness in the coach's eyes. We have been practicing nonstop until morning.”, he said and sighed.

Today was our usual get-together during lunch, when we were exchanging juicy gossip about our daily life. Usually it has been only Trish and me, given the fact that JYP and Cube trainees often met because of the close distance of the company buildings, but ever since the recording for the show 'Idol School', we became friends with Jay and he started to join us during our breaks.

“You're not the only trainee here, Jay-Jay. We all go through the same pain as you but do you hear us whine about it?”, I mocked him.

He gave me a sly grin. “Oh Honey, forgive me for only thinking about myself. Want me to ease your pain? What about a full-body-massage?”

“Yeah, sure. I'm not the one complaining about pain. You better give yourself a full-body-massage.”, I said and rolled my eyes.

He clutched his heart. “Ah, you break my heart, Honey. I was just trying to be a gentleman.”

I arched an eye brow. “By offering to me?”

“You know, 'groping' is such a harsh word....”

Trish gave him a light punch against his shoulder. “Stop harassing Ha Ni, you ert.”

He grabbed the hand she used to punch him. “Aww, jealous, Trishi-Baby? I like you as much as Honey, don't worry.” She snorted and pulled her hand out of his grip and I just rolled my eyes. Jay chuckled and leaned back against his chair. “Now let's talk about serious matters: What do you guys think about your 'Idol School' teachers?”, he asked.

Hearing the word 'teachers', Wooyoung flashed through my mind and a pang of guilt stabbed through my heart. Ever since the incident back at the practice room, I have been avoiding him. I just couldn't face him without having guilt written all over my face. And Yoseob...well, he has been the one avoiding me. Even though he told me to pretend that it never happened, he was surely not acting that way. Whenever I met him at the Cube office, he ignored me and left as quick as possible.

But I had no right to judge him. Wooyoung was a good friend for him and I was Wooyoung's girlfriend...and we had both betrayed him. I may have felt attraction towards Yoseob but I loved Wooyoung and that was why the guilt was killiing me.

After the incident, I went directly to the dorm. I wanted to lock myself into my room, trying to bear the shame and guilt I felt but Minah saw my tear-stained face and stopped me before I could close the door. Minjung was still at the Cube office, so it was just Minah and me in my room.

“What happened, Ha Ni?”, she asked quietly.

I sat on my bed, my face buried into my hands. “I'm disgusted of myself.”

“What? Why? Come on, tell me what happened.”, she said and put an arm around my shoulder, gently my arm. I hiccuped and leant my head against her shoulder.n“Did Wooyoung Sunbae hurt you?”, she asked when I didn't answer. I tensed. “Omo, did I say something wrong? Ha Ni, you have to tell me, or else I can't help you.”, she asked worriedly.

“I screwed up big time, Minah.”, I said quietly.

“What did you do?”

I hesitated. “I'm...I'm so sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?”

“I kissed him.”

“You kissed Wooyoung Sunbae? But that isn't something you should feel sorry -”

“Not him. Yoseob Sunbae.”, I interrupted her.

Minah froze. “You kissed Yoseob Sunbae....?” I nodded against her shoulder. Minah didn't say anything for a while. Then she relaxed and sighed. “Well, .”

Yeah, that about summed it up.

“So...is there something going on between you and...Yoseob Sunbae?”, she asked.

“No...I don't know.”

“So it was just 'an accident' then?”

I snorted. “An accident. Yeah, you could say it like that.”

“Ha Ni, do you love Yoseob Sunbae?”

I hesitated. “I feel...attracted to him. But to be honest, I don't really know what I feel for him. And considering his behavior afterwards, I'm quite sure that it's nothing mutual.”

“What did he say?”

“He told me to forget everything and to pretend that it never happened.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah.”

“And do you love Wooyoung Sunbae?”

I sat up and gave her an incredulous look. “Of course! That's why I feel so guilty.”

“Then don't make it more complicated than it already is, Ha Ni.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You love Wooyoung Sunbae and he loves you. And Yoseob Sunbae told you to forget that it happened.”

“So, I should listen to Yoseob Sunbae and pretend that it never happened...? But what about Wooyoung Oppa? Should...should I tell him?”

“Yoseob Sunbae gave you one possibilty to handle this problem: by pretending that it never happened. So, you can either forget it and keep quiet about it, especially now that Yoseob Sunbae told you that he won't say anything to Wooyoung Sunbae for your sake, even though Wooyoung Sunbae is a good friend for him, or you tell him what happened and beg for forgiveness. If you choose option 2, you should definitely tell him your true feelings and that something like that won't happen again.”

“What do you think? What should I do?”

“Ha Ni, I can't decide this for you. Wooyoung Subae is your boyfriend, you have to decide what's better for you and him.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. ”Ah, crap, I really screwed up.”

“No matter what, I still envy you. You always have the most handsome guys around you.”, she said and gave me a smile.

Thankful for her attempt to cheer me up, I gave her a small smile in return. “Yeah, lucky me.”

“Hey. Ha Ni. You okay?”

Startled, I looked up. Trish and Jay, they both were staring at me.

“Why are you two looking at me as if I'm a ghost?”, I asked.

“Huh? You know, you were picking at your food and seem kinda lost in thoughts. You didn't even hear Jay's pitiful attempt on being funny.”

Jay snorted.

“Oh, I was just caught up in thoughts, I guess.”, I said.

Trish gave me a concerned look. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sure. Why shouldn't everything be okay?”

Trish shrugged. “Just a hunch.”

“I told you that you're reading too much into things, Trishi-girl.”, Jay said.

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, just shup up, Babo.”

He just chuckled.

“So, tell me about your 'Idol School' teachers. How are they like?”, I asked, trying to change the subject.

“Talking about our teachers, I totally envy you, Ha Ni.”, Trish said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because you got Wooyoung Sunbae as your teacher! I would give everything just to be his student. And his y ...hmmmmm.”

Hearing her gushing about Wooyoung, and his 'y ', I felt a pang of possessiveness surging through me. Except for some certain people, nobody else knew about my relationship with Wooyoung, including Jay and Trish. I didn't want to lie to them but the less people knew about this, the better.

So I settled for a neutral statement. “Yeah, he's kinda...hot.”

She gave me an incredulous look. “Kinda? That's an understatement!”

“But what about your teacher? Isn't he hot?”, I asked.

“Oh, Seungho Sunbae is definitely handsome but I've always had the hots for y Wooyoung Sunbae.”

I choked on my drink. “Wait...what? Seungho? As in Yang Seungho? MBLAQ's Leader?”

“Yeah, you know him?”

“Uhm, not personally.” And another lie.

She arched an eye brow. “Uhuh, and why are you blushing? Do you have the hots for my teacher?”

“I...what? No!”

She laughed. “Oh my, you're such a terrible liar, Ha Ni! So cute. You wanna switch teachers?”

“No! I'm totally saitisfied with mine.”

“Ah, what a shame.”

“Guys, I feel kinda excluded here. Why aren't you guys asking questions about my teacher?”, Jay asked.

Trish rolled her eyes. “We know exactly how you feel about your teacher. You keep gushing about her y body every friggin day.”

“Hey, it's not my fault that Hyorin Sunbae is so hot.”

“Yeah, whatever.”

While they both kept on arguing, I got a text message. It was from my Aunt.

FROM: Aunt 

Ha Ni, today's your day off, right?

Could you come home tonight, please?

There's something we need to talk about.

Huh? What could it possibly be? Confused, I kept frowning at my phone.

“Hey, wanna go to the noraebang tonight?”, Jay asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“I'm in! I still need to beat you in a noraebang battle.”, Trish said.

Jay snorted. “Dream on, Trishi-girl.” He turned to me. “And you? Wanna see me beating Trish?”

I considered. But then I glanced at my phone and sighed. “Sorry, I can't. I have an appointment tonight.”

“Uhuh, a date?”, Jay asked.

I gave him a light punch against his shoulder. “You're way too nosy for your own good, Jay-Jay.”

He rubbed his shoulder after getting hit on the same spot twice. “Okay, that's gonna turn into an ugly bruise. And I'm not nosy, I'm just interested in your life, Honey.”

I waved off his argument. “That's a moot point.”

He sighed. “You two always think so bad of me.”

“We just know you well, Sweetie.”, Trish said.

“Don't call me 'Sweetie', Trishi-girl.” Trish gave him a punch on the same spot as before. “Oh no, you didn't just hit me again, Trishi-girl.”

She gave him an evil grin. “Oh yes, I just did. And I enjoyed it to the max, Sweetie.”

I rolled my eyes at them and returned to my thoughts. In two days, there would be another recording for 'Idol School' which meant that I couldn't continue avoiding Wooyoung. And to be honest, I shouldn't either. No matter how scared I was, I had to make a decision and face the consequences. I owed it to him. But it was better to meet him before the recording, so that our 'reunion' wouldn't be too awkward.

I stood up and said goodbye to Trish and Jay. Then I headed towards the house my Aunt was currently living in. She told me that it was my house but I still couldn't get used to the idea of having an own house to myself.

When I entered the house, it was dark, except for the light coming out of the living room. Taking off my jacket, I walked towards the living room. My Aunt was sitting on the couch, a book on her lap and a cup of tea next to her. Once again a pang of pain surged to me when I saw her like that. It reminded me too much of my Dad. Taking a deep breath, I sat down on the couch opposite of her. When she saw me, she closed the book and looked up.

“Hey, Aunty.”, I said.

“Ha Ni. How are you?”

I shrugged. “I'm fine.” She kept looking at me without saying anything. I grew impatient. “Aunty, what's the matter? What do you want to talk about?”

She sighed. “I wanted to give it to you earlier....but you were so focused on practicing, I didn't want to distract you.”

“What exactly did you want to give to me?”

She hesitated, then she sighed again and pulled an envelope out of her book. “Your Dad wanted me to give it to you if he wouldn't be able to do it anymore.”

By the mention of Dad, my eyes teared up, but I pulled myself together.

My Aunt gave me the envelope. “And he wanted you to have this, too.”, she said and handed me a book.

“What is this?”, I asked confusedly.

“Read the letter and you will know. Take your time, I know how hard it's for you, dear.”, she said and stood up. She patted my head and gave me sad smile. “But I also know how strong you are. Never give up, no matter how hard it may seem. And if you want to talk, I'm here for you.”

“Thank you, Aunty.”

She gave me another pat. “I'm going upstairs now. Goodnight, dear.”

“Goodnight.”

After that she went upstairs. I stayed on the couch, still staring at the envelope and the book. Then I stood up and went to my room. I put the book on the nightstand and sat down on my bed, still holding the envelope. On the front, my name was written on it and I immediately recognized his handwriting. Fighting bck the tears, I slowly traced the letters with my fingers. Still shaking, I slowly turned around the envelope. This letter contained my Dad's message for me. His last words to me. I didn't notice that I was crying until a tear fell on the envelope. Clenching my fist, I quickly put the envelope on the book and lay down on my bed, turning my back to it. No, I wasn't ready. Right now, I didn't have the strength to read the letter. It was still too soon. First I needed to concentrate on facing Wooyoung...and then, perhaps then, I had the strength to read the letter.

The next day, I decided to meet Wooyoung. Or rather, I decided to surprise him. I still didn't know whether I would tell him about the incident or not. I would decide when I met him. I knew that he was in the JYP office today, preparing something for his solo performance. I bought ingredients to cook his favorite food during one of my breaks and after practice, around 10pm, I headed straight to the JYP office. Some of my former co-workers recognized me and we chatted for a while.

“What'cha doing here?”, the JYP stylist asked.

“Uhm...I'm visiting someone.”, I said.

She glanced at the basket I was carrying and then she grinned at me. “Let me guess...is that someone a certain blonde cutie?”

Okay, it wasn't difficult to guess who I was visiting, considering the fact that I often came to the JYP to 'visit someone' when Wooyoung was there. And some of the staff members knew me from before, so they kinda knew about my past with Wooyoung.

I smiled at her. “Hmmm....perhaps?”

“Then don't let me keep you from visiting our blonde cutie. He's in room 213 but be careful, they are currently doing a recording for one of these youtube videos.”

“Thanks, Eonni!”

“You're welcome. And be good to our boy, he really cherishes you.”

I blushed. “Of...of course.”

“Okay, gotta go now. Bye!”, she said and rushed off.

I sighed and walked towards the elevators. After hearing her words, the guilt was literally suffocating me. I didn't need someone else to remind me how much I've screwed up.

When the elevators arrived at the second floor, I looked for room 213. I finally found it after several minutes. When I stood in front of the door, I could hear faint voices coming out of the room. Or rather I could hear one voice. Was he talking to himself? Curious, I slowly opened the door. Wooyoung was sitting on a chair, his back to me. There were several stacks of bread on the table in front of him. A man was standing on the other side of the table, holding a camera at Wooyoung. Seems like they were still recording. I took several steps back, so that I wouldn't be caught on camera by accident. Wooyoung kept talking to the camera while wrapping bread into foil wrappings and then putting stickers on it. He put so much effort into this, and judging by the mount of bread, it seems like he was already sitting here for a while.

After a while, the camera man said that he would take a break and return later on to continue recording him. Wooyoung gave him a nod and continued wrapping the bread. The camera man put down the camera and headed towards the door. I took several steps aside and he rushed past me, not even noticing me. Maybe it was better this way. I didn't know how I could have explained me being here without telling him that I was Wooyoung girlfriend. After taking a deep breath, I finally stepped into the room. Wooyoung was still diligently wrapping the bread. He didn't notice me, so I quietly put down the basket and tiptoed towards him. While standing behind him, I could see his muscle flexing through the red shirt while he was putting the bread into the foil wrappings. His blonde hair was covered by a black cap.

Smiling, I slowly reached forwards and covered his eyes with my hands. He froze immediately. I leaned forward. “Guess who I am?”, I whispered into his ear.

“Hmmm....Jinyoung Hyung, is that you?”, he asked. I snorted. “Oh wait.”, he said and put his hand on mine. “These lovely hands....” He gently the back of my hand with his thumb. “They definitely belong to my lady.”

“And who is your lady?”

“My Mom?”

I withdrew my hands and gave him a light punch on his shoulder. “Okay, then maybe I should go and tell your Mom to visit you instead.”

He chuckled and turned around to reach for my hand. The he interwined his fingers with mine. “Hello, my lady.”, he said and gave me soft kiss on the back of my hand.

“I thought your Mom's your Lady?”

He smirked. “Why? Can't I have two ladies?”

“Sorry, buddy. I'm not into polygamy.”

He pulled me towards him, so that I somehow ended up sitting on his lap. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms round my waist, pulling me closer to him. “You two have a place in my heart, but I love you both in a different way.”, he said.

I put my arms around his neck. “Care to explain?”

“Well, I love you and I love my Mom.”

I came closer, so that our faces were only inches apart. “But?”

“But I wouldn't use a certain way to express my love to my Mom.”

“Which way?”

He placed one hand on my cheek. “This way.”, he murmured.

And then his lips were on mine. I let myself drown in his scent and the sweet taste of his lips. His hand returned to my waist and slipped under my shirt, slowly my back. I could feel the familiar heat surge through me. Wherever his hands touched me, I felt a prickle. Suddenly my mind wandered off to another place. A practice room. I was reminded of another pair of soft lips. Shocked, I pulled away. I withdrew my hands from his neck and clutched them in front of my chest.

“What's the matter?”, he asked confusedly.

I noticed that he was out of breath, just like me. I didn't dare look into his eyes, so I just stared at his chest. Once again, the guilt was suffocating me. How could I think of another guy while kissing Wooyoung? I was disgusted of myself.

He placed his fingers under my chin and gently pushed it up, so that I was looking into his eyes. I could clearly see the concern in his brown eyes.

Should I tell him? Or should I keep quiet and forget it? Now was the time to decide.

I kept staring into his eyes. No, I couldn't do it. I just couldn't tell him. I couldn't stand to see the hurt and disgust in his eyes when he knew. I took a deep breath.

“No, it's nothing.”, I said quietly. He arched an eye brow at me. I gave him a smile, and then I wrapped my arms around his neck and put my head against his shoulder blade. “I was just worried that someone would see us.”

Ha Ni , the big fat liar.

He chuckled and gently my back. “It's not like they don't know about us. But they won't say anything, don't worry.”

“Still...it would be kinda awkward when the camera man returns while we're both making out.”

“Hmmm, now that would be interesting.”, he said and laughed.

I sat up and arched an eye brow at him. “Interesting?”

“Yes.” He leaned forward and gave me a soft kiss. “Thank you for visiting me today. I really thought that I did something wrong and that was why you were avoiding me.”

“I didn't avoid you.” Okay, I did try to avoid him but I just couldn't tell him. I continued. “Uhm, I was kinda busy lately. And I didn't want to distract you.”

“You're the kind of distraction I look forward to, Ha Ni. So never hesitate to contact me, okay?”

“Okay.”, I sid, still feeling guilty. Then I glanced at the table. “Well, perhaps you should continue wrapping your bread, or else the camera man will scold me for distracting you.”

“Are you staying?”, he asked soflty.

I raised an eye brow. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that I'll definitely be staying here for a while and I feel kinda lonely.”

I smiled. “You aren't alone. You have the camera man to keep you company.”

“But I rather prefer your company. And I've missed you.”, he said and pouted.

I punched his shoulder. “That's mean! You know that I”m weak against your pout.”

“Hmmm, so that means that you're staying?”, he asked and pulled me closer.

I smiled and put my hand against his chest to keep our distance. “Yes but only until the end of the recording. And you have to behave. I really don't want the camera man to scold me.”

“I don't think that he'll mind.”

“But I do. And now start working. The bread's not gonna wrap itself.”

“Perhaps a kiss to give me strength to continue working? I'm so worn out.”

“You sneaky guy!”, I said and chuckled.

He arched an eye brow. “So? Do I get one?”

I by not moving and just staring into his eyes. He did the same. Oh, that guy wanted a challenge, huh? I would have continued the game but I knew that the camera man would return any minute, so I gave in and leaned forwards to give him a quick but soft kiss. When I pulled back, his grip on me tightened.

“That's what you call a kiss? Not what I had in mind, Ha Ni.”, he said and smirked.

I arched an eye brow. “So? And what exactly do you have in mind?”

Before he could answer, I heard footsteps approaching us. I quickly jumped up from Wooyoung's lap and put as much distance between us as possible. He gave me a confused look but when he glanced at the door, he finally understood. The camera man stepped into the room and when he saw me, he frowned. Then he turned to Wooyoung and gave him a questioning look. Wooyoung glanced at me but I quickly shook my head. The fewer knew about us, the safer it was.

“Hyung, may I introduced Jung Ha Ni to you? She's.....a good friend of mine and a former JYP stylist.”

The camera man raised his eye brow. “And what is Jung Ha Ni-ssi doing here right now?”

“She's visiting me, of course.”

“You are aware of the fact that we're in the middle of recording right now, aren't you?”

“Yes, I am. But you won't even notice that she's here, I promise.”

The camera man considered. “Okay, whatever. She's your responsibility.”

“Thanks, Hyung.”, he said and smiled. Then he turned to me. “You can sit over there, we'll talk later, okay?”

I snorted. I knew exactly what he wanted to do later on and 'talking' was definietly not on the list. I quickly grabbed my basket and sat down on the other site of the table, so that I wouldn't be caught on camera.

They started reording again and Wooyoung continued wrapping the bread. I put my hands on the table and leaned my chin on them, so that I could 'observe' him. He kept talking to the camera while his hands where wrapping the bread. The same delicate hands which have been my back several minutes ago. I blushed and quickly shook my head. Inappropriate, Ha Ni, totally inappropriate right now.

When he was done with the bread, he moved on to the bottles. This time he had to put on 'Jang Wooyoung' stickers on energy drink bottles. Wow, it has to be totally tiring to wrap every single bread and then to put on stickers on every single bottle. I really wished I could help him but I didn't think that his fans would be happy to see me on his video, given the 'scandal' involving us in the past.

I sighed. I never knew that dating someone could be so complicated, especially when your boyfriend was an idol. If I was wise, I would have broken up with him already and spared us both from this misery. But I just couldn't. I loved him too much to let go. Yeah, kinda selfish of me, I know. But everyone know that the heart was never rational. Because if it was, I wouldn't have screwed up like this.

And once again the guilt started suffocating me. I glanced at Wooyoung. He seemed so happy and at ease, not knowing what I did to him. I wanted him to keep his smile because I just couldn't bear to see the hurt and disgust for me in his eyes. That was also why I decided to keep quiet even though the guilt was gnawing on me.

The camera man's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. “I'll stop recording for now. Just continue putting on the stickers on the bottles and then I'll return to record you while you put the bottles into the boxes.”, he said.

“Okay, Hyung.”, Wooyoung answered.

Then the camera man stood up and went out. Wooyoung let out an exhausted sigh and leaned back against his chair. “Ah, my shoulders are killing me.”, he whined.

Smirking, I stood up. Then I went behind him and gently put my hands on his shoulders. “Let me help you.”, I said and started kneading his tense shoulders. He let out a satisfied sigh and his shoulders started to relax. After a while, my fingers moved from his shoulders to his neck. Then I put them under his chin to tip back his head and gave him a soft kiss on his lips. “Now back to work, Sunbae.”, I said and put my arms around his neck to rest my cheek against his.

He put a hand on my arm. “But my shoulders are still aching, Ha Ni.”

“No pain, no gain. You do the work and when you're done...perhaps I'll massage your shoulders again.”

“Perhaps, huh?”

“Yes, perhaps.” I turned my head and gave him a kiss on his cheek. “Come on, start working or you'll be sitting here until tomorrow morning.”

He sighed. “Okay, okay.”

“Hmm, good boy.”, I said and chuckled. Then I pulled up a chair and sat down next to him. “I'll help you.”

“No, you don't have to, Ha Ni. I'm nearly done with these bottles.”

I glanced at the dozen boxes with bottles. “Yeah, nearly done, sure.”

“Just sit back and relax. When I'm done, you'll get my full attentation.”, he said and grinned.

I nudged him. “Less talking, more working, Babo.”

He chuckled and continued working. I joined him and after a while, we were finally done. Wooyoung went out to call the camera man and I returned to my original spot on the the other side of the table. They both returned and continued recording. Wooyoung explained how he expected his fans to use the gifts and then he concluded the recording with a short message.

“Okay, we're done for today.”, the camera man announced.

Wooyoung stretched himself. “Ah, you don't know how happy I am to hear those words.”

“Good. Don't lounge around for too long and return to the dorm early. You have an early schedule tomorrow, don't forget it. “

“Yes, Hyung.”

“Okay. See you tomorrow.” He nodded at me. “Ha Ni-ssi.”

“Have a safetrip home.”, I said.

He nodded again and then he went away. Wooyoung approached me, a big grin on his face.

“Why are you looking at me as if I'm a big piece of cake?”, I asked and chuckled.

“Hmmm, an appropriate comparison, indeed.”

I laughed and backed away. “Behave, Ahjussi!”

When he came closer, I by turning my back to him. But then he just put his arms around my waist and pulled me to him. He leaned his chin on my shoulder. “Got'cha.”, he whispered into my ear.

I leant back into his arms and put my hands on his. “You want to cash your prize for the hard work? Wanna get your massage now?”

“Nah, I'm rather content with having you in my arms.”

“Why so cheesy today, Ahjussi?”

He gave me a soft kiss on my cheek. “Perhaps I've just missed you too much.”

Being reminded of the fact that I've avoided him, I tensed. “I'm sorry.”

“Hey, there's nothing you should be sorry for.”

If only he knew how wrong he was.

I smiled ruefully. “I've missed you, too.” Then I glanced at the basket. “Hey, are you hungry?”

“Yes.”, he whispered and nuzzled my neck.

I laughed. “Not that kind of hungry! I mean hungry, as in starving for food, Babo.”

“I'm not that hungry.”

“Don't lie, I've heard your stomach growling while recording. Come on, let's eat. I've prepared your favorite food.”, I said and stepped out of his arms. Then I turned around and pouted. “I've put so much effort into cooking it for you.”

He took my hand and pulled me closer to give me a soft kiss. “To be honest, I kinda prefer to devour something, or rather someone else right now.” When I gave him a light punch, he chuckled. “But since you put so much effort into cooking it, I'm gonna hold off on this...” He gave me a long kiss, which left me breathless. “...and focus on the product of your culinary skills right now.”

“Stop teasing me, Ahjussi.”, I said and punched him again.

He laughed and pulled me towards the table. We both sat down and ate the food I made. After an hour, we gathered our stuff and he offered me to take a ride to my dorm in the van with his manager. I declined his offer but he insisted, so I gave in and we both drove towards my dorm. After a long but chaste kiss, considering the fact that his manager was in the van too, I stepped out of the car and went into the dorm. Just before I could sneak into my room, something, or rather someone grabbed my hand and pulled me into the living room.

“What the -”

“Shuuuush!”, she interrupted me.

The lights weren't on, so I had to squint very hard to recognize the person in front of me.

“Minah? What the heck? You scared the out of me!”, I hissed.

“Yeah, whatever. Now tell me where you were.”

“What?”

“Don't play dumb, Ha Ni. You rushed out of the practice room, when we were done with our schedule and you just came home. It's friggin' 2am right now! I was worried to death! WHERE. WERE. YOU?”

“I was...visiting someone.”

“And who did you visit?”

I hesitated. “Look...Minah, I can't -”

“Ha Ni.”, she interrupted me. “I know you. You were either visiting Wooyoung Sunbae...or you were visiting him.”

She didn't need to say his name, I already knew who she meant. “I was with Wooyoung Oppa.”, I said after a while.

She let out a relieved breath. “Ha Ni...I don't want to take sides...but you have to realize that you already have a great boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on...don't destroy this by making a mistake.”

“Thanks for making me feel guiltier than I already do.”, I muttered.

She put a hand on my shoulder. “I'm just trying to reason with you. Because I can understand the attraction you feel for Yoseob Sunbae, but you have to understand that it's just that: nothing more than mere physical attraction. With Wooyoung Sunbae, there's more than just physical attraction between you two.”

“But that's the problem, Minah. I'm not sure if it's just physical attraction between me and Yoseob Sunbae. I'm...I'm just so confused!” I let out a frustrated sigh. “I'm happy when I see his smiles and when he's sad, I want to comfort him. And when he ignores me, it hurts...more than you can imagine.”

“Ha Ni...”

“You know that I don't want want this! You friggin' know that I love Wooyoung Oppa and that I don't want to feel this way towards Yoseob Sunbae! But the problem is that my stupid heart doesn't care for what I want. I could try to ignore my feelings but I won't be able to stop my heart for skipping a beat when I see him, even though I'm with Wooyoung Oppa. My friggin' heart is torn between Wooyoung Oppa and Yoseob Sunbae, between yes and no, wrong or right.” I sighed. “You don't know how often I've wished that I could switch off my feelings with a snap of my fingers but unfortunately, it doesn't work this way.”

“Ha Ni...I wish I could help you with this problem. But unfortunately, this is something you have to solve on your own.”

“I know. But thanks anyway.” Suddenly I heard a faint nose. My head snapped towards the door. “Did you hear that?”, I whispered.

“What? I didn't hear anything.”, Minah answered confusedly.

Weird...I was sure that I heard something like a gasp coming from the hall. But maybe I was just being paranoid.

“Must have been my imagination.”, I said after a while.

“We should go back to bed.”

“Yeah, let's go.”

“Okay. And, Ha Ni?”

“Hm?”

“Things will work out someday.”

“I hope so. I really, really hope so.”

The days passed and the recording for the show 'Idol School' went well. Wooyoung and me, we both kept our distance in front of the others but once in a while, he would flash me a dazzling smile.

I was accompanying him to his live performances and fansignings, always staying behind the scenes and taking notes while being interviewed by Yunhee. She kept making hints about me and Wooyoung, asking if we were close and I kept telling her that I respected him as my Sunbae. Gosh, this woman could be really persisting.

The next day I met Yoseob during lunch break. When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat and I froze. I really wanted to ignore him but I just couldn't help it. Whenever I saw him, my mind wandered to the kiss in the practice room. I could still feel the taste of his lips on mine. I clenched my fists. I should stop behaving like an immature teenage girl having a crush on a guy she couldn't have. I took a deep breath. You can do it, Ha Ni. Be mature and put on your pokerface. Whatever he would say or do, you can handle it.

But it seemed like I was expecting too much. Yoseob came out of the room, passed me and then he was gone. No 'hello', no 'how are you?', just plain no acknowledging of my existence. It was like I did'nt even exist. I kinda encountered this before. Ever since the incident, he did his best to ignore me. But I thought that he just wanted to give me time to sort things out. Seemed like I was wrong. And then I had to accept it. This stupid mistake, it didn't only put a thorn in my relationship with Wooyoung, it also destroyed the friendship I had with Yoseob. But perhaps I should see the positive side of this. No matter what I felt for him, he made it clear that it wasn't mutual. And now that he practically ignored me, I had a better chance to forget him. Yes, time to move on, Ha Ni.

On my day off, I decided to visit my Aunt. But one of her best friend was sick, so my Aunt visited her to nurse her. Which meant that I had the whole house to myself and nothing to do. So I was lying on my bed, reading a book, while, once in a while, I couldn't help but glanced at the envelope and the book which my Aunt has given to me. Yeah, I still didn't find the courage to read the letter. I was a coward, I know. But the letter wouldn't run away, would it? This letter contained my Dad's last words to me and I just couldn't bring myself to read them....yet. Perhaps later, when it didn't hurt so much whenever I was thinking of my Dad. I was still grieving like crazy and I didn't know if reading the letter would improve the matter or make it worse. I didn't need a setback, especially when I finally learned to cope with my Dad's death. Yes, just a little bit more time and then, maybe then, I would be able to read the letter.

Just when I was about to continue reading, my phone started ringing. I stared at the display and nearly dropped my phone when I saw the caller ID. I haven't heard from her in ages. Did something bad happen again?

“Hello?”

“Ha Ni...”, she sobbed.

Alarmed, I sat up. “Yuri? What happened? Are you okay?”

She sobbed even more.

“Yuri, please, tell me what happened.” Then I considered. “Where are you?”

“Ha Ni...he did it...again...help me...”

“Where are you?”

“MH Entertainment Office...”

Suddenly I heard a loud thud. “Yuri?” No answer. “Yuri, are you there?” I still got no answer. Just when I wanted to jump up and rush out, I heard voices through the phone.

“What are you doing?”, a deep voice asked.

“Nothing. I did nothing.”, Yuri's high voice answered.

I could hear that she was frightened to death. Did that deep voice belong to the erted CEO?

“Don't lie to me! I can see your phone! Who were you talking to?”

“Nobody.”, she sobbed.

Suddenly I heard a loud slapping sound and Yuri's cry. Oh my gosh, did he hit hear? More slapping sounds followed. I held my breath, not daring to make a sound. I was on the verge of tears. What was poor Yuri going through right now?

“You useless piece of crap. Stop defying me! Don't you know how much you owe me? I took you in even though you have no talent. I paid for your lessons and that's how you thank me?” She just sobbed. “Whether you want it or not, you're gonna thank me. I'll tell you how you can show your gratitude towards me. And if you are a good girl, maybe you'll enjoy it, too.”

It took me everything to resist the urge to puke. That guy was so gross!

I heard a thud again and then the call was disconnected. Oh, crap. I really needed to hurry or else that disgusting guy would hurt Yuri. But how could I find her?

I quickly ran to my laptop and put the name of the company into the search machine. After several minutes, I finally got the address. I wrote it down and rushed out to grab a cab. During the drive, I tried to figure out how I could save her. I really wanted to call the police but I had to promise Yuri that I wouldn't do it. So I had to get her out of there on my own. But how?

Before I could come up with a proper plan, the cab stopped in front of a building. I gave the cab driver his money and jumped out of the car. When the car drove away, I quickly went towards the entrance of the building. Strangely, there were no security guys at the door. I just stepped into the building and looked around. There were no people here either. What the heck? It was just 8pm and and the staff members already went home? Well, to be honest, this gave me a better chance to walk around without being seen. I went from door to door, trying to find Yuri. Finally I heard some noises coming from a room in the 4th floor. I tiptoed to the door and put my ear on the door. The only noise came from Yuri. She was clearly whimpering. What did this bastard do to her? Maybe it had been wiser to call the police. But he was a rich businessman, he could buy 'his innocence' by bribing the people, and in comparison to him, Yuri was just 'a little girl who would do anything to get famous'. He would never see the interior of a prison. He would be free of any charges after a couple of days and then he would go after Yuri again. No, I needed to find a way to keep him away from her permanently. And I knew exactly how I could do it.

I opened the door as quietly as possible. Then I tried to peek into the room without him noticing me. The room looked like a small office. There was a small desk with a chair in the corner of the room. When I heard Yuri whimpering again, my gaze went to the middle of the room. There, Yuri was lying on the floor and that bastard was straddling her, holding down her legs while his fat hand covered . I could clearly see his filthy mouth kissing her neck while his free hand was groping her. I quickly took out my phone and recorded the scene. It took all my will power to not just jump up and kick that bastard but I had to stay still for a while.

Just several more seconds, please hang in there, Yuri.

When I made sure to capture his ugly face, I put my phone into my pockets and tiptoed into the room. The bastard was too focused on Yuri to notice me. I quickly grabbed the stool near the desk, struck out and smashed it on his back. He howled and fell down next to Yuri. Not caring for the splinters in my hand, I quickly grabbed Yuri and pulled her on her feet. Surprise was written all over her tear-stained face. I put her behind me and we slowly went towards the door. When he noticed that Yuri wasn't lying on the floor anymore, he looked up and when he saw me, he was beside himself with rage.

“I would re-consider doing something to us, if I were you.”, I said when he stood up.

“And why should I do that?”, he hissed.

“Because if we don't walk out of this door in three minutes, unharmed of course, my friend outside will call the police.”

Okay, that was a lie but that bastard didn't know that. I just hoped that he would be too dumb to find out the truth.

An evil grin spread through his ugly face. “Then call the police. I don't care. I'll just say that you girls attacked me and that I had to defend myself.”

“Yeah, that plan sounds good. Well, except for one fact.”

“And what would that be?”

“You didn't consider this.”, I said and pulled my phone out of pocket.

Then I played the video for him. When he realized what I recorded, he tried to reach for my phone. I quickly pulled back my arm and put the phone back into my pocket.

“Even if you try to get this phone from me and delete the video, I already sent it to my friend.”, I said and smirked.

“What do you want?”, he hissed.

“For you to stay away from Yuri. Don't you ever dare to lay a finger on her again or I'll spread that video on the internet.”

“You little piece of -”

“Uh oh, what a dirty mouth. Now let us go or my friend will spread the video. He has an itchy finger, you know.”

He scowled at us but he didn't move. I grabbed Yuri's hand and we slowly backed out of the room. When we were in the hall, I smiled at him.

“Have a nice evening, bastard.”, I said.

Then I slammed the door and ran out of the building, pulling Yuri with me. When we were outside, I quickly grabbed a cab. During the drive, I put my arm around Yuri's shoulders and pulled her towards me to hug her. She grabbed my jacket and buried her face into my shoulderblade. Then she started crying. I couldn't find any words to ease her pain, so I kept silent and just her back. After a while, she stopped crying but she was still clutching me.

“Thank you.”, she whispered. Her voice sounded so weak.

I kissed her head. “You're welcome.”

“And where's she staying now?”, Minah asked during lunch break after I've told her everything that happened yesterday.

“She's staying at my Aunts house right now.”

Minah clenched her fists. “I wish I could kick that bastard's for doing that to Yuri. Well, at least you smashed a stool on him.”

“Yeah, that has hurt like hell. It took me an eternity to get the stupid splinters out of my hands.”

“And how's Yuri doing?”

I sighed. “She's coping...somehow. She wouldn't let anyone touch her, except me. I had to talk to her for hours to convince her that my Aunt wouldn't hurt her.”

“Oh man, poor girl. Do you think I could visit her today after practice?”

“I think it's still too early for that. Sorry, Minah.”

“It's okay, I understand. Tell her that I miss her, okay?”

“Will do.”

We sat there for a while without saying anything.

“So...how are things going with you and Wooyoung Sunbae?”, she asked after a while.

“Everything's fine.”

“Did you tell him about, well you know, the incident?”

“No, I didn't. And I don't intend to do it.”

“Why? Don't you think that he deserves to know it?”

“Didn't you tell me that I shouldn't destroy the perfect relationship I have with Wooyoung Oppa, so why are you suddenly try to make me feel guilty?”

She sighed. “I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but I have been thinking about this the last days and I just can't get rid of the feeling that it's a bad idea to keep this from Wooyoung Sunbae.”

“No, don't do this to me, Minah. I've finally made up my mind and I really don't need this right now. I'm really happy with Wooyoung Oppa and I want him to be really happy, too. I can't stand to see the hurt and disgust in his eyes when he knows about the incident.”

“You really love Wooyoung Sunbae, don't you?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you'll forget your feelings for Yoseob Sunbae, won't you?”

“Yes, I will.”, I said with utter conviction, trying to ignore the uneasiness I felt.

“Okay, good. I'm just trying to help you, Ha Ni. I really don't want you to be wracked with guilt.”

“I'm okay, Minah.”

After that we returned to our lessons. At 10pm, after practice, I continued practicing on my own while the other trainees went back to the dorm. Our exams were coming up and lately, I have been too distracted to practice properly. So I kept dancing for hours. When I was too exhausted to continue, I decided to take a break. I lay down on the floor, trying to catch my breath.

“You were too slow during that last part.”, someone suddenly said.

Startled, I sat up and turned around. Yoseob was leaning against the door, his gaze resting on me. When I saw him, my heart skipped a beat again but I tried to ignore it. I raised an eye brow. “Oh, the Highness is talking to me again? Did you already get tired of ignoring me?”

He sighed. “I'm not ignoring you, Ha Ni. I was merely trying to avoid you to give you, and myself, time to sort things out.”

“Sort things out, huh?”

“Yes.”

“Don't worry, I'm really happy with Wooyoung Oppa. That kiss meant nothing to me.”

Okay, that was mean but part of me wanted to hurt him as much as he did to me when he ignored me. I looked at him, trying to observe his expression but he kept a blank face.

“Good. Because it didn't mean anything to me either.”

I couldn't help but wince at the harshness in his voice. But then I pulled myself together.

“Great. Seems like we managed to sort things out.”

Suddenly his face softened and he sighed. “Ha Ni, I -”

“If you don't mind, I need to continue practicing.”, I interrupted him.

I really didn't want him to pity me. A cold and mean Yoseob I could handle but if he was being nice again, I would never be able to forget my feelings for him.

Surprise was written all over his but then it was quickly replaced by a blank face. “Sure. Sorry for disturbing you.”, he said.

I turned my back to him and stood up. When I turned around again, he was gone.

The exam came closer with every passing day. I practiced from morning until late night, only taking a break when recording for the show. Things worked well with Wooyoung and my relationship to Yoseob...well, it was complicated. I really want to return to the relationship we had before I screwed up but I couldn't look into his eyes and see his smile while trying to forget him. So I kept my distance and so did he. The only interaction we had was a polite nod towards each other when we passed each other at the office. I missed spending my time with him and hearing his wise words but it was better this way.

On my day off, I went at my Aunt's house. Yuri and my Aunt went to the spa together. They told me to join them but I wanted to continue practicing after grabbing my things at my Aunt's house. When I was packing my bag, my gaze fell on my nightstand. I have been too caught up in my dilemma the last days that I totally forgot about the envelope and the book. I've told myself that I would read the letter after resolving my problems. And I did manage to do it, so I couldn't delay it any longer. I sighed and put the envelope and the book into my bag. Then I went out of the house and drove to the Cube office.

Around midnight, when I was done with practicing, I sat down on the floor. When I took my towel out of the bag, I caught a glimpse of the envelope. After staring at it for a while, I sighed and took it out of my bag. Once again, my finger traced the words on the envelope: my name, written in my Dad's familiar handwriting. After what felt like an eternity, I finally turned it around. I couldn't stop my hands from shaking while I slowly opened the envelope. My hands were still shaking when I was holding the letter in my hand. My eyes already teared up when I saw more words written in my Dad's handwriting. Taking a deep breath, I began to read.

Dear little nightingale,

if you are reading this letter now, then that means that I didn't get the chance to tell you this in person. I'm so sorry, dear. No matter what happened, never forget that I love you. You will always be my little nightingale. And I really hope that you'll still love me after reading this letter.

I never meant to keep something important like this from you but your mother and me, we thought that it was better this way. We only wanted to protect you. Please forgive me for being such an idiot. Our intention was right but lying to you was wrong. You deserve to know it. Ha Ni, I believe in you and I know that you'll do the right thing.

11 years ago, when you were just 9 years old, your mother was a witness in a murder. She saw the murderer running away from the crime scene when she was on her way home. With her help, they were able to catch the murderer and put him into prison. But then he vowed to take revenge on her. He said that he has friends outside of the prison and that they would avenge him. He saw your Mum when she was testifying against him at court. The police offered to take us under a witness-protection program but your Mum didn't want our family to keep running away from that guy and his friends because of her. She wanted us to live in peace, especially you. She didn't want you to be afraid of him. She wanted you to be free and happy. And that's why she had to make a decision. She refused the witness-protection program for the family and told them that she would take the danger from us by pretending to be dead. They made up her death and gave her another identity. Nobody knew the truth, except the people involved......including your Aunt and me.

I can understand that you hate me now for lying to you all these years and letting you think that your Mum was dead even though she is alive. I hate myself for doing this to you. But, Ha Ni, your Mum wanted to protect us and I had to respect her decisions.

All those years, I had no contact to her. I don't know how she has been doing and and what she did all those years. Every single day, I wanted to try to contact her but she didn't tell me her new name and address. She didn't want us to find her, still afraid that the murderer could find out that she was alive.

I'm really sorry, Ha Ni. No matter what, I hope that, one day, you can forgive me. Forgive me for lying to you....and forgive me for not being there with you to hold you and answer your questions.

I love you, dear. You are my little nightingale who brightens my dull life. You give me the strength to keep on moving.

Thank you for everything.

Dad

PS: Your Mum gave me her journal. She wanted me to give it to you if you would ever find out the truth.

The letter slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor. I was frozen by shock while the tears kept streaming down my cheeks.

Oh my gosh.

My Mum was still alive.

***********************************************************************************

A/N:

Hi there ~

It has been a while, right? 

The last months I have been concentrating on another project.

This project was another Story I wrote for my Friend Tua for her Birthday.

The Story's called 'As Time goes by, we will never stay the never stay the same.' 

I really hope that you will like it as much as my other Stories!

Enjoy this long Chapter and please comment to let me know what you think about it :)