"....and that's why I still can't understand her. I mean, enduring such horrible things just to get a small chance to debut? I would help her if she feels insecure but she won't listen to me. She doesn't want to come back and I'm really scared. What shall I do?"

I didn't get an answer. The only things I heard were the birds in the trees. I sighed and placed the flowers in front of the grave stone. Then I stood up.

"You know, Dad, it's kinda weird to talk to your grave like this. I wish I could talk to you in person...like before."

Silence.

"It would be nice if you could give me a sign that you're listening to me from...wherever you are right now.", I said and pouted.

When nothing happened, I let out a frustrated sigh. Okay, it was crazy enough that I was talking to a grave. And now I was even waiting for a sign from a dead person.

"Ha Ni, you are going crazy.", I mumbled.

Suddenly a breeze went through my hair, giving me goosebumps.

I closed my eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Dad."

 

Days passed and Yuri still didn't contact me. I really wanted to talk with Minah about the matter but I had to promise Yuri to not tell anyone about it. I was really worried. On one hand, I wanted to tell someone, so that he could help me pull Yuri out of the reach of the CEO's filthy hands...but on the other hand, I didn't want to ruin everything for her. What if she really could debut soon, and I would only hinder her? I couldn't do this to her. I kept trying to distract myself from thinking about this problem. It didn't really work but I still didn't stop trying. 

On my day off, I went to the house where my Dad & me once lived together. My aunt bought it but I still couldn't ask her why she did it. When I ate lunch with her, I took the opportunity to ask her.

She smiled ruefully. "Many memories are bound to this house. I bought it, so that I can give it to you later on. Your Dad would want it."

"Thank you.", I said.

After dinner I went into my old room. Just when I wanted to snuggle into my bed, I got a call. It was from Yuri.

"Hello? Yuri?", I said as soon as I picked up.

"Hello, I'm Lilly, Yuri's roommate. Are you Jung Ha Ni-ssi?"

"Uhm, yeah. Where's Yuri?"

She hesitated. "Yuri....Yuri is in a hospital."

"She is.....WHAT?!"

"I found her in the bathroom....there was so much blood....it was horrible...", she said and sobbed.

"Is...is she...."

"She's alive...for now...please come here..."

"Okay. Send me the address of the hospital. And thank you for calling me.", I said and hung up.

I quickly grabbed my jacket and ran downstairs. It would have been better to change clothes but I didn't care for my appearance right now. While rushing towards the door, I called for a cab.

"Ha Ni, where are you going?"

Startled, I stopped. My Aunt was still sitting in the living room, reading a book. Just like my Dad always did. She even sat on his place, drinking the same tea he used to drink and reading the same book. I quickly turned away before she could see my tears.

"A friend needs my help."

"At this hour?"

"It's an emergency.", I said and rushed off before she could ask more questions.

The cab arrived and I jumped onto the car. The cab driver gave me a confused look because of my pajama. I ignored it and told him the address to the hospital. Lilly was already waiting for me at the entrance. I thanked her once again for calling me and then we went into the hospital. 

"Excuse me, where do I find Kwon Yuri?", I asked a nurse.

"Are you a family member?"

"Her family's in the States and she has been living with me for a long time, so I'm practically her sister."

She considered. "Okay. Please follow me."

The nurse led us to a room near the end of the floor.

"The doctor's inside.", she said and rushed off.

"Just go in, I'll wait over there.", Lilly said.

I gave her a small smile. "Thank you, Lilly-ssi."

Then I took a deep breath and opened the door. Why did I always end up visiting those, who are close to me, in the hospital? Was I cursed? Was that the fate of everyone I loved?

I wiped away the tears. Yuri needed a strong friend right now.

"Good evening, Ms...?"

"Jung Ha Ni. A close friend of Yuri and practically her sister. Her family's not living here."

"Ah, I see. Well, then...Ms. Kwon had several injuries on her wrists. She lost a lot of blood but her roommate found her in time. Just a couple minutes later, and it would have been too late. She's stable now but she needs a lot of rest."

"Did you say 'injuries on her wrists'? Does this mean that..."

"It seems like these injuries were self-inflicted."

Dammit. "I see."

"If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask me."

"I will. Thank you."

The doctor nodded and left the room. I slowly walk towards Yuri's bed. Her wrists were bandaged and she looked very pale. I picked up a chair and sat down next to her bed. Then I reached for her face and gently pushed away the hair which was falling into her face. When she stirred, I quickly pulled away my hand.

"Hey.", I whispered when she slowly opened her eyes.

"Ha Ni." She looked around. "Where am I?"

"In the hospital." She tried to sit up but I stopped her.  "You need rest.", I said.

She sighed. "Ha Ni, I -"

"Let's talk later on, okay? You should sleep now.", I interrupted her.

"Oh....okay."

"Good night, Yuri."

"Good night.", she said quietly. Then she fell asleep.

When the nurse came in, she told me to go home. I insisted on staying because I didn't want to let Yuri alone, especially not after the doctor told me that her injuries were self-inflicted. Only when the nurse promised to keep an eye on Yuri, I could get myself to head back to the dorm. The next morning I excused myself from practice to visit Yuri. I would have to take extra lessons again to catch up to the others but Yuri was more important right now. When I came into her room, she was having breakfast.

"Hey, Ha Ni! Skipping practice again?", she asked and chuckled.

I arched an eye brow at her. "Yeah, practice can wait." I sat down on a chair next to her bed. "How are you feeling?"

"Great! You want a bite of my bread? Hospital food is lame but if you're hungry, you can eat anything, right?"

"Yeah, I guess. Uhm...Yuri...we need to talk."

Her smile dropped from her face. "There's nothing to talk about."

"Oh? You think? Then you don't think that we should talk about the fact that you're in a hospital? That you hurt yourself? That you did it with the intention to -"

"Okay, okay....I got it. No need to preach me."

"I don't really think that you got it. You promised me to call me when you can't endure it anymore! But no! No calls from you! Just a call from your roommate, who informed me that you were sent to the hospital? Can't you imagine how I felt when I got the message?"

"Ha Ni, I'm sorry..."

"Why? Why didn't you call me? I could've helped you."

"Yeah? What could you do? You wouldn't have been able to help me."

I pointed at her wrist. "And you think that this is a better solution than talking to me?"

She hesitated. "I didn't know what else to do...I was so desperate..."

"Yuri...I'm your friend...your sister by heart...I would've done anything to help you."

"And that is exactly why I didn't call you! You would've have endangered your own future, just to save me. How could I live with this guilt? You're better off without me anyway."

I slapped her. "Do you even hear yourself talking? How can you be so selfish? Didn't you think of us when you did this to yourself? Didn't you think of your family? Your friends? Me? I already lost my parents, now you want me to lose you, too?"

I wiped my tears away. She was holding the cheek where I slapped her, while staring at me.

Then she sobbed. "I'm so sorry...I didn't think of it this way....I just wanted to escape the disgusting memories of....him.....I'm so sorry..."

I quickly hugged her and her back. "And I'm sorry for slapping you."

"It's okay, Ha Ni."

"So..what are you going to do now?"

"I'm going back."

"What?! No, you're not!"

"Ha Ni, I can decide on my own."

"You really think I would let you go back to this disgusting jerk?"

"I have to go back. Where else could I go?"

"Uhm...Cube maybe?"

"No! I can't return to Cube!"

"Why not?"

"I just can't....I'm too ashamed of myself..."

"You don't have to! Minah and the twins really miss you."

"I miss them, too. But I still can't return."

"You don't really think that this jerk will ever let you guys debut, do you? He's abusing you and I bet he's abusing the other trainees, too. We have to report him to the police!"

"And then what? You really think that would change anything? He has connections and we are just a bunch of ordinary girls. Who would they believe?"

I let out a frustrated sigh. "But we have to do something!"

"It's okay. I can handle it."

"You know...I already heard this phrase from you earlier and now you're here. That's not going to work."

"But this time I can really handle it! And I already have an idea how I could change the situation."

I arched an eye brow at her. "What kind of idea?"

"You'll see. Now head back to Cube, you shouldn't skip practice because of me."

"Yuri...maybe we should ask for help. I could call -"

"No!! I don't want anybody to know about this matter!", she interrupted me.

"Why do you have to be so stubborn?"

"And why do you keep acting as if you're my Mom?"

"I'm worried, okay?"

"Well, there's no need to be worried."

I pointed at her wrist again. "No need to worry, huh?"

"Ha Ni. Go. I'm tired."

I stood up. "As you wish."

Then I quickly gathered my stuff and walked out of the room. Even though I was worried for her, her attitude was pissing me off.  I went back to the dorm and changed into my dancing clothes. After that I took a cab and drove to the Cube office. When I went into the practice room, the whole room went silent and everyone was looking at me.

"Look who's coming now. Good to see that you've finally decided to grace us with your appearance.", the coach snapped.

Hyomin gave me a satisfied smile.

Stupid hag.

"It was an emergency.", I said.

"There have been many emergencies lately."

"Well, next time I tell the people around me to postpone their deaths, so that I won't miss practice.", I retorted and walked out of the room.

I know it was stupid to act like a spoiled kid but I was still pissed off from the conversation with Yuri. I left the Cube office and went back to the dorm. Later, in the evening, Minah and the Twins came into my room. They wanted to talk to me about my behaviour back at the practice room but I didn't want to. I told them to leave me alone. Reluctantly, they all left the room. Just when I wanted to snuggle into my bed, Haeri came into my room. I never really talked to her before, considering the fact that she was one of Hyomin's henchmen, so you could imagine how surprised I was.

"Haeri. Hey. What's the matter?", I asked her.

"You look like you need distraction, girl."

"Maybe." I arched an eye brow at her. "Why do you even care?"

"I just wanted to go to the club with the other girls. You wanna join?"

"We don't even like each other. Why asking me to join you?"

She rolled her eyes. "Gosh, you really ask too many questions. We don't need to be friends to party together. The more, the better. So, come on! Let's have fun."

I knew that Haeri's behaviour was suspicious....but I had a really bad day and I needed distraction or else I would drown in my own depression. That was why I didn't need to think twice.

"Sure, why not?"

 

The music was banging from the loudspeakers right next to me. I would probably turn deaf tomorrow....but I didn't care at the moment. The only thing that mattered right now was that it was distracting me from my thoughts.

"You don't wanna dance?", Sora asked, when she sat down next to me.

"Nah, don't feel like dancing right now.", I answered.

"Hey, you came here to distract yourself. Sitting around while being lost in thoughts doesn't really help."

"Maybe she just needs a little bit help....from this.", Haeri said and gave me a glass.

"What's this?", I asked.

"A cocktail."

"Ah, no thanks. I don't drink alcohol."

Sora chuckled. "Oh, come on. Don't be such a party pooper. Just a small cocktail to get you into party mood."

"I don't think -"

"Just a small cocktail. It won't do any harm.", she interrupted me.

I just stared at the glass. Then I closed my eyes and poured it down my throat. I cringed because of the bitter taste of the cocktail. All of a sudden I felt a bit light-headed. I grabbed another cocktail from the table and drank it, too. After a while I lost track of the number of cocktails I drank. The only thing that mattered was that, with every cocktail, the weight on my shoulders became lighter. I stopped thinking about Yuri, the scolding from the coach and all the other things that made me depressive. 

Sora and Haeri were back on the dance floor. Just when I wanted to join them, I suddenly felt a bit dizzy. To get rid of the dizziness, I went outside. After a while I felt a bit better. But I didn't want to dance anymore, that was why I strolled around in the city. I had some difficulties walking straight. Without realizing it, I somehow ended up in front of the Cube office. It would have been wiser to return to the dorm but my body moved on its own. I took the elevator and went on the floor where all the practice rooms were. The world started spinning and I slumped on the floor. Suddenly I heard music coming out of one of the practice rooms. I crawled towards the door and peeked into the room. A figure was dancing to a song I didn't know. Judging from the voice, it sounded like a BEAST Song. 

Maybe it was one of their new songs?

When the person stopped dancing, he switched off the music. Then he sat down on a chair and leaned his head against the wall, his eyes closed.

Time for a surprise attack.

I slowly opened the door and crawled into the room, trying to not make a noise. When I was in front of his legs, I stood up. I leaned forward to take a look at his face. Like the last time, his face was that of an innocent child.

Suddenly I got an idea. I giggled and sat down on his lap, putting my hands around his neck.

“Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.”, I whispered and smiled.

He stiffened and opened his eyes. “Ha Ni?! What...what are you doing?”

“What does it look like, Yoseob Sunbae?”, I asked and smirked.

He arched an eye brow at me. “Are you okay? You seem...different.”

“I never felt better. So...now you're a carrot head, huh?”, I asked and giggled. Then I went through his hair with my fingers. “It kinda makes you look more y, you know.”

He grabbed my hands and put them down. “Ha Ni, are you drunk?”

“No, I'm not....I guess.”, I said and giggled.

“Get up, Ha Ni.”

I pouted and put my arms around his neck again. “Aww, come on, let's have some fun.”

“You're not thinking clearly right now. Come on, get up.”

“I don't want to. It's so comfortable right now.” I came closer, so that our faces were only inches away. “Or...are you feeling uncomfortable right now?”

He stared at me. Then he grabbed my hands again and put them down. “Get up.”, he just said.

I stood up abruptly. “You are such a jerk. If you hate me, then just say it already, instead of playing games with me.”

“Playing....games with you? When did I do that?”, he asked confusedly.

“All the time! First you are being oh-so-nice and friendly to me, caring for me more than a normal Sunbae would do, and then you are ignoring me, treating me like a stranger.”

“Didn't we talk about this already?”

“No, we didn't. I want answers. Now.”

He sighed. “Ha Ni, it's not the right time and place to talk about such things. And you are not yourself right now. Let's postpone this conversation.”

“No! I'm more myself right now than I've ever been. I want answers.”

He looked at me for a while with a blank expression on his face. I kinda felt uncomfortable under his gaze but I didn't want to back away. Not right now.

“You want answers, huh? Well, then I'll give you answers. I'm treating you like everybody around me. I was your mentor and now I'm your Sunbae, of course I care for you. And I'm very busy lately, I can't always stop by and chat with you. You're my Hobae, nothing more and nothing less.”

Nothing more and nothing less.

“I see. Sorry for bothering you.”, I said and quickly grabbed my bag.

Just when I wanted to rush out of the room, he grabbed my arm. “Ha Ni...” He paused. “Wait...are you crying?”

I quickly wiped away the tears. “No. Just an allergic reaction to the dust in this room. Please let go of my arm.”

He arched an eye brow at me. “You don't really intend to go home in the state you're currently in, do you?”

“So what? Why do you even care?”, I snapped.

“I told you already. Of course I care for you, Ha Ni.”

“You don't have to. I can take care of myself. Everyone around me left me already, I've learned to cope on my own. I don't need your care.”, I said and tried to pulled away but he didn't let go of my arm.

“Don't be so stubborn. Let me call a cab for you.”

“I'm not a child anymore. Leave me alone.”

“Yeah, but you're behaving like one right now. Why did you even drink so much? You're usually not like this.”

“Like what? A drunk party girl? Oh, I'm sorry, don't I live up to your expectations, Mr. I'm-so-moral?”

He let go of my arm. “You're not yourself right now. Go home and take a rest.”

“Sorry for disappointing you, teacher. But that's exactly how I really am. Take it or leave it. I have enough of trying to be someone else, just so that I can live up to your expectations. I'm sick and tired of pretending.”

“And who is the real Ha Ni?”

“The one who's standing in front of you right now.”, I said and left the room.

Then I quickly ran down and left the Cube office. When I was outside, I slumped on the door and started sobbing. I didn't even know why I was crying. It just felt like there was a bundle of emotion inside of me and I could only get rid of it by crying. Without even realizing it, I took out my phone and typed in a number.

“Hey, what's up?”, a cheery voice said over the phone.

“Oppa...”, I sobbed.

Silence. “What's the matter, Ha Ni?”

“Help me...”

“Where are you?”, he asked alarmed.

“Cube office...”

“Wait for me. I'll be there in a minute.”, he said and hung up.

I pulled my knees towards my chest and embraced them. Then I put my head on my knees and continued sobbing. After several minutes, a van stopped in front of the building. The door opened and Wooyoung jumped out of the car. When he saw me, he rushed towards me. “Are you okay, Ha Ni?”, he asked worriedly.

I looked up. “Can you take me back to the dorm, please?”

“Of course.”, he said and gave me his hand to pull me up.

When I was on my feet again, I saw Yoseob rushing out of the office. I gave him a glare and went behind Wooyoung. He gave Yoseob and me a confused look. “What's going on here?”, Wooyoung asked.

“Please take me back to the dorm.”, I said pleadingly.

“Yoseob? What's going on here?”

He sighed. “She's drunk.”

“She's what?” He turned around to look at me. “You are drunk?”

“No, I'm not.“, I said and pouted. “Yoseob Sunbae is mean. I don't want to see him anymore. Please take me back to the dorm.” I paused. "Hey, you know what's funny? Yoseob Sunbae is a carrot head and you're a lemon head."

Wooyoung gave me a funny look. Then he turned back to Yoseob. “Okay. She's really drunk.”, he said after a while.

Yoseob smirked. “Told you so.”

“Would you two please stop laughing at me? I'm not drunk.”

“Ha Ni, you can't even stand properly. Stop denying it. How much did you drink?”, Wooyoung asked.

I considered. “One cocktail. No, two. Ah..wait. Or was it three? Maybe four. Ah, I don't know!”, I said and let out a frustrated sigh.

They both chuckled. I glared at them and they laughed even more.

Then I sighed. “Can I go home, please?”

“Sure.”, Wooyoung said, still trying to stop laughing.

“Have a safe trip home.”, Yoseob said and smirked.

“You, too.” Then he turned to me. “Come on let's go.”

I walked towards the cab. On the way, I turned around again. Yoseob was still standing at the entrance, looking at us. I stuck my tongue out at him. He just laughed and went back into the building.

 

During the drive back to my dorm, Wooyoung didn't say anything. I kept glancing at him. After a while, I couldn't help but yawn.

“Tired, huh?”, Wooyoung asked and smirked. He was still looking out of the window.

“A little bit. It was an exhausting day.”

“I bet.”

“Hey, stop teasing me.”

“So....I guess you had a an entertaining night?”

“How did you know?”

“Duh. You're drunk.”

“I'm not drunk, okay?”

“If you say so.” He turned to me. “So, what's really the matter? You're usually not the type to get drunk.”

“Why? What type am I usually? The boring girl next door?”

“No, the girl who knows her limits. Especially as a trainee.”

“Geez, you and Yoseob Sunbae, you really think you know me, huh?”

“Don't we?”, he asked and smiled.

“No. I'm tired of bending myself to rules. Why can't I have fun like other girls?”

“Because you're not like other girls. You're a trainee now, Ha Ni. You chose this path yourself. Just keep working hard for your dream, you can have fun later on.”

I pouted. “Who knows if I'll ever gonna debut.”

“You will. I promise.”

“Whatever.”, I said and yawned again.

Wooyoung reached out and pulled me towards him. Then he gently placed my head on his shoulder while his arm went around my shoulder. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, finally realizing how tired I was. “Was that what was troubling you? Is that the reason why you....uhm...drank so much?”, he asked after a while.

“Partly.”, I said quietly.

“So...what's the real problem? You know that you can talk to me.”

You're just a Hobae, nothing more and nothing less.

“Wooyoung Oppa?”

“Hm?”

“Am I just a Dongsaeng to you?”

He didn't say anything. I didn't even know why I was asking him this question all of a sudden, especially when there were other reasons why I drank so much today.

“You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni.”, he said quietly.

I smiled and drifted off to sleep.

 

When I woke up the next morning, I felt horrible. My whole body was in pain and my headache was killing me. My alarm clock kept ringing, so I groaned and reached out to my night desk to turn it off.

What the heck was wrong with me?

I groaned again and tried to sit up. It didn't really work. The world started spinning and I had to lie down again.

Dammit.

Suddenly the door opened and Minah came into my room. “Good Morning!”, she shouted.

I winced in pain. “Jeez, turn down the volume, please.”

“Huh? What's the matter? Are you not feeling well?”

“Headache.”, I groaned.

Minah stared at me. Then she arched an eye brow. “Don't tell me....a hangover?”

“A hangover? How the heck did I....oh.”

“What 'oh'?”

“Ah....I went clubbing with Sora and Haeri yesterday night.”

“Sora and Haeri?! Are you kidding me? Don't tell me you suddenly joined the Hag League?”

“Nah, I just needed distraction. And they were offering it.”

“And why the heck did you drink so much to get a hangover? You're not the type of person to do something like this.”

Huh? This phrase sounded familiar...

“Uhm, hello? Ha Ni?”

“What? Ah, sorry....uhm, I don't really remember why I drank so much, to be honest.”

“Great. Don't let Mihri Eonni or the coach know about this. They are already mad at you because of the previous incidents.”

“I know, I know.”

She sat down next to me. “So....do you remember what happened after you got drunk?”

I considered. “Um....it's kinda blurry. I remember leaving the club because it was so stuffy.”

“And then?”

“And then.....I strolled around the area.”

“That's it?”

“I don't know...I can't really remember what happened afterward.”

“Oh my gosh, I really hope that you didn't do anything reckless.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Ah, seriously, why can't I remember anything?!” 

Suddenly my phone ringed. I got a text message.

“Huh? Who's writing you a text message at this time?”, Minah asked curiously.

I took a look at the screen.

“Wooyoung Oppa.”, I answered.

“Oooooh, come on, read it!”

I chuckled and opened the text message.

 

FROM: Wooyoung Oppa

Good Morning, Sleeping Beauty ~

Already feeling the hangover?

Don't forget that you owe me,

I had to carry you into the dorm yesterday.

Ah, you were so heavy keke

 

Oh my gosh. Oh my friggin' gosh.

“Hey, why are you so pale all of a sudden? What did he write?”, Minah asked.

When I didn't answer, she grabbed my phone and read the text message. “Oh my gosh.”, she said.

“I'll second this.”

“I really didn't expect Wooyoung-ssi to join the battle.”

I paused. “Which battle?”

“The battle for your heart, duh.”

“The....what? Are you serious?”

“Yeah. I mean, he practically carried you home yesterday. You can't tell me that nothing happened.”

“No....that can't be true. I'm pretty sure that nothing happened.”

“You don't even remember last night, how do you want to be sure that nothing happened?” She laughed. “Maybe you tried to harass him and he had to knock you out to save himself.”

I groaned. “Oh my gosh, please not.”

“There's only one way to find out what happened yesterday.”

“And that would be...?”

“Let's re-enact last night.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, why not? You have to admit that this is a brilliant idea.”

I sighed. “That's not how I wanted to spend my Sunday.”

“Come on! What if you did something really really bad last night? We need to find it out!”

“Thank you for your vote of confidence.”, I said sarcastically.

“You know what I mean. Let's go!”

Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all. I really wanted to find out what happened last night.

 

We both went to the club from last night. Needless to say, it was closed.

“So, you went out of this club...and then? Where did you go?”, Minah asked me.

I looked around. Even though this area seemed familiar to me, I couldn't really remember anything. Suddenly an image flashed in front of my eyes. Without realizing it, my feet moved on their own. I walk around the area, following the images that were burned into my mind. After a while we arrived at the Cube Office.

“Are you kidding me? You walked to the Cube office yesterday?”

I frowned. “I don't know. But I think yes. Let's go inside.”

“Uhm...I don't want to spend my Sunday in the Cube office, you know.”

“Yeah, and I didn't want to spend my Sunday walking around, playing detective.”

“Okay, okay. Let go inside.”

When we walked into the building, I tried to remember where I went afterward.

“And now?”, Minah asked.

“Uh...let's go to the practice rooms.”

“I still don't get why you went to the Cube practice rooms after clubbing, especially alone.”

“I'm asking myself the same question.”

When we arrived on the floor with the practice rooms, I looked around.

What the heck was I doing here last night? And how did I end up being carried into the dorm by Wooyoung?

“Let's head this way.”, I said and went towards a practice room.

We slowly opened the door and went inside. Needless to say, there was nobody here. In the corner was a music player with several chairs next to it. It felt familiar but that wasn't really surprising, given the fact that I often practiced in this room.

“Okay...and now?”, Minah asked impatiently.

“I have no idea.”

“Are you kidding me? Don't tell me, we went all the way to this place for nothing.”

“Sorry, I really can't remember anything.”

Minah let out a frustrated sigh and sat down on a chair next to the music player. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the wall. “Ah, my feet hurt and I'm so tired.”, she whined.

Suddenly I remembered something.

A person sitting on a chair. Me walking towards this person and sitting on his lap while putting my arms around his neck.

'Wake up, Sleeping Beauty.'

'Ha Ni?! What...what are you doing?'

'Aww, come on, let's have some fun.'

'I told you already. Of course I care for you, Ha Ni.'

Me running out of the building.

'Please take me back to the dorm.'

In the cab. He reaching out and pulling me towards him, while gently placing my head on his shoulder.

'You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni.'

“Ha Ni? Hello?”, Minah asked and pulled me back to reality.

“What...what?”

“Gosh, you were suddenly spacing out, staring at the wall like a zombie. Never do that again! You scared me to death, geez!”

I sat down next to her. “Sorry. Won't do it again.”

“So, what happened? Why did you turn into a zombie?”

“I don't really know. Suddenly there were some flashbacks...of last night, I guess.”

“Really? And what did you see?”

“It was so confusing. I was with somebody in this room. I sat on his lap and while putting my arms around his neck. Then some parts of a conversation. Apparently I got into a fight with him which lead into me running out of the building. Then he must have run after me. I wanted him to take me home. In the cab he pulled me towards him while placing my head on his shoulder. And the phrase'You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni'  is burned into my head. I must have fallen asleep after this and then it seems like he had to carry me into the dorm. Oh my gosh, so embarrassing.”, I said and buried my face into my hands.

“Embarrassing? Are you kidding me? That's so romantic!”

My head shot up. “What? Romantic?”

“Are you stupid? The phrase'You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni'  is perfect Korean drama material! Ah, I envy you!”

“What if I drooled while sleeping? Or what if I did something else stupid in front of him?”

“If the last thing he said to you was'You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni', then you definitely didn't do anything stupid. Or maybe he doesn't even care if you would do it. Oh my gosh, so romantic!”

“Stop repeating his phrase and stop repeating the word 'romantic', okay? I...I still have to process what happened last night. And I need to call Wooyoung Oppa and apologize to him.”

“And while you're at it, don't forget to arrange a date for you both.”

“Not funny, Minah.”

“Just stating the obvious.”

“But there's still something that's bugging me...what was Wooyoung Oppa doing at the Cube office?”

“Are you really that dumb, Ha Ni?”

“Hey, no need to insult me, okay?”

She chuckled. “You obviously went to the Cube office, who knows why, and in your drunken state, you somehow called Wooyoung Sunbae. He noticed your drunken voice and hurried to this place to save you from doing any more stupid things. And that's when you harassed him which led to him knocking you out to save himself from you. The end.”

I stared at her. “You should really stop watching all these Korean dramas.”

“You have to admit that this sounds reasonable.”

“You think him knocking me out sounds reasonable?”

“Yeah, why not?”, she asked and chuckled.

I massaged my temples. “Ah, my head's killing me.”

“Let's head back to the dorm. There you can take a rest and call Wooyoung Sunbae.”

I sighed and stood up. “Okay. Let's go.”

 

The dorm was empty, except for Minah and me. Seemed like the all the other girls went out already. We both sat down on the couch in the living room.

“You gonna call Wooyoung Sunbae now?”, Minah asked me.

“Should I? I'm scared, to be honest. What if I really did something stupid and now he thinks that I'm weird?”

“You'll never find out if you don't ask.”

I sighed. “Okay, I'll call him now.”

I quickly dialed his number and pressed the call button. I also the loudspeaker, so that Minah could listen to our conversation. She would have pressed her ear on my phone otherwise. It took a while before he answered the call.

“Hey, Ha Ni.”

“Hey, Oppa. How are you?”

He chuckled. “I should be the one asking you. Still suffering from hangover?”

“Was I that drunk yesterday?”, I asked and cringed from embarrassment.

“Let's just say that it was a refreshing experience to see you behave...well, so unlike your usual self.”

“This is just a nice way to say that it was funny to see me behaving like a total idiot while being totally drunk. Great.”

He laughed. “Yeah, I have to admit that it was funny.”

“Oh my gosh, so embarrassing.”, I whined.

“Don't worry, you were also kinda cute.”

I blushed. Next to me, Minah was jumping around happily. “So...uhm....did I....did I do something....weird?”, I asked hesitantly.

He paused. “Weird as in snoring and drooling all over my shirt?”

“What the...did I really drool and snore?!”

My face was as red as a tomato right now. Instead of jumping around happily, Minah was now rolling around on the floor, laughing quietly.

“Just kidding. You were just talking a lot. Seems like it's true that one of the effects of alcohol is to loosen one's tongue.”

“But I didn't say something weird, did I?”

“Define'weird' .”

“Uhm...like if I said something I usually wouldn't do.”

“You really don't remember anything from last night?”

“Just some parts. It's like having short flashbacks but that's even more confusing.”

I didn't dare tell him about what I remembered. I mean, I couldn't really say hey, I think I remember sitting on your lap and teasing you but I don't really know if that really happened´afterward' .

Absolutely not.

“I can assure you that nothing weird happened. Not when you were around me.”, he said and chuckled.

Seemed like he didn't want to embarrass me by reminding me of the sitting-on-his-lap-incident. I was totally okay with this. As if it wasn't awkward enough between us because of our past.

“Ha Ni?”, he asked and pulled me out of my thoughts.

“Hm?”

“You wanna hang out today?”

I startled. Did he seriously just ask me to 'hang out'  with him?

Next to me, Minah was giving me a shocked expression. Then she nodded exaggeratedly, motioning me to say 'yes' to him.

“Uhm.....sure.”, I answered after a while.

Minah gave me a thumbs up.

“I'll pick you up in 20 minutes, okay?”

“Okay.”

“See you later.”, he said and hung up.

“Oh my gosh.”, Minah said when I put down the phone.

“I'll second this.”

“So we really have a third man who's fighting for your heart.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Stop talking about this nonsense again. Yoseob Sunbae and Seungho Oppa are not fighting for my heart.”

“Ha Ni, you are so clueless. Everyone else would sell everything they have, just to be in your position. A soon-to-be idol, loved by three handsome and perfect men. That's every girl's dream!”

“I don't even know if I'll ever debut. And the 'three handsome and perfect men'  haven't even showed interest in me yet.”

“Yeah, sure. Seungho-ssi didn't piggy-back you, Yoseob Sunbae didn't care for you all the time and Wooyoung Sunbae didn't just ask you out on a date. Yeah, they never showed interest in you.”, she said and rolled her eyes.

I sighed. “They are just caring for me as a friend and it's not a date, we're just hanging out, okay?”

“Ah, I give up. You just won't listen to me.”

“Because you're talking nonsense.”

Minah rolled her eyes again. “Let's stop this stupid fight and start thinking about your clothes.”

“What's with them?”

“You really wanna meet Wooyoung Sunbae while wearing this outfit?”

I looked down at myself. Today I was wearing a plain white oversized shirt and washed-out jeans with white sneakers. “Why not? I like my clothes.”

She sighed. “Wait a moment.”

Then she went to my wardrobe and pulled out all drawers. After a while she took out dark blue skinny jeans and a V-Neck Shirt with black and white stripes. She also found a brown belt and brown sneakers.

“Wear this.”, she said and handed me the clothes.

“Are you kidding me?”

“Why? You have a nice figure, why not showing it? It'd be such a waste to hide it.”

“But Wooyoung Oppa is just a friend, no need to impress him.”

“You're a girl, so dress like one. Now go change your clothes, he's coming soon.”

It was pointless to argue with her, that was why I changed clothes without saying anything. After a while, she suddenly shouted “He's here! Hurry, hurry, hurry!”

I quickly put on my shoes. “Okay, I'm done!”

“Then don't let him wait any longer, Babo.”

I quickly hugged Minah. “I don't want to leave you back here while going out.”

“It's okay. I'm gonna call the twins and hang out with them. Have fun with Mister Gorgeous.”

“Have fun with the twins! Maybe you'll find some cute guys.”

“I hope so, too.”, she said and chuckled.

After another hug, I quickly rushed out of the dorm. The door to the van was open and I was greeted with a bright smile.

“Hey, beautiful.”

“Hey.”, I said and stepped into the van.

Wooyoung was wearing blue jeans and a black V-Neck shirt. I had to fight hard not to stare at him. Why did he had to wear a V-Neck shirt today? I loved guys with this kind of shirts.

“Where are we going?”, I asked while looking out of the window.

“It's a surprise.”

We didn't talk during the whole drive. I was still feeling a bit uncomfortable, even though I didn't really know why. Maybe it was because of Minah and her stupid ideas. I mean, it couldn't be true that this was date, right?

“We've arrived.”, Wooyoung said, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I quickly looked out of the window to find out where we were. It was too dark, so it was a bit difficult to see anything. I only saw some lights. Where were we?

“Come on, let's get out of this van.”, he said and opened the door.

Then he stepped out and gave me his hand. I took it and he pulled me out of the car. Now that there weren't blackened windows anymore, I could finally see the place.

We were at the Han River.

I have been here several times but never at night. It was breathtakingly beautiful. All those lights from the other side of the river being reflected in the water. I've never seen something so beautiful.

“Nice, isn't it?”, Wooyoung asked next to me.

“Yes.”, I whispered, still in awe. 

“Come on, follow me.”, he said and went ahead. Only now did I notice that he was wearing a cap. He must have put it on when I was staring at the river. He was also carrying a big bag with him. Near the river, where there was grass on the ground, he stopped and pulled out a big blanket. Then he spread it over the ground. “Sit down.”, he said and motioned to the blanket.

Hesitantly, I sat down on the blanket. He sat down next to me.

Okay...this wasn't what two friends would do when they were 'hanging out' . Absolutely not.

“You often come to this place?”, I asked.

“Yeah. It's where I can find shelter from the hectic life of an idol.”

“You shouldn't overstrain yourself so much. You look really skinny lately.”

“I could say the same about you. Don't deny it. I can clearly see that you're suffering from mental AND physical exhaustion. Why don't you take a rest? Especially after your father's....” He trailed off.

“After my Dad's death? I already took several weeks off, I can't be absent from practice for too long. I can handle it.”

I can handle it.

Yuri.

Just thinking of her brought tears to my eyes. Ever since our fight at the hospital, I didn't hear anything from her. I tried to call her but she never answered her phone. I really hoped that the only reason why she didn't picked up was because she was still mad at me...and not because something happened to her.

“You okay?”, he asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I quickly wiped away the tears. “Yeah, I think something flew into my eyes.”

“I see.”

“Oppa?”

“Hm?”

“What would you do if some of your friends is suffering and you really want to help her but you can't because it would endanger her future?”

He considered. “Is the path she's walking really worth suffering for?”

“I'm quite sure that there's a better – and safe – way but she just won't listen to me. She even tried to take her life because she couldn't handle it anymore.”

“Then as a friend, you should talk to her and tell her that her life is way more important.”

“I did but now she's mad at me and won't pick up the phone when I call her.”

“Maybe she just needs time to process what you told her.”

“But what if something happens again?”

“Then there's another way. Meet her and talk to her again, so that she can't ignore you. There just so much a friend can do. You can't change her mind if she's not willing to understand your point of view.”

“So you want me to abandon her?”

“No, I'm just telling you that she's old enough to decide on her own. If she makes mistakes, you, as a friend, can try to reason with her. But if she won't listen, then the only thing you can do, is to be there for her when she needs you.”

“I see.”

“Hey, stop looking so sad.”

I smiled ruefully. “It's just that I'm so worried.”

“That's one of your wonderful traits. Always carrying for others more than for yourself. But it's also stupid.”

“Hey!”, I said and nudged him.

He chuckled. “Oh my, why so violent, little Ha Ni? That's not very girly.”

“So what? Then I'm not girly. You have a problem with it?”

“No. I have to admit that it's very refreshing. There are so many divas around me, having someone like you around me, it's like breathing fresh air after being in a stuffy room.”

“I'll take this as a compliment.”, I said and chuckled.

“It was one.” Then he smiled. “Are you hungry?”

“Yeah, a little bit.”

“Okay, let's eat.”, he said and pulled out a plastic bag.

When he open the boxes, the smell of fried chicken hit me. I didn't know that I was that hungry. I had to fight the urge to start drooling. We started eating while he told me some funny stories about s. I nearly had to choke several times from laughing. When we finished eating, he stood up and threw the boxes into a nearby trash can. Then he came back and lied down next to me. I lied down, too.

“Thank you for the meal, teacher.”, I said and chuckled.

“You're welcome, student.”

"By the way, I like your blonde hairstyle."

He chuckled. "Thank you."

After that we didn't talk anymore. We just stared at the sky.

Why couldn't I get rid of the feeling that this was wrong? That I shouldn't be here with him? That I would regret this later on? Why did I feel so uncomfortable?

All these questions flew through my mind while we were lying next to each other.

“You really don't remember anything from last night?”, he asked after a while.

“I told you already, there are only short flashbacks, but it doesn't really make any sense to me.”

“You remember what we were talking about in the cab?”

I slowly turned to him. He was also looking at me. Was it wrong that I felt squeezy when he was looking at me like that?

In the cab. He reaching out and pulling me towards him, while gently placing my head on his shoulder.

'You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni.'

Did this really happen? Or was I only imagining it?

Only one way to find it out.

“Am I just a Dongsaeng to you?”, I whispered.

He kept looking at me. “You know that you're more than a Dongsaeng to me, Ha Ni.” I was too speechless to answer. He smirked. “Like what you see? Or why are you staring at me like that?”

“Ah, stop being so cheeky”, I said and nudged him.

He turned serious all of a sudden. “And you also know that nothing has changed.”

“What hasn't changed?”, I asked quietly, even though I already knew the answer. But I wanted to hear him say it out loud.

“The way I feel...about you." He paused. "Ha Ni, please come back to me.”

Just when I was about to retort something, I suddenly heard loud noises. Curious, I sat up and looked around. That was when the fireworks started. The whole night sky was lightened up by colorful lights.

It was like déjà vu.

“Just like in Japan.”, I whispered.

“It was one of the best fireworks I've ever seen. You know why?” I shook my head. “Because I could enjoy the view with someone I love.”

I considered. “It was indeed one of the best fireworks I've ever seen...next to this one.”

Suddenly he gently placed his fingers above my chest and pushed me down. With a smirk, he hovered over me, his face only inches away from mine.

“I take this as a 'yes' .”, he said and smiled.

Then his lips were on mine. Even though I was startled for a moment, I found myself kissing him back. I enjoyed the soft feeling of his lips on mine, lingering in the sweet moment where it was just us. Just for a moment, there was only him and me at this beautiful river, while the fireworks were still painting wonderful colors into the night sky.

“I've missed you.”, he whispered, when his lips left mine.

I smiled. “I've missed you, too........Ahjussi.”

He sat up and chuckled. “Ah, way to ruin the moment, Ha Ni.”

I grabbed his shirt and pulled him down again. “You're the one ruining the moment, Babo.”

“Am I? I'm sorry. How can I make it up to you?”, he asked and smirked.

I smiled. “You know exactly how.”

“It'll be my pleasure.”, he said and kissed me again.

 

We spent the rest of the night like this. Hours later he drove me back to the dorm. After a long goodbye kiss, I stepped out of the van and rushed into the dorm. Minah was already waiting for me.

“Tell me everything!”, she said when I stepped into my room.

“Well, hello to you, too.”, I retorted.

“So...how was it? And don't lie to me, I can tell by the way you're glowing that something happened. Something juicy.”

“Oh my gosh, stop being so erted.”, I said and threw my pillow at her.

“Come on, I'm curious.”, she said and pouted.

“Could you two please stop being so loud? I want to sleep. Geez.”, Minjung snapped.

I grabbed Minah's hand and pulled her out of my room into the living room. There, I told her everything what happened today. We talked until early morning. Then we decided to take a nap for several hours before heading to practice. I was feeling groggy but it was okay. Thinking of yesterday gave me energy. During break, I passed one of the other practice rooms, when I suddenly heard a song. It sounded familiar, even though I was sure that I've never heard it before. Curious, I peeked through the slightly opened door. I was positively surprised to see the BEAST guys practicing. I watched them for a while. Just when I wanted to leave, the coach told thm that they could take a break. Yoseob's gaze caught mine. He said something to the other guys and then he went towards my direction.

“Hey, Ha Ni. Uhm...we need to talk.”, he said when he approached me..

“Hey, Sunbae.”, I said and smiled. Then I took a look at his hair. “So...you're a carrot head now?”

He arched an eye brow at me. “What? You said the exact sentence before already.”

“Did I? But I don't recall seeing your new hairstyle before.”, I said confusedly.

“Wow. How much did you actually drink?”

“Huh? How did you....okay, who told you this?”

“No, I -”

He got cut off by the ringing of my phone.

“Excuse me.”, I said and took several steps back to pick up the call.

“Hey, student.”, he greeted me through the phone.

“Hi there, teacher.”, I said and smiled.

“Still having practice?”

“Nope, break time.”

“Do you have time next Sunday?”

“Why?”, I asked cheekily.

“It's a surprise.”

“What if I don't like surprises, Wooyoung Ahjussi?”

“I can recall you liking my last surprise.”, he said and chuckled.

“Hey, you were the one throwing me off my guard with the kiss, okay? Next time I'm gonna be more careful.”

“We'll see how long your control will last.”

“Okay, challenge accepted!”

He chuckled. “I can't wait to win. Okay...gotta go now. I'll call you later on.”

“Okay. Bye.”

“Bye.”, he said and hung up.

I quickly put the phone back into my pockets and went back to Yoseob. “Sorry, it was urgent.”, I said.

He arched an eye brow at me. “Was it, huh?”

“Yeah.”

He paused. “So...you and Wooyoung Hyung are dating each other again?”

What the...?

“Did you eavesdrop on my conversation just now?”, I snapped.

His face turned blank. “I didn't need to. You weren't really speaking quietly, you know.”

“I still think that it's none of your business.”

“You're right. It's none of my business.”

Jeez, this guy was so irritating. “So...what did you want to talk about?”

“Never mind, it's no longer relevant.”, he said and went back into the practice room.

If I didn't know better, I would say that he was jealous. But it was probably just my imagination.

 

************************************************

A/N:

Hi there ~

A really long Chapter again keke

So, I'll be flying to Vietnam for a month. I don't think that I'll be able to update during my stay there, so I'm gonna make it up to you beforehand for my upcoming absence with this long Chapter :)

ENJOY!

Please keep commenting to let me know how you think about this Chapter! I'm still trying to improve my writing skills, so constructive criticism and reviews are welcome ~

Love y'all <3