“Are you blackmailing me?”

His smile widened. “You know, 'blackmailing' is such a dirty word. Let's call it 'bargaining'. So, now tell me what you are willing to pay.”

“What do you want, Jihoon? Stop beating around the bush and tell me already.”

“I want you to purposely fail the next round. If you do this, I won't tell anyone about the juicy bit about your little love triangle with some certain idols.”

“I trusted you. How can you stand before me and demand this from me?”

“Everyone has to find his own way to survive in this business.”

I sighed. “I thought you were a nice guy, Jihoon. Was I that wrong, huh?”

“Oh, but I am a nice guy. It's just that I really want to win this contest and you are a strong rival. I saw the the other episodes, so I know exactly how mind-blowing your vocal skills are.”

“You are good, too. Why don't you try to win this competition by playing fair?”

“Because nothing in this business is fair, Ha Ni.”

I crossed my arms. “I have been playing fair all the time now and I got this far.”

"Beginner's Luck. Sooner or later, you are doomed to fail.", he said and shrugged. “Now, do we have a deal?”

“Do I even have a choice?”, I asked dryly.

“No, not really.” He smiled. I wished I could've punched that smug smile out of his face. “So, we have a deal. And I guess it's unnecessary to tell you that no one but you and me should know about this deal....?”

“Let me guess. If I happen to tell anyone, you'll publish my secret?”

“You are a clever girl, Ha Ni.”

“Whatever. I need to get ready for my performance. Because even though I have to 'purposely fail' this round, people should still believe that it wasn't on purpose, right?”, I asked and glared at him.

“I can only repeat what I said earlier: You're a clever girl.”

“Yeah, whatever.”, I said and turned around.

Just when I was about to walk away, he pressed himself against my back and put an arm around my waist. “You know, you are just my type, Ha Ni.”, he whispered into my ear. “If it weren't for this competition, I think we could have been good friends. Maybe even more. I really like you, Ha Ni.”

Disgusted, I pushed his arm away and stepped away from him. “I'm sorry, but I can't say the same about you.”

Without looking back, I walked away.

While the other trainees were already dressed and styled for their solo performance, I was still sitting in the dressing room, only dressed in my underwear, staring at myself in the mirror. And yeah, I was a mess. Well, not on the outside. My appearance didn't show anything about my chaotic emotional state. My hair was still styled from my solo dance performance. Even my makeup was still perfect, even though I had been sweating a lot during my last performance.

The only thing that could have hinted at my emotional state was me sitting in just my underwear in this room, while staring at nothing in particular.

“Oh my gosh! What the heck is going on here?”, Yunhee exclaimed when she came into the room. “Why aren't you dressed yet? And your hair, oh my gosh, where are the stylists?”

“I sent them away.”, I mumbled.

“You did WHAT? Jung Ha Ni, suffering from stage fright is no excuse for acting like this!” She ran out of the room and came back several seconds later, with two stylists in tow. I didn't even have enough strength to protest when they started fiddling about my hair. After they removed my makeup from the other performance to apply more restrained makeup for the next performance, they pulled me towards the clothes rack to help me put on my gorgeous dress. All the while, I didn't say anything.

When they wre done, Yunhee grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the back of the stage. Jay, Bomi and Mei were already standing there. I gave them a weak smile but when I caught sight of Jihoon, the smile slipped from my face.

“You okay, Honey? You seem a bit pale.”, Jay asked when I approached him.

“I'm just nervous.”

“It's okay, you will blow them away with your amazing voice.”

I smiled ruefully. “I don't think you should help your rival, Jay-Jay.”

“You may be my rival but you're also my friend. I'm all about fairness.”

“Why can't everyone be like you?”, I asked and sighed.

He gave me a confused look but before he could ask me what I actually meant, his name was called. I gave him a quick hug while wishing him luck.

“I don't need luck, Honey. You should know that by now.”, he said and grinned. I just rolled my eyes. Suddenly he leaned forward and whispered: “By the way, you look stunning! If I didn't have to concentrate on my performance right now, I would ravish you behind the loudspeakers.”

“Oh, shut up, you casanova.”, I laughed and punched his shoulder. He just laughed and rushed towards the stage.

When I glanced at Jihoon, he was arching an eye brow at me. Seems like he must've heard the 'fairness' part of my conversation with Jay. I turned away, not being able to look at him without having the urge to puke.

“Are you and handsome boy wonder an item?”, someone asked next to me.

Looking up, I saw Bomi standing beside me. I couldn't help but stare confusedly at her. Did she just talk to me? The inapproachable and distant Bomi?

“Uhm, hello? Don't you speak Korean?”, she asked when I still didn't answer.

I pulled myself together. “Uhm, who do you mean?”

“Isn't that obvious? I mean the YG prodigy, who's on stage right now. You guys are always all over each other, so I wanted to know if you guys are an item.”

“What? Jay and me? Oh my gosh, no, of course not! He's just a friend. And by the way, I'm not into casanovas.”

“Well, you guys seem pretty lovey-dovey around each other.”

I couldn't help but laugh. “Jeez, if you mean the way he keeps flirting with me....well, he pretty much does that with every female who's around him.”

“So he's single?”

“Uh....” Okay, so it was obvious that Bomi wanted something from Jay. And I would have gladly sent her to him, if it weren't for Trish. Because it was also obvious that she had a thing for him, even though she didn't want to admit it. That's why I couldn't let Bomi chase after Jay.

“He may be a casanova,but I know that he's in love with someone else.”

“Which means he's taken?”

“Well, uh, not exactly but -”

“Then he's single. Thanks for the info.”, she said and walked away.

Ah, crap.

When Jay was done with his performance, it was my turn. I took a deep breath and walked towards the stage, getting ready to ruin everything I have worked hard for.

I slowly went to the middle of the stage while the audience was still cheering for me. I saw Seungho and Trish smiling at me while Wooyoung nodded at me. I tried hard to smile back. No matter what, I was about to disappoint them. Wooyoung and me, we were working so hard on my vocals during the last months. And now I had to throw all that hard work away. But I had to do this. I had to protect him and Yoseob. They didn't deserve to suffer for my mistakes.

When the music to Joo's 'Bad Guy' started playing, I began to sing. I knew that I had to purposely fail this round, but it had to be convincing or else Jihoon would break our deal. Normally I'd have switched off my mind and just sang with my heart. But today, I had to concentrate on finding the right timing to place a mistake. During the refrain, I pretended to run out of breath during the long notes. Near the end, I pretended to forget the lyrics. All the time, I didn't dare to look at Wooyoung or Seungho and Trish. I was already embarrassed, I didn't need to see their disappointed faces to make me feel even worse than I already did.

But when I glanced at Jihoon on the side of the stage, I saw him smiling at me while giving me a thumbs up. I felt the anger and frustration rising inside me, causing me to clench my fist. When the song ended, I bowed quickly and rushed off the stage.

Passing the others, I saw Bomi and Mei giving me pitying looks. If Bomi was actually pitying me, I must have really messed up. Jay's face, on the other hand, was a mixture of confusion and suspicion. Not wanting to answer uncomfortable questions, I headed straight for the dressing room. There, I slumped down on the chair and buried my face into my hands.

Right now, I was really angry and disappointed. Angry at Jihoon for blackmailing me and disappointed at myself for letting it come this far. In the end, it was all my fault. I haven't been careful enough.

My eyes were already tearing up but I had to fight back the tears. I didn't want to ruin the makeup. In a couple minutes, I had to go on stage again for the next elimination round and I didn't want the others to know how devastated I was.

After I calmed down a bit, I stood up and went back to join the others. Jay approached me immediately. “What the heck, Ha Ni? Did someone switch you with another Ha Ni? Because the one who was singing earlier was not the Ha Ni I know.”

“I was nervous. I messed up. Can we stop talking about this, please?”

“Forgetting the lyrics is messing up. But it was like you forgot the basic rules for singing! Ha Ni, you are an outstanding singer, one I look up to, and your performance earlier was way under your level.”

“Well, thanks for your encouraging words.”, I said dryly.

“Is something troubling you?”, he asked and gave me a concerned look.

“No.”, I said curtly.

“Ha Ni -”

“Jay, stop it.", Jihoon said when he approached us. Seeing him, I tensed immediately. "Can't you see how devastated she already is? Stop bugging her.”

“This is none of your business, okay? I know Ha Ni longer than you and I know exactly how good she is.”

“If you may know her longer than me, then why can't you see the sadness in her eyes? She's already devastated, she doesn't need you to judge her.”

“I'm not judging her, I'm just trying to understand!”

“What's there to understand? She was nervous, so she made a mistake. Nothing unsual, to be honest. You make it sound like she's already eliminated. You know, no matter what, Ha Ni is till an exceptional singer and the jury knows that. If they do eliminate her for these small mistakes, then they don't know her true potential.”

While listening to Jihoon's contrived defense of my skills, I had to fight the urge to puke. How dare he force me to purposely fail my performance and then pretend to believe in my skills. I hated him even more now.

And Jay....he knew me so well. He knew that it wasn't the way I was normally singing and he knew that something was troubling me. It hurt me to act as if he was wrong.

“I was just nervous, Jay. Nothing more.”, I said.

He still didn't look convinced but chose to remain silent. Minutes later, we were called to the stage. One after another, we went to the middle of the stage, facing the audience. This time, I couldn't help but glance at the first row. Both Trish and Seungho were smiling at me, but I could see the pity in their eyes. Wooyoung, on the other hand, was frowning at me. He was looking at me the same way Jay did earlier. It wasn't a surprise though. Just like Jay, he knew about my singing skills. He was my teacher during the last months after all.

When I turned away from them, I caught sight of other familiar faces. Beast was sitting at the far end of the first row, that was why I didn't notice them earlier. They were all smiling at me, trying to cheer me up. Well, yeah, except Yoseob, he was busy staring at something else on stage. Or rather someone else. When I followed his gaze, I saw that he was looking at Bomi, who was busy smiling at Wooyoung. Seeing him staring at her so intensely, broke my heart. So people like Bomi were his type. Fragile, doll-like girls...no wonder he wasn't interested in me. I was far from being fragile and doll-like.

Now I felt even worse than before.

When the jury started judging our performance, my heart began to beat like crazy. I knew that I messed up but hearing it being confirmed made it even worse. They had high expectations for my performance and I disappointed them badly.

“And what about our dear Ha Ni-ssi?”, the MC asked.

Here it comes.

“I have to say that I like the sound of your voice.” the dance coach said. “But unlike your first performances, I couldn't see and hear the passion. It was way too flat.”

Ouch.

Now it was the voice coach' turn. “Ha Ni-ssi, I have watched the other episodes with you and I was so sure that you were one of the most talented singers from all of the trainees here. But after listening to your solo, it seems I must have been mistaken. I don't know if it was because of stage fright or nervousness, but you made many mistakes. Things like breathing correctly or memorizing lyrics....well, as a talented rookie, you should be past this things. I was highly anticipating your solo, Ha Ni-ssi, and to be honest, you didn't live up to my expectations.”

Double ouch.

Every point of criticism was like a stab to my heart. I was always so proud of my voice and now I had to endure being ripped apart by judges.

When the jury members where done, it was time to reveal the eliminated trainees. This time, three more had to go. Once again, our faces appreared on the monitor with little boxes underneath them. When the screen went white for a moment, I held my breath. On one hand, I knew I had to fail this round or else Jihoon would spread the word about Yoseob, Wooyoung and me, but on the other hand....I couldn't help but wanting to pass this round, no matter how much I've messed up.

So, when our faces appeared again and I saw the red cross underneath my picture, my heart sank, even though I knew that this would happen. The other eliminated Trainees were Bomi and Mei. So it seems like the remaining ones would be Jay and Jihoon. Jeez, that jerk really managed to pass this round. I glared at his smiling face on the screen with the green circle underneath it. Jerk. I really hoped that Jay would beat him. Well, that wouldn't be very hard, to be honest. Jay was better anyway.

Everyone, beside Jay and Jihoon, had to leave the stage. Totally crushed, I walked to the back of the stage. There, the staff members told us to change into our outfits from the first performance and then to take a seat next to our teachers in the first row.

I went back to the dressing room and slowly got out of my dress. When I was done changing, I slowly walked towards the first row, purposely ignoring everyone until I found my seat. Without saying anything, I sat down next to Wooyoung. He must've noticed my mood, because he didn't say anything either.

We watched the final battle between Jay and Jihoon. This round was all about freestyle dancing. Random music was played and they had to show their dancing skills, with the purpose to outshine the opponent. I knew that Jay would definitely win this battle because he was an excellent dancer. He was YG's dance prodigy after all.

So you could imagine my surprise when the battle started. While Jihoon's moves were smooth, Jay's moves seem kinda sluggish. That wasn't like him. His moves were always swift and smooth....and not like this. What was going on with him?

Then I remembered my conversation with Jay from earlier. Was it the same with him? Was he purposely making mistakes because Jihoon was blackmailing him too? But what could he possibly hold against Jay? It wasn't like Jay was entangled in a 'scandal' like me. So it must have been something else.

When the battle ended, Jihoon was smiling smugly while Jay was out of breath, looking totally exhausted. This time, viewers were able to call for their favorite. 50% of the final result was from the viewers' vote and the other 50% were from the jury's vote.

When it was finally time to announce the winner, I held my breath. They had to know how good Jay was. They just couldn't judge him by the last performance. They couldn't let the jerk Jihoon win.

This time, only the face of the winner would appear on the monitor. The whole hall was quiet for a moment while everyone was staring at the monitor.

“Well, then let us reveal the winner of 'Idol School'!”, the MC announced. ”And the winner is........”

The monitor went white again. The earlier silence was interrupted by cheers for Jay and Jihoon. And when Jihoon's face was smiling at us from the monitor several seconds later, I stopped holding my breath and sighed. Ah, crap.

“Don't look so disappointed, Ha Ni.”, Wooyoung said next to me. “I know thatJay is your friend but you should cheer for Jihoon-ssi as well. They both gave their best in a fair fight and Jihoon-ssi was better. You should accept it.”

Huh. If only he knew. Something like 'fairness' didn't exist in Jihoon's vocabulary.

“I know, Sunbae.”, I just said.

Because the seats were close to each other and because our arms were practically squeezed between us, I felt it when he tensed. Confused, I looked at him.

“What's the matter?”, I asked.

“You just called me 'Sunbae'.”

“So? You are my Sunbae after all. Or do you want me to call you 'Seonsaengnim'?”

“You didn't call me 'Sunbae' before.”

“I don't think it's wise to call you 'Oppa'. Not anymore.”

“Why? Because of him? Do you prefer to call him 'Oppa'?”, he asked. I could hear the hidden anger in his voice.

“Don't do this. Not here, not in front of everyone.”, I whispered.

He clenched his fists and turned away from me. I took the hint and re-focused on the people on the stage. Jihoon was being interviewed by the MC while Jay was walking to the back of the stage. Yeah, well, he was rather shuffling than walking. Why was he so exhausted? The battle couldn't have been that strenuous. Worried, I stood up and rushed after him. I finally found him on the ground behind a loudspeaker. He was sitting there, his back against the wall while his eyes were closed. I crouched down between his legs.

“Jay?” When he didn't react, I gently cupped his cheek. “Hey, Jay, are you okay?”

Finally he opened his eyes. “Oh, hey, Honey. Why are you looking at me as if I'm a ghost?”

“Why are you so exhausted?”, I asked. He closed his eyes and mumbled something I didn't understand. “What?”

“Not exhausted. Just so terribly tired.”, he repeated.

An assumption shot through my mind. “When did you start feeling tired?”

“Is this an interrogation, Honey?”, he asked and smiled weakly.

“Come on, stop joking and just answer my question.”

He considered. “I started feeling tired right after my solo singing performance.”

“Did something unusual happen?”

“No, I don't remember something unusual.” He paused. “Honey, I'm tired. Let me sleep, please.”

“Just hold on a little more, Jay. Okay, uhm, did Jihoon do anything?”

“Jihoon? What do you mean?”

“During all you your encounters with Jihoon today, did something unusual happen?”

He chuckled. “This does feel like an interrogation, you know.”

“Jay.”, I just said, reminding him to focus.

He sobered. “Okay, sorry. Well...I didn't get to talk to him that much today. Only right before our second solo and....ah, yeah, when he was 'defending' you against me after your second solo.”

“Before the second solo....you mean when you guys were standing in front of the dressing room, drinking water, when I joined you?”

“Yeah.”

Then it finally dawned on me. “The water....where did you get the bottle of water from?”

“From Jihoon.”

Bingo.

“Okay, thanks a lot, Jay-Jay.”, I said and kissed his forehead.

“You're welcome, beautiful.”, he said and smiled, his eyes still closed. “Can I sleep now?”

“Yes.”, I said and stood up. He fell asleep immediately, judging by his snores. I approached a staff member and asked him to take care of Jay. I told him that Jay was tired and that he needed help to get to the dressing room. Then I headed for the stage and stopped at the side entrance, waiting for the jerk. When he finally came to the entrance, he smiled after seeing me standing there, glaring at him.

“Well, if this isn't my favorite rival.”, he said. “I have to admit, you did a good job. I didn't expect you to have the guts to do it.”

“I'm not a coward when it comes to protecting those I love.”, I said and scowled.

“Yeah, an admirable trait, indeed.” He paused. “Well, then, what can I do for you?”

“What did you do to Jay?”

He arched an eye brow. "Pardon?”

“I know you mixed something into his water to make him tired. My guess is on sleeping pills.”

“Oh my, you have been watching way too many detective shows, dear.”, he said and smirked.

“I wouldn't put it past you to do something like that. I know exactly what you think about fairness.”, I said and crossed my arms. “First you blackmail me and then you poison Jay? How far are you intending to go?”

He smiled. "As long as I'm the winner in the end, I don't care how I get there.”

“Do you have such low self-confidence?”, I asked. His smile vanished. “Are you so unsure about your own skills that you have to cheat to achieve your goal? I truly pity you.”

He shot me a glare. I must've struck a nerve. Huh. “Don't you dare look down on me. I'm the winner and you're just a sore loser.”

“We'll never know who's the true winner. We'll never know because you cheated yourself to the top. The only loser here is you.”

“Think what you want, because in the end, I'm the one who's being celebrated as the winner by everyone.”

“You told me that I was doomed to fail if I kept playing fair. Let me tell you, the only one who's doomed to fail is you because someday, you'll be busted and then you'll fall.”

“We'll see who'll fall first.” He smiled brightly. “But I like your fighting spirit. Like I said earlier, under other circumstances, I'm sure we could have been good friends.”

“I doubt that.”, I noted dryly.

He shrugged. "Whatever. I'm gonna go now. People are waiting to get an interview with me.”

I didn't waste an answer on him. I just turned around and walked away.

While heading back to the dressing room, I was lost in thoughts. Jihoon didn't say it but he did admit to having put something into Jay's water.....well, indirectly. But there was no way I could prove it. I was pretty sure that Jihoon already disposed of the bottle. Ah, my head hurt.

When I arrived at the dressing room, I found Jay lying on the couch, snoring quietly. I sat down next to him, gently his hair.

Poor Jay. We both have been working so hard for this competition. I knew that he has been pullling allnighters to practice. And yet, in the end, we were defeated by dirty tricks of a sneaky bastard.

After what felt like an eternity, he finally stirred.

“Wakey, wakey, little princess.”, I said when he rubbed his eyes and yawned.

“Uh, what?” Then he sat up abruptly. “Huh? What happened? Why am I lying on this couch?”

“You fell asleep after the battle.”

“Oh, right. I lost.”

“You did your best, Jay. Don't feel bad about it.”, I said and smiled ruefully.

He frowned. “But what I don't get is why I was feeling so tired all of a sudden. I mean, exhaustion I would understand, but tiredness? Normally, during a battle, the body pumped full with adrenaline, there's no way I would feel so sleepy.”

If only you knew, Jay.

“Did you sleep at all yesterday?”, I asked.

“Yes, I got more than enough....oh,wait.” He paused. “Yeah, well, let's say I got enough sleep. So it couldn't be the cause for this.” Then he sighed. “It's just that it's so frustrating! I have been practicing so much and then I fail because of tiredness. Tiredness! Even a beginner doesn't fail like this!”

It broke my heart to see him like this. And it made me feel even more guilty to know the reason for his defeat but not being able to tell him because I was trying to protect my Sunbaes. It felt like I chose them over him. What I basically did, but it wasn't so simple. Yoseob's and Wooyoung's career were at their heights. To expose what Jihoon knew about us would destroy everything they have been working hard for these past years. Jay may have lost this one competition but there would be many more. He was just at the beginning. Losing this battle wouldn't destroy his career. It was frustrating, yes, but he would get over it. I knew it because I knew him. Jay was a prodigy. It was out of question that he would debut very soon.

“Don't let this one defeat pull you down, Jay.”, I said and took his hand. “The next one, you'll win for sure! Aren't you YG's prodigy, after all?”

“It's still bugging me but you're right. This time, Jihoon got lucky. Next time, I won't leave any space for luck. It will be all about talent and determination!” He smiled. “I'm counting on competing against you and Trishie-girl again, Honey.”

Ah, there he was. Our good ol' loud-mouth Jay-Jay.

He grinned. “Say, there's something I'm curious about.”

“And what would that be?”, I asked and arched an eye brow.

“We both are alone in this small room. We both are on a couch. And I was sleeping.”He paused. “Honey, did you, by chance, me while I was sleeping?”

“I...WHAT?”

He laughed. “Not that I'm complaining though! I just wish I could have been awake while you were....OUCH!”

My punch against his shoulder shut him off. “I see. Seems like you're okay now. I think I can go.”

“Aww, leaving so soon? You know, we could continue where you left off earlier while I was sleeping.”, he suggested while giving me a seductive grin.

“Not even in your dreams, Jay-Jay.”, I said and laughed. While he pouted, I stood up and left the room, still laughing.

Our drive back to Seoul was scheduled for tonight, so I still had a two hours to kill. But unlike the others, I didn't feel like socializing and celebrating. So in the end, I decided to spend the remaining time in my room.

What I didn't expect was to have company.

“Oh, hey Trish.”, I said when I saw her sitting on the big window sill, staring out of the window.

“Hey, Ha Ni.”, she answered, not breaking her gaze from the view.

I pulled a chair next to her and sat down. “I was with Jay a couple minutes ago. He's okay.”

She still didn't look at me. "So he took his defeat well?”

“Yeah, well, kinda.”

“Jihoon's a nice guy. And he's talented. No matter how much I like Jay, Jihoon also deserves to win.”

If only she knew.

“Yeah, I know.” Ah, I needed to change the topic. “So, talking about Jay....didn't you want to tell me something?”

She sighed. “Can't we let this go, Ha Ni?”

“Considering the fact that you guys keep forcing me to choose sides...uhm, let me think.....no.”

“I slept with him.”

I needed a moment to register what she just said. “You mean 'slept' as in he held you in his arms while you guys fell asleep or....”

“The latter.”

“Wow. And do you avoid him now because it was bad or....”

Ah, this was so awkward.

She blushed. "No, it wasn't! Quite the contrary, it was -”

“Uh, please, I don't really need the details, Trish.” I paused. “Just tell me the reason why you're avoiding him.”

“I cried, you know.”

“Yeah, I know. I heard you. I wasn't asleep.”

She let out a frustrated sigh. “Ha Ni, I was crying right after.....we were done.”

“Oh, Trish.” I stood up and hugged her. “But why?”

“Because I felt guilty. Ha Ni, when I went to tell him that you were okay and....I don't know how this happened but one thing led to another and we ended up kissing and then....yeah, well, you know the rest. When we were...uh, done...he wanted to cuddle with me but....” She sobbed. “But I hated myself at that moment.”

“Do you regret it?”

“When I went to him, my emotional state was chaotic. All the news about you, Yoseob Sunbae and Wooyoung Sunbae, who I'm still admiring so much.....I don't think I was thinking straight when I slept with him, Ha Ni.”

“So you think you only did it because you were feeling down and you needed someone to comfort you?”

She frowned. “Well, yeah.”

“Trish, I know how you really feel about Jay.”

“Oh, yeah? And how do I feel about him, Miss Marple?”, she asked dryly.

“Do you think I didn't see the way you were looking at him when he was flirting with other girls? When he was dancing with Bomi? Don't tell me that Jay's just a friend to you.”

“He is just a friend.”

“You guys are just friends right now. But you want more, admit it.”

“Don't tell me what I feel and think.”

“Didn't you do the same last night? Thanks to you, I finally realized what I feel for Yoseob Sunbae and now I want to do the same for you.”

“Ha Ni, you are imagining things. I don't have feelings for Jay. And he definitely doesn't have feelings for me. We both know what a casanova he is.”

I smiled.”So that's what this is about. You are scared of being rejected.”

“I'm not you.”

“Hey, when did I -”

“I think we're way past this fact, Ha Ni. Jay is not Yoseob Sunbae. It's not the same.”

I crossed my arms. "By denying this, you'll only make yourself unhappy.”

“I don't need your advice. We both know that you're not really an expert when it comes to love.”, she muttered.

Ouch.

She must've noticed the hurt expression on my face because she quickly said: “I'm sorry, Ha Ni, I didn't mean -”

“No, I get it. You're right.”, I said and stood up. “I was stupid to think that, as a friend, I would be allowed to help you. Silly me.”

“Ha Ni, I'm sorry, I -”

“I'm going to mingle with the people before we leave this place. See you later, Trish.”, I said and walked out of the room.

This was so not my day. First I have been blackmailed by an idiot causing me to purposely lose a competition I have been working hard for, then I have to watch one of my best friends losing the final round because of dirty tricks while being forced to keep my mouth shut about the culprit and last, but not least, I had to let another best friend insult me with the truth. Yes, it was true that I at love but I didn't want to hear this from my best friend. Not when I was trying to help her.

So, now even though I didn't intend to celebrate with the others, I also didn't want to be in the same room with Trish while she was moping. Mingling with people seems to be the lesser evil at that moment.

I was heading for the dining room because I knew that they were all gathered there. This time, it wasn't a party like last night. Today it was just a normal dinner, without loud music and all that other stuff. And I didn't mind because after yesterday night, and especially after today, I was so not in the mood for a party.

When I arrived, I immediately spotted Jay sitting with the other trainees. Without hesiatation, I headed straight for him.

He smiled when he saw me. “Honey! Your beauty lights up this whole room! Come on, sit down next to me.”

“Only if you stop talking nonsense, Jay-Jay.”, I said and rolled my eyes.

He put an arm around my shoulders. “Just telling the truth. Where have you been? I have been looking for you.”

“I was with Trish.”

His bright smile faltered a bit. “Oh. And how is she?”

“Just tired.”, I said while trying to tell him with my eyes that I knew everything.

He must have gotten it because he said: “Okay, let's talk about this later.” Then he turned to the others. “So, now who's hungry? I'm starving!”

“I could eat 10 burgers right now.”, Megan said.

“Only 10? I could eat 20 burgers plus fries right now.”, Jay retorted.

“Yeah, but she's a girl and you're a guy. It's natural that guys can eat more.”, Yumi added.

“That's not necessarily true. There are girls who can eat more than guys. It depends on the person and not on the gender.”, Mei said.

Yumi rolled her eyes. “Oh gosh, you're such a smart-, Mei!”

“Why? What's wrong with knowing things? I was just correcting wrong facts, that's all.”

“Oh, whatever.”

“Do you guys always have to argue with each other?”, Bomi asked. “Stop behaving like children, jeez.”

“I don't remember asking for your opinion, Barbie.”, Yumi said.

“I don't care. You guys are getting on my nerves. And you're not alone at this table. We all don't want to listen to your pointless banter.”

“If you don't want to listen, why don't you go to another table?”

“Because I have been here first? If anyone's going, it's you.”

I had enough.

“Okay, stop!”, I exclaimed. Everyone at the table fell silent. “Can we stop this, please? Is it that hard to have dinner without arguing with each other?”

“And why don't you keep snuggling with your boyfriend and keep out of our conversation?”, Bomi retorted.

“My what?”

Her gaze went to Jay who was sitting next to me. And who still had an arm around my shoulders. I quickly shrugged off his arm.

“He's not my boyfriend.”, I said.

“But I totally wouldn't mind being your boyfriend.”, Jay added and grinned.

I gave him a punch in response. “You wouldn't mind being the boyfriend of every female person, you casanova.”

He pouted. “Aaw, Honey, that's not true.”

“Then what would you say if, let's say, Mei asks you to be her boyfriend?”

“Hey, leave me out of this!”, Mei exclaimed.

We ignored her. “Well....I wouldn't say no...you know, smart girls are y.”, Jay said and grinned, causing Mei to blush.

“And what about Megan?”, I asked.

“I love girls who aren't afraid to eat a lot. So, yes!”

Now it was Megan's turn to blush.

“And Yumi?”

“A quick-witted girl, I like! So, yeah, once again yes.”

Yumi was purposely looking away, but I could see the blush on her cheeks.

“And Bomi?”

“I would be stupid to say no.”, he said while his grin grew wider.

Bomi gave us an arrogant smile.

“And Trish?”

Okay, that one was a low blow. But I was so curious.

His smile faltered again. “I don't think she would ask me to be her boyfriend, hypothetically or not.”

Seems like I hit the bull's eye. Judging by the sad look in his eyes, I knew that he had feelings for Trish. Ah, why did they have to be so stubborn?

“See? I have proven my point.”, I said.

“What point?”, someone behind me asked.

I froze when I recognized his voice.

“Oh, Jihoon! Hey buddy, come on, join us!”, Jay said when he saw him.

Unfortunately, the only free chair was the one next to me.

“So, how does it feel to be number 1?”, Mei asked.

“Great, to be honest.”, Jihoon said.

“Next time I'm gonna beat you, buddy.”, Jay exclaimed.

Jihoon chuckled. “Sure, I'm always up for a battle with prodigies.”

“Don't forget us, guys, we all want another chance to beat you.”, Megan said.

And the conversation went on. After a while, Jihoon leaned into me and whispered: “Having a great time?”

“Yeah, I did. Right before you appreared.”

“Oh, nice, the cat's got claws. I like.”

“Please keep your distance from me, you sick bastard.”

“Aaw, don't be so mean, I just want to talk to you. Like friends.”

“We aren't friends.”

“But we could be.”

“Yeah, but I don't want to.”

“You will want to, Ha Ni. It's just a matter of time.”

“You make me sick, you know that?”

“Stop flattering me, dear.”

Disgusted, I leaned into Jay to get away from Jihoon.

“What's the matter, Honey?”, Jay asked.

“I'm freezing.", I said and pretended to rub my arms. "I think it's because of the open window behind me. Can we change seats, please?”

“I could offer you my jacket.”

“No, it's okay. Let's just change seats, please.”

“Okay, as my lady commands.”, he said and grinned.

I just rolled my eyes and changed seats with him, causing Jihoon to chuckle.

“I think the lady can't handle sitting next to me.”, he said.

“She's just shy.”, Jay chuckled and put an arm around me. Again. And I shrugged it off. Again. Bomi regarded me with a glare. Ignoring her, I took a sip from Jay's Coke.

“So, what's going on between you and Seungho Sunbae, Ha Ni?”, Yumi asked all of a sudden, causing me to choke on the drink.

“What?”, I asked, still coughing.

“You know, you guys keep whispering to each other. I even saw you walking outside with him.”

“And he keeps looking at you fondly. I saw it!”, Mei exclaimed.

I blushed. “There is nothing going on between us, jeez.”

“Uh huh, you hurt me, Honey. And here I thought I was your special guy friend.”, Jay pouted.

“Oh, stop it, will you? There's really nothing going on between us. We're just close, okay?”

“Define 'close'.”, Megan said.

“He's like a big brother.”

The girls groaned.

“Gosh, how boring is that? I was hoping for juicy gossip material!”, Yumi said.

“Sorry to disappoint you guys.”, I said and shrugged. Then I glanced at my watch. “Oh snap, I have to go soon.” I turned to Jay. “Hey, can we talk for a moment, please?” When everyone turned their attention on us, I added: “In private.”

“Yeah, sure. Let's go.”, Jay said and stood up.

When we walked out of the room, I could hear Bomi saying “I bet they're going to find a private place to make out.”

Huh. Jealousy's a .

We found a vacate space in the lobby. After sitting down on the couch, I immediately said: “Trish told me what happened.”

“Yeah, I figured as much.”, he said and sighed.

“So, I know Trish' side of the story. What about yours?”

He arched an eye brow. “What? You want to know the details?”

“Ugh, no, please not. I mean, I want to know what she means to you." I paused. " Is she just one of many?”

“And this is your business because......?”

“Because you two are my best friends. Things have become very akward ever since...well, you know.”

“You mean, ever since I slept with Trish?” When he saw my grimace, he chuckled. “Oh my, I never took you for a prude, Honey. Don't tell me you're a vir -”

“We're so not going there with this conversation.”, I said. “It's just awkward, okay?”

“Why do you want to know what she means to me?”, he asked.

“Because I don't want her to get hurt.”

He frowned. “Huh. And you don't care if I get hurt? Well, thanks, Ha Ni. Good to know how much you care for me.”

I groaned. “Jay, please, don't make this difficult. You got this wrong. Of course I care for you. It's just that....uh...if she's just a fling for you....then...uhm...Ah, jeez, I don't know how to do this!”

“You think that I just 'used' Trish to satisfy my needs? And that she feels more for me than I know? Is that what you're trying to say?”

“Uh...yeah.”

“Well, then let me inform you that it's the other way round, Ha Ni. Because She's been using me and I am the one getting hurt.”

My eyes widened. “Wait...what?”

“She cried, Ha Ni. She friggin' cried after that, telling me that she was sorry. And then she even dared to say that I should forget what happened.” He clenched his fists. “You want to know what she means to me? She means everything to me.You can't imagine how happy I was when she came to me that night. And then she shattered everything with her words.”

It finally dawned on me. “Oh my gosh, you love her.”

“Yeah, silly me. One-sided love .”

Okay...Trish didn't really say that she loved him but everyone could tell that she did. And now here he was, telling me that he also loved her. Oh my gosh, this was perfect!

“Jay, I want you to go to Trish and tell her exactly what you just told me.”

“Why, so she has something to laugh about?”, he asked dryly.

“No, trust me, Jay. Just do it. ”Before he could answer, I stood up. “Gotta go now. Follow my advice, Jay-Jay. You won't regret it.”

Then I rushed towards the entrance. And was stopped by Jihoon. Oh great, just what I needed.

“Why, don't tell me you wanted to go without giving me a goodbye kiss?”, he asked.

“How about a goodbye punch?”

“Ah, you're always so entertaining, dear. I'll miss you.”

“That feeling's not mutual, I can assure you.”

“Maybe I should sit down with Seungho Sunbae and have a little chat. Maybe about you? Especially when I just found out that you guys are so close.”

I gave him a glare. “Leave him out of this. You've done enough damage already.”

“I'm just looking out for myself, Ha Ni.”, he said and sighed.

Infuriated, I stabbed a finger at his chest. “You are being selfish, that's what you are doing.”

“If you want skinship, you just need to tell me, dear. No need to stab your finger at me.”

“I would rather walk on burning coal.” I put my hands on my hips. “And now, would you please step aside? The car's waiting for me.”

“Of course.”, he said and stepped aside. Just when I was about to walk past him, he grabbed my arm, stopping me.

“But make sure to remember that I know some things about you and some certain people. So treat me nicely and I'll keep my mouth shut.”, he whispered into my ear.

I froze. “But we had a deal!”

“Let's say I've changed my mind. It's much more fun this way.”

“You bastard.”

“Let's be friends, Ha Ni. Then nothing bad will happen.”

I pulled my arm out of his grab and took a step away from him. “I need to go.”

“Of course. But don't worry, we'll stay in touch.”

I quickly left the house without looking back. When I reached the car, the driver was already loading my luggage into the trunk. I let out a frustrated sigh and stepped onto the car. When I saw the person in front of me, I froze. Ah, crap. I totally forgot that I came to this vacation house with Wooyoung and his manager. Only this time, Yunhee wouldn't be joining us.

I took the window sat next to him. It was the only free one after all. He didn't even acknowledge me. Nope, he just kept staring out of the window on his side. Not knowing how to cope with this awkward situation, I did the same.

Without having something to distract myself with, I got lost in thoughts. And they were all spinning around Jihoon's indirect threat. 'But make sure to remember that I know some things about you and some certain people. So treat me nicely and I'll keep my mouth shut.' Yes, I knew exactly what he was telling me: 'Be my nice slave and I'll keep quiet.' That little bastard already forced me to fail my performance on purpose, what else did he want? I was just a trainee, there was nothing I could offer. Oh wait.....he knew that I was close with some certain idols....so did this mean that he wanted to use those 'connections' in his advantage? I already endangered their careers, I really didn't need this right now. Sometimes I really hated my life. Deception, betrayal, rejection, guilt......ah, it was frustrating! Aside from this, now I had to find a way to shut up that bastard Jihoon without subjecting myself to him. But how? I couldn't tell anyone without telling them the whole story. And it was not like I had any proof. Jeez, what a mess. If it wasn't for him, I would have had a chance to get to the finals. And Jay would have had a chance to win. All these months, all the hard work.....it was for nothing.

I didn't even notice that I was crying until some drops fell on my hand. I quickly wiped them away but they wouldn't stop falling. Suddenly I felt something warm touching my other hand. Startled, I looked down.....and froze. Right there, on top of mine, was Wooyoung's hand. When I looked up, I saw that he was still staring out of the window. But his warm hand was unmistakingly on mine, as if he meant to comfort me. Hesitantly, I turned my hand around and interwined our fingers. He didn't pull back. Grateful for this kind gesture, I turned back to the window and let the tears fall, silently crying away the pain and frustration, while taking comfort in his warm hand.

*************************************

A/N:

Hello ~

Please comment to let me know what you think about this chapter!

Enjoy!