FROM: Seungho Oppa

Ha Ni-ah, stay calm. You have nothing to be nervous about.

I believe in you. And you should, too.

Good luck.

FROM: Kyung Mi

You'll blow the other contestants away with your skills!

Go and rock the auditions, girl! >:)

FROM: Dad

Good luck, little nightingale!

Go and show them your potential!

Love you, dear.

FROM: Wooyoung Oppa

Ha Ni-ah, fighting :)

You'll impress the judges and woo them with your skills!

FROM: Yoseob-ssi

Good luck, Ha Ni-ssi.

Believe in yourself, never forget that.

I was really grateful for all the text messages. They gave me the courage to step into the building. But everyone could only help me so far. Now it was up to me. After gathering my courage and strength, I was finally ready.

Auditions, here we come!

"This is your number. Please take a seat in the waiting hall until your number is called through the loud speakers.", the man announced.

I nodded and went to the waiting hall. Wow. There were so many contestants! And they were all practicing on their own, so I was able to get a glimpse at their skills. Everyone was so talented, I was slowly getting nervous.

No! Ha Ni, you have to be confident! Believe in yourself! Believe in yourself! Believe in yourself!

I tried to ignore the others while sitting down on a chair in the far corner of the hall. But it wasn't that easy to ignore them, especially when you're bored and everyone is singing loudly or dancing in front of you. So I gave up and just continued to watch them.

"It's really a shame that everyone is allowed to participate. That's like a free ticket for losers...like you, for example."

I was startled by the voice and looked up. Right next to me were two girls. They were both really stunning. No, I wasn't exaggerating, they really looked like dolls with their perfect nose, double eye-lids, pouty lips and slim figure. I noticed that one girl was smiling. But it wasn't a nice smile. No, it was an evil smile.

It took me a moment to realize that she was talking to me. "Pardon?", I asked.

"You heard me. I don't understand why losers like you think that they even have a chance.", the girl said.

"Excuse me, but may I ask you why you're being rude? I don't even know you."

"I don't need to know you. I just need to look at you to know that you're a loser. You should just go home and spare yourself the embarrassment."

I stood up. This girl was getting on my nerves. "What did you just say?"

"Why do I have to keep repeating myself? You're so deaf, you aren't even able to hit a note while singing, right?"

"You -"

"Well, judging by your looks, I would say that your skills are just as fake as your nose, am I right?", someone next to me intervened. "Stop mobbing the contestants, Hyomin. Or do you have to do this to push up your low self-esteem?"

The mean girl, Hyomin apparently, frowned. "I see, you're looking for new loser friends. I'm not surprised though. Only losers would hang out with losers. Pitiful.", she said and left. While walking away with her little sidekick, she shoved several girls away. 

A bully, obviously.

"Don't let her get to you. It's just the way she is.", the person next to me said.

I turned to her. "Thank you for helping me."

She smiled. "Don't mention it. The enemies of my enemies are my friends. Nice to meet you, I'm Park Minah."

"I'm Jung Ha Ni, nice to meet you, too.", I said and smiled back.

"How old are you?"

"I'm 20."

"Omo, me too! Then we're friends! That's pretty cool!"

I laughed. "Yeah, I guess."

"What's your number?"

I looked at my tag. "89."

"Mine's 87, so we'll probably be going in together. Gosh, I'm so nervous!"

"Me too, but I try to ignore it."

"Well, it's hard to ignore my shaking hands and the rising excitement and worry."

"I know but I'm still trying...and probably failing.", I said and chuckled.

She laughed. "Exemplary attitude, Ha Ni. Not bad."

We kept on talking, trying the ease our rising nervousness, when the loudspeakers suddenly called out our numbers.

Well, time to get ready.

Minah was right. She was in my group. And someone else was, too.

"No friggin' way! Why is the hag in our group?!", Minah whispered.

"I have no idea."

"Great. I'm nervous enough, I really don't have the nerves to deal with this hag right now."

"Let's just ignore her, Minah.", I said.

"Well, what do my eyes see right in front of me?", Hyomin asked when she approached us. "The Loser Duo? You both will fail, definitely. Can't wait to see you embarrass yourself."

"I think that there's a higher possibility that you will embarrass yourself, barbie. Make sure that your nose doesn't fall off while singing.", Minah said.

Hyomin glared at Minah. Then she turned around and walked to her position.

"1:0 for you, I guess.", I said and grinned.

Minah chuckled. "Her brain is too empty too argue with me. Well, let's get ready. It's time to shine, Ha Ni!"

"Yeah, fighting!"

"Please take your positions. Each one of you will separately sing and dance. We will begin with Yoon Soomi-ssi.", one of the judges announced.

Hyomin's little sidekick told the judges what she wanted to sing and then she got ready. Her singing was okay, but I didn't get goosebumps while listening to her.

But hey, who am I to judge others?

She then started dancing. That was when I was blown away. Her dancing skills were awesome! She moved so flawlessly and passionate, I just couldn't stop staring at her. And it's seemed like the judges thought the same because some of them were nodding and writing something down on their papers.

Okay, I was getting more nervous.

The next one was Hyomin. Let's see how good she was.

"Don't worry, her friend may be a good dancer, but I'm pretty sure that she isn't a threat to us.", Minah whispered.

Hyomin started singing before I could answer. Minah's stunned face resembled mine. Hyomin wasn't just good, she was amazing! I glanced at the judges and they were nodding again. One of them was even smiling slightly.

Oh great, my chances were slowly getting smaller. And my heart pounded against my chest, my nervousness was really about to suffocate me.

"Seems like I was wrong.", Minah whispered.

"Obviously."

Then Hyomin started dancing. She wasn't as good as Soomi, but her skills were still great.

"Thank you, Lee Hyomin-ssi. Park Minah-ssi, it's your turn now.", one of the judges said.

Minah immediately straightened up. "Yes!"

I quickly glanced at Hyomin. She gave me one of her evil smiles. Minah told the judges what she wanted to sing and then she began. I really like Minah's voice. It was kind of soothing. I could also see that she was really nervous, because her hands kept shaking while singing. After that she started dancing. And once again I was stunned.

How could she possibly worry? Her dancing skills were breath-taking, way better than Soomi's. Great. I was in a group with totally talented people.

"Thank you, Park Minah-ssi. Jung Ha Ni-ss, it's your turn now."

I startled when the judge called out my name. I was on the verge of panicking.  How could I beat those three talented girls before me? I would only embarrass myself. Maybe I should quickly leave now.

Believe in yourself.

That was what Seungho and Yoseob were telling me every time.

I quickly pulled myself together. "Yes. I'm ready."

"What are you going to sing?", one of the judges asked me.

"Kim Bum Soo-ssi"s 'Miss You'."

"You may begin."

And then I started singing. I tried to block everyone out. I wasn't standing in front of judges right now. No, I was standing next to my Mum in the kitchen and we both were singing together, while my Dad was sitting next to us, smiling at my Mum and me.

Only when I finished singing, did I noticed the tear which was slowly trailing down my cheek. I didn't dare to look at the judges, that was why I glanced at Minah and the other girls. Hyomin and Soomi were looking at me with stunned faces but when they noticed me looking at them, they quickly turned away. Minah was smiling brightly at me. She gave me a thumbs-up. Before I could return the smile, of the judges said: "Please get ready to show us your dance performance."

"Yes.", I said and got ready. When the music started playing, I once again blocked them out of my mind. I imagined myself in the practice room, dancing in front of the mirrors while Seungho was watching me.

"Let the music lead you. While dancing, you shouldn't be thinking. Express yourself with your body. This is what dancing is all about.", he would say.

I followed his advice. I stopped thinking about my nervousness and just let the music lead me. When the music stopped, I was standing there, out of breath, but happy. Whatever would happen, I did my best. I had no regrets.

"Thank you, Jung Ha Ni-ssi.", one of the judges said.

Now it was the last girl's turn. I was still too hyper from my performance to concentrate on watching the last contestant.

"Wow! Why didn't you tell me that you're such an awesome singer and dancer?", Minah whispered.

"Because I'm not."

She arched an eye brow. "Oh, please. You totally owned the stage."

I noticed that one of the judges was arching an eye brow at us, that was why I told Minah to speak later on.

"Thank you for coming today. We will consult about today's performances and then, when you're one of those who've passed the first round, we will notify you through the loudspeakers.", the judges announced.

We all left after that. Everyone went back to the waiting hall. We were the last group, so the only thing we all could do was to wait for the announcement.

"Ha Ni, now tell me, why the heck didn't you tell me that you're such an awesome singer and dancer?", Minah asked.

"Like I sad earlier, because I'm not."

"Hello? You totally owned the stage! Especially during your singing performance! The judges were really impressed! But hey, what I'm curious about is...was the tear part of your performance?"

"No. I was thinking about my Mum when I was singing."

"Hm? But why would you...oh."

"She passed away."

"I'm sorry, Ha Ni."

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I was just getting carried away while singing."

"You know, that's why you're an awesome singer, Ha Ni."

"What do you mean?"

"Singers express their feelings through singing. The song they're singing tells their story. The song you were singing expresses your longing for your mother."

"Wow, You should be a psychologist, Minah.", I said and chuckled.

"It's my second career choice.", she said and laughed.

Our conversation was suddenly interrupted by screams. 

Huh? Why were the people suddenly screaming?

Minah was as clueless as me. "What happened? Let's check it out, Ha Ni."

I nodded and we went to the front of the of the hall. Everyone was gathered at the entrance, screaming and some were even crying.

What the heck?

Minah fought her way to the front and I followed her. When we arrived at the front, I could see many security guards gathering in front the door to the waiting hall, trying to hold back the screaming girls. I tried to peek around the guards. That was when I finally saw the reason for this ruckus. The BEAST members where entering the building. They waved and smiled at everyone. Some of them were even giving the girls a high five.

"Wow! It's BEAST! Gosh, so awesome! I really didn't expect to see them today!", Minah said beside me.

Me neither.

The boys stopped in front of everyone and a Cube employee gave them mics. "Soo....BEAST! Annyeonghaseyo!", they said. 

The crowd cheered. 

"We just came to wish you all luck for today's auditions! Don't be sad if you didn't make it, there's always another chance for you.", Doojoon said.

"Even though we didn't see your performances, we all know that everyone did a great job, that's why we have a little present for you all.", Yoseob said.

The whole crowd cheered again. Then the boys started singing the second part of their song 'Fiction'...acapella, of course. The crowd was chanting along. I just couldn't stop looking at Yoseob. I haven't seen him for a while now. He still looked the same as before, just a little bit more tired. Their schedule must've been really full. Poor guys. I really wished that they could rest for a while.

Minah was waving like crazy at the guys. It somehow caught their attention and they looked in our direction while singing. I tried to look away...but I failed. Kikwang and Dongwoon seemed to notice me because they smiled and winked. Yoseob was looking at us, too, but he just glanced at us and then looked away. I frowned. Well, I shouldn't expect too much. Right now, I was just one of the contestants. Maybe it was really better for me if we all pretended that we didn't know each other.

"Did you just see it? Dongwoon Oppa and Kikwang Oppa were just smiling and winking at me!!"
I smiled. "Lucky girl."

"Now I just need to pass the first round, then I can say that this is a perfect day."

"Don't worry, you definitely passed the first round."

"I really hope that you're right."

The crowd cheered louder when the guys finished singing.

"We hope you liked our present for you!", Kikwang asked.

"YES!!!", the crowd answered.

"Ah, good to know."

"We really want to stay but unfortunately, we have to go now.", Doojoon said.

The crowd voiced their protest.

"Good luck for the rest of the auditions!", Yoseob said.

After that, they separately said goodbye and then they left. Everyone went back to the waiting hall.

"Oh my gosh! I'm so excited!! I finally got to see Beast in person! And my Kiki Oppa was smiling and winking at me! My heart's still pounding against my chest!", Minah said after we sat down again.

I chuckled. "Don't you dare pass out right now, Minah!"

"I really might!" She chuckled. "But hey, who's your bias?"

"Pardon?"

"Who's your favorite Beast member?"

"Uhm...Yoseob-ssi."

"Ah, I see. So you like the cute style?"

"Well, not exactly. It's his voice....his voice captivated me.", I said and smiled.

"It's really a pity that you didn't get a wink or a smile from him. I was quite sure that he was looking in our direction while singing, at least for a short moment."

"It's okay, I will survive, even without a wink or a smile from him.", I said and laughed.

Minah wanted to say something else but she got interrupted by the loudspeakers.

"Attention, please. Now we wil announce the contestants who've passed the first round."

Everyone was holding their breaths.

"Kang Eunjung."

A girl next to us jumped up and hugged her friend.

"Lee Yoona."

The girl started sobbing.

"Yoon Soomi."

Soomi cheered.

"Lee Hyomin."

I glanced at Hyomin. She was looking at me...and she gave me an evil smile.

"Oh, great. The hag and her sidekick passed the first round.", Minah muttered beside me.

"Park Minah."

Minah suddenly squealed and hugged me. "I did it! I did it! I did it!!"

"Congrats, Minah!", I said.

"Now they just have to announce you."

I sighed. "Or I didn't pass."

"Don't say something like that! You were way better than the hag's sidekick, you've definitely passed the first round!"

"Only one more contestant has passed the first round.", the loudspeakers announced.

"Please say Jung Ha Ni. Please say Jung Ha Ni. Please say Jung Ha Ni.", Minah murmured.

I closed my eyes and prayed silently. Please let me pass the first round.

"The last contestant is..."

Come on, say my name.

"...Shin Saeri."

My heart stopped beating for a moment.

I didn't make it. I failed.

I quickly shook my head and tried to pull myself together. I did my best. I had no regrets. There was always another chance.

"How could they?! Why did they let the hag and her sidekick pass and not you? Are they deaf and blind?!", Minah exclaimed angrily.

"Hey, it's okay. She was better than me. I will get another chance."

"No friggin' way! There have to be a mistake!"

"Minah - "

"Everyone who've passed the first round, please gather in room 120 for further instructions.", the loudspeakers announced.

"Minah, you have to go now."

"No! Not until someone explains to me why you didn't pass!"

"Minah, please stop making such a ruckus.", I said.

"Yeah, you should stop or you will embarrass your little loser friend even more.", someone said behind me.

"Oh, just shut up, barbie.", Minah retorted.

"Why? I'm telling the truth. She didn't pass because she's a loser."

"Say that again!", Minah said while clenching her fists.

"Are you deaf? I just said that she didn't -"

"You should go now, Hyomin-ssi.", I intervened. "Shouldn't you be following the other contestants to room 120? I think you should hurry."

"I'm sorry, I don't speak the loser language.", she said and turned around to leave.

"Despiteful hag. This barbie needs a nice punch to her fake face.", Minah said.

"Minah, you should go, too, or they will disqualify you."

"But -"

"I will go home now. Good luck for the next round. You'll definitely beat Hyomin and Soomi.", I interrupted her.

"Ha Ni..."

"Fighting!", I said and quickly turned around to leave. I was on the verge of tearing up and I didn't want to worry Minah. Even though I kept on telling myself that I did my best and that I had no regrets...I just couldn't help but feel disappointed. It felt like a deja-vu of my past. I failed again. Seungho, Yoseob, GO and all the others...they would be so disappointed.

But hey, maybe I just wasn't meant for this path. Being a stylist wasn't so bad, to be honest. No, it wasn't. But it wasn't the same either. I sighed and gathered my stuff. I would have to text everyone to tell them that I didn't make it.

Great.

"Excuse me, are you Jung Ha Ni-ssi?", someone suddenly asked. I looked up and saw a woman with a clipboard in front of me. She looked at my tag and then at her clipboard. "Number 89...you're really Jung ha Ni-ssi. I'm so glad that I found you in the end."

"Excuse me but what are you talking about?", I asked her.

"We're really sorry but we made a mistake while announcing the contestants who've passed the first round...we forgot some names." I just stared at her with widened eyes. "Jung Ha Ni-ssi? Did you hear me? You've passed the first round."

"I...I passed?"

"Yes, we are really sorry for the inconvenience. Please go to room 120 for...omo!"

The Cube employee couldn't finish her sentence because I squealed and hugged her. "Thank you!!! Oh my gosh, thank you so much!!"

She just smiled. "You shouldn't thank me. Your own skills let you pass the first round. Now hurry or they won't let you enter the second round."

"Okay! Thank you again!", I said and rushed to room 120.

"Here you are. Take a seat, the instructions will begin soon.", the employee at the door said.

"Okay, got it, Changmin Oppa." I knew him because he was close with one of the stylists and he often visited us during the breaks.

"Good luck, Ha Ni."

"Thank you, Oppa.", I said and entered the room.

But it was empty.

Huh? Was it the wrong room? No, it couldn't be.

"Annyeonghaseyo."

I turned around to see a man standing in front of me. "A-annyeonghaseyo.", I said.

"Please take a seat. I will give you the instructions for the second round."

I sat down. "But why isn't anybody here? Weren't there other contestants beside me?"

"There are but everyone has his own instructor. They gathered here and left a while ago."

"Oh, I see."

"Now to you, Jung Ha Ni-ssi. For the second round you'll have to learn a song and a dance within 24 hours. Both songs will be chosen by us. For the dance, you have to create your own choreography, without any help of course. We want to test your ability to learn new things within a short period of time and we want to see your creativity. Any questions?"

"No, I don't have any questions.", I said.

"Good. So, here's your song for the vocal test." He gave me a sheet of paper with a CD. "And here's the song for the dance part." He gave me another CD. "The second round of the auditions starts tomorrow, at 5pm. Good luck, Jung Ha Ni-ssi."

"Thank you."

I studied the song and the dance the whole night long, without sleeping. Until now, Seungho has always been helping me when it comes to dancing but now I was on my own. And no GO or Yoseob, who could've helped my with my singing skills. I had to learn to do it on my own, I couldn't always run to them when I needed help. They also had to do everything on their own, I wouldn't be an exception. After practicing for hours, I decided to take a nap around 2pm. My Dad came to my room at 7am, telling me to take a break and to eat something. I declined. He wasn't happy about it but he understood that it was important for me.

Yuri didn't come home this night, just like the other nights before. I called her and asked where she was but she just told me that she met someone and that she was spending the time with him. I wasn't really happy about the fact that she was spending the nights at this certain someone's house after knowing him for only a week but Yuri was old enough to make her own decisions.

After the nap, it was around 4pm, I got ready and ate something. I once again called Yuri but she didn't pick up. Maybe she was on a date with this certain someone.

"You will be called separately to room 100. Everybody who doesn't arrive within 5 minutes will be disqualified. Any questions?", the Cube employee asked.

"No.", everyone called out in unison.

"Good. Well then, may the second round begin. Good luck, everyone!", the employee said and left.

"Ha Ni!!!!"

I turned around to see a very cheery Minah running towards me.

"Hey, Minah.", I said and smiled.

She hugged me and squealed. "Oh my gosh, you are here!! But how?"

"They made a mistake while announcing the contestants who've passed the first round. So, it seems like I've passed the first round after all."

"Awesome!!! I knew it!! You're too good, they had to let you pass!"

"The judges just need some entertainment that's why she passed.", Hyomin interrupted. "Her loser performance was too amusing for them...just like yours by the way." During the last part of the sentence she gave Minah a pointed look.

"Did you understand what she just said, Ha Ni? Too bad we're not speaking hag-ish.", Minah retorted.

I chuckled. Hyomin glared at me and then she turned around and went to the other site of the hall.

"Tsk, you losers will lose.", Soomi said and followed Hyomin.

"Wow, her great vocabulary never fails to amaze me.", Minah said and laughed.

"Yeah, but I don't understand why she's always picking on us."

"Well, when I met her for the first time, she and her little sidekick were picking on another girl. I helped the girl and that's when Hyomin started using me as her new victim. It's just the way she is, always thinking that she's superior than everyone else. Such a hag."

"Oh, I see."

"Park Minah-ssi, please come to room 100.", the loudspeaker announced.

"Omo, omo, omo, it's my turn now!"

"Good luck, Minah. Don't worry, you will pass for sure. Now hurry or you'll be disqualified! Fighting!"

"Fighting", Minah said and rushed away.

I sat down on a chair and tried to calm down. My heart was pounding against my chest, my nervousness grew stronger with every passing minute. Would I forget the lyrics? Would I be off-beat? I couldn't chase away my worries, it was driving me crazy.

After what seemed like an eternity, the loudspeakers finally called out my name. The contestants before me didn't return to the hall. Seemed like they were gathered in another room. I quickly went to room 100.

"Annyeonghaseyo, I'm Number 89, Jung Ha Ni."