It's been a week since I found out that Chanyeol left me. He probably did it because he was sick of me. He doesn't like being near me, or even being in the same country as me. But no matter what Chanyeol did, I still can't help but to worry about him. Is he eating well? Does he have friends there?

"You have a phone call hehe" I heard Chanyeol's voice. Where is he? I turned around to find him, but failed. That's when I realized the sound was coming from my pocket, so I reached in and took my phone out. Right... he changed my ringtone to his voice... 

"Hello?" I said into the phone.

"This is the hospital, you still have a few more papers to sign dealing with Kim Jong In's surgery."

"Ahh.. okay, I'll be right there." I hung up the phone. "I'm going to the hospital!" I shouted to Jieun who was in the bathroom of our room at the moment. The two of us shared a room together.

"Ahh, okay!"

I pulled out my jacket and went outside, waiting for a taxi to come. When it finally came, I stepped inside the back seat and told the driver to go to the hospital.

Distraction. Talking to the driver was distraction. I kept on talking to the taxi driver, asking questions after questions. I didn't want to think about Chanyeol or I might have cried. But I couldn't help it as tears dripped down my face.

"Yeah, so I met my wife when I was twenty--" the driver looked at me through the mirror. "Are you crying?"

"I... I think so." I replied, sobbing into my hands. I wanted to see Chanyeol. His smiling face, his stupid jokes that were cute at the same time. I wanted so much to say 'Yah, Chanyeol!' just once more. I wanted him to hug me when I sad, and to tell me that it's okay to cry. It's ironic how the one that comforted me all the time is now the one that was causing me to cry.

"Don't worry about me..." I said to the driver that had a concerned look on his face. He nodded, and soon we arrived at the hospital.

"Ms. Kim?" the lady in the front asked.

"Ahh.. yes, that's me."

"You're here for the papers to sign for Kim Jong In?" I nodded my head.

"Okay, please wait a moment."

I waited in a chair by the wall as the lady finally handed me papers and a pen. The whole time, I was still thinking about Chanyeol. Chanyeol... Chanyeol... Chanyeol? I was confused when I saw Chanyeol's name on the paper. I read it carefully.

Kim Jongin's eye donor: Park Chanyeol.

My eyes widened, and I couldn't believe what I just read. Park Chanyeol is the eye donor? It makes no sense. Yeah, it has to be a coincidence. But really, inside, I knew it was real.

Unknowingly, tears formed and rolled down my face. It was a lot more than when I cried in the taxi just before. Chanyeol is not in America, he's gone. He's dead. He wanted to see me one last time, but I left him for Kai. I weeped as I remembered what he said.

"Don't go."

"What? I have to! I'm not gonna stay on this foolish date and leave my own brother in the hospital alone!"

I called it a foolish date. I got mad at him for telling me to stay, because I thought he was being selfish. Maybe... maybe he rejected me because he knew he was about to die? 

I cried harder when I remembered seeing the weak smile that Chanyeol gave me before I left him. I could barely breathe, and I was on the floor holding my hand near my heart.

"Miss? Are you okay?" A nurse asked me with a concerned look. I nodded, slowly got up, and just walked. I didn't know where I was walking. I didn't realize what I was about to do.

The cold wind blew against my face as I could see buildings and cars everywhere. I could even see the SM building from there. I was at the roof of the hospital.

"CHANYEOL!" I cried, thinking that he could hear me from heaven. Tears kept falling, even the wind couldn't dry it up. Every time I let out my cries, a shiver was sent down my body. "CHANYEOL!"

I couldn't think. I just acted. Slowly, I walked towards the edge. I didn't need to live if I didn't have Chanyeol. I could bear with it if he was in America, but not if he's not a part of this world anymore. One last time, I screamed his name before there was nothing under my right foot, and I felt my knees bend, about to fall forward. My eyes closed as I waited for the falling sensation, but I all I felt were arms wrapped around my waist. Those same arms dragged me back, away from the edge of the roof.

"What do you think you're doing?! If Jieun didn't tell me where you were, you could have killed yourself!" Suho yelled at me, but not angrily. It was more like he was concerned.

"That's the whole point! I WANT to die!" I screamed back at him, my voice cracking as I tasted the salty tears in my mouth. "You didn't tell me he was dead! You said he was in America!" 

Suho looked at me with sadness in his eyes. Although I felt bad for yelling at him, I couldn't help it; I had to relieve the pain I was feeling somehow.

"Yejin..." Suho pulled me in for a hug. At this point I didn't have any strength to push him away. I just cried into his shoulders, letting him comfort me. "I'm sorry. I know you feel like dying, but you have to hold it in. He's safe now, he is with your parents."

That's when I realized, I was crying more for Chanyeol than when I cried for my parents. I loved Chanyeol more than I thought I did, and I blame him for making me fall too hard. You don't know how much you love someone until they really leave you...