The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight
Maybe it can't stop tomorrow from stealing all my time
I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts
I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out

***

“Still awake?” he asks, walking into the kitchen in his boxers and a white singlet with his hair slightly disheveled – a look that Soojung hadn’t seen in a while. The Sehun that stood in front of the world was always proper, and whilst he was always known from his short responses, sarcastic remarks and unapproachable personality, to Soojung, Sehun was anything but.

“Yeah, you?”

“Just getting something to drink,” he says, “You want anything?” He opens the fridge and glances over the selection.

“I’m covered,” Soojung says raising her glass of orange juice in the air. Sehun looks across at her and notes the half emptied bottle of vodka and her rosy cheeks.

“It’s a bit late for that isn’t it?”

“Since when?” she teases.

Sehun nods his head and accepts defeat, “I’ve grown up,” he says smugly with a playful lilt in his voice.

“Well la-di-da. I get it though, chasing after an older woman so you act older.”

Sehun leans his head back and laughs, “I’ve always been into older women.”

“It’s your mummy complex acting up isn’t it,” Soojung teases and Sehun throws the tea towel at her.

They laugh and Sehun looks at Soojung mischievously and reaches for the vodka in the bar and mixes himself a drink. He raises his glass in the air and they both clink them together before Soojung finishes her drink in one-shot.

“Woah princess, how many have you had already?”

“More than you,” she teases, “You should catch up,” she says whilst pouring him another one.

“That’s fine, I wasn’t looking to get drunk.”

“You used to be fun, Oh Sehun.”

In fact if there was anyone who would put up with her party ways the most it would’ve been Sehun. The party prince, the one you’d call for a good time. Sehun was the one to go to at any time of the day. Most importantly Sehun was never one to judge especially not her drinking habits, which are in fact poor comparative to everyone else.

“Hey, I’m still pretty fun,” he says leaning against the marble bench top, a wicked smirk on his lips as he looked at her, cheeks turning a brighter red, eyes looking like they would close at any moment.

“Oh yeah?” Soojung challenges, “Show me then, show me how fun you can be.”

Sehun snorts and shakes his head, he wasn’t about to prove himself to anyone let alone a drunk Soojung. “I’m fine thanks,” he says but Soojung insists with her eyes and her pout. His smile falters and Sehun breaks out into an awkward shimmy in the kitchen.

Sehun was a dancer, as equally good as Jongin but watching the tall man shake in his boxers was a sight to behold and Soojung couldn’t help but burst out into a fit of laughter. It had been a while since she had laughed so loudly and freely. She reaches for the bottle of vodka across the table to top off her cup but Sehun reaches it before her. “Woah, take it easy there princess,” he teases as he moves the bottle a bit further from her reach.

“Why?” Soojung asks, finishing the drink in her cup, “Nothing’s been easy for me since I came back.”

In his moment of shock Sehun lowers his guard just enough for Soojung to grab the bottle and take a swig from it directly. She scrunches her face in digust as Sehun just watches, mouth slightly agape at the girl sitting in front of him. “How so?”

“Really?” She takes another swig of the vodka and this time Sehun reaches out to stop her. He pulls the bottle away from her but it only riles her up.

“Yes, really, tell me what’s wrong.”

“You wouldn’t understand.”

“Don’t give me that crap, princess,” Sehun rolls his eyes.

“Imagine this if you will, I come back from France, without my mother with a man who’s not my biological father. My best friend doesn’t feel like my best friend anymore and the boy that I love is in love with someone else.” Soojung inches closer across the table top towards Sehun, eyes fixed on him squarely.

“I thought you were over Jongin?”

Quickly she swipes for the bottle of vodka, after all if she was going to go down this path of confessing how she felt, she would need to be absolutely drunk. Except Sehun is faster and he pulls away quickly which causes her to slip, sending her colliding into his chest and arms. The bottle of vodka falls into the sink and smashes into pieces but neither of them are all too bothered.

“Look at all the wasted vodka,” Soojung reaches in for the broken glass, her finger slit by a shard in the sink just before Sehun could pull her away. If it hurts she doesn’t react because Soojung just stares at her finger as Sehun pulls away to reach for a paper towel to wrap around her finger. She pinches his singlet, blood accidentally smearing onto his shirt. “Not Jongin,” Soojung says as she leans in and kisses Sehun in one breath. Sehun holds his breath and tastes the bitter liquor on her lips before he breaks away. He holds onto her, staring at as she hovered inches from his face.

“Soojung,” he whispers, hands still cupping her cheeks. “We can’t…” he says almost as if the weight of the world was on him. Like it was a burden to be loved by her.

“Why did you give up on me?”

Sehun lowers his hands and steps backwards, leaning against the fridge behind him. Soojung was always one to ask the hard hitting questions because Sehun was always one to give her a response. Except he struggles this time.

“What?” he asks.

“I thought you would’ve waited for me to come back from France, but you didn’t. Why did you give up on me?”

“I didn’t give up on you. I’m still here.”

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.”

“What do you want Soojung?”

“So you’re telling me that I was imagining everything? Everything you’ve ever said, every lingering touch, long gaze… I was imagining everything?”

Sehun bites his lip and places down his glass back on the table, “You weren’t imagining it.”

“Then what happened? Why did it change?”

“Princess…”

“Don’t—” Soojung exclaims, “Don’t call me that.”

Sehun lets out a snicker “Do you know why I call you Princess?” he asks, eyes finally looking at Soojung who’s waiting with her arms crossed for her answer – one that he was seemingly deflecting at the moment. “Princesses are too high maintenance and they know nothing about having fun. You’re always too pretty, always too perfect and always too busy to take a break from your social life. You have everything that you could ever ask for, diamond rings don’t impress you, nor do flowers, wines or expensive getaways because if you wanted it you’d already have it. There’s nothing that I could ever do for you. That’s how I convinced myself that’s why you never could love me.”

“Is that why you’re with Joohyun? Because she’s poor and helpless?”

“That’s not true…” Sehun says in a low voice, a soft growl in his voice which causes Soojung’s heart to fall to the pit of her stomach. Still she remains defiant.

“No that’s right, after all she is the daughter to a rich businessman and model.” Soojung looks right into Sehun’s eyes, “If you think that diamond rings and flowers impress me, you know so little about me.”

Sehun’s eyes widen, “Is that so?”

“I didn’t fall for you because you ever bought me flowers, or jewelry or took me out to dinner. You were the boy who chased me all the way to the airport when no one else cared if I was there or not. You were the boy who brought me back.”

“I didn’t bring you back…” Sehun sounds confused.

“My father told me you went to see him, and if it wasn’t for you I’d still be stuck overseas and miserable.”

“I was doing what any good friend would’ve done. Jongin would’ve done it – Suzy would’ve done it for you.”

“But they didn’t! You did, you were the only one.”

“I don’t know what to tell you.”

“You know exactly what I want to hear.”

They’re an arm’s length from each other and yet it felt like they were so much further away. The air around them was thick and heavy as Soojung held her breath, waiting for her answer. He presses his lips into a thin line, “I do, but you also know that I can’t tell you that. Not now. I don’t feel the same way as I used to feel about you anymore, Soojung.” 

She nods her head, fighting back the tears at the sense of hopelessness she felt in that moment. “Goodnight, Sehun.” Soojung hops off the table and walks past him slowly, a cool breeze greets him but Sehun embraces the moment and lets it past.

***

[Tokki]
I wish you could be here with me.

[Gom]
I can be. I am right down the hall.

[Tokki]
Don’t even think about it. Joohyun would kill me if she caught us.

[Gom]
She’d kill us both, but at least we’ll still be together.

[Tokki]
Maybe we should tell people – at least that way we don’t have to be sneaking around like this.

[Gom]
If you’re sure…

[Gom]
Suzy?

“Soojung?” Suzy perks up onto her pillow as she stares at the girl standing at her door with tears in her eyes. Her expression morphs into one of concern as she drops her phone and opens her arms for her. “What happened?” she asks as Soojung makes her way over and collapses into her arms, sobbing into her lap silently. Suzy her hair gently, resting her chin on her head.

Soojung cries whilst Suzy sits in silence, embracing her friend, holding her to stop her from falling apart. Suzy doesn’t ask for answers, she waits until Soojung is ready to tell her.

***

It’s two in the morning and Sehun’s standing on the other side of the door staring at her. He couldn’t sleep, in fact he had been tossing and turning around for the past hour hoping that he would wear himself out enough to just let his bed swallow him whole. “What’s wrong?” she asks nervously as he looks inside her room.

“Can I come in?” he asks and Joohyun nods. Her room was lit by the orange glow from the lamp with the sound from her television running in the background.

“Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I just had a talk with Soojung,” Sehun begins.

“About?”

“How I don’t feel the same way about her anymore.”

Joohyun’s lips purse together as she nods her head understandingly. Sehun takes a seat on the chair by the balcony, the moonlight painting over his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” Joohyun offers.

“What are you sorry about?”

“I think it’s always sad when a relationship changes the way yours did with her. It’s a beautiful feeling to love and be loved.”

“Have you ever been in love?” Sehun asks, eyes finally meeting hers.

“No,” Joohyun says honestly.

“No?” Sehun asks, “Surely not.”

Joohyun laughs, “Why are you surprised?”

“Because someone as beautiful as you surely would’ve had someone love you.”

“Being loved and being in love is completely different, Sehun.” Joohyun swings her body off the edge of the bed and looks directly at him. She smiles at him softly, and Sehun’s heart beats for what feels like the first time in a long time. “I think what I used to think was love was never actually love. It was always infatuation and it’s fine – but it wasn’t love.”

“How did you know the difference?”

“When it came to the end,” she says with a bittersweet smile.

“What was wrong with them?”

“There’s a difference between a man speaks kind words and a man who acts out kindness.”

There’s a silence that fills the space between them, but it’s comfortable and warm, it’s safe and stable and it’s enough to give Sehun the courage to ask her the question that had been keeping him awake for the past few nights. “Do you think you could love me?” There’s a tinge of fear in his voice, one that Joohyun had never heard in all the time that she had known him. The fear of losing.

There’s a moment of contemplation that causes him to hold his breath.

“Yes.”

***

Soojung has a bad dream that night.

It’s them – Sehun, Soojung, Suzy and Jongin all at a party. The sound of music is muffled and conversations to her are a struggle to understand. The room is dark except for the orange glow caused by the candles on her birthday cake. They’re celebrating with her before their faces morph into one of disdain and disgust. One by one they disappear leaving her alone.

Soojung wakes up in a pool of sweat and looks over at Suzy’s arm wrapped comfortably around her waist, head nestled against her arm.

***

It’s dawn when Suzy wakes up, the other half of the bed empty and cold. The morning wind chill draws her attention to the curtains fluttering in the wind. It was only dawn, the clock on the wall read close to six and Suzy wonders how long Soojung had been gone for. She slips out of bed and walks to the balcony to close the door when she notes a familiar figured huddled on the beach in the distance by herself, staring at the horizon.

Soojung had spent the night in her room sobbing till she fell asleep in her arms without uttering another word. Suzy wonders when they became like this, unable to express themselves freely around each other. They used to tell each other all their secrets. Soojung was right – something had changed.

Suzy reaches for the blanket off her bed and drags it down the stairs and out the house and down to the beach. She takes a seat beside her and wraps the blanket over both of their shoulders. Despite everything Soojung isn’t cold towards Suzy, instead she leans up against her. Her body, cold from being outside all morning, touched Suzy’s skin, causing the hairs on her arms to stand up. Suzy wraps her arm around Soojung’s waist and pulls her closer to warm her up.

“Do you remember, when we were thirteen and it was winter and all we really wanted was to go to the beach because we had been stuck indoors all day because it had been raining. We decided it would be a great idea to just play outside in the rain because anything was better than being cooped up inside listening to Yoochun’s stories about what he used to do in the old days. We caught the cold afterwards and eventually were stuck in doors, eating chicken soup and watching Roman Holiday till we were better. It’s always been like that Jung, me and you through thick and thin, highs and lows. I want to help you but I can’t if you won’t tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m scared it’ll change the way you look at me.”

“Nothing you could say could ever change the relationship between us. I mean it.”

Soojung turns her head sideways, to look at Suzy, “I really need a friend right now,” Soojung says, her voice beginning to crack under pressure.

Soojung finds the courage within her to lay it out bare, everything that had been on her mind for the past year came flowing out in a mix of tears and frustration and Suzy purses her lips, trying her best to not cry as Soojung did in front of her. Coming home to an empty house, her father not being her father, Jongin never loving her the way he did Suzy, being stuck in France and Suzy finding her sister.

“I hate her, Suzy,” Soojung says, her top teeth grazing her bottom lip, “She stole you from me, she stole him from me…” Soojung’s voice cracks under the pressure and she tries to catch her breath but it doesn’t work. It makes it worse and she can feel the frustration climbing up in and before she knew it the tears were spilling from her eyes. Suzy pulls her in and braces her tightly, tucking her underneath her chin as she planted a kiss on the crown of her head.

“Hey…hey… it’s ok…” Suzy whispers as she Soojung’s hair. Him? Suzy’s thought trails off and it hits her all at once. Immediately she feels her heart sink to the pit of her stomach as she tries her best to comfort Soojung.

Soojung had loved and lost so much in the past few months. How lonely had she felt? How long had she been feeling this way? All these questions swirled in her mind as she desperately tried to fight her own tears from falling. “I’m sorry,” Suzy musters, “I don’t know what else to say but I’m sorry.”

Suzy kisses the crown of her head ten times over in hopes she’d make it better.

But it’s not that easy.

***

“Hey has anyone seen Suzy and Soojung this morning?” Jongin asks as he reaches for the apple on the table.

“They’re not in their rooms?” Taemin asks, his mouth full of milk and cereal.

“No, I checked Suzy’s room and couldn’t find her.”

“So you checked Soojung’s room next right? Or was it just Suzy?”

“What? Of course I checked Soojung’s room.” Jongin eyed Taemin suspiciously, waiting for him to say more. Taemin always had something to say, especially if it was to Jongin.

“To find Suzy right?”

“What?”

“I was just checking that you still actually cared about Soojung now that you were dating Suzy.”

“Of course I do, why would you even suggest that?” Taemin smiles, mouth filled to the brim with cereal when he realises that Jongin hadn’t denied it.

“Wait how did you know?” Jongin immediately tries to back track.

“I didn’t, I do now.”

“…” Jongin curses under his breath. “Don’t tell anyone – keep your mouth shut.” Jongin’s voice is deep and threatening but it only makes Taemin laugh.

“I’m a singer, that’s how I make my living, I can’t not use my mouth.”

Jongin rolls his eyes, “Suzy and I haven’t told anyone yet so it would be nice if you respect what we’re trying to build.”

“Build?” Taemin laughs, “You two together have collectively built a castle with fences with all the history between you two. What else do you want?”

“That’s different, it’s different…” Jongin tries to argue when he realises that Taemin is finding too much joy in watching him struggle to fend for himself. “What were you saying about Soojung though?”

“You really don’t know?”

“Look I know we dated and it didn’t seem to end well but we worked it out.”

“Did you really?” Taemin’s comments were beginning to wear on Jongin. “Or did you go straight into dating her best friend?” Taemin shrugs his shoulders and stands up to place the bowl into the sink. “Just think about it.” Taemin squeezes Jongin’s shoulder as he walks past thim.

***

“I can’t cut her out of my life, Jung,” Suzy says looking at the ground, “…and as selfish as that sounds I won’t lose you either.”

They were miles from the house now, taking a casual stroll down the beach as the sun began to warm their skins. The water rose to their ankles whilst covering their tracks behind them.

“You won’t,” Soojung reassures her, “You’ll always have me, and you’ll always have your sister. I just can’t be around her, I need you to respect that.”

“Let me find a way.”

“Suzy,” Soojung grabs onto her arm and they stop, “Please, it’s already painful enough I have to see her but seeing her and Sehun together, I’m not ready for it.”

“What do we do then, Jung?”

What were they to do? Everyone was back at the house, Jongin, Sehun and Joohyun and some of their other friends as well. Sending them packing wasn’t an option, but hiding from them wasn’t either.

“I just…I need a break.” She’s pleading with Suzy. She couldn’t face Sehun, at least not after last night and if it wasn’t enough that she could remember him and all of his words burnt into her mind, she had a literal cut to remind her of him. A cut that was still very much sore to touch as her finger tips pressed against Suzy’s arm.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t be dramatic, people will be looking for you.”

“People will be looking for you… after all we’re all here to celebrate you.” Soojung was different, and Suzy saw this now. There’s no spark, no confidence – there’s a wall that Suzy sees and she wonders how long it’s been up for.

Soojung pauses, “You’re righ—” she opens ready to accept defeat when Suzy stops her.

“Stay here,” she says, “Stay here, I’m going to run back to the house to get some stuff for us and we’re just going to go and travel around and have fun.”

“You don’t have to…”

“I know I don’t, I want to, so stay here. I’ll be back.” Suzy’s sprinting like her life depends it and Soojung observes in disbelief as she watches Suzy stumble across the soft sand on her way back to their villa.

***

“Hey, where have you been? Why are you still in your slip dress? Aren’t you freezing?” Jongin races over to her as soon as spots her walking back up from the beach and throws his jacket around her bare shoulders. Suzy acknowledges him briefly as she quickly brushes by, her mind still preoccupied with other thoughts. Jongin takes her silence as anger, after all he’s been friends with her long enough to know when Suzy’s feeling something, she tends to bottle it up.

He follows her closely to her room, trying to keep pace with her. Suzy had brought the beach back with her it would seem as sand scattered everywhere in a trail behind her as she walked. “Suzy,” Jongin calls her for what seems like hundredth time.

“Hmmm, yeah?” she snaps out of her reverie and stares at him. He looks a bit breathless, his round puppy eyes full of worry.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, I’m just back here to grab some stuff, she’s waiting for me.” Suzy continues to move around her room, picking at pieces of clothing and tossing them aside.

“Soojung? Where is she?”

“Just down at the beach, I’m just going to spend some time with her today,” Suzy sounds absent minded, as she slips out of her slip dress and quickly into her sun dress. Jongin tries to avert his eyes as if he’s never seen her before. She shuffles closer to him with her back, gesturing for him to help her with the zipper.

“Where are you two going? I thought we had plans to hang out as a group?” he asks, slowly dragging the zipper up, his breath ghosting over the back of her skin.

“Plans changed, but you guys can do whatever you want whilst we’re gone.” Suzy sounds nonchalant as she continues to gather her items into a bag.

Jongin suddenly has this thought that maybe Suzy’s regretting everything – their relationship. Of course she is – that’s why she didn’t answer him last night. “Hey can we talk about last night?”

“What’s there to talk about?” Suzy asks, flipping up her pillows and pulling her sheets onto the ground. Her eyebrows furrow in frustration as she climbs across the bed from one side to the other in a huff.

“Well I mean we were talking and you went quiet on me, and I sort of feel like I made a mistake last night somehow and I’m not entirely sure what it is—” his sentence is cut short by the pure chaos brewing in Suzy’s room at the moment as she empties her suitcase onto the ground, opens her cupboards and pulls out her draws, leaving them hanging open for someone to walk into. “Suzy, are you ok?” Jongin asks. She’s throwing her sheets and pillows onto the ground, “What are you looking for?”

“My phone, Jongin, my phone…” she sounds a bit frustrated now.

“Where’d you leave it last night?”

“On my bed,” she says, “At least that’s the last place I remember it being.”

Jongin walks over to her bed and helps her lift it up only to find it wedged between the headboard and the mattress. “Here,” he puffs as he lowers the bed and hands it to her. She snatches it out of his hand and checks the battery. Seemingly satisfied she slips it into her bag and Jongin watches in silence as she continues to pace around the room whilst ignoring him. “I guess I’ll leave you alone then.” He digs his hands into his pockets and takes a step outside the door.

Suzy looks up at the empty frame, a wave of guilt washes over her as she chases after him. She calls for him and pulls him back inside, closing the door behind them. “I’m sorry,” she immediately apologises. Her demeanor changes immediately. The lining around her eyes turns red whilst tears filled the rims, threatening to spill. All the while Suzy does her best to sniff back her tears. “I’m sorry,” she says again, “It’s not anything you said, it’s not you, I spoke to Soojung this morning.”

“What’s wrong?” he whispers, thumbing away the stray tear on her cheek.

“I’m a terrible friend, Jongin,” Suzy says, her forced smile faltering as the corner of her lip trembles. “I left her stranded in another country, never asking if she was ok, or if she was lonely or if she needed any help. I ignored her when she needed me this most.”

“She said that? She called you a terrible friend?”

“No she didn’t, but she might as well have.”

“Suzy, stop it, you’re not…”

“But you see Jongin, I am – I’ve been so caught up with my own life and everything I was feeling when she actually needed my help. Not even Soojung alone, how I treated you when I came back, how I treated Sehun – So yeah, Jongin, I’m a pretty bad friend.”

“You couldn’t have known.”

“You don’t get it, Jongin, I should’ve… I should’ve known and that’s the most disappointing thing about all of this. Because I should’ve known that she was so lonely, of course she’d be…”

“Then am I just not as bad?”

“What are you talking about?”

“We’ve known each other all for the same amount of time, me, you, Sehun and Soojung. None of us have any excuse to not know when the other isn’t doing well. Taemin spoke to me before, and I don’t know exactly what’s wrong with her, but it shouldn’t be you fixing this, it should be all of us.”

“It’s different,” Suzy says bitterly as she fights back the tears. Jongin wraps his arm around her and kisses the side of her head, “I’m supposed to know.” She melts into his arms and lets him hold her for a second longer, burying her head into his chest. “I’ve got to go,” she muffles into his shirt, “I can’t keep her waiting anymore.”

“I know,” he says, holding both of her shoulders and he pulls her away, “I’ll think of something ok, we’re going to fix this.”

He kisses her forehead and Suzy feels a little better with him.

***

Soojung finds herself sitting watching the waves as she waited for Suzy, watching as it rose and crashed onto the shores. It was just enough to calm her down. “Yah, Haru!” she hears the familiar voice and turns around to see the giant fluff ball running towards her.

Haru greets her excitedly, the dog nuzzles her head against Soojung’s arm. “Hey girl,” Soojung says as she pets the dog. The golden retriever Soojung’s face and nudges her gently before she settles down in front of her, looking at her with wide puppy eyes, begging for her to play with her.

“What is it about you that makes her like you so much?” Gongmyung approaches them from behind, hands dug into the pockets of his board shorts.

“Is it the dog or is it the owner?” Soojung says as Haru lunges at her again with affection.

Gongmyung laughs, “I mean, I was hoping I’d run into you again today but I didn’t think I would be as lucky.”

“As long as you know that,” Soojung smiles and picks up the ball Haru had picked up and throws it into the water.

“So what do I owe the pleasure?” Gongmyung gestures to the empty spot beside her to see if he could sit and Soojung nods.

“Insomnia,” she says bluntly.

“Something on your mind?”

“Yeah, some random guy I met on the beach wants to know all my problems.”

Gongmyung laughs, “Too fast, I get it… How about we talk about something else. Like what are you here for?” Soojung remains tightlipped, partially because it was fun watching him struggle, mostly because she wasn’t entirely sure what she was doing there. She was waiting for Suzy – that much she knew – but beyond that, this trip – everything was a haze. “Well, I’m here because I was dragged here by my parents.”

“By your parents?”

“See they had some bad news for me and thought that I would take it better if I was sipping on pina coladas whilst staring at the beach.”

“Did it make it help?”

He shrugs, “Jokes on them cause I thought it was good news anyways. It was time for them to get a divorce and I’ve accepted that. Watching them fight would make for a great reality show but when it’s the same old argument it gets a bit boring. Like watching a re-run that never ends.”

“I know that feeling…”

“Crazy parents?”

“Only a very small fraction of my story,” Soojung laughs.

“So she opens up,” Gongmyung nudges her slightly and Soojung tips sideways. They sit in silence for a moment longer before Haru returns with the ball. She’s slightly wet but Soojung doesn’t mind. She ruffles her fur and throws the ball again. “Strong arm.”

“I’m good a sports.”

“What do you play?”

“Not play, but I’m good at track and field.”

“Just when I thought you couldn’t get more attractive.” Soojung rolls her eyes and laughs.

“Soojung!” Suzy calls out to her from afar.

“You must be popular, you always have friends looking for you.”

“If only you knew…” Soojung says as Gongmyung helps her up from her seat. Without hesitation she takes his hand and stumbles awkwardly into his arms as she tries to find her bearings in the sand.

Suzy approaches with caution, trying to read the air between them. “Hi, I’m Suzy,” she extends her arm out to Gongmyung who smiles and happily takes her hand.

“Gongmyung.”

“You two?” Suzy says, drawing a line between them with her finger.

“Oh he’s my stalker,” Soojung says casually and Gongmyung snorts.

“A pretty lady like yourself must be used to it by now.”

Suzy’s face scrunches as she tries to hold back her laughter, “Right, if I’m interrupting something I can comeback.”

“No, it’s fine, what did you want to do today?”

“Well, once you get changed we can go and visit the markets and do some sight-seeing.”

“I feel bad if it’s just us, wouldn’t everyone else want to join?”

“They actually wanted to lounge by the pool today,” Suzy lies, “So we can have time to ourselves.”

“If you want I can show you ladies around, after all I’ve been here for three days now, I’m pretty sure I know my way.” He says with a playful lilt in his voice.

Suzy looks up at Gongmyung and back at Soojung who seems absent minded. “We’ll be fine, but if you give Soojung your number just in case so I can call you if anything happens?”

“Wait what?” Soojung glares at Suzy who hands him Soojung’s phone from her bag.

Soojung watches as Gongmyung saves his name in her phone as ‘Haru’s Dad’. She tries not to laugh at how incredulous this was. Suzy grabs Soojung’s hand and takes her away.

“She’ll call you later Haru’s dad!” Suzy shouts as they move further away from him

***

They wander through the busy markets holding hands, take pictures with the flowers that lined the fences of buildings and try on big hats and giant sunglasses. Suzy happily sips on her watermelon juice whilst Soojung sips on her sugarcane juice. They don’t really stop, because stopping would mean that they would have to talk and Suzy needs to give Soojung a resolution, one that she doesn’t have yet.

***

The sun is setting when they arrive to an empty house. Soojung drops the keys and starts to call out for anyone, looking for a response. “Where’d they go?” she asks and Suzy just shrugs. She flops onto the couch and Soojung takes the seat on the opposite end.

“Man I’m tired,” she says falling onto Soojung’s lap, closing the gap between them.

“Same.”

Things fall quiet as Soojung lets out a long sigh. “So hey, I know you’re probably still reeling from whatever happened this morning. But I mean it. I’m going to find a way to make everything right between us again. I just need to figure out what the right thing is.”

“How about no more secrets, from either of us.”

“No secrets…” Suzy sighs and sits up, “Then I need to tell you something. Can we go for a walk?”

They go for a stroll down on the beach as the sun is setting. Suzy tells Soojung everything about her and Jongin. The gift on her birthday, the night of his father’s funeral, the day he came to fetch her from Joohyun’s house and how for the past week and a half they had tried to desperately keep it to themselves, only hanging out in her room or his, morning coffee dates and late night study sessions that turned into something else.

Soojung winces at the last detail, the thought of her ex and her best friend. But she shakes her head, who was she kidding, Jongin never belonged to her. Suzy turns on her heels and looks at Soojung hopefully.

“Finally,” Soojung says breathing a sigh of relief. “I don’t think I could’ve lived through another of Jongin’s failed relationships.”

Suzy laughs and nods, “We were being a bit stupid.”

“A bit?” there’s a genuine smile from Soojung, the first in a while, “I’m happy for the both of you, truly. There are a few great love stories in the world and I’m glad you’ve found yours.” She wraps her arms around Suzy and the other girl wraps her arms back.

“You’ll find yours someday, I know it…”

There’s a glow growing in the distance moving closer towards the both of them. Soojung breaks away from Suzy and tries to focus on the faces coming into view. It feels familiar and it’s not long before Soojung recognises it to be her dream. She inches backward but Suzy grabs her hand and smiles.

“It’s for you.”

“We’re celebrating you and your existence.” Jongin is the one holding the cake and behind him is all of their friends.

“We love you, Soojung, never doubt that,” Suzy whispers in her ear and plants a peck on her cheek before shuffling her towards the cake. “Now make a wish.”

Soojung looks at everyone’s faces and fights back the tears. She smiles and closes her eyes before blowing out the candle. This time Soojung feels a bit more hopeful.

***

“Hey, can we talk?” Suzy reaches out for Jongin’s arm and pulls him aside.

“Nothing ever good follows that question.” Everyone’s sitting around the bonfire, laughing and having fun so no one really notices them leaving.

She snorts, “It could be a lot worse,” she says as they drag their feet down the beach, keeping a safe, non-suspicious distance between them for fear they’d be caught out. “I’ve been thinking a lot about our conversation the other night, the one about telling people so we wouldn’t have to hide.”

“Well technically it wasn’t so much of a conversation as you mentioning it and then going radio silent on me.” Suzy turns her head, looking at him bewildered at the accusation like he didn’t know. Jongin bursts out into laughter, “I was kidding – and what conclusion did you come to?”

“I’ve told Soojung.”

“And?” Jongin doesn’t know why it fills his stomach with nerves.

“She said she ‘finally’ first off and that she was happy for us.”

“So we can tell everyone then?”

“I think we should wait a bit longer, at least until all of this blows over, this thing with Soojung… the last thing I want to do is to go rubbing it in her face and I don’t even know what’s going on with Sehun and Joohyun. I just don’t want to aggravate the situation any further than I already have.”

“Sehun and Joohyun?” Jongin repeats like he had misheard.

“Story for later…”

“You’ve really got to stop taking all the blame for this.”

“I will when I feel like I’ve fixed it.”

“Always a martyr aren’t you,” he says jokingly, “Look, I can deal with not telling people – the fact that you’ll have me is enough, and I kind of like it that we can keep this as ours just for a little longer.” Jongin’s back perfectly covers Suzy’s petite frame as he reaches out for her face and caresses her cheeks, “Hopefully not for too long though, only because I know there’s going to be moments where we’re in public like this and I really want to kiss you,” he says wearing the biggest grin on his face.

Suzy glances around and quickly kisses her index finger and plants it on his lips, “Hopefully this’ll do for now,” she says.

“I expect a proper one when we get back home,” he teases.

“And what if I don’t want to?”

“You can resist these lips?”

Suzy smiles sheepishly, “I’ll only kiss you if you catch me,” she says in a low voice as she brushes past him before running back to their group of friends, laughing and screaming as Jongin chased after her.

Everyone laughs as Jongin wraps his arm around her, trying to carry her to the water as Suzy grabs onto the person closest to her. Suzy shouts for help when she realises that Sehun would be more than happy to help Jongin carry her out to the beach. The two boys look at each other and nod before Sehun grabs her by the legs and they both drop her into the water.

“Yah! Kim Jongin, Oh Sehun! You’re dead!” Suzy shouts as she chases after both of them before the rest of the party join. The girls leap to Suzy’s aid whilst Taemin happily sits out and watches as Jongin and Sehun suffer. It feels like they’re kids again, running in the garden fighting with foam swords, tripping over their own feet but having each other to help.

None of them realize how desperately they’re all trying to stay within this perfect moment.

***

I'm hanging on another day just to see what you will throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be ok

Time sure flies.