Well I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

***

Summer goes by all too fast and it’s the beginning of autumn before they know it. Jongin runs into Soohyun on the street and it had been two months last since he had seen his cousin. Soohyun takes the lead and walks ahead, he seems a bit distracted Jongin thinks, but nothing out of the ordinary considering where he worked.  They walk into the nearest café to grab a meal together. “Been busy?” Jongin asked with a playful lilt in his voice, noticing the expression on his cousin’s face.

Soohyun smirked, “This would be my fifth cup today – that’s how busy I am.”

“Bae Doojoon making you work hard?”

“He wants to hire me at the end of my internship so he’s really giving me the big cases to see if I can deal with them.”

“That’s great.”

“I’m not sure if I want to though.”

“Why?”

Soohyun doesn’t know where to begin explaining. He believed in karmic retribution and maybe using the man whose daughter he hurt wouldn’t necessarily be a good idea in the long run. “I’m not sure how I feel about Korea anymore, there are plenty more jobs in America,” Soohyun lied.

“How long left till your internship ends?”

“Two months,” Soohyun said.

“So you’ll be here just long enough for the debutante ball.”

“Yes - unfortunately.”

“Good. We’ll have plenty more catch ups from now till then.”

Soohyun clenched his fist, “Sorry buddy,” he said, “I don’t think that’s possible.”

Jongin looked at his cousin with wide-eyed curiosity, “I know you’re busy but that’s ridiculous.”

“Well once you become a grown up you’ll know, Jongin.”

“Yeah, a lot of people have been telling me that and I’m not sure if I want to.”

“We all have to someday.”

“You just seem like you’re really eager to leave Korea and I was wondering if Ara noona had anything to do with that?”

Soohyun glanced up from his cup of coffee and smiled, “No.”

***

Suzy makes her way up to the dance studio in Redwood where all debutants and their partners were asked to meet. It was only a few more weeks till the debutant ball and they had to practice their choreography. She meets Kyungsoo who’s standing in the corner with Sehun. “What are you doing here?” Suzy asked Sehun who rolled his eyes.

“If you’ve forgotten, I’m a dancer, so I’m here. Only instead I come and find myself kicked out of my own place.” Sehun taps his foot against the floor impatiently, feeling irked by the people who had no care for the sanctity of his practice room.

“Ah well, be lucky you don’t have to worry about this.”

Kyungsoo wrapped his arm casually around Suzy’s shoulder as she pulled him in closer to her. She slapped him playfully on his chest and turned around to find Soojung and Jongin who were finding it a bit difficult to manouever through the crowd and choreography. Soojung has two left feet, especially when it comes to dancing. She struts like a model down the street but she stumbles over toes on the dance floor. “There’s too many people,” Soojung huffed and walked away leaving Jongin stunned.

“It’s easy,” Suzy smirked and turned to her partner and dragged him out onto the dance floor. He pulls her towards him roughly and teases with a haughty smirk before he runs his hand down her back where it would sit. “See, confidence is key.” The glory is short lived when Kyungsoo forgets a step and they stumble over each other.

“Not the only key,” Soojung retorted, holding her sides to stop herself from bursting out into manic laughter. They laugh in unison, their cheeks flushed from embarrassment.

Kyungsoo and Suzy make their way off the dance floor, “No one else seems to be struggling as much as us,” Suzy pouted and nudged Soojung gently. Her friend nodded in agreement. They eyed the couples on the dance floor, laughing harmoniously as they swayed to the rhythm of the music in unison.

“How does this dance even work?” Sehun asked. The boy wasn’t familiar with anything that wasn’t popping.

“Well we would show you but it’s quite hard when your partner has two left feet.”

“I just work better with my hands than my feet,” Kyungsoo chimed in.

“Why don’t you get Suzy and Jongin to do a run through together, at least then you can see what the dance is meant to look like. You can keep practicing but it wont get you anywhere if you barely know what you’re meant to be doing.”

Soojung glared at Sehun who shrugged back and Jongin who had already seemingly made up his mind. Suzy bit her lip nervously and looked at Kyungsoo who ushered for her to do it, “I don’t want to embarrass you on the night,” he whispered into her ear. Suzy nodded and extended her hand out towards Jongin.

“Come on then, we’ll show them how it’s really done. Also who the better dancer is.”

Jongin rolled his eyes, “You haven’t seen me dance lately, Bae Suzy, you don’t know.”

“Alright,” she smirked and placed her hand on his shoulder. Jongin placed his hand on her lower back and with their fingers intertwined they moved to the pace of the music. Jongin counts his steps beneath his breath, which makes Suzy laugh, “Really?” she teased, “The great Kim Jongin counting his steps.”

“I do it for Soojung,” he said and immediately stiffened up.

“But I’m not Jung Soojung,” Suzy said with a playful lilt.

“No need to tell me that,” Jongin said and chuckled.

Jongin eases into his skin after a while and it’s like they’re eight again, drinking tea and eating cake whilst twirling around in his living room. It was at the same time that they fell in love with dance, watching Swan Lake on their television screen together. Suzy never thought it was abnormal that Jongin was a boy who loved to dance. It was what made him special.

“How’s Kyungsoo?” Jongin asks.

“He’s good, but could I ask a favour of you?”

“What is it?”

“Talk to him? Be friends with him.”

“Suzy, I’m sure he has friends outside of this circle. What about his friends over at St. Ives.”

“Yeah, I know. But this is different. If we’re going to be in a stable long-term relationship I need you guys to be friends with each other. We’ve all grown up together and he might feel out of the loop.”

“Long term huh?” Jongin holds his breath as he contemplates her request. He nods a few seconds later and lets out a heavy sigh, “I’m not responsible for whatever Sehun does to him.”

“Hey!” Suzy snapped, “I’m trusting you!”

Jongin stifled a laugh and nodded his head in defeat. He’d do anything for her even if she didn’t ask him. He’d do anything for his friends. Jongin twirls her out and they curtsy just as the song ends and everyone claps. “That’s how a pro does it,” Jongin brags as they weave their way through the crowd to Kyungsoo and Soojung. Soojung grumbles something beneath her breath, no doubt calling Jongin a show off.

“So Soojung and I will be having a girls night tonight,” Suzy exclaimed, her eyes fixed on Jongin.

“We ar—” Soojung is about to ask when Suzy grabs her quickly.

“Remember, movie night,” Suzy winked and nudged and Soojung cautiously nodded her head, “What are you boys doing?” Suzy asked and smiled at Jongin.

Sehun looked on wearily, noticing how Suzy was smiling so brightly it was off putting. “What’s it to you?”

“We were going to go shoot some pool,” Jongin finally speaks up, “Do you play Kyungsoo?”

“Just a little,” he says.

“Do you want to join us?”

“Oh… I d—”

“You should!” Suzy said a little bit loudly. She stopped and cleared , “I mean, you guys should hang out, get to know each other.”

Kyungsoo looked at Suzy with a quizzical expression. After a moment of contemplation he nodded his head, “Sure.”

“Great, do you know Sweeney?”

“Yeah.”

“See you there at seven?”

Kyungsoo nods his head and Suzy pulls him back onto the dance floor for further practice. Jongin watches on with Sehun approaching him from behind. “What was that about?” he said in a low tone.

“Just getting to know him.”

“Pft,” Sehun snorts, “She asked you didn’t she.”

“Doesn’t matter, whoever is her friend is a friend of mine, or rather ours.”

“I’m not looking to make anymore friends, they become a bit of a burden after a while.”

Jongin turns around and rolls his eyes at Sehun, “Of course.”

Sehun glanced over at Suzy whose expression was so bright he could hardly believe she had been through what she had been through. That was the thing Sehun had learnt the most about Suzy over the past few months and something he had come to admire. Even with the weight of everything on her she still shone brightly like the sun. He hadn’t really noticed this before.

He then searched for Soojung in the crowd twirling and trying to remember her steps. Jongin approaches her slowly and extends his hand to her and the two happily sway like two moronic lovebirds. Sehun picks up his bag and with one last glance at his friend, leaves.

***

It’s pretty quiet down at the bar for a Thursday night but it makes for a better atmosphere. Kyungsoo is there already when Jongin and Sehun arrive, he shoots the ball and it falls into the hole. Jongin presses his lips into a thin line. Do Kyungsoo was more impressive than Jongin gave him credit for. “Just getting warmed up,” Kyungsoo smirks and sets up the table again for a new game.

“Do you play often?” Jongin asked.

“Not really,” Kyungsoo gestures for Jongin or Sehun to break the pile to which Sehun does.

“Yeah, neither do I,” Sehun smirks after a few balls fall into the hole. It was clear that neither of the boys were letting up how good they were at playing. The game lasts for a few rounds with just cups of soda between the boys to ease the tension.

It’s not like Jongin didn’t like Kyungsoo but there was something that made him feel uneasy. He wasn’t entirely sure what it was. Maybe it was because Kyungsoo was the first boy that seemed different to the other boys. Jongin couldn’t read him. He had no idea about Kyungsoo’s intentions. The other boys were obvious, they dated Suzy for her looks, they wanted her body, wanted her kiss, but Kyungsoo seemed different. Maybe Soojung was right, maybe it was because he was different, brighter, Jongin saw that, but where there is light there is shadows and Jongin isn’t entirely sure he likes what he sees in Kyungsoo’s eyes.

Sehun wins the first game, Kyungsoo wins the second and Jongin wins the third. The fourth game becomes the tiebreaker with each boy as competitive as the other. “Just because we’ve only met a few times doesn’t mean I’ll go easy on you,” Jongin smirked.

“I’d appreciate it if you didn’t, it would make winning much more satisfying,” Kyungsoo retorted.

“You talk tough,” Jongin replied.

“Both of you shut up and just play,” Sehun said in annoyance.

Out of sheer luck Jongin manages to win by the breadth of a hair. It’s about half past eight when they retire for a meal. A hearty serve of chicken parma made all of their stomachs grumble and the boys dig in. “So what do you do?” Sehun asks, “Besides dating our best friend.”

Kyungsoo snorts, “I study, and when I’m not studying I’m helping my father run the museum.”

“Yes, yes, but what do you do? Your hobbies, you’re not as boring as we think you are, are you?” Sehun looked at Kyungsoo and mimicked his doe-eyes only to have Jongin look at him disapprovingly.

Kyungsoo nods, “Well I sing.”

“You sing?” Jongin asked in disbelief.

“Yeah, some people dance, I sing.”

“So are you part of some choir? Quartet? Boy band…?” Sehun deadpanned and let a snort escape his lips. Jongin tried his best to supress his grin.

“Nope,” Kyungsoo replied, “I sometimes busk.”

“Because you’re poor right?” Jongin added sarcastically.

“Nope,” Kyungsoo says with a cheery smile, “The money I raise isn’t for me. I donate it to the nursing home some funds.”

“You’re about everything old aren’t you…” Sehun says wearily, finding his attraction to prehistoric pieces transcending objects and moving onto people. That and the fact that Sehun doesn’t have grandparents mean he rarely interacts with the elderly besides the old hags that teach him at Redwood. His grandparents on the other hand spoil Jongin but even so find it odd that Kyungsoo would interact with others that aren’t their own.

Kyungsoo laughs and nods his head, “They tell great stories. You can learn a lot from them.”

“So how often do you do it?” Jongin asks curiously, fork still stabbing at his mashed potatoes.

“Every fortnight they have a fundraiser. They’ve been struggling a lot with the heating during the cooler seasons so we’re trying to raise some money for them to install proper heating systems. It’s a bit of a rush to get the money. We wanted to get the heating systems in before winter hits.”

“Why are you putting in so much effort for people you don’t know?”

Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders, “It’s nice to give. Plus think about it. It could be your own grandparent in there and of course you’d want to look after them.”

Jongin stiffens up, “Well I don’t have grandparents,” Sehun says, a tinge of arrogance in his voice.

Kyungsoo nods and Jongin falls silent.

“You guys should come down one day, meet them. They love it when they get visitors.”

Sehun furrows his brows but before he can respond with a sarcastic comment Jongin intercepts with a reply, “Sounds good.”

***

“You know, Suzy said you only had to be friends with him, not best friends.”

Jongin snorts and turns the steering wheel of the car as he drives down the street. “What do you think about him? Honestly, and none of that sarcastic bull.”

“Uh…” Sehun ponders for a second, “He’s alright, I don’t trust him entirely. I don’t tend to trust a lot of people. It just makes it easier when they disappoint you though so you shouldn’t take my opinion into account.” Sehun smirks, “But if you’re wondering what I think about Suzy dating him…” Sehun’s voice trails off and he stares at Jongin, hoping for a slight reaction. When he notices how Jongin’s jaw twitches, Sehun continues, “She could do better.”

“You jealous?” Jongin asks, “You’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately.”

“Yes.”

“Really?”

“Nope,” Sehun laughed.

“. What’s wrong with you and Suzy?”

“Everything that’s wrong with you and Soojung.”

“What does that mean?” Jongin tensed up, his hands twisting the leather of the steering wheel.

“I don’t want to date friends, there’s too much pressure for a relationship to work out. What happens if it doesn’t work out? Then what?”

“Thanks buddy, very reassuring.”

“Hey, if you and Soojung workout good for you. If you get married and have kids—”

“Woah, woah, get married? Have kids? Let’s finish high school first.”

“So you don’t think you’ll last past high school?”

Jongin shrugs, “See how it goes.”

“Well you better not ruin the group for everyone, I think we’ve had enough drama for the year.” Jongin rolled his eyes as Sehun continued, “You never told me what you think of that Kyungsoo guy.”

Jongin pressed his lips into a thin line, “I’m not sure I trust him entirely.”

“Really?” Sehun said with much delight, “I know what my excuse is, what’s yours?” Sehun asked with enthusiasm.

“I don’t know.”

“Wow, something you don’t have the answer too.” Sehun laughs and says, “Is Saint Do Kyungsoo dodgy? Only time will tell.”

***

 Jongin arrives home after dropping Sehun off at his house. It’s almost eleven but the light in his father’s study is still on. Jongin knocks on the door and peers in slowly, his father slump in his chair reading a newspaper. “Can’t sleep?” Jongin asks and carefully walks into his room.

“What are you doing home so late?” Jonghyun asks.

“I was having dinner with friends and drove Sehun home.”

“I didn’t buy you a car so you could drive aimlessly around.”

Jongin takes a short breath and holds it before he releases it. It was hard to hold a conversation with his father, unless of course they were talking about business models and his future as CEO of the company. His father cared little for his but expected him to not do anything to tarnish his reputation and affect the company he was to inherit.

“I want to go see grandma and grandpa tomorrow tonight.”

“What?” Jonghyun lowered his newspaper and peeled of his glasses. He massaged his eyes and gestured for Jongin to take a seat. “Why?”

“I don’t know. I miss them. I haven’t seen grandpa in almost a year.”

Jonghyun made a noise with his throat, one that Jongin read as him being uncomfortable with the sitatuation. Jongin’s grandparents had always been against how Jonghyun raised his son. Jonghyun knew that if Jongin was to go see his grandparents he wouldn’t hear the end of it. “Don’t you have homework to do?”

“No, tomorrow’s Friday and all the homework would be due then so I’d have the weekend free to spend with grandma and grandpa.”

Jonghyun gives in and waves his hand to gesture for Jongin to leave, “You should take your sisters too, make it a sibling vacation.”

Jongin looked at his father indignantly, “But dad, really?”

“Yes, your sisters haven’t seen you grandparents in a while too, especially Ara. Show them that she’s not dead and that America was a good decision,” Jonghyun beamed. “Off you go.”

Jongin drags his feet across the marble floor glumly. he had wanted to spend a weekend with his parents alone and not with his pesky sisters.

Morning comes around and Jongin’s already packed most of his items for the weekend. It was just a few pieces of clothing and a few pairs of briefs. His grandparents had a room prepared for all of them when they came that was already filled with their clothes. However, considering that they hadn’t been to the grandparents home in a few years there was no doubt that they would not fit any of the clothes they had left there originally.

There’s a bang at the door and Jongin doesn’t get to reply when Chorong storms into the room in a huff. “You’re going to grandpa and grandma’s and you weren’t going to tell us?” She pinched his ears and pulled him up to his feet. Jongin winced in pain and cursed out loud.

“Hey!” he snarled, “I was going to.” Jongin pulled himself away from her grip and rubbed his red ear.

“When? After you were already there?” Chorong rolled her eyes.

“Yes,” Jongin confessed.

“If it’s an excuse to get out of here I’m coming,” Chorong storms out of the room, “Ara is coming too!” she shouts, her voice echoing in the hall.

Jongin sighs and tosses his suitcase onto the bed. He was going to be late to school if he didn’t move fast. He would grab is last remaining items when he got home in the afternoon. Jongin dashed down the stairs and out the front door without waiting for his sisters. Chorong was probably going to drive to school anyway and Ara would join her. Jongin wasn’t keen on tasting death, which he often did when Chorong drove so he took the chauffeur.

***

 “You should do it, Soojung, when are you going to get another chance at this?”

“I’m not ready,” Soojung complained as she slammed the door of the limousine behind her.

“Two months and you’re not ready? Come on, you’re just avoiding it now.”

“Why do you keep pushing me away? Do you really want me to move out that much? Fine I’ll move, I’ll go to my Aunty’s house.” Soojung snaps in frustration. She really didn’t want to go home and face her mother, not after she had lied to her about everything. She knew that Suzy was right but Soojung didn’t want to hear it. She needed a friend who would tell her that it was ok to run away from it all, but not good friend would.

“You know what I mean and you know that I’m not pushing you away,” Suzy said indignantly, “But she’s your mother and well by every right he’s your father too, even if you don’t carry his blood.”

The girls stood toe to toe, Soojung avoiding Suzy’s gaze when she notice Sehun standing from across the courtyard with his blonde hair shinning under the autumn sun. Sehun notices her but he doesn’t move from his spot and continues talking to a few other boys.

“Are you even listening to me?” Suzy snaps and Soojung her head sideways.

“Nope, I don’t intend you.” Soojung marches off in protest leaving Suzy behind. Feeling frustrated Suzy let out a grunt of frustration.

“Not a morning person, are you?”

Suzy glared at Jongin and crossed her arms in annoyance, “You girlfriend,” Suzy starts “Is by far the most frustrating person I’ve ever dealt with in my entire life. Between her and my mother it’s no wonder why I haven’t checked myself into an insane asylum yet.”

“Is something going on at home?”

“Her mother called, she wants her to go home and talk. I’m not kicking her out or anything but she needs to talk to her mother.”

“Like how you should talk to your father?”

“There’s nothing to talk about there,” Suzy responded instantaneously. It was a natural reflex that whenever her father was mentioned Suzy immediately shut down. She didn’t want to talk about him merely because there was nothing to talk about. He cheated on her mother whilst they were still married and they had still yet to be divorced. He was openly committing these acts of adultery without proper consideration for his wife and family. Suzy hated him.

“I’ll talk to her, but there’s only so much I can say. Whether or not she talks to her mother is her choice.”

“You’re certainly chipper today,” Suzy deadpanned.

“Of course, I get to go see my grandparents this weekend.”

“You’re going to see Grandma and Grandpa Kim?”

Suzy remembered the old couple that doted on her like she was their own grandchild. They loved Suzy as much as they did Jongin and on days when they would come around to visit their grandson they would bring sweets. An array of soft and chewy candies that Suzy loved. Grandma Kim also made the best Kimchi pancake and it was hard to master her culinary skills.

“Yeah for the weekend.”

“I wish I could go with you,” Suzy said with a pout that made Jongin laugh.

“Well you’re welcome to if you’re serious about it, after all Chorong and Ara are coming so I’m at least going to need a friend to stop them from driving me crazy.”

“Ah well I can’t leave Soojung alone with my mother, even though your grandparents did a much more impressive role in raising me.” Jongin snorted and together they walked towards their lockers where Suzy found Soojung still huffing. “Jung listen,” Suzy is about to explain herself when Soojung stops her by slamming the locker door shut and she walks away.

Suzy tossed her bag in and grabbed her books whilst keeping a close eye on Jongin and Soojung.

Soojung leans in against the locker, head resting on the cold steel but her eyes were fixed on the ground, or rather, Jongin’s feet. “What’s wrong?” Jongin asked reaching for his English textbooks at the back of his locker.

Soojung doesn’t reply. She keeps tapping her feet and scuffing up her shoes as a result. It was always a concern when Soojung was this quiet. The only time Jongin had seen her this quiet was when Suzy left. The eye of the storm doesn’t last that long and Jongin doesn’t want Soojung to break like how she did last time. Jongin glances over at Suzy who was watching over them from afar with a look of guilt on her face. He gives Suzy a reassuring nod and walks with Soojung, shoulders grazing each other’s as they walked in silence.

Jongin keeps her company whilst she’s deep in thought. “She’s right, isn’t she?” Soojung says in defeat after a while.

“What do you mean?”

“Suzy’s right, I should talk to my parents, I can’t just move out and never talk to them.”

Jongin snorted, “Suzy’s not always right.” Soojung looked up hopefully, like he might have something else she could do. Maybe run away with him on a romantic rendezvous – a place where they didn’t have to worry about friends or families more so a place where someone wouldn’t recognise them. “But maybe, just this one time she is.”

“You think she’s right too?”

“I know that she’s thinking about what’s best for you and I also want what’s best for you.”

Soojung takes a deep breath and marches forward but Jongin sees a bit of a glimmer in her eyes when she turns around and tells him to hurry up. He nods his head and quickens his pace to catch up to her. Suzy lets out the breath that she had been holding. She hoped all would be well.

***

Suzy went home alone that afternoon after dropping Soojung back at her house. She had said that she’d be home should Soojung want to come back. Suzy tossed her bag down on her bed and changed out of her uniform. She slipped into her giant knitted sweater and tied her hair in a loose bun. She slipped around in her knee high socks and fished for her phone. Kyungsoo had messaged her, asking about her day, which Suzy simply said to it about being fine.

She fished out a cigarette from her draw and lit it up inside her room. Slowly she walked out to the balcony that overlooked the front of her house which stretched so far out that made it quicker to drive in than to walk from the front gates. Suzy took a drag of her cigarette and tapped off the ashes over the railings. She glanced over at Jongin’s place where she had a clear view of and noticed how the cars in their front yard looked as if they were ready to move away.

She put out her cigarette, she was never a smoker, but there was something soothing and warm about smoke twirling on her tongue between puffs. She grabbed a mint off the table and dashed down the flight of stairs. She cut through the forage to get to him quickly, “How long are you gone for?” she asked as she tapped him on the shoulder.

Jongin is surprised to see her wandering around in just a loose sweater and boots, but he averts his gaze and smiles, “Just the weekend, I’ll be back Sunday afternoon.”

The breeze brushed past her skin and Suzy rubbed her exposed shoulder trying to keep herself warm. “You’re lucky, Kim Jongin, to have grandparents who care about you.”

“They’re basically your grandparents too,” Jongin said.

Suzy shook her head, “I have my grandparents but they’re too ashamed of what a mess my family has become to ever talk to us again.”

“Come with me, I’m being serious.”

Suzy laughs, her voice carried away by the wind. “I can’t I don’t want to intrude.”

“Come, they’d love to see you. Plus it’s not like you had big plans this weekend right?”

“Kyungsoo wanted to go out,” Suzy clutched onto the loose strands of hair that covered her face.

Jongin pressed his lips into a thin line and nodded in disappointment, “Well maybe next time.” Suzy nodded and gave him a pat on the back before retreating back inside. Jongin tossed his luggage into the boot of his range rover and slammed the boot shut.

“I’m driving my own car,” Chorong shouted as she stumbled out of the front door with her luggage in hand. Ara followed closely behind, eyes fixed on her phone. “You’ve been messaging a lot lately,” Chorong noted.

Ara smirked, “It’s my boyfriend, and he’s terribly needy.”

“He is or you are?” Chorong teased, “Just go back to America already if you miss him.”

“He’s coming over here soon, I don’t need to worry.”

“You both are just probably as clingy as each other,” Chorong retorted.

“No sense of romance,” Ara said and sighed.

“I’m driving my own car,” Jongin chimed in, “I refuse to get into the car with this maniac. I value my life.”

“Of course you do, you spoilt brat.” Chorong tosses her bag into her convertible and Ara does the same. She hops in the front passenger seat and Chorong hops into the passenger seat, she revs her engine as it roars to life and the two girls turn back to say goodbye to their brother.

“See you there Jongin,” Ara shouts, her voice fading at the speed of the car.

***

Suzy glanced at the pills in her draw which were dwindling in numbers. Just as she pulled out a pill from the bottom she heard manic laughter from her neighbours. It was the unmistakable voice of Chorong ringing across the front yard and carried into her room. Suzy glanced at the pill in her hand and popped it back into the bottle when Kyungsoo’s ringtone caught her attention.

‘I’ve managed to somehow get food poisoning. I don’t think I can go anywhere this weekend.’

‘It’s alright,’ Suzy typed, ‘Get well soon and call me if you need anything. Also keep away from any dairy products and oil.’

‘What would I do without you Bae Suj?’

‘In hospital.’

The sound of a car engine roaring to life caught her attention and Suzy glanced up at the setting sun. She quickly dialled for Jongin’s number whilst hastily tossing clothes into the duffle bag she had on the floor. When he didn’t answer his phone Suzy tossed her phone into her bag as well and swung it over her shoulders. There was something she got from looking at that sunset that set her alight. She didn’t want to be alone tonight, especially if Soojung wasn’t coming back.

It was because of Soojung that Suzy realised how much she hated being alone as the sunset. She tossed the bag over her shoulder and still in her boots and oversized sweater Suzy leapt down the stairs of her house and out the front gate where Jongin’s range rover was beginning to pull out of the drive way. With every ounce of strength she had left Suzy swung the bag over her shoulders and ran the length of her front yard to the entrance. It was down a long curved path that had man pebbles and rocks which caused her to stumble but never fall. Suzy kept a close eye on his car which was moving further away from her.

“Kim Jongin! Stop!” Suzy shouted at the top of her lungs.

Jongin keeps driving, he doesn’t hear her. Of course he wouldn’t his windows were wound tight. Suzy collapsed into a heap on her bag. She was late, again. As she watched the car away Suzy cursed to herself for being stupid enough to chase after a car. It’s not like she was super human.

The car however, stops thirty meters away from her and Suzy looks up to see Jongin looking at her with a bemused expression. He was standing by his car, waiting for her and Suzy picked up her bag and ran towards him quickly and hopped into the car.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” Suzy smiled and let out sigh of relief.

“Anytime.”

***

Soojung rang the doorbell of Suzy’s house at ten. She was greeted by Eunsang who welcomed her into the house. “Is Suzy home?”

“Suzy? She went running like a mad woman after Jongin before,” Eunsang said innocently.

“Why?”

“She had a bag with her and everything; I guess she didn’t expect you’d return tonight.”

Soojung knitted her brows together, Suzy said she’d wait for her. Then again of late Bae Suzy’s promises were quite empty and left a lot of be desired. Like how she promised she’d stay with Soojung through thick and thin, like how she promised she no longer had feelings for her boyfriend but so happily ran away with him for a weekend. Like how she promised that nothing bad would happen if Soojung spoke to her mother – but it did. Soojung wanted to tell her about how her mother wanted her to move overseas with her and how her father did little to stop them. They were getting a divorce after all. Soojung didn’t want to leave, but it was hard to stay when there was no one who wanted her.

“You’re welcomed to stay in Suzy’s room, Soojung,” Eunsang said, “Always-welcomed,” she reiterated.

Soojung nodded her head and climbed up the stairs slowly to an empty, dark room. She fell onto Suzy’s bed and let the sheets engulf her. Then something struck her, something she hadn’t had the time to check on. Soojung climbed over to Suzy’s draw and searched for the yellow bottle that she had found a few weeks ago. She needed to confirm if her suspicions were true.

She pulled out the yellow bottle with only five pills left at the bottom. Soojung clutched onto it tightly. The last time she had checked there was about less than half of the bottle left. There was only five and Soojung knew what she was dealing with clearly.

***

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

This chapter took a bit longer than usual because I hit a writer's block and I'm also getting a bit busier with life.
However it's probably one of the longer chapters so far but I just finished it and it's almost 2AM but I wanted to post it.
Forgive any typos I'll go through it tomorrow when I wake up.
Thanks for reading, if you enjoyed it please leave a comment.
If you have any questions about the fic or you just want to talk about ships and stuff message me HERE
xo