Can't you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now? 
I've been waiting for you to come rescue me,
I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not, 
Living inside of me. 

***

It’s never quiet for long when school begins. Mornings are busier and time flies by without so much as a warning. Lee Yeonhee strutted around her house with her nose held high and her eyes wide open. She was keeping an eye out for a creased curtain, a wilted flower amongst a bouquet or a speck of dust on the high shelves. She observed silently as the maids rushed around the house, dutifully preparing breakfast. The table was filled with a rainbow of fruits, a stack of pancakes soaked in honey and bacon and eggs beside a pile of freshly made bread. The food on this table was more than enough to for large brunch let alone breakfast. So it was a good thing that an unexpected guest would arrive this morning.

“Aunty,” the young boy greeted the older lady warmly. “It’s been a while.”

The older lady embraced him with two arms and kissed him on the cheek, her red lips left a mark on his rosy cheek. He pulled away, overwhelmed by her and braced her shoulders with his hands. “Soohyun, it’s been so long. How is Ara? How is your mother?”

“She’s well, aunty, in fact, she wanted to let you know that she’d been down next month to visit.”

He walked around the kitchen bench, and smelt the pancakes. “What about you? What are you doing here?” She handed him an empty plate and gestured for him to eat. Piling on food as she had plenty to spare.

Soohyun’s lips lifted on one side. “I’ve taken an internship at a firm near here,” he boasted “With Bae Doojoon.” He picked up a grape and popped it into his mouth.

“What about college? I’m surprised you didn’t ask your uncle, you know he would’ve gladly given you a position.”

Soohyun grabbed his knife and fork, dug into his meal gleefully whilst contemplating his aunt’s words. “Internships are part of the course, I’ve just decided to move back home for the time being and defer for a few months. Maybe next time,” he replied. “Where is Jongin?” he asked between mouthfuls of food.

“Upstairs, he should be down soon, he has school in an hour.”

Soohyun was three years older than Jongin, his cousin from his mother’s side. Their mother’s were sisters and Jongin was like his little brother. Soohyun wasn’t as rich as Jongin, his mother married for love in a time where people married for money. She was casted out by her father and so Soohyun never inherited a penny from his grandfather’s trust. Thankfully his father was a business manager, and although he didn’t own anything, he was well respected and able to provide for them. Still, Soohyun was always destined to be great, he was the top of his class and currently attended an Ivy League school on a scholarship. In Jongin’s eyes this made Soohyun both an inspiration and a threat that he could achieve so much without money.

“Hyung!” Jongin greeted the older male. He ran across the room and hugged him brusquely. “What are you doing here?”

“We’ll discuss this later, come, sit, eat, and tell me how you’ve been.”

Jongin pulled out the seat beside Soohyun, thanked his mother for the fresh cup of brewed coffee that was still steaming in the cup and dug into his plate. “Fine. School, what’s new? My father wants me to take up an internship at the firm on weekends.”

“And you don’t want to because?” Soohyun asked, catching onto the hesitation in Jongin’s voice.

Jongin shrugged, “My future years will be spent in that company, why stick myself in that place now?” Jongin quickly stacked some pancakes onto his plate and wolfed down his food. Soohyun nodded apathetically, Jongin’s future was already set in stone whilst Soohyun’s remained unsure. It was unfair how the world rewarded people with money.  

“Jongin, you’re not an animal, be careful or you’ll choke,” Yeonhee exclaimed. “And can you please go check up on your sister. She’s going to be late if she doesn’t get up soon.”

“She left early this morning.”

“Left early or didn’t come home at all?” Yeonhee looked like she was about to blow the roof off the house and Jongin knew very well that it was best to stay out of her way. He got to his feet quickly and scuttled off towards his bag. “Finish your food, Jongin!”

Jongin pulled up his sleeve and pretended to glance at his quartz watch. “I’ve got to practise for the debate team, I just remembered. I’ll grab a bagel from down the street.”

“Well if you see your sister, tell her that she better come home tonight, and if she doesn’t I’m taking back the car and I’ll be making sure that there will be someone tailing her 24-7.”

“Yes, mother. Catch you later, hyung,” Jongin shouted as he ran out the front door.

***

“Morning,” he mumbled into her collarbone, dribble creeping out from the corner of his lips onto her body. She rolled her eyes, frowned in disgust and pushed him off her body quickly. She glanced at the clock and began to pull all the blankets off her when he pulled her back down into his bed. “Stay,” he teased as he leaned in for a kiss. His morning breath reeked causing her to dry heave.

“No.” She sighed and pushed him off her and climbed out of bed. She scrambled around the room searching for her blouse and jacket that was carelessly thrown onto the floor last night.

“Will I see you again?” he asked.

Before she can reply there’s a loud knock at the door. The person standing on the other side seemed angry, their fist pounding against the door. “Chorong!” came the male voice.

“Who is that?” Chorong’s male friend asked and scrambled out of bed and reached for his briefs on the floor. Chorong rushed over and turned the knob, Jongin standing behind looked extremely irritated and bothered.  

Jongin grumbled “Get changed, you’re going to be late.” He tossed his bag right at her, the girl barely catching it as the impact knocked the wind out of her chest. She dug through the bag and found her school uniform neatly packed.

“Hey, who are you?” Chorong’s male friend rushed over to her side still in his briefs and wearing an Abercrombie hoodie.

Jongin rolled his eyes, grabbed him by the collar of his shirt, and pushed him against the door. “Don’t think that just because my sister makes poor choices you suddenly have the right to talk to me.” With his warning Jongin shoved him into the door and walked away leaving the older male fuming. He puffed up his chest in anger, about to chase after the boy in the school uniform when his sister stepped in.

“I’ll call you,” she said as she headed for the front door of apartment. She slipped into her Jimmy Choo shoes at the door before chasing after Jongin down the spiral steps. It distracts him long enough for him to forget why he was angry in the first place.

“But you don’t have my num-” he wanted to protest but by then she was too far-gone to hear his pleas.

***

Jongin climbed into the car hastily and Chorong followed closely behind. She complained about how his strides were too long and that they still had twenty minutes left still first period in between her gasps for air. “For once in your life, can you act like you’re the older sibling?” Jongin sneered and turned his head towards the window of their limousine so that she could get changed.

“What does it actually mean to be an older sibling?” Chorong asked.

“Not having your younger sibling clean up your mess, mum was about to blow the roof off this morning.”

“You know that she’s always looking for an excuse to vent, I don’t see how that’s my fault.”

“You definitely don’t help the situation.”

Chorong shrugged. She awkwardly shimmied into her uniform despite the space in the back of the limousine. “I bought you a bagel as well,” Jongin shoved the bag into her face, still childishly refusing to look at her.

Chorong grabbed the bag and quickly dug into the bagel. “Coffee?” she asked. Jongin sighed and reached for the warm cup of coffee in the cup holder. “It’s lukewarm,” she complained but was silenced when she noticed how Jongin’s jaw was clenched and how his nails dug into his pants. “I was teasing,” Chorong let out a laugh, one not of social ease, which was rare for her. “You take things too seriously brother.”

“Try telling dad that, apparently I’m not being serious enough.”

“He says that to everyone, he says it to me all the time,” Chorong joked.

Chorong was first born but nothing much after that. She inherited wealth and like Jongin was given the best that money could ever buy. Except Chorong, being the first child, had been forced to developed a back bone much earlier than Jongin. She believes it was because she was first child, or rather the experimental child. Chorong went through all the woes as a child, which made it perfect for when the ‘true male heir’ was born. Everything they did wrong with Chorong they ensured that they did right with Jongin. Of course no one ever really called him ‘true male heir’ and their parents always assured her that Chorong was just as highly valued as a part of the Kim family. Except she never received anything like Jongin’s golden key with her initials etched onto the surface and she was certainly never promised the world. 

So Chorong took the back seat, she let Jongin shined. She liked to wear short dresses, paint on dark red lipstick and party from dawn till dusk. Chorong was the opposite of Jongin but not that much.

“Noona, Suzy’s back in Korea.”

“Oh yeah, I saw.”

“When? Where?” Jongin asked.

“Outside of the club where Sehun hosted his party last night.”

“You were there?”

“Home is where all the booze is my dear brother. I was just simply going there to catch up with some friends when I came by her. She looks… good.”

“Why the hesitation?”

“Well, the girl basically looks like a spitting image of her mother and we all know that story.”

“Just because she looks like her doesn’t mean she’ll act like her.”

Chorong contemplated about whether or not she should tell Jongin about what she saw as well. However after a minute of contemplation she decided not to. Even though Jongin had notice the furrow in his sister’s brow he could not ask because they had just arrived outside of their school.

“See you later, squirt.” Chorong waved as she swung her bag over one shoulder, cinched up her skirt and rolled up her sleeves.

“Come home today,” Jongin shouted “If you don’t mum’s going to take away your car!”

“Thanks for the heads up!” Chorong shouted back and disappeared into the crowd.

***

In the library near the window seat where she last spoke to Jongin, Suzy sat and read her book. She was bathing in the warmth of the morning sun and enjoying Sense and Sensibility. She had been at school since the crack of dawn, eager to make a dent in her reading but especially eager to escape breakfast with her mother. Not after last night’s dinner fiasco. She glanced at the watch on her wrist and observed as the minutes ticked away far too quickly for her liking.

“Hello, Suzy – fancy seeing you here.” It was Sehun wearing his trademark grin that had trouble written all over it.

“To what do I owe this displeasure?” Suzy sneered.

“I was just wanted to let you know that you shouldn’t get too comfortable.”

“Is that a threat?”

“A friendly warning,” Sehun said with a malicious lilt in his voice. “I’ve found something…” he said, taking a seat on the lounge beside her. He crossed his legs and stretched his arms across the back of the couch, comfortably settling in. This move was intended to taunt her.

However Suzy remained calm, unaffected by Sehun’s threats. She wasn’t surprised at all that Sehun had managed to find something, whatever that something maybe. She was never careful enough to hide her destructive path. There was always a part of her that wanted to be found, she’d never admit it thought. Confront her about it and Suzy would flat out deny everything. She was different, she was tougher, that was all there was to it she could tell you.

“Tell me then, because with your confidence I highly doubt you’re on the right path.”

Sehun narrowed his eyes and observed the smug look on her face. He began to question himself and his sources even more. What Bae Suzy was hiding was clearly something that had changed her completely. Sehun could barely recognise the girl that chased him around in primary school with a stick. The girl who liked to play in mud and wasn’t afraid to get dirty.

“What happened to you?” Sehun asked out of frustration.

“The library is meant to be a quiet place, if you’ve got nothing worth my time, please leave,” Suzy said not taking her eyes off her book.

Sehun rolled his eyes and left her alone. As he left the library he fished out his phone. “Yeah, it’s me, I need you to speed it up,” he said and hung up just as quick.

***

Soojung wiped the beads of sweat off her forehead and sipped slowly from her water bottle. She had spent the morning running laps around the oval trying to wrap her head around everything. Suzy’s name escaping from her lips sub consciously between breaths. “Bae Suzy, Bae Suzy, Bae Suzy…” she uttered for the umpteenth time.

“You ok?” Choi Jinri approached Soojung from behind.

Soojung yanked her earphones out and slowed down, “Did you say something?” Soojung asked.

“Are you ok? You sounded like you were cursing something.”

Soojung hadn’t realised it till Jinri pointed it out. “I’m fine, just a lot on my mind.”

“Is it Sehun again?” Jinri asked and Soojung shook her head, “Or Jongin?”

Soojung was infamously known for being the only girl that Sehun and Jongin ever really respected. She was the only girl who could talk back to them or tell them what to do. Soojung was the girl that many were jealous of. Until Bae Suzy came back that was. “Neither, surprisingly,” Soojung replied.

“Did you hear that Bae Suzy was at Sehun’s party last night?” Jinri asked, stirring curiosity within. “She was caught kissing a man outside of the club.”

Soojung stopped dead in her tracks, “Who was it?” she asked breathlessly, “Who was she kissing?”

“I’m not sure, it was a bit dark and his face was obscured from the pictures.”

“How do you know this?”

“It’s all over the blast, did you not see it?”

“You know I don’t keep up with that nonsense.”

“Not until you’re on the cover, right, princess?” Jinri teased.

“I’ve got to go,” Soojung dashed across the field, avoiding the lacrosse players and quickly packed her bag. She fished out her phone from her pocket and opened up her email. ‘Oh, what a party…’ the title of the blast read. Soojung scrolled down the images until one caught her eyes. Bae Suzy, it was unmistakable and the other person was someone Soojung hadn’t seen in years and heard of in months.

***

“It was him, Soohyun oppa,” Soojung whispered into Sehun’s ear, careful so that Jongin wouldn’t appear from around the corner and listen in on their conversation.

Sehun nodded, “I saw, he helped her out of the club last night after I terrorised her.”

“Jongin wouldn’t like that,” Soojung warned but there was a bit of glee in her voice. Sehun smiled when he noticed how the corner of her lips twitched just slightly at the thought of Suzy squirming in her dress.

“But you do,” Sehun whispered teasingly into her ear. Soojung pushed him away immediately when she felt a tingle down her spine from his breath. “Anyway,” Sehun said as he let out a heavy sigh, “He dragged her out of the place before I could get in another word edgewise.”

“What did you talk about?”

“Oh she more or less threatened me.”

“Oh Sehun? Threatened?” Soojung laughed.

“She said that finding out what happened to her would hurt me more than it would hurt her.”

“A bit dramatic?”

“Aren’t all of our lives?” Sehun’s voice trails off “How is your father anyway? Have you guys spoken since?”

Soojung isn’t sure if its sarcasm or sincerity with Sehun sometimes. Silence befalls them and Sehun can’t explain the look of pain and anguish in Soojung’s eyes at the mention of her father. “I told you last time I don’t want to talk about it.” Soojung turned her heels away in a huff.

Sehun reached out for her shoulder and squeezed it gently “You know I’m here for you if you need to talk – that’s what friends are for.”

With a gentle pat on her back, Sehun left her quietly leaving her to brace herself.

***

Soojung had in fact always been daddy’s little girl. Her father spoiled her, loved her and gave her everything that she could wish for and more. Soojung had much more loving parents than Suzy ever did. Until recently that was. She remembered it was the eve of her birthday last year. Still reminiscing the days where Suzy would arrive at her front porch with cake and her father’s old bottle of bourbon to celebrate both of their birthdays being in the month of October. This year was different, but it was ok. Her father had promised her a surprise at the start of the month, something extravagant for the only girl in his life (her mother was woman, so it didn’t count). However, he had gone cold days before the date. Her parents kept fighting and so he barely came home. The surprise was beginning to look less likely.

On the eve of her birthday Soojung went downstairs to find a feast but no one to share it with. “Your father said he was busy tonight and couldn’t get home from work, so your mother asked us to organise this and to invite your friends over.”

“Who did you invite?”

“Just Jongin and Sehun, I knew that you would at least want them.” Minyoung their housemaid replied. “Your parents left you a gift,” she said and reached for the blue box with the giant ribbon on it from across the room. She brought it over and Soojung held onto it, her fingers gripping tightly onto the box. So tight that her hand was beginning to turn white. Soojung was used to being spoilt, but of late neither of her parents seemed to care about her existence. “Aish, so much food going to go to waste.” Minyoung uttered beneath her breath as she stared at the table full of vibrant food.

“Who’s left in the house?”

“Just the chefs, some maids and waiters.”

“Call everyone, tell them to come and eat or this food will go to waste tonight.” Soojung said and carried her present up into her room. Tears quickly filled the brim and fell as the door shut

***

“Hey,” Jongin beamed whilst walking towards her. Soojung mustered up a smile and pulled him into a quick embrace. She was shivering which caused Jongin to worry. “Hey, are you ok?” he asked. His hands gently the back of her head, fingers slowly lacing themselves into her hair. Soojung buried her face deeper into the curve of his shoulder.

“Better now that you’re here,” she whispered into the curve of his neck.

“What happened? Was it Sehun? Did he say something? You know he’s only joking right?”

Soojung smirked, her expression changed immediately to one of more confidence. This was something that Jongin was more accustomed. “Please, Sehun could only make me cry if he ever wore that hideous coat from last season’s Calvin Klein again.”

Jongin smiled, “So,” he said, “I came to find you because I had a proposal.”

“Oh yeah? And what might that be?” Soojung asked with enthusiasm.

“I was thinking we’d have a welcome home party for Suzy. I spoke to her mother about it and she said they’d have it at their place this Saturday.”

Soojung’s face turned cold, “What?” she asked in disbelief.

“I know it’s been tense, but why not have a party just to clear the air, to welcome her back and to let her know that we’re still friends.” Soojung rolled her eyes and marched right past him in annoyance. Jongin chased after her, bewildered by her response. “I thought you guys were best friends at one point, why don’t you want to try to fix that?”

“You’re doing an awful lot for a person who lied to you and pretended you didn’t exist for a year.” Soojung fastened her step down the stairs, trying to distance herself from Jongin. She had hoped that he would stop being so persistent about forging their relationship once more.

“You’re not even slightly curious as to why she left?” Jongin asked, “Why are you and Sehun so persistent on giving up without knowing the reason why?”

“I don’t want to know the reason, I don’t want to know her anymore and I’d wish that you’d let go of your love for her long enough to see that she doesn’t care about you. I care about you, Sehun cares about you and we would never abandon you.”

“I know you better than this, Soojung. You always want to know. You’re just being selfish, I’m not surprised.” Jongin huffed. Soojung stormed off and left a trail of dust in her wake.

***

Suzy sat in the back of the classroom, it was the only way she could feel comfortable and not the intensity of 20 pair of eyes staring at the back of her head. It was also the only way she could look out the window, the beautiful scenery there to distract her. It was the last lesson of the day and the last half an hour went by slowly. “The relationship between Elizabeth and Jane is a long running one within the story. It’s often overlooked for the main romances between Bingley and Jane as well as Darcy and Elizabeth’s romance. However we see that regardless of their romances highs and lows, they stay true and honest with each other. It’s definitely a relationship many of you should look into for your paper.”

“Do you think, that if Elizabeth and Jane both fell for Darcy would their relationship have changed?”

Suzy cocked her head to the side. It was Soojung that had just inquired leaving their teacher baffled. “What do you think?” their teacher asked.

“I think that women are too often pitted against each other in the world over materialistic things. Why are we as women taught to aspire to marriage whilst we teach boys to aspire for wealth and fame? Why couldn’t Elizabeth and Jane not sit down and have a civil talk about their feelings instead of hiding it from one another till they simply implode on themselves?” The room remained silent and all eyes were now fixed on Suzy who had sat at the back of the classroom just to avoid this.

“What’s the point in talking? We all know that Elizabeth would’ve had too much pride to ever admit she’d have feelings for Darcy, and should Jane have had been the first to initiate should Darcy not belong to her?” Soojung replied

“Jane wouldn’t of have had owned Darcy anymore than Elizabeth--”

“Alright, Suzy, Soojung, I appreciate your enthusiasm but this has nothing to do with the topic and it’s all hypothetical, so there’s no need to get worked up over this. Plus, I think everyone would like to be dismissed on time so I’d really like to explain your homework so you can do just that.”

Suzy noticed Soojung from the corner of her eye, the girl glared at her with so much intensity. Suzy just turned her head back towards the giant Redwood trees outside.

She wished she was there.

***

“My, my, Soohyun oppa,” Chorong taunted him with her rosy smile. The girl twirled her hair around her finger and bit on her bottom lip. “You’re not going to tell him are you?”

Soohyun chuckled, rolled his eyes and leaned back against the stone wall of the balcony. He rests his drink on the ledge, and peered over the horizon at the glistening rooftops and the pools filled with sparkling blue water than ran for miles. He was definitely in a different world right now, but not out of his comfort zone. Soohyun always believed he was meant to live a life like this and he was more determined than ever to secure it for himself.

Chorong sauntered over, with a devilish smirk on her lips. “You know there’s a reason why Jongin’s the favourite sibling don’t you?”

“Yeah, it’s because society has taught you to judge a person based purely on what’s between their legs and their appearance.” Chorong fished out a cigarette from her jacket and brought it to her lips and offered one to Soohyun.

He contemplated her reply “No, because he’s not being a pain the in the all the time.”

Chorong shrugged her shoulders and rested her elbows on the ledge beside Soohyun. The two observed the sun setting over the horizon, embracing the summer breeze and inhaling smoke into their lungs. “Don’t hate me because I make you question your morals.”

“My conscience is clear, at least clearer than yours.”

“So why don’t you tell him? Tell him how you kissed the girl he’s liked for years now.”

“I thought that was Soojung, his girlfriend.”

“Ah Soohyun, you’re supposed to be the smart one in this family,” Chorong jested.

Soohyun’s smirk remained etched on his lips, Chorong was right, he would have to mention it and Jongin finding out from Soohyun was better than Jongin finding out from Chorong. “You’re always one to pick a fight aren’t you?”

“I am my father’s daughter,” Chorong sighed. “Cold, calculative…”

“A .”

“Should I tell my father you called him a ?”

“You want me to hurt your brother’s feelings?”

Chorong patted Soohyun on the shoulder, “Harden him up then, will you?” she rolled her eyes and walked away, heels clapping on the ground as she walked. Soohyun cursed into the wind when she was finally out of earshot.

***

The phone sent of vibrations and shifted slowly till it teetered near the edge of the table. Sehun picked up his phone and brought it to his ears. “Talk to me,” he said into the phone. He picked up the pile of envelopes left on the table for him and slowly sorted through each letter—invitations after invitations for events, days—hours apart from each other.

‘You are cordially invited to a special brunch in order to celebrate the coming home of Korea’s Sweetheart, Bae Suzy at the Bae Mansion.

Saturday the 17^th of March 2014

11:30AM

We look forward to seeing you there in your best, vibrant dress.’

“Who told you?” Sehun asked, “That guy? Get me his address – I’m going to need to confirm this for myself.”

“Do it,” she taunted with her deep gaze. “It’ll hurt you more than it hurt me.” Sehun remembered it and suddenly he could feel the blood beneath his skin boiling. He clicked his phone and tossed it aside angrily.

“,” he cursed out loud, hands running through his wet hair furiously.

Sehun scrunched up the piece of paper and tossed it aside.