Baozi has basically stopped talking to me; he’s worse than me when I was isolating myself. He won’t answer my message whatsoever and it’s not like I can bombard him with emails and voicemails; I don’t have any of that information. Whatever, personally I find it creepy that he has a crush on me when he’s never met me in person... or at least I’ve never met him in person and this is all really confusing. But lately Faerin’s been saying I should be more like her; so if I want to do that, what I should be thinking now is, is Baozi cute in person?

I sigh and grab my sketchbook from my locker, only to a have a bunch of loose papers fall out. Mainly scrap pages and a couple tests I’ve yet to take home; and then one that I hadn’t seen, a note in a red envelope.

Seeing you smile makes my heart dance,

Is there any way you’ll give me a chance?

Who I am is not important, for I am only an admirer

If only you’ll open up to me, your heart is what I desire

Aww that’s kind of cute, in a slightly erted way… I tuck the papers back in my locker and head off to the cafeteria.

~

“So Reily, have you found a date for the May Masquerade yet?” Minseok asks drawing my attention back; I’d just been spacing out about something completely unrelated and would much rather be focusing on that then the Masquerade.

“No”

“You’re pretty, I’m sure there are lots of guys who’d go with you” he says smiling.

“It takes more than that to earn a guy; there’s an element of trust as well” I say fully aware of the bitterness entering my tone.

“That’s true but still—”

“Still, I’m not emotionally ready for a relationship” I interrupt him, focusing on my sketch; I was drawing Siwon’s face in the best detail I could and currently adding wounds.

“Reily, can I talk to you?” Toa asks, nudging me.

“What’s up?”

“Alone” he says leading off to a quieter area.

“Is something wrong?” I ask sitting down against the wall in the empty hallway.

“I should be asking you, you’ve been spacing out a lot and I’m worried” he says sitting beside me.

“I’m fine, okay” I say leaning against his shoulder. Who am I kidding? I’m not fine, I just have to let it go and move on with my life.

“You don’t sound fine” Thanks captain obvious. Tao leans his head against mine; I close my eyes. My head throbs, but in my mind I can see myself happy. I often wish I had the courage to be the