•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

Hyukjae’s hands were trembling as he stepped down from his car. He had to buy one because he didn’t have anyone else to take him wherever he wished anymore and that made him feel lonely every second he stayed in there. He breathed in and out deeply, closing his eyes. He felt the air fill his lungs and he smiled. It was perfect.

He was discharged after two months after the surgery and his father had taken care of him getting his old job, though he promised to let Kyuhyun work for him as well. “He has a nice curriculum, anyway,” Kangin had said before.

Hyukjae was feeling great. Greater than ever. He hadn’t imagine how good it felt to not feel pain at all and his body felt light. He didn’t get sick often and he was starting to exercise little by little. He still had to take pills every morning, just to make sure his body wouldn’t attack his new bone marrow and he had to take them for the rest of his life.

It didn’t matter. Hyukjae was fine with just taking pills.

There were still high risks. The period of time for his transplant to consider itself successful could go from six months to five years. But his body was accepting it and the doctors had good prognosis about it.

Sighing deeply and closing his eyes again, Hyukjae could feel his heartbeat against his chest and his legs and arms getting dumb. He had waited a whole year for that exact day and he couldn’t sleep properly the last two weeks because he was nervous and anxious. He couldn’t wait.

He opened his eyes and looked up. It was an old planetarium. Hyukjae was sure it still worked but he also knew no one was interested in those anymore.

He was trembling as he walked closer and he looked at his watch. We have time. He smiled softly, sighing deeply before opening the main door and poking his head inside. He was two hours early and he remembered Kyuhyun telling him it was at that exact time but he couldn’t sleep the night before and he couldn’t help himself but drive there.

Hyukjae didn’t want to be late.

No one was in there and all the lights were turned off. The only thing that illuminated the big room as the big slot on the roof.

It was almost ten at night and Hyukjae couldn’t keep himself calm. Just an hour.

He closed his eyes and tried to breathe in and out deeply, hugging his body because he suddenly felt really cold.

After a few minutes, Hyukjae decided he should sit down. He chose a special spot so he could see the entrance, just in case Kyuhyun came in and didn’t see him sitting there.

He was anxious. He was terrified. He didn’t know what to feel anymore.

Hyukjae wanted to tell Kyuhyun so many things that he couldn’t stand it anymore. He wanted to hug the other, to kiss him and to go out on a new adventure by his side.

The time was running too quickly and too slow. Hyukjae couldn’t decide if he wanted the time to come or if he wanted to keep waiting. We don’t have time. He shook his head, looking at his watch.

Eleven o’clock.

Panic was starting to build in Hyukjae’s body. He felt his legs giving up and he stood up, looking around. “Kyuhyun?!” he yelled, his voice echoing in the huge space. He wasn’t afraid of ghosts or someone doing something to him being alone.

He was afraid of Kyuhyun not showing up.

“Kyuhyun!” Hyukjae screamed, feeling his eyes already stinking with tears. “Kyuhyun…,” he whispered.

His voice was echoing, making him feel lonelier than he already was.

“Kyu… please…,” Hyukjae begged.

He had checked the hour, the day and the direction for at least three times every day since a month ago. He was sure he was in the right place. But why was Kyuhyun not there?

11:15 pm.

Hyukjae stood up, walking around the room to see if he could find anything. A clue, maybe. There was nothing.

12:00 am.

Hyukjae bit his lower lip, tears were forming in his eyes but he refused to let them go. “He’ll come…,” he convinced himself.

01:00 am.

Hyukjae’s heart couldn’t stop.

2:37 am.

“Lee Hyukjae?”

Hyukjae looked up, feeling his heart sank when he saw a male that wasn’t Kyuhyun. “Y-Yes?”

“Ah…,” the old man smiled and walked towards him. “He told me you would be stubborn and wait longer than he told you so,” he said as he stood in front of Hyukjae.

Hyukjae opened his eyes. “Kyuhyun?” he asked. “Do you know where is him? What is he doing?”

The man flinched slightly at the questions and shook his head. “I’m sorry young man,” he said apologetically. “A year ago, he gave me this to give it to you, I’ve been waiting a year to pay for the favor he once did to me.”

Hyukjae looked at the small envelope the man was taking out and he held it firmly when the other handed it to him. “T-Thanks…,” he mumbled, looking how violently his hands were shaking, holding the small paper sheet in his hands.

The man smiled and nodded. “It’s really late for someone to be here, please come back and stay safe,” he said. “He looked really worried about you.”

Hyukjae nodded absent minded. His eyes were glued to the small note handwritten outside.

To: My love, Hyukjae.

From. His slave, Kyuhyun.

Hyukjae looked up and just nodded slowly to whatever the man told him. He looked at him leave the room and he sat down, letting his legs give up on him before slowly unfolding the letter.

He was scared. He was terrified. A letter instead of Kyuhyun wasn’t good, he knew it.

He didn’t want to start reading but he couldn’t help his eyes from admiring Kyuhyun’s neat handwriting. He wanted to know what it said so much and at the same time he wanted to throw it away.

At the end, end even if Hyukjae didn’t want to accept it, he knew he would read it anyway.

Hyukjae, how long has it been since we met each other? To the moment you read this letter, is probably a year and some months. A year… I can’t believe you waited for me for so long… I’m sorry to let you know it wasn’t worth it.

            I didn’t know what to do to make you feel happy. I can’t believe I made you wait for so long when at the end, I wouldn’t come back. I’m sorry.

            Long time ago, a few years back from when we met each other, I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. Don’t be scared, it wasn’t cancer. But it was suppressing important areas of my brain that were vital for me to live. Doctors told me it couldn’t be extirpated surgically because it was too big and the only thing I had left, was to wait for it to kill me.          It didn’t, for a few years.

            I never cared about a tumor. I didn’t feel anything. Nothing hurt and I could live normally. Sometimes I even doubted I had it. But it grew… faster than expected. I was meant to live for another twenty years perfectly fine. Apparently, the tumor decided against it and by the time the doctors realized, I had met you already.

            I was selfish. I didn’t want to leave your side. You made me happy, you probably still do.

            Believe me, Hyukjae, when I tell you that there’s nothing I want more than make you happy, just as much as you made me. I loved seeing your smile. I loved the way you would unconsciously hold my hand and how you looked for me as soon as something was exciting. I loved the way you leaned against my body when you were tired. Though you hated it, I loved your weak body. I liked being the one you depended on. I liked being so important for you.

            When you asked me to take you around and show you what life was, I decided I would offer you my biggest fantasies. Truth is, you were one of them ever since a few days after I met you.

            I sent Changmin, and a few other friends to take care of you in my absence. Some, you might have noticed, others you probably didn’t. (Changmin is an idiot, I’m sorry he can’t be discreet).

            I met a neurosurgeon in Germany. He said he was trying a new technique to remove the tumors partially. The technique consisted in taking a little bit of it every month, but too many surgeries had its own risk and I could die in the third one. The tumor could also react and grow after being manipulated and it would mean I would be unable to breathe or my heart would stop at once. I wondered a lot if I should go to him or not and at the end, I decided I wanted to take the risk to live and stay with you forever. Did you know that was my wish when we let go of those lanterns?

            If you’re reading this note, it means I didn’t get to be by your side. It means it’s late and you have to come back home, sleep well, keep yourself warm, drink a lot of water and start looking for a new slave.

            Hyukjae… I want you to know that I love you, and that there was nothing I wanted more than being by your side and have you in my arms. You have no idea how much I regret taking too long in stealing a kiss from you… or even confessing… I was a fool… but I don’t regret it. I loved every second I was by your side.

            So now, when you finish reading this letter, I want you to close your eyes, breathe in and out deeply, look up and offer the world your beautiful smile, and promise me, that you’ll be fine after a minute.

            I love you, Hyukjae. So much that my heart hurts just knowing you could be reading this letter.

Take care. Don’t wait for me any longer.

I love you.

Yours forever, Kyuhyun.

Hyukjae shook his head, the sheet was already soaked in tears but he didn’t care. He shook his head. “No…,” he mumbled, feeling the knot in his throat making him unable to even breathe. “No, Kyuhyun…,” he leaned down against his own knees, shaking his head furiously. “No…,” he said louder. “No! Kyuhyun!”

He expected Kyuhyun to arrive and tell him it wasn’t real.

Don’t wait for me any longer.

Hyukjae wasn’t going to listen to Kyuhyun.

And promise me, that you’ll be fine after a minute.

“No,” Hyukjae said determined, clenching the letter in his hands and shaking his head.

07:00 am.

Hyukjae couldn’t stop himself crying, even if he wanted to, waiting for Kyuhyun who never came. He was exhausted, but he didn’t care. He was going to wait. He wasn’t going to listen to Kyuhyun.

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

Hyukjae looked at his watch and closed his eyes. It had been 30 hours since the exact date. The tears couldn’t be stopped and he wished he could get back in time to wait for Kyuhyun again. Maybe that way he would appear. Hyukjae shook his head and pressed the letter against his chest as he stood up.

He was giving up.

He felt his chest tight and his legs giving up. His eyes hurt from so much crying. He wanted to die. What was the point of having a life if you couldn’t live it?

Hyukjae walked to the entrance, dragging his feet, crying loudly for himself. It didn’t matter anymore. Kyuhyun is gone. “No…,” he shook his head, trying to erase the thoughts from his mind but not being able to do so.

We have time.

Kyuhyun lied.

Hyukjae was trembling, letting his tears fall down his cheeks as he dragged his exhausted body to the exit.

He stopped as he heard someone panting. He was just steps away from the entrance and he felt his heart stopping as he looked down at the shoes. He took his eyes up slowly, too scared to realize who it was.

“…Hyukjae…”

Hyukjae cried loudly, letting go of everything he had in his hands to the floor, covering his mouth to let go of his loud sobs. The man was resting against the door’s frame, panting heavily. His brown strands of hair were sticking against his sweaty forehead and his dark eyes were looking right to him.

Hyukjae had decided to leave. It would have taken a minute to not find him there. Only one minute for him to leave. Hyukjae looked up and smiled relieved, throwing his body towards the other, inhaling the other’s scent and savoring the way the taller’s arms wrapped around his waist desperately.

And promise me, that you’ll be fine after a minute.

“Kyuhyun…”

Because we have time.

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•●•

The End