Chapter 48: Drink Me

The day is wasted.

As days usually are in the Son mansion.

Naeun pretends to be reading her book in the library as Minho watches over her. She sat haphazardly on the armchair, feet dangling off  the hand rest; firmly planted on the small cushion. She could care less about her skirt riding up her thigh. It was just Minho after all.  It was an encyclopaedia of plants that she was reading, but really, all Naeun was doing was studying the old-school illustrations and noting the poisonous plants.

“Are you really going to stare lasers at me all day?” She asked aloud as she turned a page. She didn’t need to look at Minho to know the other heard her.

“Well… you seem like the type to jump into a book just as well as you would into a bathtub.”

“Mwo? Naeun in Wonderland? I wish.” She laughed.

“You do look like you’re at the wrong end of the looking glass.” He muttered out loud and Naeun turned to him, a lazy smile graced her lips.

“You’re getting better at this humour thing.”

“Thank you, miss.”

“Don’t ever call me miss.”

“Yes, miss.”

“Such sass… it’s a wonder Kai hasn’t kicked you out yet.” Minho flashed her smile, in between crazy and evil. He was always so dapper and composed and Naeun wondered how long it took to style his hair that perfectly every day. She deduced that he surely went to bed looking that flawless to.

“Who else could keep him sane in this house?”

“That makes two of us.” Naeun piqued and raised an eyebrow at him questioningly before opening again.

“Don’t they have any Shakespeare?” She asked again, grinning into her book.

“I don’t think you should read those.”

Kai does not come home that night and Naeun is alone when dinner is served. The maids served her a plethora of side dishes, all colourful and vaguely tasting like her mother's cooking. She thanked the maids and sent Minho a look.

“Aren’t you going to sit? They served you rice as well.” Naeun pointed out to Minho who lingered in the shadows but still remained standing.

“I’m still on shift.”

“Just sit down and eat. Don’t be uptight, the rice will get cold.”

“Yes, Maam.” He grinned knowingly and took a seat opposite Naeun.

“You know I hate the formalities.”

“Exactly why I like doing it.” He said.

They continued to eat silently and even though she preferred Minho to be seated than brooding in the corner, she couldn’t help but feel alone in the cold house. She wondered if her mother felt this way. Alone yet surrounded by so many people. Naeun knew she wasn’t enough for her mother.

She wasn’t enough for anyone.

The thought of her mother made her queasy and she put down her spoon.

“Are you full already?” Minho turned to her, mouth full of half chewed rice.

“Yeah… I feel sick. I think I’ll retire early.”

“Get some rest.” He nodded, gulping the last of his food. Minho then accompanied Naeun to her room, all quiet and fidgety and she knew he was more careful and scared of her spontaneous moves. She could descend the whole house into chaos, but she knew it wasn’t the time to do so.

She felt achingly hot and she changed into a silk nightgown that looked like a reincarnated kimono. She opened the windows and even the winter breeze didn’t cool her flushed skin. Tossing and turning, eventually getting tangled in the heavy sheets, she pulled away from the bed and sat crossed leg on the floor. She let out a heated breath and turned towards the door, turning the door knob and stumbling out before she even realised what she was doing.

Minho stood in the hall, his posture changed when Naeun stumbled into the hallway, quite frankly looking like a mess. He was still in his immaculate suit, though his eyes were a little bit weary and his hair kinda flopped from its original shape, not that he didn’t look good. Minho always looked good.

“Do you need anything?” He steadied her, hand lightly on her shoulders and waist. She pulled back quickly and he retreated to leaning against the wall. The awkward space between them seemed to grow.

“Let’s go out.”

“What?” He asked, eyebrows knitting into confusion, not really sure he heard her right.

“To Hangang.”

“It’s 2 a.m.” He said that as if it could deter her. He should know her better.

 Nothing deterred Naeun.

Even devilishly handsome bodyguards who said no.

“Perfect. This is the perfect time.” Naeun smiled widely, madly.

“Oh come on, Minho! I haven’t been to Hangang in so long. Oh please! Kai said you would take me anywhere!” She whined, clinging onto his arm now. She couldn’t stand being in this house for one more moment.

“Yeah… I’m pretty sure he meant like shopping in Gangnam and eat or whatever. Most definitely not getting drunk at 2 a.m. by the Han river.” He scoffed and looked at her doubtfully.

“Kai doesn’t have to know.” Naeun said quietly.

“Excuse me?” He sounded bewildered.

“Please Minho, just tell him later.”

“I don’t think this is appropriate. Kai will think you’ll try to jump into the river or worse…”

“Oh Minho, I promise I won’t make any Hamlet sequels. I just really can’t sleep and I can’t breathe. I hate this house. Please.” Naeun’s voice sounded too small for her and Minho slowly gave in to her pleas, all hesitation vanishing at the sight of her glossy eyes.

“Just one hour okay?”

“Yes, of course.” Naeun’s face lit up with a smile and for a moment Minho’s heart swelled at the sight. Just for a moment.

Naeun and Minho quietly slipped out through the backdoor, the house was quiet, not a peep out of the rooms. No one’s ever home, Naeun didn’t need to doubt it. She knew it all too well. The Son’s were a large collective of work obsessed, reclusive, egotistical bigots. They were well known and well dressed and excessively polite.

 But they were all loners in this family.

Naeun wondered if her brother was asleep in Soojung’s arm, or perhaps in the office working late. She would like to think the former, for all his shortcomings, she knew that handling the company had detrimental effects on his health. But somehow in her heart, she knew he would be doing the latter.

And she knew how much she tried, she would always care.

Minho parked the black sedan under a bridge she didn’t know, and the car remained hidden in the shadows. They walked along the path for a while before discovering a 24 hour convenience store. Naeun didn’t even say anything before dragging an unwilling Minho towards it. The bell rang when she pushed the door open, the cashier didn’t even lift his head up.

Naeun went towards the drinks immediately, picking a pack of beer and a few bottles of soju. She also riffled around for sweets, gummy bears and jellies whilst Minho looked on, amused by her erratic behavior. When she dumped it all onto the counter, she turned to stare innocently to Minho; eyes unabashed and lips pouty.

“What?”

“Kai said you have one of his credit cards.”

“If he asks why he got charged for booze at 2 a.m I’m directing him to you, okay?” Minho said gruffly, taking out his wallet from the back pocket of his pants. Naeun flashed him a dazzling smile and she gratefully took the black plastic bag.

“I owe you one.”

“You owe me loads.” He replied.

They found a spot by the river, Naeun sat crossed legged on the bench. She opened a bottle of soju and Minho took a seat next to her, wondering what kind of hell he was going to be in when Kai finds out.

Not a pretty one. He finished the thought when Naeun took a lengthy chug of the alcohol.

“Ahhh.” She sighed in satisfaction.

She turned to Minho, green bottle glinting dangerously in the moonlight. A street lamp shone nearby but it was blocked by the dense foliage, so it made them sit in the pale ghostly light. Leaf patterns occasionally appearing on Naeun's thighs. She wore that lazy smile he hated, but secretly loved. She was always high it seemed, even more so than Kai sometimes. In that moment, Minho knew he had to change his CV from bodyguard to babysitter of people who never grew up.

 He dismissed the thought - it was too long and ungainly.

“Want some?”

“I’m driving, Naeun. Don’t tempt me.”

“Are you tempted?” Her smile grew wider, like a Cheshire cat’s. Her lips were wet, beckoning.

Perhaps they really were on the wrong side of the looking glass.

Naeun continued to get drunk, alternating between beer and soju until she ran out of soju.  She also ate gummy sweets in between. Minho chewed on a packet of sour sweets and grimaced when the taste hit him, puckering his lips in distaste. She laughed at him and continued her rant about how misogynistic it was that she wasn’t heir. Not that that was the real reason she wasn’t.

By technicality, Son Naeun did not exist. For a minute he felt pity.

But Naeun didn’t deserve pity.

She was strong and proud… reckless and brave…

And she was puking on the side of the railing when he snapped out of his reverie.

“Ah , Kai’s going to murder me.” He groaned as he pulled her hair away from her face.  She gagged out all of the alcohol and wiped with the sleeve of her coat. Which Minho noted a little bit too late, was too thin for the weather. She was shivering when he pulled his blazer around her.

“Are you happy now?” He asked sharply, and through the haze of alcohol, her eyes stared up defiantly against his. Even though they were rimmed with tears, he could feel the pain and hate smoldering within her.

“Yes.” She lied through her teeth.

“Good. Time’s up.” He stood and tried to pull Naeun up with him but she remained stubbornly seated on the cold pavement, eyes unmoving on the water that lapped softly in the Han River. The lights were always too bright here, but she knew under the bridges and the hidden corners were people in their own realms, all the same, all trying to run away but for a minute from the world.

“Do you believe rainbows really have ends?”

“No. Come on, Naeun.” He tapped on his arm impatiently.

“My mom used to say that to herself. I thought it was a question for me. But really she was just trying to delude herself that there would be an end to her pain. As if all the glitter and the gold and sparkles stopped. She reached the end of her rainbow and found nothing but the rope to hang herself.” She was trying hard to hold back the sobs now, voice thick with sadness.

And that was when Minho really took pity on her.

She was one of those girls they would write songs about, the perfect muse to those hippies and indie bands.  Always half drenched in her own tears and saturated with dreams to near to death.

He kneeled down to her so that she could bury her face into his chest. He held her as she broke and her hair and whispered sweet nothings to calm her down. Maybe part of him remained insincere but the other part of him saw a reflection of Kai in Naeun. And he could not stop himself when she pulled at his shirt, sobbing and hiccup-ping. Kai had been just the same when Naeun left.               

Minho sighed sadly, not just babysitter – therapist, shrink, drinking buddy, driver, handy man.

The last one because he was always having to piece these people back up again.

“You princesses are such royal pain in the asses.” He said out loud. Naeun looked up at him, blinking back tears, not really processing what he meant.

“Princesses?”

“You and Kai.”

Naeun’s face cracked into a smile and a soft laugh and Minho closed his eyes for a moment because he didn’t want to be blinded by the sheer brilliance of this beautiful broken girl.

When Minho tried to quietly sneak back into the house with a passed out Naeun in his arms, he was caught red-handed by Kai who was still wearing his business suit with a cup of warm milk in his hand. Naeun lolled her head to the side, muttering something drunkenly in French. Her head almost hit the door and her hanging feet almost knocked over a crystal vase.

Kai looked half amused and half horrified. But most of all, he looked like a mess. He opened his mouth but pursed his lips and waved Minho away.

“Later.” He mouthed to the tall man as he maneuvered Naeun out the kitchen.

Minho tucked Naeun into bed as best as he could. She still gripped his lapels tightly and fluttered her eyes open. He pried away her fingers and she finally gave in to sleep, comforted by the softness of the pillow and the lull of la la land.

“We’re all mad here.” She said murmured into the pillow and Minho chuckled. Naeun was absurd even in her sleep.

“I’ll try my best. I swear it. To protect you from this madness.”

Minho whispered, he wanted to tuck her hair back but he resisted and went out of the room.

Naeun does not remember much of last night’s events; she does remember the lights and sounds of Hangang. But all she knows now is that her head is pounding and is on fire. She lets out a groan when she lifts her head up. The clock is blinking 12:45 and Naeun slumped back into her pillow. She lifted her head up though when she catch a glimpse of a glass of water on her bedside table. She downs it along with the hangover pills and made a mental note to thank Minho for indulging her last night. Maybe for awhile, just awhile she actually wanted to go down that rabbit hole.

There is a small card on the side table as well.

It read:

Why is a raven like a writing desk?

Naeun does not know the answer and ponders for a moment. She gives up after 10 minutes, but she is sure it is from Minho. She could almost hear him laugh at the end of the sentence.

Then there is a knock at her door, she is still groggy and unstable when she answered the door but she is thankful when it isn’t Kai or Minho or anyone worse. The maid looked her up and down with a skeptical eye and pushed a cart into the room without a word. It was laden with a scrumptious looking brunch, she fixed a pot of tea that smelled of jasmine, honey and passion fruit. Naeun pulled her hair back into a messy bun before another maid walked in with suit cover.

“What’s that for?” Naeun asked.

“Madame wants you to be ready by 5 this afternoon.” The maid answered, clipped and short. The staff must be gossiping about her. When the maid pulled out a slip of a black dress from the covers, Naeun almost choked on her tea.

“What the hell is that for?!”

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A/N: I just finished writing this about like midday? But then soo many things happened so I'm sorry for the late post guys!

       Editing takes so much time guys TT

      And I spent like the last hour deciding which version of Limitless to buy. Don't you just hate it when they make so many versions??? smh

     Editor-nim says I've fallen too hard for NCT. What can I say? Can't a girl fall in love?

P.S- Did you notice all the Alice in Wonderland references? I did it all unconsciously !