Chapter 28: Commit

Naeun realised that there was just so much she couldn't do.
And so much she couldn't be.

But things were different.

She didn't want to be the one to wait for him. She didn't want to be the one who made no effort.

But she also had no idea how to start.

So as she paced in front of Myungsoo's university gates with no idea what her excuse was, she panicked.

What was she going to say?

“Naeun!” She froze. 
She turned around and saw Hoya who was clutching a large binder.

“What are you doing here? Eunji's having lunch with some friends.”

“Right I knew that… I was just in the neighbourhood and I totally forgot.”

Hoya grinned, his Chesire cat grin.

“Myungsoo's class is about to end. I'm sure he'll be here any minute now…”

“I'm not here-”

“Hoya!”
Naeun cursed under her breath.

Myungsoo stopped short when he saw Naeun there and a smile broke out from his face.

“Naeun. Are you here to see Hoya?”

Hoya face palmed himself.

“Are you kidding me? Of course she's here to see you.” He laughed sarcastically, pushing Naeun to Myungsoo slightly.

Slightly meaning Myungsoo literally had to catch her.Naeun blushed and turned to glare at Hoya but he was already long gone.

“Geez… that guy.”

Myungsoo chuckled and took her hand. “Well… I'm here now.”

“I had a free afternoon, I thought maybe we could catch a movie or eat pizza or something. It's not the Garnier theatre or some fancy restaurant but I wanted to spend some time with you.”

“I would like that. Maybe we can be a normal couple.”

“Surely you know you're too extraordinary to be normal.”

“You're weird too Naeun.” He chuckled, slinging a hand around her shoulders naturally.

“Glad you know it.”

They took the metro to where they watched a comedy and Naeun couldn't stop laughing and Myungsoo couldn't help smiling. 
He would die smiling.

They shared popcorn and he was surprised how easily he found her hand his even inside a bag of popcorn. 
He was also surprised how naturally she touched him now, without restraint or fear. She didn't pull away anymore.

And he couldn't contain himself from being happy or slightly curious.

They ended up eating pizza near Montmartre, opposite the Moulin Rouge. It's red windmill glowing like a beacon. Attracting tourists like moths to a flame. A very passionate flame.

Naeun absentmindedly ate her pizza, the cheese stretching in long patterns, she knew it was seriously unhealthy. But she didn't care

“Earth to Naeun…”

“I'm sorry… I drifted off a bit there.” Naeun said, taking a sip of her coke.

“You've been gone for 10 minutes.”
“I was just thinking.You know… we still don't know that much about each other.”

“Oh yeah? What else is there to know about me?”

“Tell me about your family.”

“I'm the third child of Han Seunghwa and Kim Eunghwan. I have 2 older brother I really wish I didn't have, Sunggyu and Woohyun. There's also Antoinette my cat and she's the most patient one of all.”

“Ahh… no wonder you didn't get along with Lady… you're a cat person.” She thought back about how terrible he was with Lady.

“You seem like an everything person.” He said.

“On the contrary… I'm not a people person.”

“It's a good think I'm not human.” He replied and she chuckled.

“What about you? You don't talk about your family either.”

“My mother died when I was young as you know. My father remarried and my step mom already had a son before the marriage.”

“You have a stepbrother?”

“Y-Yes… but I moved out of home at young age and it's been awhile. You can say I've only had Eunji after that. She's my family.”

“Was it hard? Moving away at such away a young age?” He asked, softly tracing circles on her palms.

“It was at the start… but I didn't belong there. I felt like I was intrusive of my father and his new family.”

“You sound like you don't miss him.”

“He was so absent from my life that he gave me no reason to miss him. Even now.”

“You grew up alone?” He asked, his eyes seeking the answer in hers.

“I grew up with the warmth from the people around me. They weren't my family but it was fine. I'm fine.” She assured him, though he wasn't all convince.

“I'm fine.” She squeezed his hand, not meeting his eyes.

“You have me.” He peeked up, much to her amusement.

“Exactly. I have you.” She laughed, her sweet laugh bringing everything to life.

“Tell me more… I want to know as well.”

“Hmm… let's see… there's not much to tell… I'm quite boring.”

“I find you entertaining.”

“You just happen to have bad taste.” she stuck her tongue out. “Fine… let's see…” She dug around her bag and then when she finally found it she gave it to him.

“These are your pills.”

“Correct. But these aren't just any pills. They are my pills for when I have anxiety attacks.”

“I don't understand.” He looked at her in confusion.

“I want you to keep them.”

“Naeun.” Myungsoo's voice was only a whisper, but there it was. a voice pleading and empathising, so real and gentle that it made her shiver.

“I've been so reliant on them. They've been my only way to cope with my past But I realised that I don't need them anymore and my body doesn't need them anymore.”

“I can't possibly hold this. This is important.”

“No. Not anymore. Because Kim Myungsoo… you've become my coping mechanism.”

“Naeun mon coeur… I hate to break it to you but you're being ridiculous.” Myungsoo said, putting the bottle into her hands.

“Yah!” she hit him on the arm.

“I'm joking! This is possibly the most nicest think someone has ever done for me.But I still think you're being ridiculous.” He laughed, pulling her close to kiss the top of her head adoringly.

“When I was 17… the depression sunk in. My mother was dead and I was alone, it was a dark time in my life that still haunts me.”

The had finished and now there was only crumbs. Myungsoo got up to pay but Naeun beat him to it, handing the cashier some euros.

“Must you hurt my guy pride?”

“You know how I enjoy making you squirm besides, I wanted to pay.” She smiled cockily.

“I'll let it go this time.” He said tersely before walking off into the street, and Naeun had to chase him slightly to make sure he wasn't too offended.

“You're soo childish.” Naeun pouted as she caught his hand. An awkward silence filled the air and Naeun noticed how his lips twitched as if wanting to say something.

They were walking up the many stairs of Montmartre in the dark light and cold wind..

“When I was 10…” He began unsurely.“When I was 10, I hid in my father's office and I caught him kissing his secretary. He didn't see me of course. But I was shocked.”

“Did you tell anyone?”

“I told Woohyun and Sunggyu. But they didn't say react… because they already knew. Yet they did nothing. They knew my father was cheating but said nothing, because they were going to inherit the business. Who knows? Maybe when they come into power they would do the same thing to their wives.”

“You said nothing?”

“My mother is frail… no matter how much I wanted to tell her, no matter how easily I could've let it slip: I didn't. I was too afraid that she would not be able to take it.”

“So you live with that burden?”

“I have no choice but to live with the burden. I must endure, so that my family can endure, so that my brothers can endure. So that the Kim conglomerate endures.”

“That sounds depressing.”

“It should. It's the Kim family motto. Even the gods have burdens. Even the gods endure.” He recited monotonously, whist touching the ring on his finger that was engraved in Latin. Britannorum etiam deos ferunt sarcinas. Pati etiam deos​

“We are merely human. Our hearts should never bear a gods burden. Humans are more fragile than we would like to admit. Even you Kim Myungsoo. Even me.”

“I don't think I've ever met someone as wise as you.” He smiled to his shoes.

“Surely that's a lie.” She rolled her eyes .

“It's true! I'm surrounded by idiots.”

“The feeling’s mutual.”

“I'm sorry… it became rather sombre rather quickly didn't it? I told you, I'm not a people person.”

“No it was about time. We're not teenagers. I wanted you to know. Thank you for today. For telling me. For being so honest with me.”

It began to drizzle, the red lights blurred into bokeh lights.

"It's raining... are you okay?"

"Thank you for worrying, I'm fine. As long as there's no thunder or lightning, But that shouldn't matter, I have you."

"You do."

“Paris is so pretty in the rain.” She closed her eyes, letting the rain soak through her thin blouse.

“Like you. But then you're pretty all the time.” He complimented her; throwing a jacket over her shoulders.

“Don’t tell me you're going to say some other cliched line like... be mine?”

“Naeun… Nekkohaja.” Myungsoo said dramatically lowering his voice.

She burst out into laughter and pushed him away playfully.

“I think even my toes are curling.”

“I don’t need you to be mine. You own yourself Naeun. Maybe that's why I love you so much. No one could possibly own a soul so bright and I don't want you to be mine.”

“I don’t want you to be mine either. I want you to be you, with me.” She said, her fingers curling into his, their hair wet from the rain, his shirt turning a shade darker.

“I want you to be with me. I want you to love me, like how I love you.”

“I love you too. That's my cliched line.” She smiled up to him, lighting up Paris itself. Clutching his shoulders, she tiptoed to kiss him and is hands in turn tangled into her wet curls, deepening the chaste kiss into something more. He knew that with her it would always be more with her. So much more. 

But isn't life so wonderfully clichéd?

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A/N : I really should be studying.... Lol but I really am not motivated to do so...

      Some comments would be encouraging !!!!  ;)