I’m here for you, too, Mirai.

For once, Ryosuke was grateful he did not say that out loud, that Mirai did not know the promise he uttered in his heart. For once, he was thankful that he knew there was Kanata on her side. It was still painful knowing the one who would comfort her, who would brush her tears off her cheeks, who would deliver encouraging words, was not him, yet he could not help but refrain from feeling jealous. He did not have the right to feel that way for now, did he? He was not able to do anything when she needed help. He was not good enough even just as a friend. He could not fulfill his own promise.

This was one of the times that somehow he wished he would be just ordinary people, not an idol, or even when he was an idol, not as popular as he was now. That way he could spare more time for the people he loved, for the woman he loved.

Love…

Yes, he was sure the feeling he had for Mirai was not just a simple crush. He had had enough crush on girls all this time to know the difference. He would be amazed seeing a cute girl in knit-sweater, or seeing a girl with her short hair was blown away by the wind, or a girl with cute smile, or… He could always find the reasons for every of his crush. Yet, for Mirai, he could not find any reason.

Why he was captivated by her in the first place? He did not know. He just knew the first time he saw her by chance in that certain street back then, his heart thumped in unusual rhythm. He just knew he was deeply disappointed when he thought she was Akira’s mother. He just knew he craved to spend time with her, even though just to greet her in every morning. He cared about Akira, but he started to realize that he had thought the kid as though his own brother. And that was because Akira was her brother. He unknowingly cherished the things she loved. He could not find an exact reason why he was interested with her. He just knew that he did love her.

The loud cheers from the concert arena outside the wall of the changing room woke him from the daze.

Sometimes he did wonder how the feeling became an ordinary man, yet he would end up shrug it off. Seeing the smiles from many people attended their concerts, supporting them, was enough to wipe off the wonder. Just like this time. He was in the middle of Hey! Say! JUMP’s concert in Shizuoka while worrying about Mirai and Akira.

He drew a deep breath and exhaled it, repeating the action for some time. This was how he used to calm himself before any performance. Now, he had to shelve his worry aside. Their fans had been waiting and they must not disappoint them. After all, their fans were the reason they kept striving in the hardness of entertainment world while struggling with their private lives. Balancing both might sound impossible for him. He could only put the idol switch in his mind. Once he stood up on the stage he turned it on and completely merged into Yamada Ryosuke the idol, the face of Hey! Say! JUMP, the one that was well-known by his heart-winning-smiles. He would forget all his personal problems once his eyes caught the wonderful view of the penlights when the lights were off in the beginning of every concert.

“Five minutes. Please stand by!” The usual voice of the stage staff was heard in the room almost at the same time with the ring tone of his phone rang out.

He made a quick check. There was a message from Chihiro.

Akira has woken up; is currently moved to the pediatric. Ganbatte for the concert! :)

The arrival of the news he had waited for almost a week drew a genuine smile of happiness from him. He almost verged in tears unless Hikaru’s voice did not alert him that the concert would soon be started.

Striding to his position with a new light feeling, he could not help but keep smiling while adjusting his ear-monitor. He was happy this time, both for his idol life and his personal life; and he would devote all of it to bring happiness to the people out there. The idol mode was on.

“Countdown’s started. Ten… nine… eight…”

As the count reached zero, the music blared and every of them bathed in the spot light, ready to make the concert great.

**********

It was two days after the concert when he drove his car to the hospital in the evening. Clad in a light brown cargo pants, a white shirt and a black hoodie, he strode to the pediatric ward. He halted before the corner of the hallway where Akira’s room located as he noticed a group of youngster crowded before the door of his destination room.

Watching from the shadow, he recognized Kanata as one of two guys in the group while the rest were girls. Just seconds later, he saw Mirai exited the room. Each of the visitors gave her a hug and she smiled for their kindness. Somehow seeing the scene warmed his heart. It was assuring knowing she had many friends that care about her. The group left, heading to his direction, and he pulled his hood over his head before turning his face to the wall, avoiding to be recognized. Once they past him, he peeked from the corner and saw Kanata still stayed talking with Mirai. When he started to worry that Kanata would not left, he found himself wrong. Kanata left a moment after that and he turned his back so his face would not be seen.

He immediately ambled down the hallway and halted before the door. He turned the knob carefully then stepped in. There were a single bed inside and a large couch on the other side, and Mirai sat on the chair beside the bed. She turned around on her seat as his boots made noises against the hardness of the white floor, and she seemed so surprised to see him.

“Yamada-kun…” she stood up immediately.

“Hi, Shida-san,” he smiled and walked up to her. “How is Akira?” He looked at the unconscious boy on the bed.

“He is progressing well. Now, he is sleeping.”

He looked at his side and noticed they were so close their shoulder almost brushed.

“How are you?” He asked at last.