“Don’t cry over the past..

 

 

 

It’s gone.

 

 

 

Don’t stress about the future..

 

 

 

It hasn’t arrived yet.

 

 

 

Live in the present..

 

 

 

And make it BEAUTIFUL.”

 

 

 

 

 

JESSICA’S POV

 

 

 

Have you ever experienced being so close to death? As it it’s just centimetres away from you?

 

I thought being violated by a random guy was the worst thing that could have happened to me that night, but I was wrong.

 

 

 

Life proved me wrong. It was once again an a-hole! First, it played with my heart, now... it played with my existence.

 

 

 

Thinking about what happened to me last night, I couldn’t stop myself from breaking down again. I’ve been crying and crying ever since I arrived in my room last night. During the whole ride on my way home, I tried my best to hold my tears. I didn’t want to burst into tears in front of him, I think I already showed him enough weak side of me.

 

 

 

I know that they would probably flood my phone with messages and missed calls, that’s why I switched it off. My parents and Krystal has been knocking on my door the whole day, but all I said was

 

 

 

“I’m okay.”

 

 

 

“I’m just tired.”

 

 

 

“I’m not yet hungry.”

 

 

 

 

 

They must have already got tired of trying to get me out of this room that I haven’t heard anything from them for about two hours already.

 

 

 

All I wanted to do and I am capable to do is just to lock myself inside the room and just stay there. I wanted to redeem my sanity first before facing other people.

 

 

 

Traumatic, that’s the perfect word to describe the almost life-threatening incident last night. Think about it, if you were in my position, would you still be able to go to school? Or even just leave your very room?

 

 

 

It’s very unlikely that someone would say yes. You would be really brave and fearless if that’s the case.

 

 

 

The scene just kept on repeating and repeating in my head. Not just the scene, but also the weird feeling I felt when his arms were embracing me.

 

 

 

Though he didn’t say anything much of comfort to me, I felt at ease letting out my tears even when he’s around me. I tend to not show my weak emotions when other people can witness it, but.. I don’t know! Maybe I was just too emotional that he became an exception..?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I made it through the day without eating anything, contacting nor facing anyone and opening my mobile phone. I even slept with an empty stomach, which I thought wasn’t possible because my mom told me that no matter how hard you try to get some sleep, when you have an empty stomach, you can’t. But considering the fact that my tear ducts just produced a gallon of tears, I pretty much think it made my eyes exhausted, and unconsciously just shut on its own.

 

 

 

 

 

I know that I can't hide behind the door of my room forever, leaving can't be helped. So I decided that I should take the risk of facing life again as soon as possible. I just realized that if I keep on hiding, the favor I asked from Donghae would turn useless. They would worry because of my absence and if they find out, they'll worry even more.

 

 

 

 

 

So.. less time avoidance, less worry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I entered the school gate and parked mu car, the usual way.

 

 

 

I went out of my car, the usual way.

 

 

 

I tried doing everything in the... usual way. But...

 

 

 

I can't look at my friends' eyes the usual way. My chest felt heavy, I felt like I betrayed them for not telling them what happened to me the other night.

 

 

 

I expected this to happen, seeing them wait in the corner of our parking space, looking as worried and as uneasy as ever. Yeah. I did. Indeed, it really did happen. They were there, standing and gathered together.

 

 

 

The only difference is that the girls weren’t alone, Leeteuk and his friends were also there. And I don't know why, but I felt a little tinge of happiness inside me. I didn’t expect this to happen, I didn’t expect that even though we just got introduced with one another and hanged out for a night, they would already treat me as their... friend.

 

 

 

 

 

“Unnie!” Seohyun was the first one to see me, since almost all of them are facing the other side and she’s the only one who can have a peripheral view of where I am.

 

 

 

And they simultaneously, all heads tuned in my direction. They just shouted my name as they ran towards me. I could hear worry in their voices, and I’m not liking it. It’s making me feel guilty. They worried enough for me, six months of nonstop worry for a troublesome person like me is enough.

 

 

 

I just gave them a smile. Truth be told, this is a genuine smile. I’m just so happy that even though , as I stated above, am a troublesome person, there are still these people who care for me.

 

 

 

As soon as they reached me, they put me in an embrace. I couldn’t help but just tear up. Only now did I realize that this.. this is enough love for me. I shouldn’t have had bothered about the break up thingy because I will forever have these crazy people that loves me.

 

 

 

“Girls, girls, girls. We’re making a scene here.”, I said. Just to break the ice. We’re getting emotional here, and if this continues, I don’t think I could stop myself from telling them what happened to me.

 

 

 

“Yah! Are you crazy? Why didn’t you come to school yesterday?”

 

 

 

“And why did you turn off your phone?”

 

 

 

As they shot me with unending questions, the boys made their way towards me.

 

 

 

“I’m pretty sure Donghae here brought you home safely.”, Leeteuk said whule tapping Donghae’s arms.

 

 

 

My eyes landed on him, and I really don’t know how to react. I feel awkward while he’s in front of me. I just gave him a sly smile and nodded, I hope he can understand my way of saying thank you. Thank you for saving me.. Thank you for bringing me home and.. Thank you for saying yes to my request.

 

 

 

“Yeah. He did.”, that’s all I could say.

 

 

 

“So girls, you heard that right? So stop stressing her out with your questions, arraso?”, Leeteuk added as he put his arms around Taeyeon’s shoulders.

 

 

 

As a response, Taeyeon smiled back at him, and that ended our questioning session.

 

 

 

Classes were just like our typical class sessions, but there’s only a slight difference. If before, it was only us girls who would sit together.. now,  the boys changed their seating arrangement and sat close to us. During class breaks, they would come and talk to us, creating a more fun bonding.

 

 

 

This is the first time after a long time that I laughed and became comfortable around guys. I’ve never trusted one of them after he left me. I found it hard to allow them to enter my safe zone. Now, I could feel myself loosen up to them again and letting my guard down.

 

 

 

If before, we would be seated separately with the other students, since they think that we’re greater beings than them that they think they aren’t worthy enough to come close to us, now.. we’re not the only one who’s seating in a table.  They even joined two seats just so we could eat together.

 

 

 

 

 

The girls and I were the first ones to enter the cafeteria, and the what-previously-was-like-a-jungle of a cafeteria suddenly felt like a library, all tamed and quiet. Yet again, all their eyes were on us.

 

 

 

I was with the lead dancer of the dance club, the soul siren, the two y charismatic dancers and the topnotcher, what else would I expect? Well, you could add me up to the list. There was a rumor circulating around the campus that I’m one of the most beautiful students here. As if I care, I didn’t really get into the details. I chose to sleep instead. ( ^ _ ^ )

 

 

 

As we made our way to the cafeteria counter, most of the students that were in front of us, meaning they were already in a line, gave way for us. Not  a new thing for us, but we just don’t like taking advantage of the people around us.

 

 

 

I eyed the other girls I was with, trying to transmit a message of to who will talk to the people, and fortunately, they just avoided my gaze. Insert sarcasm there. Even maknae acted as if she was reading something. Great. -_-

 

I guess I should be the spokesperson again, like always.

 

 

 

“Guys, you don’t have to do this. It’s alright, we’ve gone through this before, right? Let’s be fair here. You lined up and waited for your turn, so we should also do the same and wait. Alright?” I said and smiled at them.

 

 

 

Because we didn’t consider ourselves as VIPs, we don’t like receiving special treatment from other people. Our schoolmates think of us as high-and-mighty people, but we always tell them we’re not, and yeah. They’re hard-headed. They still continue idolizing us.

 

 

 

After saying that, I can see that they’re smiling at us, so we smiled back and they continued what they were doing before we arrived.

 

 

 

We were already talking and waiting for our turn when a group of girls came to us holding lots and lots of colourful and decorated paper bags.

 

 

 

“Unnies. Is it alright if we call you that?”, the girl wearing the purple shirt said. I’ll just call her Purple then. ( ^ _ ^ )

 

 

 

We shared a moment of “stare-off” then faced the adorable girls, smiled and nodded.

 

 

 

“Unnies, please accept these presents we have for you. We really admire your inner and outer beauties . You became our inspiration, we really do look up to you. Please accept these presents as the sign of our admiration.”  Purple continued and extended her hands holding the bags and at the same time bowed to us.

 

 

 

They then handed the paper bags they were holding a while ago. I looked at the other five girls who I was with, they gave me this look saying that I should be the one to answer.

 

 

 

“You don’t have to. We’re regular people here, regular people just like you. As for the gifts and admiration, we appreciate them so much. Really! But we just can’t accept the gifts. It’s too much.”

 

 

 

But they were so persistent.

 

 

 

“Unnies. Just please accept the gifts. Knowing you accept our gifts will truly make us happy.”, the second girl wearing a yellow shirt said.

 

 

 

All the other girls they were with nodded in unison. I looked at them one by one and saw their pleading eyes.

 

 

 

 I was really in a dilemma whether I should accept those or not. I looked at the girl, trying to ask for help, and they gave me a smile telling me I shoud just let them give those gifts to us.

 

 

 

So I ended up accepting the bags because we don’t want them to feel bad.

 

 

 

“Okay. We’ll accept your presents, but we have one condition, is that alright with you?”

 

 

 

“What condition, unnie?”

 

 

 

“This will be the last time you’ll give us presents. Next time you buy presents, instead of giving it to us, give them to your friends or to some charitable institutions. Deal?”

 

 

 

“Deal, unnie! You’re so nice! But can we show you our admiration through other ways? Because we really admire you so much!”

 

 

 

We bowed our heads after receiving the bags. They left, and that’s the only time we realized that we were already making a scene, almost all of people in the cafeteria were already looking at us.

 

 

 

It didn’t take long for us our turn to pay in the cashier at the far end of the counter. We payed and brought our tray of food, and headed to the usual table we sit in.

 

 

 

We were shocked to see many girls packed in the area where our usual table was located. They were crowded there like saesang fans. Almost all of the girls there were also holding paper bags and were trying to hand them to the people sitting at that table.

 

 

 

I just stood there for a few moments, trying to see who were the people sitting there then my eyes landed to him, who’s eyes are also looking directly to mine. I felt my blood rush to my cheeks, so I avoided my gaze and looked at the opposite direction.

 

 

 

“Aah. So they’re the ones who took our seat. Let’s go girls. I’m gonna scold, Teukkie.”, Taeyeon said cutely, she didn’t sound mad or anything, she sounded sweet. How can you scold someone sweetly? Hahaha.

 

 

 

We were walking close to them when we saw his friends receiving the gifts given to them, while he was rejecting those given to him...  politely. I smiled. He really has a good heart. I mean manners.Yeah. Manners. I really meant to say manners.

 

 

 

I unconsciously couldn’t help but stare at him and at the same time... smile because of his gestures. I got so amazed by the way he acts that I didn’t realize I was staring at him for such a long time already. And it was so humiliating! Why you ask?

 

 

 

He unexpectedly turned his head and caught me. Our eyes met and he smiled at me. AGAIN!

 

 

 

Waaah! Define embarrassing! I automatically turned my head. AGAIN! ( - _ - )

 

 

 

While the two Casanovas just took the gifts and thanked the ladies they mesmerized. As soon as all the relief goods, I mean gifts were given to them and received, the girls left the table.

 

 

 

We were shocked to see another table connected with ours.

 

 

 

We were about to turn around and find another vacant table, and let Taeyeon do the scolding when Leeteuk himself explained the situation.

“Ouch”, he said because Taeyeon pinched his ears. “We’re not taking your table. We even improved it! See? We joined the two tables so that we can eat together. Brilliant idea, right?”, he added with a smug smile on his face.

 

 

 

After his explanation, they burst into lovey-dovey mode again. Eeek! ( > . < )

 

 

 

“Wow! This looks so delicious!” Sooyoung exclaimed.

 

 

 

They opened the bags they received and they were amazed of what they found inside ‘em.

 

 

 

Sooyoung got delicious-looking food. Tiffany got loads of pink-colored stuff. Hyoyeon got an awesome headphones. Yuri got this black-colored glitter-covered belt. And Seohyun got her most wanted book.

 

 

 

 

 

I was the last one to open the bag and everyone was anticipating to see what I got, so they gathered behind me and watched as I slowly opened and lifted the things that were inside.

 

 

 

“Wow!” that’s all I could say after seeing what they have given me.

 

 

 

It had a beautiful color blue flats that had a unique and pretty design pattern. And it was in my size. I looked more carefully and saw another thing. There was a pretty charm bracelet.

 

 

 

“It’s really pretty, Jessie!” –Fany

 

 

 

“Unnie, how come we have those types of admirers? We haven’t even done anything, yet they admire us so much.” –Seo

 

 

 

“And how come they know what we like?” –Yuri

 

 

 

“Sica! You are now officially our spokesperson . Kekeke!” –Hyo

 

 

 

“I swear! This is the best gift ever!” –Sooyoung

 

 

 

Even the guys were amazed, since all they got was food. Maybe that’s why they didn’t go to the counter to buy food because food made their way to their table without the guys moving any muscle.

 

 

 

The day went smoothly after the cafeteria episode.

 

 

 

Actually, because of them, I forgot my near-death experience the other night. I could say that this was really a fun day.

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So, here it is! Enjoy!

And fellow Sones.. please don't bash our girls and the guys they're in a relationship with, let's just pray for their happiness and support them all the way~ ^_^ <3 <3