“Where have you been?” I asked as Jaebum entered the living room.

“Hospital.” He said calmly. I look up to him with raised eyebrows.

“Caught a heat in the summer?” I asked. He shrugs.

“Kind of.” He answered. What’s wrong with him? Well I just shrugged it off. He’ll be back to his usual self sooner or later. I pop onto the couch, comfy myself by leaning there. Jaebum follows my gesture and sits beside me.

“Heeyoungie, whatever happens, don’t forget that Park Heeyoung is the name I given to you out of my love, alright?” he said without turning his head away from the television.

“What? You start with your went-overboard sister complex again, now?” I asked chuckled but despite that, I said, “I know Oppa, and you don’t have to remind me, whatever past I have, my name is Park Heeyoung, okaaay?”

He smiles. He just smiles, not doing anything else. Something’s wrong? No way, maybe it’s just his old habits when he’s nervous and thinking about too many weird things.

We spend time watching television’s programs until midnight, my head on his shoulder and his head is resting on top of mine, just having a nice time by ourselves.

I don’t know when or how, I fell asleep and when I wake up, uh, 5 a.m. now, well I just saw the clock, I was in my bed. I raise an eyebrow. Did Jaebum carry me all the way last night? I search for him to find him nowhere. Now, now, it’s 5 a.m. and he’s gone?

He’s so weird last night and now he’s gone just right the next morning after? Well I know that sentence seems oh-so-not-effective-sentence, but Jaebum I swear I’ll give you your most hated food when you come back home. Don’t make me worried now, could you?

“Uh so, what should I do now?” I voiced out my frustrated mind, couldn’t think of anything with my brain panicking like this. Oh, right, Junsu.

“Kim Junsu, do you know where my brother is? If you try to hide him from me now I’m sure I’ll—,” haven’t finished my sentence, Junsu spoken up,

“He’s here but unfortunately you have to go here to meet him now, he won’t go on his own.” Junsu explained.

I rush towards the door as Junsu gives me the address.

"Flynn, you'd better watch home or else I'd deal with you with special treatment I have prepared for Jaebum also." I said giving him a pat. Of course that's just a threat.

I decide to pick a taxi—don’t ask me how can I get a taxi that early in the morning because I don’t even know how I can get that—simply I won’t want to get lost to the way there will I?

Need explanation why I should take a taxi? Well… the address doesn’t seem like it was somewhere near my house so I take one.

But… I never think of it as a hospital. Wait, is the taxi driver took me to a wrong place?

“Sorry, but is this the right place?”

“Yeah, you’re heading to this hospital right?”

“Uh, okay, thank you.” I said and paid the bills. Hospital? To think of it… Jaebum said yesterday that he… Before anything bad comes to my mind I run through the corridor to the receptionist and asked for Park Jaebum. The receptionist gives me a face for some seconds while before she finally answered where Jaebum’s room is.

Apparently it’s not that hard finding the room because there are 5 stands out people standing in front of it. It’s the group of course, minus Jaebum and Taecyeon. The five look at me. I don’t know if it’s just my imagination, but I think I saw their eyes are red. Junsu pointed at the door without looking at me.

The others too, it’s like they’re avoiding my gaze. But my panicked mind seems to be working to think just about Jaebum that time so I rushed to the room without even knocking. I’m frozen as soon as the door opened.

Taecyeon’s sitting on the floor, having his face covered by his palm while his elbows rested on his knees. I can feel there’s no strength left in my feet as if it’s being knocked down. But I have to go to Jaebum’s side!

Before I knew it, I made it here on the side of the bed, holding his hand while kneeling down. His hand is so cold, it’s freezing. I can feel shivers run down from my head to toes. And in my head there’s just heat that keeps raised up its’ temperature inside my brain. I could explode anytime soon.

“Park Jaebum open your eyes!” I cried. “Jaebum, you know what will happen if you’re playing dumb with me, right? Just wake up!”

“It feels like he will open his eyes and said, ‘You got tricked guys!’ with that obnoxious face of him.” Nichkhun said, leaning on the side of the door. Everyone can feel his voice shaken, despite of his cracked joke, with him facing the ceiling. He’s crying. The others enter the room.

Chansung holds Taecyeon close with Junho burying his face next to him, and Junsu comes towards me with Wooyoung.

“JUST TELL ME WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED!” I yelled as I turned my face to them.

Junsu looked away, try to hide the tears that just escaped from his eyes and said, “He has an illness he tried to hide from us.”

Then a doctor entered all of sudden, “Yes, I’m sorry not to tell you but it’s his most sincere favor that I couldn’t help but grant.”

“You… you’re the doctor when I was losing my memories. Why… WHY DIDN’T YOU CURE IT?!”

“It can’t be cured, that’s why Jaebum asked me not to tell you about this. All I can do was to suppress the pain from his body, and to extract his time, but yesterday is the last day he could live on.”

I know, I know, I know that damn illness couldn’t be cure because if it’s could Jaebum wouldn’t be like this now! Give me back that person who saved me from sinking in the dark for all my lost memories. Give me back that person who always smiled for me when he knew something was wrong without me had to telling him. Give all that laughter and cherished jokes back to his obnoxious mouth, I beg whoever out there, just please.

“DAMN!” I yelled, not caring about whereabouts I’m now. Wooyoung hugs me, despite his loud cried. Tears run down my cheeks, no matter how much effort I give to wipe them.

Don’t forget that Park Heeyoung is the name I given to you out of my love, alright? I heard his voice in my head as I recalled yesterday, his last day.

“He told me to give you this,” Taecyeon stood up as he said that and gave me a small piece of paper. He wipes the traces on his cheeks that the tears once left there. “And this.” He continued, giving me an enveloped of a letter.

I hold those in front of my chest, trying to wipe out the tears too. Whatever happens, 'Heeyoung' is the most precious thing you’ve given to me. I assured in my mind. I stare at Jaebum’s blank face and cover his body with the blanket available.

May you rest in peace, dearest big brother.

I turn away and take my leave, I heard gasps behind me. The sounds are from 6 bunches of that five-years-old I presume.

“Why are you leaving?”

“I have no intention on dwelling with mourns instead of prepare for his funeral. That’s the least—and last—I can do for him.”

“You cold-hearted women! I’ve lost my respect to you, Noona.” Junho shouted.

“Junho stop it! You could tell just by looking whose it is in this room wants to cry the most!” Chansung defended.

“It’s okay, Chansung.” I said as I walk back in, towards Junho’s direction now. “Now, now, little crybaby, don’t shed anymore tears today, okay? Save it for whom you’d love for once and after last. I know you’re sad. But he’s still living, here.” I hugged Junho and continued my sentence, pointed at his left-side chest.

Junho continues his cry in my shoulder as he keeps mumbling ‘sorry’. The rest of the boys watch Jaebum lifeless body defenselessly lying on the bed, no sign of breathing. Of course, his breaths have long gone since hours ago.

“Heeyoung, you’ve grown much stronger than the first time we met, haven’t you?” the doctor patted my head while going towards the door. “I suppose that certain someone who saved you 7 years ago is the reason.”

I only managed to smile before the doctor finally leaves us and a nurse comes in to move Jaebum’s body to the mortuary.

“Do you mind if I suggest that we have to go back to get ready for school? Though it’s Jaebum’s…” the words coming out from Junsu’s mouth never completed. He looks away again.

“Yeah you’re right. As much as I want Jaebum’s funeral is soon to be accomplished, but… you know. And my parents haven’t heard about this incident either.” I replied while release Junho from my hug, place a hand on his shoulder instead.

“Let’s go.” Nichkhun, being the first man closest to the door he is, leads the way to leave that hospital.

See you later, Jae Oppa.