Life is pointless. Why were we given life if all we do is hurt? Was there even a purpose to my birth? I have no family, no one to hug me when I'm sad. No one to make me smile or laugh. I thought I had finally met someone but I was wrong; he's like everyone else. Why do people have to be so harsh? Why say you love someone if later on you take it back? Why make someone feel safe and at ease if you're jus going to leave? Why do we have emotions? I don't like feeling like . I hate all these feelings. I hate crying and just wishing I was gone. It sounds ridiculous to want to take your life after a break up but it makes me wonder. If he did this to me what makes others so different, how do I know that not everyone is like him? What if this world is just made up of mean people who just want to hurt others. Tao made his way into my life and left a huge mark on it. Without him I feel empty, I feel so fragile. Gosh, I hate being so sensitive. Why me? I didn't do anything but fall in love with him, was that such a bad thing?

I once read in a book that we all have our other half. In other words, we all have that one special person that completes us. That one person who loves you as if you were the only person left in the world. I wonder if Tao was that person, I wonder if he actually loved me. If he was my other half then he wouldn't have left so easily. He would've tried everything to  stay with me. He would have said he loved me more, hugged me more, kissed me more. I miss him. I miss his warm hugs and his precious smile. The way he would tease me all the time. He's such an idiot, if he would've tried harder we would still be together. 

He ended up leaving and didn't even say goodbye. He left the house as if he didn't even know who I was. Like we had never met or had a relationship. He just messed with my feelings and threw me away when he was bored with me. I don't believe him, about what he said about Chanyeol. Yes Chanyeol would do something like that but it's not like he tied Tao up and forced him to do it. No one forced him to do anything. If I really meant something to him he would've just taken the tape or something. That stupid tape doesn't even matter to me anymore. Who cares, Chanyeol can release it to the whole ing world. I don't care if my parents see it or if they lose their riches. I don't care about any of that anymore. I just wanted to be happy for once.

All I have left are the memories and that the most. How can I forget him if I remember everything about him. He's all I think about and it just brings so much pain. What if I will never find love again? I let the most important person to me go. It's all for the best, right? I'll find someone better and have my happy ending, right? This so much. It's like he took my heart and stomped all over it. I don't like this. I don't want to be like this. I want to rip all my hair out. I want to jump off a building if it would mean I wouldn't have to feel this pain. No one would care if I disappeared anyways. I was never apart of society, no one would even notice and that hurts the most. 

Would the pain disappear if I no longer existed? That sounds really nice right now; to feel no pain. I just really want to disappear. I want to go away, to another world. Somewhere where everyone is nice to each other. No pain, no discrimination, just love. Yeah, that sounds like a place I'd like to go to. Maybe if I go there, I'd forget about Tao and this cruel place we call home. I'd like that very much.

The highway bridge seems like a tall enough place to fall from. If I jump all the pain and worries would go away. Everything would go away, I'd go away, my memories of him would go away. I'm going to do it. I'm going to jump from the bridge, I think there's a lake underneath it; I would land in the water. A nice way to go.

--

I arrived at the bridge, it was filled with cars. Look at all those people rushing to go to work or going home to their families. I wonder if they're all happy with their lives. But  none of that matter to me since I wont be apart of this world anymore.

I got out of my car and walked over to the edge of the bridge and just looked down. The water is calm, I could go for a swim about right now.

I place my feet at the edge of the bridge and felt the wind go through my hair. It feels nice, expect for al the cars that stopped to look at me. They all ran towards me screaming. They're ruining my moment, the moment I say goodbye to the world. I wanted it to be peaceful but all these people are making so much noise. 

I closed my eyes and stretched out my arms. I took in a deep breath and let the wind take me. I took a step forward, only one foot left on the bridge. Their screams grew louder. I wish they would shut up. I ignored them and took my other foot off the bridge. 

The wind feels nice. I fell downwards heading towards the water. I can almost see the fishes, they're welcoming me. At least the lake is nice.

"KRIS!!" I heard someone call my name as I fell into the water. "KRIS!!" They continued to yell as I sank to the bottom of the lake. Their voice sounds familiar. I know that voice but who cares now.

I slowly felt my breath go away. I closed my eyes in the water as I sank in deeper. This feels nice. 

"KRIS!!" I heard once more, is that..........