Yesterday was the best day of my life, going to the zoo was really fun. There are so many animals there....well duh it's a zoo. What made me the happiest is that I was there with Tao. Everything is better when he is with me. Lately, all I do is think about him, it's all his fault. Who told him to make me fall in love with him. He's so wonderful, I just love spending time with him. I want to get to know him better, but I feel that I'd jut annoy him. I have never been so close to anyone so I don't really know how a relationship is supposed to work. Do I buy him things? Or should I text him, but I mean he is right downstairs. Should I hangout with him? Should I write him a song, letter, poem? I don't sing so I can write him something. I did get the highest test score in poetry. 

I sat in my room just staring at my blank notebook. I don't know what to write. He just makes me feel...happy. How do I write down my feelings for him. It's so hard. I don't know much about him but I know that he is a very special person to me. I want to know how he feels about me, does he think about me all the time? Does he want to hold me as much as I want to hold him? Does he want to know more about me? So many things going on in my head. I just can't find the right words to express what I feel. 

I spent like three hours trying to write the perfect poem and I think I am finally done. Should I give it to him or read it to him? ... I think it would be more romantic if I read it to him.

I went to Tao's room and sat down next to him on his bed.

"What's up?" He put his phone down. Now that I'm here, I'm really nervous. I don't think this was such a good idea.

"I-I have something for you." I avoided his eyes. I can already feel my face turn red. This is so embarrassing.

"Oh really?" He put on that smile of his. I unfolded the paper where the poem is written.

"I wrote you a poem." I blushed.

"Let's hear it." He teased me.

"The first time we met, I didn't like you

Always bothering and teasing me

On top of it all you made me fall in love with you and I love you for that."

"Sorry it isn't that great but I just wanted to express my feelings for you somehow." I blushed.

Tao just stared at me for a while. It made me feel more embarrassed.

"I don't know what to say." He looked away.

He doesn't like it. I knew he wouldn't like my crappy poem. I got up and left his room, embarrassed.

"Kris wait!" Tao came after me. I paused but didn't look back. 

"You didn't like my poem did you?"

"No." 

I knew it! I headed to my room.

"Wait no Kris!" Tao once again came after me. "I didn't like your poem...I loved it. No one has ever written me a poem before." Tao is....he's..no way..Tao's blushing. He must be telling the truth.

"You did?" My face was still bright red.

"Yes." He placed his hands on my cheeks and kissed me. This is what I love most about him, his wonderful kisses. The way he embraces me, I love it all. He makes my heart skip a beat.

"Kris." He broke the kiss. "I honestly do love you and I mean it this time." Tao said very seriously.

He means it this time?  Did he  not mean it before?

"This time?" 

"What?" 

"You said you mean it this time, did you not mean it before?"

"Oh well, to be fully honest I didn't mean it before. I might of just said that in order to sleep with you, but then I did start to like you. Kris, I love you now and that is all that matters." Tao came closer for another kiss but I backed away. 

"You lied to me."

"Well yeah but-"

"But? You know that I have always been by myself. I have never been in a relationship before and all you wanted was to sleep with me? Was it all a lie? Did you mean anything you said?"

"Are you not listening to me? I said I love you now and that is all that matters."

"I can't believe you just messed with me all this time." I left to my room, this time he didn't come after me.

I don't understand, I thought he said he loved me. If it was a lie how am I supposed to believe him saying he loves me now. I love him because he was the first person who has ever given me  a chance. Maybe what I feel for him isnt love, I just thought it was love because he was the first person to ever talk to me. The first who wanted something other than my money. I honestly thought Tao loved me because I made him happy. I thought we would be together for a long time. I want to be with him but is it really love? Does he even like me or just my body? I knew from the beginning that we wouldn't get along.